Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Kimberli63 on April 06, 2008, 03:25:40 AM

Title: Making assumptions as a method of trying to negate hurt
Post by: Kimberli63 on April 06, 2008, 03:25:40 AM
Assumptions

Does anybody else do this? I try and rationalise everything. Something happens, and I get hurt. I then try and rationalise it so that I don’t hurt so much. This just makes it worse, because it becomes a festering sore, with the scab the rationalised version, and the emotions the rot or decay hidden under the surface.

Some of you will have read how I wanted attention and my two best friends had other obligations and were unable to give me the attention I needed (or I thought they  couldn’t give the attention I needed but didn‘t check). I wrote about this on the Attitude thread.

Anyway, I hope I can make this short because I do seem to ramble on. I got an email from one of these friends this morning asking why I was hiding. I was amazed that he would think this and replied that I had sent several emails during the week. He responded by saying he hadn’t heard from me in the last week or so. I assume or presume those emails must have gone into his junk mail file as has happened in the past. I will have to check this.

But the point is instead of checking that he was, in fact busy with his son, I made the assumption that he was, and I also assumed he was overloaded work-wise. However, I have no proof that this was the case but that is how I rationalised my need for attention - always bottom of the list, not wanting to upset anyone or appear too demanding.

Does anyone relate to this?

Kim in Oz
Title: Re: Making assumptions as a method of trying to negate hurt
Post by: Gaining Strength on April 06, 2008, 04:49:41 PM
I rationalised my need for attention - always bottom of the list,

completely relate, can't even say anymore.

BTW - I don't think you ramble.
Title: Re: Making assumptions as a method of trying to negate hurt
Post by: flowerpower on April 06, 2008, 05:20:40 PM
I relate to this, Kim. I tend to over think everything.  :P Your description of making assumptions to put a positive spin on something that could really be negative is something I do. I also do the opposite by assuming in a negative way. I am trying to shut my mind down more lately and attempt to live in the present without assumptions, but it is hard.
Title: Re: Making assumptions as a method of trying to negate hurt
Post by: Ami on April 06, 2008, 07:01:47 PM
Dear Kim
 I think you are describing LV(little voices) who don't feel that they deserve a place on the earth, to live,breathe, want, deserve, or need--bleh. I don't think you ramble ,either Kim. Your posts are insightful, helpful and full of wisdom.   Love    Ami

(((((((((Kim)))))))))