Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Lupita on March 18, 2008, 02:52:58 AM
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A student was trashing my classroom. Tape everywhere, I mean sotch tape, clips in the floor, my things out of the desk, out of the drowers, dates and work erased from the board, my hispanic decoration broken. He did it several times, until somebody gave me the tip who was doing it. The principal called him, he conffessed.
Today in chapel, infront of all the high school and middle school students, the bible teacher asked him to stand up, then he told everybody, "you see this guy?" "He protets my stuff, do not mess with my stuff"
I felt so sad.
And this is the bible teacher.
I told the student: "God must be very proud of what you do, protecting Mr. Bible teacher's belongings and destroying mine".
Sometimes I am sad I work with Christian people.
God will help me to find another job. Please, pray for me so I can find another job.
On top I had a car accident. Fortunately nobody got hurt. And it was not my fault.
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I am SO sorry,Lupita. I will pray for you. I KNOW what you mean anout Christian schools b/c Scott went to a Christian school(Catholic).
If you went to the bathroom, s/one would steal your stuff.
Lupita, I am so so sorry. Ami
((((((((Lupita)))))))))))))
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Thank you Ami. Your kind words of support are very welcome, and I am thankful for that you took the time to give me some consolation.
Sometimes I hve doubts of my faith. But God is good and will help me to recover. With God'd help I will find a job in a better place.
Today I did not go to work. My head hurts from the accident. My neck and my back also hurt. My lights do not work well and did not want to drive in the darkness. To go to school on time I have to start driving at 6:45 and it is very dark. I have to check my car before. I will do that today.
The message that I think God is sending me is that things could be worse. I have to be thankful for what I have and not to cry for what I do not have.
Thank you and God bless you.
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Lupita,
I am so sorry you are hurting. Many,many Christians are in name ,only. It is just how it is.
I never saw such horrible behavior in kids ,as at the Catholic High School that Scott attended. He told me a time when the whole football team really ganged up on a "weaker" kid. It was out of a horror show.
There is s/thing about" fake "Christians that can make them worse than other people. I don't know what,but I have seen it.
God really comforted me ,after Scott's death. He sent me a person to love me, out of the blue. I have healed so much b/c of love. Pray for God to send you people to love you,Lupita.
'When my mother and father forsake me, the Lord will lift me up". You fall under that ,as I do.
I will start praying that God sends you people JUST for you.
IF I did not have the love of my life, I could NEVER have gotten through this death--never!!! Love Ami
(((((((((Lupita))))))))))))
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I hear you.
When you see "devoted Christians" you do not expect such a behavior. The problem with that is that you are not prepared, you are cought off guard.
When you expect something bad you are better protected. But you think, these are Christian people, they are not going to hurt me. But they do.
What I dislike is when they go to chapel and raise their hands up and yell Jesus Jesus, and leave the chapel and disrespect the teacher and still kid's lunches, and vandalize classrooms, etc.
Of course I have to say that the bad behavior is not the majority of the students. But the opposite. Just a few bahave that bad. But still, it hurts.
Sometimes there are activities I cannot develop just because of those few students, it goes in detriment of the entire classroom.
But what most appalle me is that when those three students were distroying my things, a substitute teacher was there and she chosed to close her eyes. I really hope that she is not there today. Even worse, she is the mother of one of my students.
I have read stories of parents who participated in fighting with kids, some parents are very immature. They are the ones that contribute the most to the problems.
I am wondering what am I doing wrong?
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Lup-I believe all schools have politics. My kids have gone to a Christian school their whole lives and for the most part it has been a good experience. I have seen some pack behaviors that were ridiculous-boards out of control firing administrator and principals mid term. I would not let my kids trick or treat because I would have been a social outcast-well that changed after I had my break down break out! I would try for a public job out here in the midwest!
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Hi Lupita......i read your story and feel your frustation and pain. I have done a lot of reading of the works of Alice Miller. Do you know who she is? Her descriptions of the human condition (cause and effects) gave me considerable insight into myself and others and the nature of human relationships, sometimes providing suprising insights into problems in my everyday life. If you haven't read her work, and would like to, a good introduction to the body of her research would be her books "The Drama of the Gifted Child" and" For Your Own Good". Some of the most important material i have ever read (IMO) is here, as she describes it. ps... glad you weren't hurt seriously in your accident. warmly James
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We already have to deal with enough hypocrisy everyday, everywhere. But when it comes from people and places where things are supposed to be different, to be better and even a role model... That's outraging.
Praying for you right now.
Hugs.
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Hey Lup,
Ah Geeze, I'm sorry you are going through so much crap. I have no doubt in my mind that you will find another job. You are a good teacher in a bad situation. There will be an end/closure to this.
Lup they sound like a really odd group you work with.
IMO it sounds (maybe like) the bible teacher was exposing the student for what he did in front of everyone but played with the words.
I think he made the student an example, as much as he could, without (public) embarrassing him, although he did in a round about way.
I think (maybe) he ackowledged what he did to you, Lup , in a way that (in these days) the school won't get sued. He put the student out there (in a way) made him own up to what he did. Think about it Lup. He pulled this student out of everyone. There was a hidden message there for you, the student and himself. I think he validated you Lup, Just MO.
I don't really know though. Just some thoughts.
Love
Deb
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Dear (((((( Lupita )))))))
I am saddened to read what you have been going through at this school, as a professional woman who diligently works hard in her teaching role. My hope and prayers are that you find another teaching post, one in which you will be valued and treated with dignity as a person.
I am so sorry you have endured this experience.
Love, Leah
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Overcomer, James, hardtotrust, Debkor, Foenix, Lea, Thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed them. The openings, I mean real openings, come the first week of August or last week of July. What they do is that they interview during all July and make a decision right before classes start. They do not make decisions before, since they do not want a full year contract for the first time, if they wait until the last minute, they give you a partial contact. That way they can fire you any time. If they hier you before the school start, thet have to sign a contract for the whole year. They do not want to do that for the first time.
Foreign Language is hard to get, they only have one. Math and English is easier but I do not have those.
Thank you for your prayers.
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Hi Lupita,
Just a thought. Here in the UK we have International Language Schools / Colleges where there is seemingly a demand for teachers of languages. Do you have similar in the US?
If the answer is yes, then I feel that the working conditions may well be far more pleasant and enjoyable.
We spend the best part of our daily lives at work and how I wish we could enjoy our day moreso! I have worked for a couple of awful companies in the past and have been most unhappy with dreading Monday mornings, so I do understand a little.
Love, Leah
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I do not think he was validating me, Debkor. He was humilliating me. But, I know he had to feel something when I told him in private that God must be proud of him. I mean to the student. Bible teacher is a maffia person, he is a control frieck, and that school is going to regret giving him so much power. He is going to own that school very soon. Now he put his sister to teach also. So, he is creating his team.
With God'd help, I will not be there next year. I ahve to find someting. I do not want to be there. Besides, they pay little, they work you like a mule and they treat me like sh*t.
God will help me. I am prying that God will help me.
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Lupita... it might be a good idea to leave the child, in you, at home with reassurances. Maybe that way the adult can think clearer in the uncomfortable situation of an interview and protect both parts of you without being triggered by old child fears. Wish you luck James
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Lup,
Thanks for answering me Lup. Oh boy! you really need to get out of there.
Meanwhile try to do nice things for yourself. Try to detach from the craziness. Easier said then done because I know they can so piss you off. Very frustrating.
I will pray Lup that you will be in another school at the end of the summer. I really think you will be.
Lots of Love
Deb
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Dear Lupita,
I am sorry you are going through this.
I think that you are in a very difficult position. Can you lock your room when no one is there? Seems to me if your room is getting trashed, the administration would allow that?
You are in an impossible situation – you have problem kids, but are not being given the support you need to correct the behavior – there are no consequences for these kids. Your hands are tied.
Unfortunately, I think the best that can be done in that situation is just to ignore the bad behavior or discipline as much as you are able, and focus on those kids who care about their education. I get the feeling that no matter how hard you try to reach the troublesome kids, they are unreachable.
As far as Christian institutions – I am not one for organized religion. I preface this by saying I am sure not all Christian’s are like this, but my F was a Deacon of the church; he tithed regularly. His reason for tithing was telling tho – he believed that if you give 10% of your salary every week you would get it back 10-fold. He didn’t do it to support the church. He also tithed regardless of the fact that he bought a house and car he couldn’t afford (had to keep up with the Jonses) and he couldn’t afford new clothes for me. I had to make do with my brother’s hand-me-downs and one winter he couldn’t even afford a winter coat for me (although he found the money to tithe and buy his alcohol and cigarettes).
I digress through – this upstanding Christian man beat me and molested me behind closed doors – he was what I call a mock Christian. He was only a Christian on Sunday, and did it solely because he wanted to be perceived as a good man (to borrow a phrase from Lighter (who I am missing here) - makes me vomit in my mouth!).
A lot of the people who I have met who call themselves Christians aren’t really what I would call good people – yeah, they may know the bible inside out, but they don’t really live by its precepts. (As you can tell, I am very anti-organized religion – and I am not talking about anyone here (talking about 3-D life) – I just can’t stand double-standards – and I see this often with people who call themselves Christians. OK, I will get off my soap box now.)
I can’t imagine working in an environment like the one you work in.
I am sorry to hear about the car accident – I hope you are feeling better soon.
Take care of you Lupita – I am praying that you are able to find a job in a public school.
Love,
Peace
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I am sorry Lupita - finding peace is so right - it's an impossible situation. I will pray for you getting the hell out of there. Hope my language does not offend! Every day that you face those people down - is a day of victory for you. This is a real battle and you are fighting it. They are the enemy and it has all been mischief of their own making. They are idiots. I think they envy you and I think you are going to get away from them and laugh!
I also hope your car is not too badly off, and that you are feeling better too!
I tried some organized religions, but I would rather take mine unorganized, thanks. :D
I used to be catholic and was confirmed. Confirmed kids had youth group instead of CCD. The youth group leader was a new priest in the parish and he was buying alcohol and drugs for the altar boys - who were all boys from my class at school. The priest also hated females - it was creepy - just by being female he truly hated a person with energy and malice at first meeting - eww. A few meeting of the youth group gave me a closer look at him and I soon quit the youth group and the church. He was just so creepy - I had to get away. Still feel gross that I had to go to confession with that creature. Never did go back to church except for weddings and funerals.
finding peace - I think what your dad will be getting back 10-fold is the way he treated others, but that's just part of my own wild brand of unorganized religious ideas. :D
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Hi Lupita,
I really do think that the problem is what they own; envy. When anyone puts in over 100% of oneself and achieves results then quite simply some folks just don't like it, and react in being just plain horrible.
So, I pray you can seek and find a much better teaching role, as quite honestly, you deserve it, Lupita, for you are hard working.
Love, Leah
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Hi Lupita –
Just wanted to clarify – my post wasn’t for me, it was an attempt at an explanation that I think a lot of people (including my F who is, I hope, an extreme example) go through the talk of being a “Christian or [fill in the blank religion]” but not the walk of being a religious person. (I got on a bit of a rant there - sorry :oops: )
Hope you are feeling better today?
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Hi Iphi,
There used to be a lot of days where I was so angry with my F that I hoped he was suffering as I suffered from him. Karma. But I think he already did. I believe he was acting out what he had learned as a child. Funny thing – he used to tell us that he refused to hit us the way he was hit (so apparently what I got was mild compared to what he was raised with, although have to take that with a grain of salt as he was very facile with excuses). More often than not anymore, I hope he has found some peace of his own – yeah he was pretty twisted and brutal, but I believe he was a tortured soul.
For him, I hope heaven is a forgiving place where he can find some peace, learn, and grow. In some ways, (and this is going to sound awful) it is easier for me than many here because he has passed on. I don’t have to deal with his BS anymore – and that alone makes it a lot easier to process his BS out of my system.
Then again, there are days where I hope he is roasting on a stick over the fires of hell :evil: (although these are fewer than they used to be).
Still not ready to go there yet with my mother.
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Hi Leah –
You are right – abuse occurs in all walks of life be it a religious person or not - and is unacceptable, period. I was focusing on “Christian institutions” because Lupita’s school is religious based. I do feel that somehow those who talk the walk and are abusive – are on a level all their own. Hard to put into words, but I feel that being abusive without religion is one thing, but being abusive and calling yourself religious – ew yuck – really leaves a bad taste in my mouth. (Although this is probably triggered by my Father who claimed he was very religious.)
Love you guys,
Peace
Sorry for the hijack Lupita - please let us know how your day went!!
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I have a day from hell, but I feel better right now. I have to dispute my believes that everybody is agiasnt me becuase me reason tells me that it is impossible for everybody be agianst me, but i took my axiety pill and I am not thinking clearnly right now.
I can not asnwer to everybody becuase I am not thinking clearly.
B ut want to say that I do not agree in the "hijacking" you put what you feel, and that is perfectly valid, no matter where it takes the thread, your opinions are importnatn no matter what, and very valuable no matter what. Nobody has hijacked anything. just expressed their feelings and that is valid valuable and welcome with all my heart,.
I am so depressed, that can think how to answwer to so many people that have answerd giving wonderful wrods of consolation, but tomorrow if I can get up on time before to go to school and 6:00 AM I wll try to answer.
You all are wonderful and I apprecvieate avery single and every one of the anweres I have gotten.
Love you all with all my heart and feel very thank ful to be able to read your kind words.
Love you and God bless you so much.
Love you love you love you love you!!!!!!!!!
Thank you.
PS. i LOVE LONG ANSWERS. Love them!!!!!!!!!!!
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((((Lupita!)))))
Sorry so short an answer :lol:
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FP, you did not hijacked anything, you expressed your feelings and I am very thankful that my pain inspired you to share, do not hesitate to share in my threads, no matter where it takes. Thank you for sharing, I welcome your words and your story, which in reality has so much to do with what is happening to me. We are partly talking hypocrisy in regular human beings that it is outrageous coming from people who have a Christina sign on the forehead, supposed to be “saints” trying to imitate Christ. But they stab you in the back as any infidel. I know I have to be alert with people “of the world” but I would never expect the same from a Christian. Hypochristian.
And the fact that in my school they are installing in the hearts of this young people that hypocrisy and dichotomy is OK, is appalling me. So, your story came just in the right place. You are not talking about boyfriends and make up. Or pedicure, or cooking. It is really related. And Thank you for sharing.
As you can see, I have been up since 2:30 AM, cant sleep, thinking that I have to look for a job for next year. But I have to have faith that God will provide.
James, could you expand a little more in how leave the child at home? I do not understand. Thank you for your ideas, I just need more help. I understand that there is an inner child. But how can you leave him at home? I mean, how to separate? That means detachment. I have a good thread in detachment and I read it and still do not get detach. Improving though. Thank you James for taking to time to answer.
Debkor, thank you for your prayers, I really need them. Please, pray so I can find a job in a place where I could be welcome, or that I learn how to deal with the unwelcome, or both.
Lea, I have nothing to say to you except that I totally agree, with everything you posted here. Totally agree!!!!!!!! Where ever there are humans, sin will be there also. We are humans, except that some humans repent and try not to repeat and some do not even notice they are hurting others or they know and they do not care. Thank you so much for posting several times, thank you so much for being so supportive. You are always very supportive. You never give me judgmental statements. I had in the past somebody telling me that I must have been doing something to elicit this response. And I most be doing something, which is perhaps, showing too much weakness and the pray on the weak and the needy. Please, keep praying for me so I can get a new job with better salary and to be welcome or to know how to deal with the situations.
Iphi, sometimes just a short pet on the shoulder is enough to make the other person better. Thank you for your support. I really need it.
Thank you all, dear friends, I really need your prayers and your support.
God bless you.
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Lupita, it hurts to think of how much you're suffering there.
And makes me angry.
I hope you'll consider Leah's suggestion about another kind of school...a language school....?
I'm glad the auto accident was minor. Still, you can only absorb so much stress.
I hope this weekend is peaceful and restorative in some small way.
love to you,
Hops
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Thank you Hops, I really need kind words or positive inforcement. And I am having spring brake now. So, one week with out sixth period. Thank God.
Love to you all.
God bless you.