Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on June 10, 2008, 10:39:57 PM
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Not big things.... but medium or small sized things... in the scheme of things:
1) Hefting my butt over a tall obstabcle course wall, while a bunch of male police officers looked on, pretty sure I couldn't do it.
(Ok... the strong guys hit it fast and flew over... my way took a few teeth gritting seconds, but... I did it)
2) Embraced motherhood and breast feeding while blocking out all icky outside filters.
One good thing about being an introvert... I'm not overtly bothered or aware of my surroundings, typically.
3) Learned to face uncertainty and fear with self assurance and dignity. I couldn't live with other choices, frankly.
I'd enjoy reading other board members moments... when their pride shined through, in a positve light.
Lighter
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1) I finally learned to stand my ground and stop running away in the face of fear.
2) Same as you, Lighter... and I like how you put it... embracing motherhood and breastfeeding in the face of lots of icky outside forces
3) I brought home a 15' round swimming pool and convinced teeny girl to help me put it together... and we did it! Just the two-'uns of us :)
Thanks, Lighter. Great thread!
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Having babies and bf was the most special experience of my life.
I never understood it... or examined it.... before I wasn in the middle of it.... and researching like mad.
I think some of us were just born to be parents..... and didn't even know it.
Lighter: )
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1) Enduring
2) Producing 2 loving children
3) Being so proud of my daughter when she co-starred in a play. I just about broke down when they took their bows.
Dandylife
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"producing 2 lovely children"
That's a BIG thing, dandylife: )
Lighter
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1) Mastering the use of one of the best kitchen tools, my kitchen scissors.
2) Conscientious defensive driving. I'm a very good driver.
3) Acknowledging that as I age, my reflexes will slow down and I won't be able to brag about #2. Knowing already that when the time comes, I will for the sake of others leave the driving to someone else.
tt
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Sounds like you have acceptance down pretty well, tt: )
Lighter
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1. Coming out of the closet about my smoking and giving up what others think in my struggle to quit.
2. Giving up being a fashion monger; clothing and fashion used to consume a great deal of my thoughts and finances (my sister used to complain that I was materialistic). Now....as long as it is clean and covers. My giving up materialism is something I am very proud of.
3. Overcoming my fears of what others may think of my poor grammar to risk sharing myself here.
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lighter,
On some things yes. The most significant part of my 'career' was owning and operating assisted living residences. That was a huge influence on me to do serious self talk about how things would be as I aged. I made decisions about a lot of it when I was still young and frisky. I continued the self talk. Now, though I know nothing can replace youthfulness and great health, I don't resent or resist the inevitable, the aging process. I feel blessed where that is concerned, but the self talk was absolutely necessary to get there.
tt
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I'm trying very hard to internalize some messages I need right now.
Thanks for your timely reminder....
to self talk: )
Lighter
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small things:
giving myself permission to visit my mother less often
changing the locks on the house
asking a much-younger man if he'd like to be intimate...releasing the outcome
(Don't have 1-square-foot practical ones. I can do the interpersonal stuff that takes bravery more easily than I can do the inner-personal stuff.)
ugh.
Hops
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Hops.... I remember how difficult it was for you to change the locks.
Brava on setting boundaries, overcoming fear and choosing yourself.
Lighter
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1. Starting a garden on the other side of my house and plants not dropping dead this time, well maybe one did.
2. Moving brick changing patio and keeping a straight line by myself.
3 my son picking up grades and fighting his way to make it through the year to the next, older son in school, full time job, his
own apt and handling responsibilities like a champ, D having a good head on her shoulders planning for future paying her own
bills, working p/t and full time because she wants to have a savings.. or clothes.. or vacation.. or discounts on clothing..
Love
Deb
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Although I have never had any recognition, I know for sure I have prodeuced inspiration in many students.
I have raised a very nice young man who just graduated for music he is devoted to Christ and he is a very ver very nice honest person.
Those are big huge things.
Small things, I survive despite my personality and life problems. And I am still standing despite all the discrimnation I have suffered and despite all the ignorance I have about human beings and despite all the "dislexia" I have for human behavior. Despite I do not understand what is going on in my sorroundings I am still standing.
That is not small. I guess I do not have any single small thing.
Thank you for this thread Lighter.
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Deb... I remember when I was able to concentrate on my little home, for the first time.
I went and picked up rocks from a worksite.... choosing and carrying them to my truck.
(Built a mailbox and many flowerbeds with them.)
I had the time and focus to appreciate each one, how they fit together.
I ordered 2 truckloads of dirt, and used my bum to sort it out.
Selecting plants and visiting expensive nurseries for ideas.... then implementing them on a very tight budget....
some very happy times, indeed.
Lighter
PS... I also dug my truck off the top of a pile of sand when I got it stuck, gathering rocks. A nice man stopped to help but I was up under there shoveling and would have done it all by me onesy, had he not stopped.
Your shared projects sound like walking meditation.
Congrats to your children for finding their own strengths.... they've had a very good model from which to learn: )
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You're so welcome, Lupita.
I've been reading blogs and info on how INFP's process and deal with the world, stress, other people.
It's helped so much and I'm curiouse if you've taken the Meyer's Briggs Personality test?
None are right or wrong but they certainly help us understand ourselves better, why we feel dyslexic about interacting with others, etc.
I've been laughing and laughing, reading blogs that remind me of myself and that's such a relief.
And.... you've come so far and done so well.
Counting our blessings and learning from our struggles is all part of it.
Lighter
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I am proud of my pets- they are the sweetest imaginable!
I am proud of my little prayer ladies- they are truly the salt of the earth- they make everything good and truly show love.
I am proud of my wonderful friends and advisors doing so many things to turn troubles into triumphs- this is what makes life a victory!
Love,
Changing
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Hear! Hear! Changing: )
To our pets/companions...
those who share our spiritual journey....
and those who help us turn our troubles into triumphs.
Yes.
Lighter
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Lighter, you are truly one in the category of friends and advisors, actually both a grand friend and savvy advisor.
Bless You,
Changing
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1. My kids REALLY like AND love me - my pregnant daugher wants ME in the delivery room.
2. I am geniunely a nice person.........not phoney at all!!
3. My mother finally does not control me and I do NOT feel guilty about it (angry that she continues to try but anger is better than guilt!)
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Overcomer-
That is the ultimate show of trust- the delivery room!!!
Sounds wonderful and life-changing!!!
Love,
Changing
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Yep, even to this day if my 21 year old daughter is sick she comes and lays on me. She says something like, "mommy, rub me...." I always rubbed my daughter's back or arm softly to help them calm and sleep.....she knows when she is laying there with her feet in the stir ups and she is uncomfortable, I will rub her arm and face and tell her she is going to be OK!!
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Hi Overcomer-
That is truly beautiful- and now another sweet baby to cuddle!!!
Are you taking courses to prepare for the birth?
Love,
Changing
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Oh OC....
I want that same relationship with my daughters.
::wiping eyes::
Lighter
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Can you imagine? I basically cannot stand my mom. My kids love me. Like I say, I have always had the pendulum swing the complete other way.....I am a bit perturbed by her today, however, she whacked the back of my hair off so I will have to deal with it for a month or so!! :(
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Heavens OC
Did you trust her around you with scissors? or was it a rusty spoon?
Your mother whacked off your hair?
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I think her daughter whacked her hair off?
But was trying to make a good job of it, that went whonkey?
Lighter
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No, my 21 year old daughter in beauty school. I wanted one of those haircuts where the back was shorter than the front............well, I got a boy cut in the back!!
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Oh
I was fearing for your safety, but with daughter, then I fear for hers :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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I recently created an Overflow closet to store perfectly good things that I won't use but others may. Things I used to routinely throw out. These are not crummy things that no one will use, but good stuff that I won't use. This was a really good feel good moment for me.
tt
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What a great idea.
Putting like things with like.
Things that you don't use, but can lay your hands on quickly, if need arises.
I like it.
Lighter
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Hi lighter,
Kind of like that.
A for instance is that this summer my little church has organized an outreach to lifeguards in this and the adjoining county. We will distribute lip balm and sunscreen to them. Some are from other countries. My understanding is that for some of them, it is a way to see America, but with little pay and make do accommodations. So if I have extra sealed containers of lip balm or sunscreen that I won't use, then, I know someone who will.
tt