Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Berri on August 11, 2004, 09:33:26 AM

Title: Narcissim vs. Co-Dependance?
Post by: Berri on August 11, 2004, 09:33:26 AM

Can anyone give any insight on the difference between narcissistic behavior and that of co-dependance?

I have done some reading and have been thru counceling for co-dependance, not the kind from living with an alchoholic or a drug addict, but rather living with messed up parents and going thru emotional abuse as a young child. There seems to be a lot of similarities between narcissism and co-dependant behavior. Can one person in a relationship be classified as narcissistic and the other person, who dosen't recognize their behavior as disfuctional and continues to enable them, be classified as co-dependant?

Thanks guys....I'm new here too

Title: Narcissim vs. Co-Dependance?
Post by: Anonymous on August 11, 2004, 10:12:59 AM

Hi Berri,

Good question. Narcissism and codependence can coexist. Narcissism is a tendency to be extremely self-involved, selfish and lacking in empathy. Codependence is a tendency to lack autonomy and self-agency. Many narcissists can be codependent because they require constant "supplies" from others. They can't function without manipulating others to get a supply of narcissistic gratification. An enabler lacks autonomy by trying to please the narcissist and putting aside her own needs and wishes.

bunny

Title: Narcissim vs. Co-Dependance?
Post by: Learning on August 11, 2004, 11:53:40 AM

Hi Berri,

Welcome to the board and thank you for asking that question.

Hi Bunny,

Thank you for stating the difference so clearly.  I find it helpful

Lisa

Title: Narcissim vs. Co-Dependance?
Post by: Anonymous on August 11, 2004, 05:43:21 PM

My therapist says that the Narcissist and the co-dependant are a stable couple.  
From my understanding, N is self-involved, and C is other-involved.  So, C actually feeds on giving C's self to N.  C+N are stable but not happy.  N can't get enough, and C gives so much that C becomes tierd and bitter.  
If you are codependant, you are probably having a lot of trouble stopping enabling behavior.

Title: Narcissim vs. Co-Dependance?
Post by: Ishana on August 11, 2004, 07:52:30 PM

Berri,

This is an excellent topic.  It is amazing to me the depth of dysfunction that I see in my father and stepmother's codependent/narcissistic relationship.  They are so dysfunctional in their thinking that they have literally created a whole world in and of themselves.  It is so unhealthy.  Furthermore, I think its hard to grow up in a situation like that and not carry some of the dysfunction forward.  I know I struggle with issues of codependency.  I am continuing to learn how to set realistic boundaries and to choose to be with people who are healthy in their interactions.

Ishana