Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: write on February 07, 2008, 01:02:06 AM

Title: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 07, 2008, 01:02:06 AM: at the Ash Wednesday service tonight they spoke about fasting being symbolic for giving up anything which could be cathartic to take a break from.

I am going to try- fantasising. I know it sounds weird, but I think sometimes my intense fantasy has lead to me thinking I was more involved in relationships than I was or other reality distortions. It's quite a comfort habit, I have day-dreamed from a child. Tomorrow can be my Day 1! It's liek a symbolic starting-over and 'repenting' for many christians, I'm not so sure I accept the traditional interpretations of Lent and Holy week but it feels right to fast from this.

~W

Come away,

Make no delay.

Summon all the dust to rise,

Till it stirre, and rubbe the eyes;

While this member jogs the other,

Each one whispring, Live you brother?

~George Herbert
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 07, 2008, 07:00:23 PM: well this is going to be more difficult than I thought.
I got progressively more agitated as the day went on and when son came home had a bit of a meltdown with him...pretty out of character for me.

I've always day-dreamed whenever I need 'soothing'. Sometimes I've done it for hours at times of extreme stress.

I think it's become more of a problem than I realised...

Going to a concert now, taking son. Will think more about it when I get back.

~W
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: Overcomer on February 07, 2008, 08:39:17 PM: Well maybe you should give up negative daydreaming. Everyone needs some positive thoughts.
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 08, 2008, 12:02:54 AM: I write for a living, and I think fantasy is so essential to feeding creativity

I was thinking just driving home I should channel it more, so it deosn't feel like so much 'wasted' time...

Do you think it's a real problem (a la Walter Mitty)?

not exactly like that but it's how I got through my family and being married to a NPD person, and I'm still doing it- filling in the missing gaps with fantasy, attaching to people who aren't right for me, blocking things out which I need to see and hear.

I don't know if it's part of my illness, but I think it has become a problem thinking over and over the same scenariois, even things which happened and i cannot change- except in my head.

give up negative daydreaming.

I had a dream once and it was me as I would be if I could pick everything about my life. It actually helped. What I'm doign now isn't though...
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: axa on February 08, 2008, 06:27:28 AM: Write,

I used to daydream all the time as a child. I think it helped me survive but I found, as an adult, it did not help too much. I don't do it now and when I find myself drifting off on some fantasy I pull myself back to reality and engage in what is happening in my life. Just works for me!!! - by the way a lot of my day dreams were tied up with meeting the prince............ so given up on that one.

I have taken up healthy living, being mindful of my body, treating it like a precious instrument that I have neglected for years.

axa
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 08, 2008, 09:57:59 AM: Thanks Axa.

I have taken up healthy living, being mindful of my body, treating it like a precious instrument that I have neglected for years.

this is s true- actually this week I have lost the plot, less exercise, been drinking caffeine, working 14 hour days with no down time.....
Back on track....

I really want to make a big break between what happens in my inner creative world and what happens when I engage with others- I think it's my disconnect right there, I meet my needs myself with fantasy but that blocks actual relationships or spoils them.

You are right- it was a surivival mechanism learned early. It scares me sometimes how far I can let it blind me in reality now though...

~W
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: tayana on February 08, 2008, 09:59:46 AM: A couple of friends and I gave up excessive spending. That means only buying things that we need. We made a list of exceptions. It's to save money, reduce clutter, etc.
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 08, 2008, 10:03:25 AM: It's to save money, reduce clutter, etc.

that's a great idea. I am trying more and more ideas of 'voluntary simplicity' as I get older. We hardly need anything we think we do!

Good luck! do yyou think it being a group thing will help?

~W
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: tayana on February 08, 2008, 04:30:32 PM: Being with a group does help because there's a sense of challenge that wouldn't be there otherwise. Plus you can give each other encouragement.
Title: Re: What would you give up for 40 days for Lent?
Post by: write on February 08, 2008, 09:19:05 PM: maybe I should have picked 'the computer'! Is there a group for that- not an online one :D

I am sticking to no day-dreaming, but my anxiety levels keep peaking...been out walking earlier, that helped.

Feels like the first days of giving up an addiction....