Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: write on January 25, 2008, 01:09:42 AM

Title: ps I said no today- and it was fine
Post by: write on January 25, 2008, 01:09:42 AM

a friend called, she is looking after her mother with advanced alzheimers and needed help tomorrow, but she has heavy flu & the mother is getting sick too now. I have gigs all weekend and if I catch it I won't be able to work. I explained and sympathised and promised to look in and help next week when they are better so she can catch up on her rest.

It was fine.

This is real progress in 2008- I have never felt this confident EVER.

I also wrote an essay for one of my churches about gossip and sent it to all the pastors- one of whom is an inveterate gossip!

I think I get it now- my voice is out there but all i do is speak with it, if people can't hear or don't respond...that's okay too and I might have to move on sometimes or feel incomfortable others.

It's okay.

I do feel a little bit like the kid who finally looked under the bed to see the monsters were dustballs and shadows though  :oops:

Title: Re: ps I said no today- and it was fine
Post by: CB123 on January 25, 2008, 05:08:56 AM

Yay!!!

Do you feel relieved?  I'm amazed at how easy it is, once I work up the courage.  The other thing I've found, is that people really don't get angry with me for saying No.  Much more angry for saying Yes, and then not following through.

Thanks for sharing, Write.

CB

Title: Re: ps I said no today- and it was fine
Post by: Overcomer on January 25, 2008, 06:01:58 AM

Good job!  You have to feel good about that!

Title: Re: ps I said no today- and it was fine
Post by: Ami on January 25, 2008, 07:56:46 AM

Yes, Write. When I stood up to my M and H,on my M's last visit,I saw that she( and he) were ghosts. They had power given to them by me b/c I had so much shame.
 My shame fueled their power . I was blowing them up to be big balloons, which I could "pop' when I got my own power---bleh.
  When I stood up to my FIL, a "huge" N, he backed down. It was so easy.
  There are so many shadows which WE imbue with form.
  It is a bite to see how long we let the"ghosts" control us---isn't it?
  There is no time ,like the present, to change patterns, though, as you are doing ,Write.                              Ami

Title: Re: ps I said no today- and it was fine
Post by: write on January 25, 2008, 08:30:58 PM

Thanks everyone.

people really don't get angry with me for saying No.  Much more angry for saying Yes, and then not following through.

yes.
It's passive aggressive too, to say yes then do it with rancour! I'm English so that's part of our culture: sure come in ( looking at clock ) no, it's no trouble ( damn,damn,damn...) would you like a cup of tea ( please say no....) and a sandwich ( would you like me to eat it for you...) etc etc
 :D