Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: tayana on February 04, 2008, 12:40:36 PM
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I was doing so well for a while. I'm not really sure what happened, actually. I've just got that panicked out of control feeling going on again. I do sort of know what's going on, but I don't know what to do about it.
* The creditor I thought I'd gotten rid of has hired a new lawyer and will be pursuing another attempt to collect the debt I thought was taken care of. I can't afford to continue to retain an attorney, and I don't intend to pay for this. I was looking into buying a home, thinking this matter was resolved, and then I started getting calls about it.
* I've discovered that I'm in no way ready for a relationship of any sort. I feel terrible about telling the girl I was seeing that I can't be a couple right now. She's content to be friends, but she still keeps pushing a bit. I don't like it. She keeps hoping that I'm going to have a change of heart, but I don't feel "that" way about her.
* I really hate my job, but I can't justify leaving right now. I make good money and have good benefits. It's just that I'd like for my co-worker to spend less time kissing the boss's butt and more time doing actual work.
I've talked to the attorney, who is supposed to call the creditor. I will have to check back on that in a few days. I have talked to the girl, but I still feel badly about that. I can't do anything about work but wait until things calm down.
Still, my stress response is in full gear. I realized it last night and took the as needed medicine my doctor gave me, which helped. I think I'm also getting sick, so that's not helping at all.
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Break it down:
*I think you are quite right about the relationship- unless a person will back off when we say 'enough!' they are not good long-term relationship material, their own needs will always take priority.
*lazy co-worker, she'll stitch her own self up in time, people can camaflouge-kiss-ass for a while but not forever!
*debt- you are going through the processes of sorting it out again.
All those things were not within your control.
What is within your control:
*The job you do - doing it well
* Future work: lots of us have had to do work we hate for some time, keep telling yourself when things have settled again you'll change jobs and do little things to build a bridge to another job. Even things like reading, meeting others, researching etc- I used to have a phrase 'set it up'. Most things happen in stages.
*active relaxation and stress management. Take your meds, exercise, eat well, get enough sleep, find anxiety management and self-help techniques.
Here's a hug ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
~Write
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Tay,
Hugs to you and the boy!
Love,
tt
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Thanks. I had to take M to the doctor earlier, and we played hooky for a bit, went out for lunch and walked outside because the weather was nice. That helped a little.
Write: I really like your suggestions. I feel very trapped in my job, and I've been working on trying to jumpstart my writing career. I've had several sales. Not enough to live on yet, but I keep telling myself that maybe I'll get there, or at least make enough writing, I could take a pay cut for a job I actually like.
I dumped all of the crap back on my co-worker.
And in a little bit . . . I've got to . . put a deposit on the room for a birthday party and pick up invitations. Then I can relax.