Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on May 02, 2008, 07:41:18 AM
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I did not want to hijack Izzy's thread. You said that if you had a M who wanted to talk and "work out " the relationship, YOU would. I am thinking about my M. She does want to "work" out the relationship, but I don't know 'how".( Can I get and/or stay intact if I am close to her?)Just wanted your thoughts ,if you care to, Beth. Love Ami
PS This thread is no refection on Izzy's thread,in any way, just my own questions ,for my life.
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oh Ami
I just posted to my thread that you did, in effect, hijack the thread by not responding to me or the topic.
You just liked Leah's post.
I was beginning my response, when Iphi came on with a response to topic.
That is how it is done!
So as to not hijack your question to Beth, I will say that a mother who will not admit her dysfunctional ways, is a lost cause, as Leah posted on my thread.
again , good luck Beth
Izzy
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Ami,
If your M wants to really work out the relationship with you don't you think you should have a 3 party that is not directly involved, such as a therapist, that maybe you can both agree on (since she is one).
I do think you need someone to help you both sort things out.
Then maybe it would be worth a Go if you really want to do this.
Love
Deb
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Ami,
If your mother is sincere (and I would think she could not be a true N to be so), then I would say it is worth it. What exactly does she want to work out with you? Are these vague words or about specifics? What does she think has happened between you? You need to consider all this before you put wholehearted effort into a relationship.
Love, Beth
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bean,
You said exactly what I wanted to say... I couldn't express myself as clearly.
When I say I would be willing to make amends with my mom, I mean if she were able to say, "Wow, I wasn't a great mother. And I am sorry. How could we get past this." Since she doesn't have any concept of this, it would never happen. Even if she did feel this, she could never be honest about it.
I think the only time an N wants to make up is precisely as bean said - to make sure you are once again a disciple of her kingdom.
Love, Beth