Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on April 01, 2008, 10:22:57 PM

Title: Owning Yourself
Post by: Ami on April 01, 2008, 10:22:57 PM
 I was trying to" own "myself through getting the outside "right".
 I guess this is common.
 I tried to get a sense of self from  trying to get my M to love and accept me, then my H, then others.
 It was "dancing' outside to heal the inside.
 I don't think it is possible. I don't think it CAN work, as evidenced by famous people who have it "all" and it is not enough. If you COULD get peace, self love ,self acceptance and inner satisfaction from the outside, celebrities would  be happy, not tortured. So, that fact should dispel the notion that the outside  can bring inner peace and  self acceptance.
 You can see some celebrities who have inner peace before they got famous and seem to hang on to it like Paul McCartney(it seems).John Lennon got more tortured ,as his fame grew.
  I need to stop looking to the outside for self  definition,when self definition has to be FROM the self.
  Does anyone relate to this?                Ami


 
 
Title: Re: Owning Yourself
Post by: Ami on April 01, 2008, 11:01:32 PM
Oui(LOL)                Thanks ,Izzy
Title: Re: Owning Yourself
Post by: Gaining Strength on April 01, 2008, 11:04:12 PM
Quote
I need to stop looking to the outside for self  definition,when self definition has to be FROM the self.
  Does anyone relate to this?

Right on Ami.  I agree.
Title: Re: Owning Yourself
Post by: towrite on April 02, 2008, 10:14:31 AM
Boy, can I relate (((Ami))). a notable family therapist divided dysfunctional people into 4 basic types of communicators: (1) the placators, (2) the blamers, (3) the super-reasonables, and (4) the irrelevants. There are descriptors of course with each one, but I feel into #1, as you seem to. We placate and please everyone in order to know who we are. It never works and I'm glad you're giving it up.

Thinking of you.

towrite