Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: seasons on May 05, 2008, 08:41:01 AM

Title: sil and past triggers
Post by: seasons on May 05, 2008, 08:41:01 AM

mother

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: Iphi on May 05, 2008, 10:16:04 AM

((((seasons))))  I am sorry.  I know exactly how it is to have broken family that doesn't come together for support (or for rejoicing) as one would hope for.  I don't excuse your bil for his behavior either.  He chose to 'make wrong' to put your H's loving and well-intentioned actions into 'wrongness.'   He refused to recognize or receive your H's love and care.  But the love and care you have is still true and valid and not wrong at all.

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: seasons on May 05, 2008, 10:48:00 AM

Thank you so much Iphi.
I was feeling very vulerable this morning. Your kind words of understanding helped me very much. Hugs seasons

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: Hopalong on May 05, 2008, 03:24:09 PM

What a sad and mean person your BIL is, Seasons.
Next time you see SIL, your looks and your gentle hugs will convey all she needs to know about your intentions...I'm sure she knows them anyway.

I'm sorry she feels trapped with the man.

hugs,
Hops

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: Ami on May 05, 2008, 04:57:22 PM

Dear Seasons,
 I am so glad you are sharing your pain,on the board. It helps to share ands get support and feedback. The SIL sounds very sweet and I can tell that you care about her a great deal.
 The BIL has "issues", for sure.
 It sounds very sad and I know you wish things could be different.
 I bet the SIL appreciates you very much . I bet your love for her shows through, Seasons.   Love    Ami

(((((((Seasons)))))))

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: debkor on May 05, 2008, 05:07:56 PM

Seasons,

I am sorry.

Maybe you can share your heart and by pass BIL with a card directly sent to SIL and tell her what you and your husband wanted to say, comfort, hugs and words letting her know you are there for her.

Love
Deb

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: Leah on May 05, 2008, 05:49:51 PM

(((( Seasons ))))

Sincerely sorry to know that you and your H have endured such behavior, which is so disheartening to tender loving souls.

Hoping you are able to express comfort and words of loving care to your SIL, in some way, I feel sure that she knows your hearts.

Love, Leah

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: seasons on May 06, 2008, 03:24:39 PM

((Iphi, Hops, Leah, and Deb))  I appreciate and value your voices so much!

Title: Re: sil and past triggers
Post by: Gaining Strength on May 06, 2008, 03:37:32 PM

So sorry for that kind of bitter, meanness from BIL.  Sounds all too familiar to me.  So glad your SIL would welcome your concern.  Perhaps you could just say out loud what you want to say to her and record it and then you can write down what you said.  That way you could use your oral, verbal skills rather than feel bogged down by writing skills. (BTW you write so well here.)

My heart is with you Seasons.

Love to you and to your precious SIL.
Gaining Strength