Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Lupita on May 26, 2008, 12:09:29 PM
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Yesterday was the procession for high school graduation. You have to wear a gown. There are BD, Master and Doctorate gowns. BD has nothing, Master has two lines and Doctorate has three lines in the sleaves. I have a doctorate degree. So, I wore a doctorate gown. One teacher was very mad at me and told me that another person is coming to the schoool with a higher degree than me and I did not ask her, I just sat to read wating for the event to start.
I think I earned the right to wear a doctorate gown and I did noting wrong for wearing it. Why people got mad? Should I have just wore a gown for a BD?
Please tell me what you think.
Yes, hops, you are right, I have to pretend all the time and find no support and feeling unsafe. It is killing me. :(
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Dear Lupita,
How dare anyone speak to you in such a condescending manner. You worked hard and earned your doctorate degree -- so you have earned the status of wearing the appropriate gown.
One word regarding the person who spoke to you ... ENVY (not mere jealousy).
You did the right thing, in choosing not to take her bait and respond (your boundary) and sit with dignity and poise whilst waiting for the event to start.
WIN-WIN outcome for YOU dear Lupita.
Oh, I so wish I could visit this school ...... with a "soap box" !!
(((((((( Lupita )))))))))
Love, Leah
PS. "Hypocrites and Vipers" springs to mind (Jesus' words).
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Lea, Lea, I need you so much, so much. Thank you so much for your continues support. Your words mean a lot to me. I have copied some words from you that I loved.
You extended your affection to me. I love the language the vocabulary that you use. It is very very refined. You have no idea how many times I have copy and saved your words so I can leran them better. I sometimes have been abel to use them. I have copied so much from you.
Thank you.
Inside me, I know that I did not do anything wrong. But this teacher did not have to say any comment. She did not even have to sat hi to me. In fact, she never talks to me. She just came to me and told me what I told you. And the principal told me not to wear the back part. I did not wear the back part. Just the three lines on the sleaves. Still, other two people gave me a very dirty look. Another teacher told me if I was feeling special. I said I went to school nince years after high school and most of people go only four. I did not say most of people go only four. I just said I went to school nine years after high school. I was thinking I deserve to wear it. And I will wear it tomorrow ofr the graduation ceremony. And I did not wear the back part. I cannot imagine the noice if I wore the back part with the colors of a doctorate very brilliant. Hmmmm, I am kind of sad that I cannot even be proud fo so much work I did because even that causes them to hate me. I am sad but less sad.
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Dear Lupita,
It is hard not to be liked. It is MUCH harder for people who were not "liked"(loved???) by their M's. Everything in the present "feels" like an instant replay of the past.It is like the past feelings of worthlessness overwhelm us, in the present.
It helps me, tremendously, to realize that it is ,indeed, the past feelings making the present injustice worse, even though the prsent injustice is still true.
That is my take on it. Wear what feels good,in your heart, Lupita. Ami
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I hope you understand that you don't HAVE to pretend all the time.
Lupita, I think you could choose something else.
But you need regular support to do it.
love
Hops
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Ami, I thought you said you thought I did not want your comments.
I asked you fro help directly and you said that I said before that I did not want your comments.
So, now I see a comment and makes me very confused. And I have seen other comments in other of my threads and that is why I asked you for help.
Any way, I still pray for your son.
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Good Lord, Lupita.
The raw envy of these people should bounce right off your very well educatedf back, IMO.
Step back and look at what they're condemning.....
something they don't have and wish you didn't either.
It's envy. No confusion there.
How sad that they have the nerve and feel they can confront you about such a thing.
Hold your head high..... smile and tell them you earned your doctorate.
If they want one.... they can go earn one too.
The nerve!
((Lupita))
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That is teh saddest thing Lighter, not that they do not have it but they do not want somebody else to have it.
That is what makes me sad.
They hate people who work hard.
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They're sad little enviouse people who lack joy and the ability to embrace other people's accomplishments.
It comes from living in place of scarcity.
If anyone else has something.....
they think there's not enough for them.
Very sad and not the way you want to live your life.
You earned everything you have and you deserve to own it.
Lighter
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They are full of fear that there's not enough to go around.
Not enough praise.
Not enough pleasure for others' accomplishments.
Not enough goodwill.
Not enough education.
Not enough attention.
Not enough money.
Not enough power.
Not enough love.
March humbly but wear your gown in comfort, Lupita.
love
Hops
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Yesterday was the procession for high school graduation. You have to wear a gown. There are BD, Master and Doctorate gowns. BD has nothing, Master has two lines and Doctorate has three lines in the sleaves. I have a doctorate degree. So, I wore a doctorate gown. One teacher was very mad at me and told me that another person is coming to the schoool with a higher degree than me and I did not ask her, I just sat to read wating for the event to start.
I think I earned the right to wear a doctorate gown and I did noting wrong for wearing it. Why people got mad? Should I have just wore a gown for a BD?
Please tell me what you think.
Yes, hops, you are right, I have to pretend all the time and find no support and feeling unsafe. It is killing me. :(
It sounds to me like you have every right to feel special and be proud of yourself. Thats quite an accomplishment and people should be congratulating you and encouraging you, not offering negativity.
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Those people have no right to deny you to display what you worked so hard for, Lupita. They are the ones who are "out of line", who are doing bad things... and they should be ashamed of their jealousy & envy.
You have the right to feel proud of your accomplishments, yourSELF, and wear what you choose. Do not feel badly, because these other people have no manners, no virtues, no couth. It's THEIR problem that they think so "small" and mean. I am sorry this makes you feel so badly; I wish you didn't - I wish that you could not let that hurt you.
Can you find any feelings of relief, that soon you'll be free to find a better school? Any joy and looking forward to the future in that?
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Dar, PR and Hop, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Today again the pain. After working all day long at school I have to go back to school at 6:30 PM for a ceremony for seniors again. Not only Sunday but today also. And parent night twice a year. Plus learning fair, plus chapel and 7:00 AM plus so many things that are a killer and on top they mistreat me.
I am just so tired. I need to rest.
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((((((((( God Bless You Lupita )))))))))
Sincerely, your kinds words of encouragement have truly uplifted me today, more than you can ever know.
"thank you"
My unwavering discernment of you, Lupita, is that you are a genuine good person of honor and integrity.
Love, Leah
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You are very tired...
Lupita, you're soaked in adrenalin.
Be kind to yourself.
Please take time every night for stillness and beauty and peace.
lots of love,
Hops
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How dare that woman have the impertinence to question you. I wish you had asked her if she had a degree past high school diploma. heh heh.
Lupita these people are such a waste. I tell you I can't stand them and I am only reading about what you must face in person every day. They make the skin crawl.
Here is a story to inspire. My MIL went to med school in the 60's and her fellow male students, and professors too, used to always say "What a waste to have a woman here, taking up a useful spot that could be for a man, when she will just quit and have children anyway. What a shameful waste!"
Well she has got her degree and no one can take it away from her, not then and not over 40 years later. AND YOU TOO. You did it the work, and you earned it, and it is yours, and nobody can take it away from you.
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I went to a female doctor who was one of the first women in med school here.
Her first name was Regina...so you can guess what they called her (Vagina). Derision, mocking, contempt.
Hops
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Thank you Iphi and thank you Hops for your words of encouragement.
Hopefully I will find another job in a regular school where I do not have tog o to church, if I go it is becase I want to, not to be able to keep my job.
Also, in public schools they pay double salary. IN private it is 24 a year in public it is 38 a year just to start with way better benefits. If God blesses me with a job in public schools, then that is it. End of search.
That would be the end of this thread too. One more in the past.
God bless you.
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So sorry I didn't get those links to you, Lupita.
I made a list and tried to send it twice then couldn;t get internet service for 2 days.
drats and doublt frustrating drats.
Now I can't find the list :x
Lighter
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lup-I find the same dreadful stuff happens at my store. Christians can be the worse offenders-my mom number one! Run as fast as you can to a public school. I wish you had asked that lady which degree she had? I hate hate hate people like that!