Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on April 25, 2008, 06:22:59 PM
-
--is a woman with silver hair but a very 'tough'-looking face. I see her on the sidewalk outside the condo building as tho' lying in wait--
First time we met) was a short conversation about disabilities, but I don't know what hers might be, as I didn't expect to be seeing her again.
Second time we met) was a little longer conversation about odds and ends and more about disabilities and the difference between our Federal Disability Plan and the Provincial Plan. She is on the latter, I receive the former.
Third time we met) she began to become more personal, told me she owes the Gov't over $2,000.00 because she had too much money in the bank, and has been cut off her cheques until she pays $$$ back. Too much info for me without expecting that the next question will be "Could you lend me the money?" I excused myself with gbroceries and frozen food.
Today I was downtown selling jewelery, depositing the cheque into my bank and on my way back to do some other errands when suddenly, there she was again, but on the street corner---
Said to me, "There she is !What are you up to?"
I felt uncomfortable, raised and eyebrow, smiled a ½ smnile , said, "...different things... " and rolled right along.
Somehow I cannot connect to her and hope she is not expecting a friendship....I would NOT be able to do it!
Just a post about annoying people,,,,......................... I will handle her.
Izzy
-
Is she another homeless person, Izz?
-
Hi Iz,
I think in shaking down negative feeling encounters it is wise to not make the assumption that the other person is equipped with pure, unadulterated sanity. I don't mean that cruelly. What I mean is that the person may be on the cusp between seeming normal and not normal on account something we may not be aware of. There are a number of diseases like Alzheimers, Parkinsons, Aspberger, and varying stages of organic brain diseases that cause people to seem 'off' a little. Not saying we shouldn't be cautious, only that putting that possibility into the mix might help when trying to understand the actions of another.
tt
-
Oh No!!! Lighter
She lives in a condo there! She is just outside a lot to have me run into her. The other end of the block from my apartment building. Apts and condos all along the street......... and about 3 houses-------------probably worth a fortune!
A lot of trees
like a residential street and then she is away down by the red X and that is where my other street crosses and is for all the businesses I need. 7 min. roll to the corner. I wore my watch and timed myself today.
Click to enlarge
-
Curiouse that she's waiting for you, Izz.
Careful.
Light
-
Iz,
Is she really annoying, in and of herself? Or is it just annoying to you that you can't get past that corner without encountering her outside?
Just curious :)
Carolyn
-
Actually both CH
I do that stretch on an average of once a week, and I wouldn't doubt, but cannot remember, that it is always Friday. I never even think of her when I don't see her. When we are in contact she is just annoying. I expect she is harmless but sometimes we just cannot 'fit' with someone else.
Iz
-
Thanks, Izzy.
According to the "How To Become An Adult" book (which is fantastic, by the way - Dandylife here referred to it awhile back)...
I get the impression that when we find people to be annoying, it's because they demonstrate some trait or characteristic which we have not yet owned within ourselves.
Ya think?
Carolyn
-
It's nice to see your street, Izz...so green.
Glad you have a pretty walkway for your outings...
Is the town pretty too?
Hops
-
This is a very pretty town/city
We have a Japanese Garden right downtown, not far from me and I'm near the lake
click to enlarge , if small
-
Thanks, Izzy.
According to the "How To Become An Adult" book (which is fantastic, by the way - Dandylife here referred to it awhile back)...
I get the impression that when we find people to be annoying, it's because they demonstrate some trait or characteristic which we have not yet owned within ourselves.
Ya think?
Carolyn
not in this case
-
It's very beautiful Izz.
How cold does it get in the winter?
Hops
-
"pure, unadulterated sanity" - tt, you crack me up lol
I would be wary, too, if I suspected the woman was going to ask me for money and then perhaps begin to hound me.
-
I don't pay attention to exact temperatures, but less cold (and far less snow) than other Canadian parts, and hotter in summer than other Canadian parts, although less humid, so bearable.
My Shanghri-la, I call it.
-
Iz,
Wow it is really pretty there and your pics of your grandchildren are adorable. The one looked like my son at that age but he had flaming red hair. Although now he would like to put green streaks into it. He would look like a Xmas tree. 8) :lol:
Love
Deb
-
Yes deb,
This is a very pretty town/city (over 100,000) where businesses as well as private homes, apt. building and streets are filled with flowers. We have flowering trees and other trees all over as well.
The 2 pictures are the same little boy and this is him when he came to see me.
-
Okay, Izzy,
I just wondered because people who appeared maybe too needy, for instance, used to seem a bit annoying to me... often due to my own misperception combined with a fear of being needy/lonely/helpless/whatever.
Your location is very pretty! That sculpture of the sails is unique, and the gardens... thanks for sharing!
Carolyn
-
Iz,
He is very good looking. Does he resemble you? Looks like he could have your smile. I think you should email him. My ex SIL had contacted me two years ago and asked if my children still remember her? She called because my children's Gm, her M was dying and wanted to let them know. They were not home at the time. But they always had memories and kept them going. She was a good person but things just happened and we fell out of touch.
I gave her my children's cell # and told her to feel free to call. My children were excited and welcomed it but she never called.
Maybe you should take the chance and contact Iz, What do you think?
Maybe he needs for you to make the first move. I don't know.
I think my kids really want the contact but are afraid to call in case of rejection. I think my SIL feels that way too.
And there is stands.
Love
Deb
-
hi deb
"It's so interesting, Hops, your suggestion of emailing KC, as I had that thought in mind as I listened to the interview on the radio -him, his mother, his father, all spliced as one report.
I felt then that I had some things I wanted to share with him, about us, maybe about my life, my broken leg whatever. I'll know when I get started.
He will be 22 on Oct 3."
This is on my cry thread down below. The conversations are rather split.
Yes I have emailed him about twice before, but I thought him somewhat immature to answer.
Now I already have one started; some things are facts he knows but I'd like to say something about feelings-- like mine being lost and the crying beginning again---but have to think on that for a 21 year old grandson.
I want it to be real too, not forced.
Love
Izzy
-
Iz,
I know 21 is hard and I would have to think about it also. There is not much more I can offer because of his age 21 but I think it is a good age. Not too young and I think he may be able to handle it, embrace things, gotta give him the chance.
I think, err 21 yrs, I think. I'm working with that age myself then 23 then 13. OH God!
Love
Deb
-
Izzy.... I'd write everything down I felt like saying in that e mail....
whirlwind style....
for myself.
Then I'd go back, with my Grandson in mind, and re read.
Once.
Re write.
Readtwice.
Re write.
Read again.
Re write.
Then I'd ask a few somebodies here what they thought and go from there.
Letters are my very favorite form of communication... and sometimes we don't even send them, after all.
You can put things down just the way you want them to be read.... no emotionally charged inflections or imperfect words.
People can re visit them over and over, when sad, calm, upset.... and that's a good thing, IMO.
Lighter
-
Hey Izz,
I think what would mean most is just to write and write and write a ton of little anecdotes, stories, moments, afternoons, rituals, funny times, that you spent with him when he was little. Not just about your feelings, but about his early life.
I think it means so much to people his age to realize that someone else holds their early childhood vividly, and that it had meaning and is precious to someone.
Even if you don't say much, or only a little, about your loss of him and your feelings right away, those stories? Those stories will tell him...
love,
Hops
-
Hey Izz,
I think what would mean most is just to write and write and write a ton of little anecdotes, stories, moments, afternoons, rituals, funny times, that you spent with him when he was little. Not just about your feelings, but about his early life.
I think it means so much to people his age to realize that someone else holds their early childhood vividly, and that it had meaning and is precious to someone.
Even if you don't say much, or only a little, about your loss of him and your feelings right away, those stories? Those stories will tell him...
love,
Hops
I agree...with all of the above! I always loved my Grandma's stories... even the one about how she tried to feed me spinach when I was a baby, regardless of the fact that the green stuff was coming back out faster than she could shovel it in... lol. And compliment him about something simple. One of my sweetest memories of Grandma was when I was a young mother and she commented on what a pleasant, cozy home I'd made... and how much she liked my flower-beds, in that I'd made an "old-fashioned garden". That made me glow!
Carolyn