Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 08:56:54 AM

Title: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... in the land of Purple
Post by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 08:56:54 AM
It Just Wasn't an Option ...

Having been raised in a Narcissistic Family of Origin
and now looking back .....

it is so easy to blame oneself and allow oneself to feel shame -- with thoughts of  "if only" ... "why didn't I do something other than"

but, the reality is ... quite simply ...

... It Just Wasn't an Option.


Love to all,

Leah x
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ...
Post by: ann3 on April 01, 2008, 11:45:14 AM
Leah,

Totally agree.  It just wasn't an option.  Period, full stop.

So, I must stop beating myself up.  I couldn't have done it differently.  It just wasn't an option.

ann
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ...
Post by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 01:01:40 PM
My thoughts exactly, Ann

I must stop beating myself, berating myself, and revisiting "why didn't I? ..... I could have ..... I should have"

as simply I didn't ... because, It Just Wasn't an Option.

Leah x
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ...
Post by: gratitude28 on April 01, 2008, 01:07:28 PM
But you are smart enough to make a difference NOW and break through what has been your comfort zone for your whole life. So kudos and keep on truckin'
Love, Beth
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ...
Post by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 01:33:31 PM
Thanks (((( Beth))))

I have just read through "The Narcissistic Family" -- breathtakingly amazing, especially, the accounts of real life stories.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... I lived in the land of Purple
Post by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 03:40:06 PM

Once upon a time there was a land called Purple.  It was named Purple because everything in it was, in fact, purple!

The grass was deep purple, the sky was a pinkish purple, the cows were pale purple with mauve spots, and the three suns and thirteen moons were purple.  The water was pale purple, and the food was in shades of purple, ranging from mist lavender to midnight plum.  Even the people were varying shades of purple.  Everything was purple.

In this land, not only were there no other colors -- no one even knew that any other color existed!
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... I lived in the land of Purple
Post by: Ami on April 01, 2008, 04:04:22 PM
Dear Leah,
 You are exactly where I am ,right now. I am hurting ,too.
  I see the patterns and feel like a stupid idiot for not trusting myself!
  I understand so much,Leah .            Love   Ami

((((((((Leah)))))))))
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... I lived in the land of Purple
Post by: Leah on April 01, 2008, 04:47:01 PM

There was no option, everything was purple, in the land of FOO.   (Family of Origin)
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... I lived in the land of Purple
Post by: axa on April 01, 2008, 05:47:53 PM
Leah,

Thank you for letting me know it wasn't an option, boy does it feel good to hear that.

axa xx
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... in the land of Purple
Post by: nogadge on April 07, 2008, 07:22:32 PM
Thank you,
Nogadge
Title: Re: It Just Wasn't an Option ....... in the land of Purple
Post by: debkor on April 07, 2008, 08:17:26 PM
No of course it was not an option for ya all you were just children.

BUT I DO HAVE AN OPTION and I need to do the right thing. 

I am dealing with a parent just like some of yours and I don't think I have any other option to not take her on (mom).  It is getting so so bad now.  Her children are experiencing exactly what you all have and then some.  They have lv's like Amy says.  I don't.

Oh God help me and see me through this to keep my boundaries and emotions in tact but I do feel I have no other option I have to protect and be their voice as much as I can. Those little kids need help. I can't turn my back.  They need to know there is a land outside purple.   

Love
Deb