Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: papillon on February 27, 2008, 05:40:42 PM
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Just chilling out here.
Q1? - I'm very interested and wondering - how or why people here chose their unique forum names?
Q2? - If you've been here for a while does it still fit?
Papillon
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I am studying Spanish and my Spanish friend gave me the name Amelia ,as my Spanish name. I shortened it to Ami. Warmly, Ami
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Made me smile.
Hopalong
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HI, like the sibject.
I chosed a latin name because I am Latin, it is not my name, just a nickname, my name is very American, but I wanted for people to contacted me to know , to make it obvious, that I am Latin.
What more Latin than Lupita? maybe Rosita or Lolita. But for now, I love LUpita and I will stick with it.
How about you?
I thought that Papilom means botterfly.
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Question for you, dear Papillon
Q1. I'm very interested and wondering - how or why people here chose their unique forum names?
away you go ........ and start the ball rolling :) how about you first ?
why Papillon ?
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My first two names revealed who I was so I had to try something new and since I am try to overcome all the stuff I have been through all my life I chose that.
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I chose Violet because it is my birth flower, and my favorite flower. It is small, low to the ground and often goes unnoticed. When stepped on or crushed, it emits its beautiful fragrance.
Violet
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Oh, that is so poetic, Violet. Ami
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How about this for dull!!!! the first time I posted I had a piece of paper on my desk with the word Axa on it...........nothing deep and meaningful I am afraid but I do like the name........guess I could look it up and see if it means anything,
axa
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My name is for two children in heaven that are very special to me: Gabrielle and Benjamin put together to create Gabben.
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These are sweet and this is a nice topic, Papillon. I chose gratitude as part of my daily reflections and 28 for my birthday. Graititude is a reflection o AA and of my life in general. Yes, it still fits.
Love, Beth
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Oh Gabben! You are named for two sweet angels! ((((((Gabben))))))
I chose my name because it means "rock".
My faith has always been my "rock" and has always carried me through whatever has happened.
I guess I just wanted to honor it and keep it a part of me.
Sela
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I chose Leah
because Leah was unloved.
but loved by God.
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Oh Lollie.
That is a poignant story. With Love, Ami
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Glad to see you here, Finding Peace: )
::waving::
I chose lighter bc of how I wanted to feel..... lighter in spirit....
and bc of what I wanted to take control of my life..... as in lighting fires under my problems and finishing them up.
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I am amazed by how the names here are interesting. And Gabben's... wow!
Mine came from another forum, where I thought about how hard it is to trust someone in a relationship, right after my girlfriend sent me away, after a great deal of promises such as she was going to be my family. Actually it is ironic, because I tend to believe in people that have already shown they shouldn't be trusted and I forget, justify and fall in the same traps again and again.
Hugs.
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I was thinking of using searching for peace (felt more true), but wanted to put a more positive spin on it so chose finding peace.
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Thanks Lighter:) - I accidentally deleted my previous post :roll:
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Iphi is for Iphigenia, a character in greek myth who was sacrificed to further her father's ends.
Ironically, after choosing the username I looked up the translation of the name and it turns out that it means Strong Born. Iphi = strength and Genia = birth.
So Iphi literally means strength. I had to laugh.
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When someone shows you who they are, Hardtotrust....
beleive them.
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Wise words, Lighter. Trying to apply them in my life, but I feel like Bob Sponge Square Pants while being conned and saying, childishly "Reeeeeeeeeeeeeally?" (eyes wide open).
I am not sure if I didn't follow up, but what about you, Papillon?
Lupita said she thinks that it means butterfly, I think the same.
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Papillon is french for butterfly.
I so love butterflies and ensure that my garden has butterfly attracting plants as they are graceful and peaceful to sit and enjoy gazing at during the nice sunny days in my small peaceful haven.
Leah x
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I've been going by the screenname wastedyouth since I was a kid and use it practically everywhere, but I didn't here for some reason. In my teenage years it was a pro drug statement, but as an adult I find it still fitting. it refers to wasted years of my life. Perhaps I saw too many handles here that were positive and decided to give it up.
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I prefer reading positive screenames....... the ones that sound defeated make me sad when I read them.
I'm so glad that you found a new screename Shunned: )
Of course, I think anyone has a right to select the screename that says what they need to say.
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Thanks so much everyone for taking the time out to reply. I’ve found all of the responses
to be just so incredibly unique interesting, sad, tragic, grief and pain-filled, cute, warm, hopeful, loving.
Collectively though the words that came to mind in me was that I sensed 'tremendous generosity' in all your words. Then add to that the aspect of the total uniqueness of each post - that's where it surely gets quite personal, doesn't it?
Reading these posts constructs some very strong personal feelings, thoughts and perceptions in the reader about the writers, doesn't it?
Thankyou so much everybody :D
Papillon
Below I've written (maybe too much 8) for some) about why I chose Papillon. It would be very understandable if you confuse it for a movie review :D It'll probably only be of interest to people who liked the movie, but in any case you're most welcome to read.
‘Papillon’ is 'butterfly' in French, although the reason I chose Papillon is really to do with my strong connection with the character of Papillon, the butterfly-tattooed thief and convicted criminal. Although these are not the reasons I connect with him - Note - I'm neither tattooed, nor a thief. :)
If you don’t know who I’m talking about, there really was an Papillon. Papillon was a french crook called Henri Charričre who acquired the nickname Papillon because he sported a large tattoo of a papillon (french for butterfly) on his chest. He was imprisoned, repeatedly abused and tortured, and finally after many escape attempts, escaped to freedom to write his auto-biographies, one was called 'Papillon', which was made into the movie. The story has been de-bunked as exaggerated or plaguerized, but I still love it.
Papillon’s determination to break free from his prisons and imprisoners connects powerfully with me. I’ve always been my own worst imprisoner, and my prison is and always has been mainly of the emotional nature. Which is both a sad and happy realization for me. I'm pretty much completely my own creation. Papillon’s was of his own creation too, in choosing to use his amazing creativity and intelligence so negatively.
Papillon's "Escape or Bust" attitude is something I have too. Whenever I watch that movie it reminds of so much of me and why I can’t be a Dega. I can't be someone who accomodates to a dreadful situation, and in the end is content to remain safe, though imprisoned on Devil's island. I would rather risk total annihilation than remain anyone’s prisoner, safe or otherwise, even my own.
The scenes where Papillon sits and watches the waves and tides - and finally decodes the timing of the biggest wave. That’s magic. He correctly and cleverly analyzes the exact type and size of the wave he needs, one with the necessary force whose backwash will be sufficient to carry his coconut raft back out past the breakers - out to sea - to freedom - if he times it properly. The ending is in one way so sad, and then so happy, which is often so true in life. If we’re brave enough to risk it, we can have a chance at our own choice of life. And as an adult it may even mean we may have to leave someone or something we love behind. Like Papillon, for me timing and planning was everything.
Papillon tried without success to convince his best friend and sole companion Dega to come with him. Poor Dega was a man with a very delicate nature who'd fragmented under the hardship. I think he'd crossed over into some far away place emotionally where he'd completely accepted his hopeless situation, and was even quite happy living out his solitary confinement on Devil's Island. Also maybe Dega knew that it was a very dangerous escape attempt and it was most likely Papillon would be killed or wouldn’t have a chance if he (Dega) went.
Papillon is driven to be free, and is more than ready to face death rather than just exist, rotting on Devil's Island. It seemed almost like Papillon had a death wish if he couldn’t be free. Then comes that unforgettable image of Pappillon throwing himself over that sheer rugged cliff into the sea, ready to go wherever the sea took him. Dega though was probably right too. He most likely wouldn’t have survived the jump, and if he had he’d have probably gotten into all sorts of trouble in the water, and more than likely been smashed on the rocks, or couldn’t swim, or he’d have probably lost his glasses. Most likely Papillon would have had to turn back to save him, and then they’d most likely both have missed the coconut raft. I have no way to confirm any of this but it’s my fantasy and what I like to think. I think Dega knew the outcome would be bad if he went along, so he chose to stay on Devil’s Island tending his garden and feeding his pigs, happy to know that Papillon made it. So Dega and Papillon part company. In those final scenes when Papillon jumps from that cliff into the water, I jump with him. I decided quite a while ago that I've got to be me, and I've got to be true to me. That way, if for some reason I didn't make it to where I'm going at least I know I tried and never gave up. As with me, all of Papillon's previous escape attempts failed, and he faced dreadful punishment and solitary confinement as a result, but then he finally broke free.
Papillon makes it to his raft, floats away, survives and writes a couple of questionable biographies. I like to imagine that it was Dega’s love and well-wishes that guided Papillon's raft to freedom.
Thanks for reading,
Papillon
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Thanks so much for sharing the origins of your tags here –
I just wanted to say,
Ami – your name here reminds me of a fearless fantastic female aviator and feminist,
Hopalong – you didn’t say - but I love your tag from Babe, and glad you smiled, it felt warm
Lupita – Toledo is on my agenda mid this year. Lupita sounds like a brightly dressed, stunning perfectly timed flamenco dancer
LeahsRainbow - whenever I see your name I think of an enormous magnificent French tapestry of mixed color I saw once. It was lovely and your tag would have suited it perfectly.
Overcomer - it’s such a positive tag, suits a champion or athlete, I can imagine someone with that name facing their worst fears - regardless
Izzy - izznevertoolate - in my opinion. Somehow you seem playful, cute, cheeky, fun and so young at heart
Violet – you seem so warm and kind, your name suits. Regal, gentle, flowing, persistent.
Axa - what a totally pragmatic way to select a name. If I’d have chosen my name that way I’d probably be tagged ‘better empty the waste paper basket’ here. You sound solid, a crafter, creative
Gabben - ((((G)))) Thanks for sharing the origin of your tag. I can’t imagine… that pain. Gabben, caring, honest, intelligent, daring
Gratitude28 – Empathy, generosity. Success in AA requires tremendous commitment, personal responsibility, strength of character. Take a bow.
Sela – thinker, thoughtfilled and thoughtful, solid, I particularly respect your reference to honoring what has helped you. I like that in a person.
Lollie - those beautiful colorful big ones on a stick, loved by all. I’m glad your family friend called you a sweet nick-name. Maybe he didn’t do it consciously, but unconsciously I bet he was speaking the truth. You said “I was not sweet. I was simply a frightened child and unnaturally well-behaved for my age”. Maybe he could see that??? Who knows.
Lighter – you have a kindred spirit here. I’m with you all the way.
Hardtotrust – What a shame and how sad that she sent you away. And it’s a shame and sad for her too. It's her loss – too. Really. Not just yours. That story hurts but here you are still very generous in spite of your own pain. I admire that whenever I find that in humanity. Truly totally her loss.
Finding Peace – it’s got to be the worthiest journey, both the search and the find. Mine ends on a perfect sun drenched island in the Gulf Stream.
Iphi – What a tragic story when you tag explanation started and then how positive it ended. “Iphi is for Iphigenia, a character in greek myth who was sacrificed to further her father's ends.”
Then we have the translations of strength and birth. That was a powerful combination. I haven’t read your story Iphi, but I marvel at some of the stories here who had to have been strong a) achieve birth, b) survive birth, and c) to then be here discussing their own personal journey which seems to me like some have been to hell and back - and have lived to tell the tale.
PhoenixRising – That’s a magnificent tag. It’s like the sun to me. Pure radiant, vibrant, energy and sign of new life. Glad the burden is lighter.
Darren – Your name is so honest. wastedyouth is a powerful statement and journey name. But I must say, Darren sounds mature and optimistic to me.
I hope I haven't left anyone out.
Thanks for the chat
Papillon
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((((((((((Papillon))))))))))))))))))))
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I picked my name on the spur of the moment in order to register so I could post and I don't really like it for long term. Is there a way I can change it?
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Q1? - I'm very interested and wondering - how or why people here chose their unique forum names?
I had a fervent childhood interest in oversized, slimy, disgusting salamanders.
Q2? - If you've been here for a while does it still fit?
Like a mucous covered glove.
mud
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::wiping nose::
Oohhh Mud, lol.
You made me blow water :shock:
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Hi Izzy and mudpuppy
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Izzy - izznevertoolate - in my opinion. Somehow you seem playful, cute, cheeky, fun and so young at heart
I found this so 'funny; as it is dead on for people who know me in real life, and here you saw it on the board!
Do we know each other? <grin )
xx
Izzy
:D Duuno. Well certainly not in the 'biblical' sense anyway!
Thanks Izzy
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Q1? - I'm very interested and wondering - how or why people here chose their unique forum names?
I had a fervent childhood interest in oversized, slimy, disgusting salamanders.
Quote
Q2? - If you've been here for a while does it still fit?
Like a mucous covered glove.
mud
Mudpuppy - When I read your name it reminds me of freedom, cohesion, happiness, harmony, energy, balance and joy. Mud and puppies, wine and cheese, cob and web, sun and moon. Wow, we could make a word association test here out of this post. One to detect borderlines! :shock:
mud-puppy
mickey - mouse
black -
day -
coffee-
dream -
cow -
father-
red-
knife-
mother-
school -
bart-
So, very pleased to meet you mudpuppy, and oh, you'll excuse me if I don't shake your hand .
Papillon
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Nice to meet you too, Frenchy.
When I read your name it reminds me of freedom, cohesion, happiness, harmony, energy, balance and joy.
Really? Google 'mudpuppy'. It might remind you of something else if you take a look at my namesake up close and personal, as they say. Gross, creepy, hope-one-of-my-kids-doesn't-put-one-under-my-pillow, etc come to mind.
mud
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Hi Mudpuppy,
quote from Mudpuppy - "Really? Google 'mudpuppy'. It might remind you of something else". Boy was my image of your name off the planet. Just goes to show.... :?
Yes, a mudpuppy isn't a cute and fluffy ball having fun. Looks more like something William Blake would have drawn on a bad day, straight from Dante's Inferno :D
What are mudpuppies exactly? Salamanders? A type of Mexican walking fish?
I bet if I enlarged it 100x, chucked a pair of wings on one, hey presto, I'd have a great illustration of and Old Testament demon dragging people off to one of the nine levels of hell.
Have you ever done the Dante's Inferno test? http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
It's a bit of fun finding out what your level of hell you're going to if you don't believe stuff. Then when you know where you're going you can do the 'The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz' on the same site to see what part of you is sending you there.
Thanks for the enlightenment re a mudpuppy,
Papillon
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I love mudpuppies - aren't they the same as mudskippers???? We had tons of them on Okinawa and they are so funny. Of course, my choice of pets always leaned towards snakes and chameleons and now the ugliest, most worthless dog I could find:)
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Hi Papillon, :)
Have you ever done the Dante's Inferno test? http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv
It's a bit of fun finding out what your level of hell you're going to if you don't believe stuff. Then when you know where you're going you can do the 'The Seven Deadly Sins Quiz' on the same site to see what part of you is sending you there.
Yes, I have done the test when by chance I came across the site a year or so ago! :)
Leah x
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Thank you very much for the comments on my forum name, Papillon! :D
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Hi Gratitude28, Leah, Lollie, Hardtotrust and everybody else
G28, that's so funny. "The ugliest most worthless dog you could find." I want him/her. You could maybe make a fortune selling postcards or posters of him/her. Oh, you were talking about a real dog weren't you? Not a spouse? :D
Hi Lollie, well it appears as though we're going to be spending etermity together - by the looks of it. You'll know me when you get there, I'll be the depressed one in huddled in the corner in foetal position, thumping the ground with both fists chanting "damn you Satre, damn you Satre, damn you Satre, damn you Satre....................... damn you Satre" for eternity.
Hardtotrust, that's fine, thanks for the thanks. I just re-read your thread again, wow Lighter is really working hard over there. I'm just nodding at a lot of what Lighter is writing and saying "yes, yes, yes". Please hang in there and keep going. I'm sure you have the capacity to work through this, and I think your openness and honesty is great.
A few interesting and fun quotes :D
You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on.
Scientific views end in awe and mystery, lost at the edge in uncertainty, but they appear to be so deep and so impressive that the theory that it is all arranged as a stage for God to watch man's struggle for good and evil seems inadequate.
The idea is to try to give all the information to help others to judge the value of your contribution; not just the information that leads to judgment in one particular direction or another.
Our responsibility is to do what we can, learn what we can, improve the solutions, and pass them on.
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.
It doesn't matter how beautiful your theory is, it doesn't matter how smart you are. If it doesn't agree with experiment, it's wrong.
Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves :D.
Thanks all
Papillon
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I love mudpuppies - aren't they the same as mudskippers????
No, mudskippers are cute little fish-things.
Mudpuppies are very large salamanders.
mud
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Aha!!!! I stil like slimy and scaly animals. Bt now I have something new to google. :)
Papillon - really, Henry is an adorable (and, yes, worthless) bulldog. I have posted pics before - will do so for you soon!
Love, Beth
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I chose "genuine" because no matter what sh*t nfamily and life throws at me I ALWAYS remain genuine to myself and the people that matter. It still very much fits.
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Hi Gratitude28, Mudpuppy and genuine.
Gratitude28, Henry the bulldog. Love to name, and I'd love to see a pic.
I'm envisioning mudpuppy saying forehead and repeating "mudpuppy, its mudpuppy folks...how can you not know what a mudpuppy is?" :D I really had no idea about mudpuppys and now mudskippers. I gotta watch discovery channel more.
genuine, hi,
Being genuine ain't always easy, is it? I'm so glad it fits you.
Papillon
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I really had no idea about mudpuppys and now mudskippers. I gotta watch discovery channel more.
Google 'hellbender'. They are to a mudpuppy what a mudpuppy is to a mudskipper. :shock:
mud
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Hardtotrust, that's fine, thanks for the thanks. I just re-read your thread again, wow Lighter is really working hard over there. I'm just nodding at a lot of what Lighter is writing and saying "yes, yes, yes". Please hang in there and keep going. I'm sure you have the capacity to work through this, and I think your openness and honesty is great.
Yes! I can't thank you all enough for your attention and time! Thank you!
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Nogadge= gypsy for outsiders.
Nogadge
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Wow nogadge,
Hi. :D I never ever would have suspected that - AT ALL. I would have thought it meant someone who had gone back to nature, left civilization behind. No longer had electricity or anything modern. Maybe an Amish person, with no gadgets. None allowed in the community.
So nogadge - Is it a term that a gypsy would use when referring specifically to a non-gypsy?
Papillon
Hell is other people.
J P Satre
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Tayana is one of my character's names, one I often claim is my alter ego. The character has qualities I envy, and that's why I chose it.
Most of my user names are character names.
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Pappillon,
Isn't it fun and interesting just how much people will blow your pre-set notions away!!!!!! Life definately has a great sense of humor if you let it.
8) Is for outsiders of the non-gypsy....I do believe. I have come to apply it to myself in the sense that, I will never allow someone I really have never known in the way I have learned I did with the person I spent the last 30+ years with. No more outsiders, I have my eyes wide shut no more...........I hope!!!!!
Nogadge