Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on June 01, 2008, 11:45:35 AM
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We moved into our new house in October. We knew it needed new siding so in January we got financing and started the process. Even during the cold months they did the siding. Then a little while later we had a guy come out and put some stone on the front of our house. Then a little while later when it was finally warm enough we had the painters come to complete the job. The next door neighbor came over to "complain" about my autistic daughter and asked me "when are you going to be done with all this?" I didn't think anything of it until my other d had a swimming party last Friday. We had about 30 teenagers over and they parked all the way up the street. So this neighbor comes over and says "I didn't complain for the two months you were doing your construction over here but will you tell those kids to not park across the street from my driveway?" So I said to her, "Why didn't you say anything if the workers parked where you didn't want them to?" And she said she HAD told them to move. So I called my h and told him what she had said (by the way I had to keep going out there and have every NEW kid that came over not park across from her driveway - thereby ruining my time by the pool.....) he got mad and printed out the parking regulations for our town. He started drinking and was ranting and raving about public right of way and how we are totally within our right to park there. If she had a problem she needed to go to the zoning committee and take it up with them.....
Oh no!! I have one of those kind of neighbors!!!!!
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((((((((((((Kelly))))))))))))
I am sorry! Love Ami
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Oh, Kell....
You're going to have to learn to detach from her nutseyness.
Getting your husband involved doesn't seem to help either, Im afraid.
I suppose you could write a letter and explain that you would appreciate it if she wouldn't come onto your property again.
It doesn't sound like she's going to be reasonable and you don't need that near your home and chidlren.
I'd send it return receipt and keep a copy so you've documented, in case this continues to escalate.
You might consider purchasing some of those little dayglow orange cones, found at sporting goods stores.... to lay out no parking spots in the future.
I hate it that you missed most of the party.....
you can figure this out.
Accept that your neighbor's "one of those," be proactive where you can then go back to enjoying your life.
Lighter
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I think that is funny LIghter.....I will buy those bright orange cones and stencil......................NEIGHBOR DOES NOT WANT YOU TO PARK HERE..............on the side. Then whenever we have ANYTHING I will place them out there. Problem is the lady is a former attorney. She is about 5 foot tall and 100 pounds and I swear every time she comes over I think I smell alcohol on her breath. I also think her house smells of smoke. Apparently she has put her house on the market every summer for the past five or so and then takes it off the market when school starts. They never sell it because it smells of smoke and needs a paint job (it is a light blue......yucky washed out color.....) Our new siding, paint and stone looks much nicer! :lol:
Anyway, oh well, she seems ok but when she said............"I tolerated it while you had construction going for two months!" I thought, I HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING! MOST PEOPLE WOULD BE HAPPY THE NEIGHBOR IS ENHANCING THE LOOK OF THEIR HOUSE TO IMPROVE THE OVERALL LOOK OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD!
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Complaining about your autistic daughter.....
complaining about your renovations.....
complaining about the parking (though I understand that one....)
it's not about one thing.
I wouldn't dismiss it, I'd resolve what I could and try to limit future conflicts.
Sounds like there may be more.
Lighter
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Hi Overcomer-
Sorry that you are having to deal with this seemingly constant assault- the neighbor may be one reason why the former owners left!
I think that Lighter may be spot on- I had a neighbor who seemed so alone. I would bring her things that I had baked, etc. She was a former schoolteacher and was always complaining about some teenagers who were orphaned and staying in their home nearby. I admired their industry and maturity and cared for them a great deal, but the neighbor was constantly at them and cruelly criticizing their dead mother, etc. I went into her kitchen (her house was smoky as well) once and the entire large trash can was filled with empty vodka bottles- big ones!!!!
If you can somehow make peace with this lady, it may save you a great deal of future pain.
Love,
Changes
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Hi OC,
I'm not assuming that you are in a one size fits all situation, but this is what worked for me when my kids were teenagers and had parties. I would go to the neighbors a day or so ahead of time and tell them that my daughter was going to have a party, the date, and approximately how long they could expect to hear them having 'loud' fun with the music and everything. They seemed to appreciate it that I gave them notice and we never had a complaint afterwards. Just a thought.
tt
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A great thought at that!! I think I will try it. The people on the other side seem to be sweethearts and actually this woman is not all bad. But then again, she got some of our mail and walked into the house and put it on my table. Not on the table in the entry....clear into the dining room. Well, I am going to try to keep peace so we do not start a war!!
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Hi OC,
Now that thing of getting my mail and coming into my house would bother me a lot. I wouldn't know of a way to approach her on it except to ask her not to pick up my mail. Or maybe put a second mailbox on the front of the house and ask her to drop it into the second box. I'm an introvert. Introverts don't like drop in anything. So perhaps it would be more irritating for me than others. Blessed are the peacemakers!
tt
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What a pain. She sounds like a royal PITA. Sorry, kiddo. Hang in there and fight the good fight.
Love, Beth
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Well we have this big mailbox up the street-they put our mail in her plot so at least she did not take it out of my mailbox. I think she wanted to see what the house looked like and we had some workers in and out that day so I guess she felt obliged to come on in! Can you imagine being upset because we were having work done on the house?
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Maybe, Kelly, bring them over a cake or do s/thing totally the opposite of what they are doing to you. Sometimes love can throw a monkey wrench to "evil".
I can't do it all the time. S/times I just want to get "back" at people, but 'love never fails". It is very hard,Kelly. I know that is the LAST thing you need. My heart goes out to you. Love Ami
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Maybe, your neighbours are struggling - you have described their house as being in need of painting etc., and they have unsuccessfully tried to sell - and so, she/he are jealous of you being able to do that which they cannot? Also, I am always mindfull that we never know what goes on behind closed doors -- who knows what her life is like behind those closed doors.
No excuse for her behavior, however, could be, why?
Glad your home is looking lovely, enjoy, with your family. The swimming pool party sounds such fun.
How is your expectant daughter? I hope she (and her lovely hubby) is enjoying her pregnancy. You have so much to look forward to (((( Kelly )))).
Love, Leah
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Kell,
I have a neighbor next door who can be a pain. I'm painting my shed and they tried to suggest what color and how to do it. Nice but Pushy. So yesterday I told them I decided that I'm doing it Neon Orange so I can see it easier at night with the spot lights I'm going to put on it. I'm not but I said it like I meant it and they are not sure if I was kidding. They did that laugh waiting for me to laugh and I didn't. Now I think they are sweating bullets (lol).
Love
Deb
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Can you imagine being upset because we were having work done on the house?
That she complained about your autistic dd was the larger red flag, IMO.
This neighbor sounds like the type who'll find a reason to complain.... if it takes a reason to complain.
Steer clear, civil and calm.
Keep your boundaries up and don't let her trample them.
Not once.
She'll find someone else to bother.
Lighter
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I have a PITA neighbor I've disarmed with affection and humor, and it only took 40 years. :lol:
When Gardener and I were building the first raised bed in the (gasp!) FRONT yard (next to her immaculately groomed lawn) ... she drove in and in her brassy drawl said, Hops what are you doing?
Hi Betty! We're building a chicken coop! said I...
She still cares about me, and vice versa. And her husband died last weekend. My dad's former doctor...and my first babysitting client, when I was 11.
She was so good to my parents when I still lived away. A retired nurse...she'd be in the house checking on them if their lights weren't going on and off at the right intervals, and at one point when they were both laid up (dad with cancer, mom with a fractured vertebrae) she brought them breakfast upstairs on a tray for a week straight.
So nosy Betty can do whatever she wants. I'll ignore her when she bugs me, but her heart's good.
xo
Hops
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We had an eccentric neighbor at the old house. No problem. Just goofy. The lady came over and asked my h to change a lightbulb for her. Like I said, she is soooo short and my h is 6' 6"...........so I told him I would try to understand her and not make her mad over stupid stuff...........but if she still continues the parking stuff we may have to call her on it....
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Maybe just quietly going out with the parking cones whenever there's going to be a gathering and setting them to protect her space would do it?
That way, she just sees your consideration and nobody's scoring any verbal points...
Hops
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Hi OC,
Or you could throw caution to the wind, piss her off royally and YouTube her!
I :lol: think :lol: I'm just kidding!
tt
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Oh tt.... I laugh so seldom lately.
Thanks for that: )
Lighter
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lighter,
I must sound paranoid, but I think we tend to forget that there are cameras everywhere now. I shrink at the thought of how many hissy fits caught on WalMart, Lowes, Home Depot cameras alone. Oh, and add McDonalds.
Anyway, you're welcome. Glad you got a charge out of my naughtiness!
tt
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It's funny, lol.... and your phrasing maximized the funny.
Lighter