Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on May 24, 2008, 02:34:25 PM
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The rain's a good thing.
All the moss slurry painted onto rocks and dirt?
It's cared for while I sit inside and nurse myself back to feeling human.
From the neck up....
I'm an alien.
As much as I love the greeny yellows my throat produces.....
it's alarming to see, all the same.
Ear pain woke me around 3am.
Headache started about 1pm.
I didn't even have the first symptom till last night.... how does this stuff work so fast?
Something to do with being horizontal, I suppose.
::taking snuggly green sweater off::
Zicam in play.... I'm hot then cold, then hot again.
Somehow, there's comfort in the familiar cadence of being sick......
going through the daily abolutions of treating symptoms.....
knowing it won't last forever.
Same old, same old.... but without Hop's little purple netti pot.
::wondering where it is now::
Makes me smile every time I think of it...
and I always think of it when I'm this kind of sick.
On that note..... I'll take a moment to muse about people..... then go back to computer work.
Some people get injured and attacked......
they withdrawl and think about only themselves... fold or comply.... all kinds of responses in between.
Others....
the gentler, more nurturing spirits in this world....
(and thank God for them all)
reach out and offer comfort others.
They nurse stray animals....and those who have nothing to offer in return.....
because it's in their spirit to do so.
An amazing confirmation that God exists, IMO..... and today the thought of a netti pot brings that amazing human capacity to mind.
Thanks to all the people who've reached out, during their struggles, and extended wisdom, courage and comfort.
"Everyone has their own dragons to slay...."
but not every spirit reaches during the their struggles.....
does it?
::saying a prayer for all the amazing people in my life.... 3-D and otherwise::
Lighter
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Aw lighter,
Com'ere and let me give to a hug...........but don't breathe on me or cough!
Anything that goes wrong I always feel is the worst ailment to have--the one at the time--toothache, backache, cold, headache...
....but lucky me, for the mess I am in. I think the last cold I had was in 1998. I had a sensitive tooth, this year so had it yanked. I take Aspirin for the few minor aches and pains of old age, Yep, I'm pretty lucky!
The last time I was ill and had to take to my bed, after the crash, was about 1975.
Am I making you feel better, or worse? There is no pain with my broken bones, so it's just another adventure. This one hasn't ended yet. How do they re-break a leg? Wield a hammer?
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Izzy, lol... I think I maybe feel better....
::cocking head::
Sort of....
after your post: )
I'm aware that a cold is just a cold.... broken bones are just broken bones..... a tootheache is just a toothache....
but you always amaze me in your cheerful acceptance and ability to rise to every occassion, without complaint.
I'm afraid I sometimes fall short, in that department.
I'll take that hug... ::turning head away and stifling cough::
Thanks.
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Hot tea w/ honey it for the cough...
Hot steam and compresses for the sinuses...
and quiet amusement (and maybe even a nap)... while listening to the raindrops do your gardening for you...
fairies at work for Lighter...
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Rain falls
And dark clouds fill the sky
Foggy boggy soupy weather makes me wail and moan and sigh
Slipping into darkness and the eriee dreary fog
Who could make their mind think clearly
When they're in this mental bog
I do not where I would be without the friends who help me see
That one day the sun will pierce the shadows
And its light will come to me
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Darren, don't mean to follow you around today, but did you know that some people have an odd form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that actually happens in spring, sunny spring? I have it, mildly (also the winter version). It doesn't last very long, but sometimes early spring triggers a few weeks of depression. Once I notice it (when I stop oversleeping) I find that starting up exercising regularly dispatches it within a few days.
I vote you take your self for a long gloomy walk. ((((Darren)))) Just ask yourself to notice 50 plants and greet each one in your mind. If you literally do that, I'd love to know what happens.
I feel good in spring rain...a drizzly early spring day feels good to me.
Doesn't mean it will work for you, but my thought stream is sort of like:
The earth is so thirsty, and getting what it needs.
I'm staggered by all the green, and the gray days show me other shades.
"My" house is such that I can have doors and windows open during gentle rain, it has overhangs. So I have the sounds and scents of rain...
How about you? What is it like, physically, where you live? Are you near natural things?
companionably, on this misty gray day,
Hops
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Darren, don't mean to follow you around today, but did you know that some people have an odd form of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that actually happens in spring, sunny spring? I have it, mildly (also the winter version). It doesn't last very long, but sometimes early spring triggers a few weeks of depression. Once I notice it (when I stop oversleeping) I find that starting up exercising regularly dispatches it within a few days.
I vote you take your self for a long gloomy walk. ((((Darren)))) Just ask yourself to notice 50 plants and greet each one in your mind. If you literally do that, I'd love to know what happens.
I feel good in spring rain...a drizzly early spring day feels good to me.
Doesn't mean it will work for you, but my thought stream is sort of like:
The earth is so thirsty, and getting what it needs.
I'm staggered by all the green, and the gray days show me other shades.
"My" house is such that I can have doors and windows open during gentle rain, it has overhangs. So I have the sounds and scents of rain...
How about you? What is it like, physically, where you live? Are you near natural things?
companionably, on this misty gray day,
Hops
I've had that mentioned to me several times n the past month, so maybe I should start listening. I'm in an apartment in the big city so there isn't a lot of scenery or nature around, but I certainly know a few places. It'd be nice to go back to some of those urban hiking trails that I used to do when I was younger. Its a bit dry and hot lately, but I always like rainy weather and should probably go out and play in it. Lately I've been trying to make an attempt to notice more of the world around me. I intentionally try to smell the flowers and pluck off some leaves and roll them around my fingers and feel the tree bark. I should do it more. It'd be really nice to get away for a few days just by myself and go camping or something. I'm looking to rent a house too... I'd be much happier out in the country I think.
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You bet.
Just a walk in a park.
Someplace you can go daily.
Let your five senses help you today.
They're eager to...thirsty to be out there.
Hops
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Everyone has their own dragons to slay...."
but not every spirit reaches during the their struggles.....
Very insightful. Loved it.
Thank you for your presence.
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Thanks for all the suggestions and poem, guys.
I wasn't here, during the worst of cold, to receive it but......
(internet go bye bye)
I enjoyed feeling the warmth your thoughts.
Thanks,
Lighter
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Dearest Lighter-
I have been away for months, and from that vantage point I can see facets of your writing more clearly, like appreciating an expressionist painting- your lengthy Proustian descriptions of oozes and mucus, sore throats and so forth- a poetic and symbolic sense of oneness with nature and the universe- there is a contemporary Chinese writer who writes in a similar fashion, the sense of looking out from a body into the universe much like any other feature of nature, and starting from that point to make sense of it all...Hope you are better soon, and can rhapsodize about spring and cooking and leaves and birds in your inimitable way- and then throw the puzzle pieces into the air and start again...
And Our Izzy- No matter what the subject is , she finds a lightning bolt of inspiration, slashing through all pretense, and even if she delivers a sting of truth and higher awareness of life's foilbles, one must surrender to the electric jolt of her dead-on humor and insight!!!! She too envisions life through the body and yet by doing that transcends into spirit.
I have missed everybody...
Love,
Changes
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You have no idea how much you've been missed,
((Chanqing....))
and
you're
BACK!
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Amen.
(((((Lighter)))))
(((((Changes)))))
Hops
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Oh please.....
Hops....
Please be twirling in your garden.
If you're in the garden....
you're overcoming.
Not just surviving.
Get some ginseng and try it when the paperwork sneaks up on you.
lighter
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Thanks, (((((Lighter))))).
The garden is practically twirling its ownself.
Looking very cheerful! Already eating the mesclun.
Good idea about the ginseng, thanks.
Caffeine just gives up after a while.
Working until 4:00--then frantic paperwork until Tuesday.
(Also working Monday.)
This is gonna be a marathon, but it will end.
xo
Hops
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Nothing like a deadline to motivate you.
Ummm.. or did I read the deadline was off?
Tues was the hearing, right?
Now off?
Attorneys never know what anything means when they're dealing with N's.
They're used to people making half assed irrational decisions....
not decisions based on personality disorders, which are much much harder to understand.
Lighter
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Hi Lighter (highlighter)-
How are you feeling? Hopefully everything has cleared up and you are feeling great and enjoying the weekend. Is it still raining?Today went by so quickly for me, the days are lengthening and the pace is not so frantic. Hope you and your babies have a lovely night and a fun Sunday.
Love You,
Whatever my name is, Chang, Changes, Changing???? (I'll get it straightened out soon)
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Hey Light,
I know how you are feeling. I don't know if I have a cold or allergies. I was sneezing yesterday and feeling a little yucky but later on that night I couldn't breath all stuffed up.
I laugh because everytime I get stuffy I think of Hops saying, can I interest you in a Netty Pot and I think to myself, I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO HER.
I hope you are feeling better and by the way, how did you like using the Netty? I'm seriously thinking about using it.
Love
Deb
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Hmmmppfff.
A Neti pot is a marvellous natural health invention that prevents allergens from building up, clears congestion, and keeps the sinus passage in the pink o' health.
I believe the Yeti, or Himalayan abominable snowman, has always used one, and he has the sinuses of a water buffalo.
For all your affinity for nasal excresences, dollink L, you simply couldn't make your peace with a snot hose. :lol:
(Yer right, you read the hearing is off. And my lawyer is off for the weekend so I of course have no idea what's up.)
Ugh. But I'm trying to let it be and not speculate on my brother's next move.
xo
Hops
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I do feel I failed at the nettie pot.
::nodding::
Not for lack of trying, of course but.....
the Ocean and Grapeseed Oil sprays would probably be helping if I had them.
Self care isn't something I've been spending much time on, outside gardening.
Deb..... try the pot, lol.
Id' send you mine but his little spout's gone missing; )
Lighter
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Hello Lighter-
Sorry that you are still feeeling poorly. There are nice inexpensive small facial sauna contraptions that you can use, you can add eucalyptus or whatever helps for you, and it really breaks down the obstructions and ick. Or the old-fashioned pot with chamomile and other herbs steaming with a towel over your head. And of course gardening, which makes everything better. Hope you recover soon.
Love,
Changing
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Light and Hops,
I'm glad your feeling better. I'm going to go for it. Tommorrow after the Dr's. I'm going to take the Neti Pot Plunge! I can do it! I'll do it when my D is home. I think she knows CPR in case of a drowning.
PS I also heard from my tax lady that she had terrible allergies where she wouldn't even go out. Tried everything and nothing worked. Someone told her to get local Bee honey within 25 miles of where she lives. She did and said she is just fine now.
So I don't know if it really worked or just was in her head.
Love
Deb
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Deb,
I would suggest standing...
clothed....
in the shower, while using the netti pot.
Clothed, in case your dd has to recesitate. ::nod::
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ah - well, now I've got "it"....
been pretty out of commission - fever, sore throat, dizzy, and congestion both chest & head...
just can't go the netipot route, though...
might go home early today again. Being outside, I feel slightly better - so it's not allergies.
Hops - yesterday on my sick leave, I started finishing that 20 yr old life drawing... seems my Rbrain is functioning just fine; it's Lbrain that the cold or bug has disabled.
Might have something new to post soon...I've been avoiding her hair; so if I "bag it" today, that's what I'll work on...
... other stuff going on - with my daughter - but I can't type well enough to go into the explanation; might just blow over anyway.
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Awww... sorry your sick now, Amber.
Much empathy for ya.
Get the zicam, the gooey nose squirt one, there's so many forms you can buy it in and the oral ones are beyond gack.
::sending you healing vibes and prayers all works out with your daughter::
Lighter
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Hilighter.....lol
How are you?
I am feeling better. How about you?
How are the girls?
How is everything going there?
LOve
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I sent you a message, Lupita.
The girls are doing very well and I'm experiencing fewer physical symptoms,
muscle spasms.... cold's about gone.
Anxiety comes and goes..... same as shock and sadness.
Just trying to keep our lives on track and be proactive as possible.
Learning how to focus on the important things... and not get sidetracked.... big lessons for me.
Thanks for asking: )
Lighter
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breaaaaaaaaaaathing with you
Lighter
Hops
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Amber,
Just thinking of your pencil moving
across that drawing...
those tiny placed lines,
the presentness of it
Makes me happy
love
Hops
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Lighter - I broke down and bought commercial drugs for the congestion. It helps, but it also disrupts my R-Lbrain connection. Being able to decide what I want to do - and remembering how to - or even just the doing of it. So something like drawing is almost a relief! (Outcome is truly not important - this drawing is just for fun.) I can just work from Rbrain... and take a break, to let Lbrain critique. We'll see if I can function at work today.
I talked to my daughter last night - and she straightened me out. All she wanted was to tell me her feelings and have mom listen & understand - warm fuzzies. But, instead, I made myself pretty miserable worrying, anxious, trying to "fix" her feelings... sigh. Working out why I do this (the Nmom-me pattern) and how to stop it this morning. I think I found the "dysfunction" in myself... but it usually takes a day-two of looking at these things to decide if it's just a wild-ass theory, or if there's really something true/valid in it. Fear & Control... and "who's" in charge of me. That's the gist of it. Really, it's much better than it was; progress being made...I just want to let this go completely, now.
The IMPORTANT things are just so, so simple, aren't they?
More, soon.
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It's hard enough to function with a plain old cold, much less with cold meds on top of it.
Glad it's working out well for your drawing..... I miss having a creative outlet. Really need to get back to the koi pond.
I'm sure you'll be fine at work.... nobody functions at their best when they're sick, esp that kind of sick.
It's fascinating to watch you navigate your relationships, Amber.
Most people just wonder whats going on, worry and muddle around, confused.
You actually dissect things down to their essense and move the pieces about.
Amazing work..... truly an honor to witness.
Feel better ((Amber))
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Lighter,
I was always the kid who asked "why" incessantly! When no one else knew, I decided to find the answers my self.
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I can imagine that's why you've come as far as you have, Amber.
I can't remember.... have you taken the Meyers Briggs Personality Test?
Lighter
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Before therapy, I was INTJ.
I imagine that might've changed... maybe not.
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I've hear people never change their personality designation.
A friend said it happened to him during intense therapy with a very good Psychiatrist but.... the P said he'd never seen it happen before.
I'm an INFP: )