Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on May 31, 2008, 05:36:26 PM

Title: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Izzy_*now* on May 31, 2008, 05:36:26 PM

June 7, 1969....brand new Chevrolet

(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/69accident.jpg)

This is my seat, the passenger side. There were no seat belt laws then
so I was without one and was thrown on the floor, otherwise my head would have been in my tummy! It rolled 3 x and landed on the passenger side each time.

This is the first I have seen this picture. It is unreal, and I also recognize my eldest sister there. (I recognized her when I realized her sunglasses were on her head.) I had NO idea about that. The yellow is paint from in his truck ........taken by husband of my friend and my daughter's caregiver. He ran right down to the place where it would be towed (ghoulish) and I saw one picture from the driver's side where I was lifted out and blood on the rocker panels.

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Changes on May 31, 2008, 05:47:49 PM

Oh Izzy-

The car looks as if it had been demolished by a wrecking yard...Such a terrible photo, but I am happy that you are still with us- it looks like no one could emerge from the wreckage.

I had a professor who said that seat belts were actually designed for the safety of  big , fat  men , and that small women can suffer great injuries from using them- there is a website where one can affirmatively opt out of seatbelts. He said that the seatbelt laws were implemented for the benefit of the insurance industry and auto manufacturers to protect against class action torts , etc, where counsel will propose what should have been done to prevent great harm, etc  How odd and how different from what we have all been told!!

You are a toughie, Izzy. I have gone back to the place where I had my accident, and everyone had been so nice to me there, at the time and upon myreturn, that it was not so bad, and interesting to see how high the roof was, etc.

Wow, you have photos of everything- like a historian or a reporter- Awesome!!!

Love You,

Changes

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Izzy_*now* on May 31, 2008, 06:08:25 PM

Yes. quite the mess.

I asked C. for it, as I wondered about my reaction, now that I live as a disabled person (what a difference!) no bad horrors after all this time!

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Changes on May 31, 2008, 06:55:03 PM

Izzy-

You are awesome.

Changing

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Gaining Strength on May 31, 2008, 07:22:13 PM

Wow Izzy!  What a horrific sight.  39 nines years ago.  It is so shocking to see.  It is so amazing that you are here to tell about it and to show the photograph.   Is it really not an emotional reaction for you?  That is amazing.

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Izzy_*now* on May 31, 2008, 07:39:30 PM

Yes SS

No emotional reaction, likely because "I saw one picture from the driver's side where I was lifted out and blood on the rocker panels." and that pic has been in my head all these years! So this is just another view and proof that wearing a seatbelt would have killed me!

xx
Izzy

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Changes on May 31, 2008, 09:23:23 PM

Hi Izzy-

Airbags are another item that have become standard by dint of the insurance industry and car manufacturers-  also for fat large men who don't use their setbelts, and can be hazardous to small women!!! i think the hazard is major abdominal or chest trauma, or decapitation- don't remember which!!!

I wonder how car safety will be improved when gas, etc becomes more scarce and new energy sources are harnessed for transportation?

Poor Thing- to see your blood like that- no wonder it was seared in your memory. Hopefully that picture has ben replaced with an image of how fabulous you look!

Your Buddy,

Chang (ing, es, etc etc)

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Hopalong on May 31, 2008, 11:34:42 PM

Ohh Izz.

I am amazed at what beauty you've made out of wreckage.
Your life is beautiful.
Your spirit is beautiful.
Your wisdom is beautiful.
Your courage is beautiful.

That car is butt-ugly.

love
Hops

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: debkor on May 31, 2008, 11:50:45 PM

*Faints*  OMG,


I am so happy that you are here with us.  You have made a very long lasting impression on me. Your good Peeps, Iz,o. 

Love
Deb

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: lighter on June 01, 2008, 12:04:40 AM

Oh Izzy..... what a scary thing.

I'm sorry you were so alone through your life.

And sabotaged.

Injured.

Made to feel confusion about it.

You've come a long way.... to feeling secure in your own skin.

Appreciating the serenity you do have in your life.

Making peace with your daughter.... after all the years under the bridge.

It's been an honor to witness some of your journey and learn from it.

((((Izzy)))  The journey's not over yet: )

Lighter

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Leah on June 01, 2008, 07:38:57 AM

Thank you for sharing your photograph, Izzy

Serenity, yes, indeed.

Truly glad that you have a renewed relationship with your daughter.

God Bless you, who obviously loves you very much.

Love, Leah

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Overcomer on June 01, 2008, 11:18:13 AM

Wow Iz:  My parents had a car like that back when I was young.  We never had seat belts.  In fact, as young kids we would stand on the front seat next to my mom when she drove.  If she stopped suddenly her arm was the "seatbelt!"

Well, it might have taken the oomph out of your legs but not the ta-da out of your spirit!!

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: gratitude28 on June 01, 2008, 09:57:14 PM

Unbelievable that you came through and as well as you did, Iz. I guess there was a plan for you and a darned good reason for you to remain here with us :) What a sight. I just can't believe how crushed the car is. It must be odd for you to see the outside, after being so intimate with what went on inside.
Love, Beth

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 02, 2008, 04:01:59 PM

hi all who dared to look,

The wreckage is unbelievable since he survived without a scratch and I was lifted out the driver's door, broken and bleeding.

His was the worst case of road rage that I have ever witnessed/been a part of and the worst reaction I have ever had to saying "No".
He just tromped on the gas and never said another word. 120 mph at times and my asking him to slow down meant nothing. Roared past 6 cars, who clocked him, as my eyes were shut, until the car dropped off the pavement. I opened my eyes with the jerk I felt and saw the speedometer at 90 then and suddenly was saying "Gosh, Izzy, you are being in one hell of a car crash". Saying that was about how long it took to overcorrect the steering twice, roll 3x and cover 975 feet to land on its wheels.

I remember everything as I didn't lose consciousness, and having this picture solidifies the worst trauma. I am disabled and will live this way, not trying things I used to do when I was younger. Being more able in Rehab than most and assisting them when nurses wouldn't. Then riding escalators  up and down and other 'games' rather puts me in the position of making a game out of using a wheelchair and that disability wasn't so true/that bad/ whatever. Even broken bones with no pain...now I have the worst to deal with (a crooked healing makes it more real)

It has finally sunk in, with age!

Love to all
Izzy

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: lighter on June 02, 2008, 08:44:22 PM

Every time I try to write about how you must still be coming to terms with the reality and loss you've suffered..... I get it wrong.

Unfair.....

no... ::shaking head::

Terribly unfair things happen to good people all the time but.....

that the driver threw a selfish baby fit, over not getting laid, then walked away unscathed, physically and financially.... pretty much comes out near the top of the unfair list, Izzy.


lighter

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Lupita on June 03, 2008, 06:09:18 AM

Dear IZZ you are an amazing person and everybody her is proud of you.

God bless you!!!

Hope you have not left out your music talent.

Love to you.

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Hopalong on June 03, 2008, 04:53:04 PM

What does solidified trauma mean, Izz?

Do you feel worse emotional pain about it now?
If so, I am so very sorry.

That JERK.
I'm sure you said, at some point...but what became of him?

Have you ever wanted to send him this pic and a long description of your life?
Did you ever think of suing him?

Sorry, that's lame, no pun intended, but dammit, I want revenge...

xxoo
Hops

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 03, 2008, 05:58:59 PM

Thank you lighter, Lupita and Hops,

Some of you might have missed that I am okay financially! I did sue! He rented the car so it was Hertz's Insurance that had to pay.

That does not mean that revenge was exacted on him, and I'm sure if this knowledge hurt him, it's over by now! He was/is in the Army and was posted  briefly at a Base close to me. We met in a dance hall. This was a third date and he was going back to his own base the following morning. Not someone you say "Yes" to. Then was being shipped over to Germany. He had to return for every court date, every examination for discovery. I saw him. We never spoke, and he was still the stranger I met, an unknown being, and I was a stranger in a wheelchair who hadn't 'put out'.

Lois and Don invited me to find a date and go to this dance in Toronto. I wasn't dating anyone important, but asked Al, because he was handy and also leaving the next day.

Afterward, Lois and Don came up to my new apt. took my "used once" new wringer washer, promising to pay, never did, and I never heard from them again. Don and Joe (Dd's father)were school chums.

One brief look at a pic of the car didn't really sink in, so to speak, with all these unknowns etc etc, so I asked C. to send me this pic and it more or less solidified the whole episode for me. Can you see the loose ends re Al, Lois and Don, being away from D, lack of support from parents and siblings, on my own! Was it really real? Is that why I am in this chair? I also just found the newspaper clippings when I was cleaning out junk. Unacknowledged. The worst trauma of my life.

That might explain how it felt to me.

Love
Izzy

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Leah on June 03, 2008, 06:29:57 PM

Quote

Some of you might have missed that I am okay financially! I did sue! He rented the car so it was Hertz's Insurance that had to pay.

Hi Izzy,

Yes, I remember.  And I remember you showed us the picture of your lovely bungalow.

It must have been some small comfort to have been financially secure and retain your independence.  However, it is saddening to know that you were left on your own (with your young daughter).

Fortitude is a gift.

God Bless You.

Love,

Leah

Title: Re: anniversary soon--Do not look if you get queasy about a damaged car
Post by: Hopalong on June 03, 2008, 09:17:02 PM

Yes, that's why.
And
it's
the
ONLY
reason...

A jerk
An accident
A random mix

A new trajectory.

I am so glad you have your D back in your life.

love muchly,
Hops