Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on February 20, 2008, 09:43:51 PM

Title: Belated Awareness
Post by: Hopalong on February 20, 2008, 09:43:51 PM

Hi all,
I think I've just figured out why I'm so sour-tempered tonight.
A very long-term friend, whom I counted on to always "be there" has just more or less dumped me.
She's been moderately abusive in the past, and I've always been placating and conciliatory.

This time, I set a boundary (she wanted me to confront another friend with something she didn't like about her, and I refused)...and held to it. So...she began backing off and today told me she wasn't enjoying our (20-year) friendship any more.

I have supported her to my own exhaustion at times, and to have her detach now, with all that's going on with my mother, brother, and job...was just a ... tough thing. It may be good. It may be wise. But I think I was feeling angry about that and dumped it on the board tonight.

Not in a constructive way.

I apologize. I'm truly sorry.

Hops

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Certain Hope on February 20, 2008, 10:04:45 PM

(((((((Hops))))))) I love you bunches.

I'm so glad you're a real human being with a complete range of emotions!

And I'm so sorry that your old friend has taken advantage of your generosity and not honored your boundaries.

I hope she wakes up, Hops... and soon. You deserve to have her support now, when you need it... and not to be embroiled in someone else's messes. Thanks for sharing this. I'm going to pray.

Hugs,
Carolyn

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Sela on February 20, 2008, 10:10:45 PM

Dear Hops,

I just popped in now and haven't read your "dump" but hey!  This is the place.....if one has to.

Your friend has been "abusive" at times?

You don't need "friends" like that in your life Hops.

((((((((((((large big hug))))))))))

Still.....it hurts.  Sorry for that and for all you are enduring right now.

It won't last forever Hops.

Wish I could bring you tea and chocolate.

And a  huge bunch of lillies.

Sela

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Leah on February 20, 2008, 10:13:29 PM

((((((((((( Hops ))))))))))

My sincerest empathy as I truly know how that feels.

Take heart, as that friend departs out through the door,

so another friend will walk right in.

..... a new friend of quality and genuineness.

Love, Leah

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Ami on February 20, 2008, 10:25:07 PM

I am sorry,Hops.((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))                              Warm Hugs    Ami

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Elaine1966 on February 20, 2008, 10:30:44 PM

Hops,
I sure admire you.  You stood up for what is right, regardless of the 20 year friendship.  Sounds like you have taken more than your fare share with this friend.

Hopefully, she remembers how good hearted you truly are and will realize she was wrong to ask you to do such a thing.

Prayers and hugs are with you,
Elaine

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Gaining Strength on February 20, 2008, 10:40:38 PM

Hops - I haven't read your dump but I am deeply sorry that a very lengthy friendship would turn at a time when you are so low.  It will always astound me that people can be so heartless.  I have seen it happen time and again and you I will continue to be astounded by it.

My heart felt sorrow for you - your friend - Gaining Strength

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: teartracks on February 20, 2008, 10:56:51 PM

Dear Hops,

To feel dismissed and forgotten by one you thought of as an equal, a companion, and a friend has to be one of the most hurtful experiences.   I'm so sorry this has happend to you.

Love,

tt

 

Title: Re: Belated Awareness
Post by: Hopalong on February 21, 2008, 08:05:19 AM

Thank you Carolyn, Sela, TT, Leah, Ami, GS, Elaine...

 :oops:

(speaking of friendship)


((((((((((((((((((((((((youse)))))))))))))))))))))))))

xo
Hops