Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Oops on June 11, 2008, 08:56:43 PM

Title: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Oops on June 11, 2008, 08:56:43 PM: Sorry to delete but this is too overwhelming for me right now, I'm too new to this and can't deal with this....

Oops
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 11, 2008, 09:19:08 PM: Here stands the real " Voice of Reason "

I genuinely respect your courage of conviction, Oops

to speak 'The Truth.

Respectfully yours,

Love, Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: nogadge on June 12, 2008, 01:50:43 AM: Another breath of fresh air. Nice to see good words wisdom being shared. Welcome OOPS. Nogadge
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: darren on June 12, 2008, 09:36:05 AM: I agree... I always though "healing" sites should be about healing and provide a safe therapy like environment. I wouldn't share my pain or experiences here in its current state as it all seems quite hostile and dangerous. It seems dysfunctional, like my home life. I'm not able to post happy stories of recovery and healing, but I enjoyed this place better when I saw people who did. It gave me inspiration, it reminded me where I needed to be headed, and it gave me a goal.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 12, 2008, 09:39:05 AM: I agree with you wholeheartedly, Darren

as is my experience and thoughts of membership here on what I thought was to be a Healing board

for Voicelessness and Emotional Survival.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Lupita on June 12, 2008, 09:49:06 AM: The only important opinion of our own opinion of our selves!
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: nogadge on June 15, 2008, 12:53:33 AM: Thank you for caring. Nogadge
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 06:53:36 AM: What CONFLICT really is all about! Yes, STOP IT ALREADY lest we destroy one another. Love to ALL Leah x

Conflict is a state of opposition, disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups of people.

Conflict as taught for graduate and professional work in conflict resolution commonly has the definition: “when two or more parties, with perceived incompatible goals, seek to undermine each other’s goal-seeking capability”.

One should not confuse the distinction between the presence and absence of conflict with the difference between competition and co-operation.

In competitive situations, the two or more parties each have mutually inconsistent goals, so that when either party tries to reach their goal it will undermine the attempts of the other to reach theirs. Therefore, competitive situations will by their nature cause conflict.

However, conflict can also occur in cooperative situations, in which two or more parties have consistent goals, because the manner in which one party tries to reach their goal can still undermine the other.

A clash of interests, values, actions or directions often sparks a conflict.

Conflicts refer to the existence of that clash.

Psychologically, a conflict exists when the reduction of one motivating stimulus involves an increase in another, so that a new adjustment is demanded. The word is applicable from the instant that the clash occurs. Even when we say that there is a potential conflict we are implying that there is already a conflict of direction even though a clash may not yet have occurred.

Stress and conflict are a normal part of life, and healthy behaviour involves the ability to cope and adapt.

Psychologists make a distinction between -- behaviour that successfully defends and copes -- and behaviour that fails to adapt and resolve conflict.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 02:00:57 PM: Dear Oops: Oh, I remember something like this back in 2004. I was a Newbie. I logged on and there was a squirmish similar to this only the players were different. I think I posted something like, HEY YOU GUYS, COME ON!! STOP THIS INSANITY.......

Well, they pretty much ignored me, the fight continued and several people stormed off.

This is a dynamic I have seen rear it's ugly head several times on the board over the years. Unfortunately it is easier to fight with someone when you do not have to look at them face to face............anonymity helps with assertiveness. Why do you think drivers engage in road rage? I doubt if they would do it in the mall walking......

So even though I agree with you, STOP IT!! It probably won't happen..............
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 02:12:13 PM: Why do you think drivers engage in road rage? I doubt if they would do it in the mall walking......

Gosh, Kelly

Because I feel that with your open honesty - you have expressed, I think, and actually, I do feel -- the key to the issue of concern.

Personally, all told, I only have 12 months worth of active experience here on the board.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 02:15:09 PM: Leah: Are you saying that you agree with me? That it is the fact that we REALLY do not know each other so it makes it easier to say what we want to say??
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 02:19:44 PM: Hi Kelly,

What I am agreeing with is that this place is evidently used sometimes, by those of whom in all honesty, would not get away with speaking to, or treating someone, as they do.

Legalities and none.

Personally, I have forgiven myself for being naive.

Love,

Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 02:24:10 PM: Yes, you are right. And sometimes when people get involved in road rage, it comes back to haunt them. There was a time in Omaha when a couple of drivers were playing cat and dog up L street. One honked. The other flipped off. In and out of traffic. So they get to a stoplight and the one gets out of his car, goes over to the other one and shoots him dead. Obviously THAT got out of control. We must be careful how much annimosity builds here. You know? I would bet that if the people who hate each other here on the board met each other in real life and used their real names and didn't realize they were the same people, they would get along fine in 3D land!
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 02:27:15 PM: Well, Kelly, personally speaking, I don't have any animosity here, instead, I feel sad to see it, and experience it.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 15, 2008, 02:29:16 PM: hi Leah,

I'm not sure I understood your short response.
Love
Izzy

Quote from: LeahsRainbow on June 15, 2008, 02:19:44 PM

Hi Kelly,

What I am agreeing with is that this place is evidently used sometimes, by those of whom in all honesty, would not get away with speaking to, or treating someone, as they do their acquaintances in real life ?????????????

Legalities and none. Meaning?????? Law suits or none??????

love,

Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 02:36:32 PM: Well over here Road Rage and People Rage is an offence, hence legalities.

Thinking of what Kelly shared about the man getting out and shooting the guy -- and over the pond here at the moment we have the shock of the man killed in a Rage in a supermarket queue.

Please Izzy, don't read anything into what I say, eh?

I write only what I am saying, as I mentioned the other day.

Thanks ever so much.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 15, 2008, 02:49:55 PM: Thanks Leah,

I wasn't reading anything into your posts, permanently. I was asking for clarification for self.

Now I understand and I also have fun understanding boot/trunk, bonnet /hood etc. and am still quite innocent of some terms used in a British Film. I just watched "Keeping Mum". British mystery novels I can spot by the style of the book, before even checking the font inside.

Some things are just different and I want to understand.
sincerely
Izzy
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 02:53:16 PM: Yes, it is fun reading posts by those in the UK. You guys use words in different ways and also spell thinks differently as well. My dad is full blood English so I am very interested in you all....
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 03:03:41 PM: Quote from: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 02:53:16 PM
Yes, it is fun reading posts by those in the UK. You guys use words in different ways and also spell thinks differently as well. My dad is full blood English so I am very interested in you all....

Thanks Kelly,

I try my best to remember to run spellcheck each time I post so that my spelling is US, and not UK. Our punctuation is different too. US use -- UK only one - between -- words in sentences.

Oh, your dad is full blood English, bless. As for my dad. before he met my mother, he went over to US to live and work, but, for some reason he did not settle and remain. Funny old world I think.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 03:05:18 PM: His mother's maiden name was Popplewell. English, I believe....
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 03:11:33 PM: Oh, righty oh, Izzy

Yes, says I chuckling, boot/trunk and bonnet/hood ... I do know what you mean. And I can well understand what you mean by British mystery novels.

I so enjoyed watching Police Squad with Leslie Nielsen a few years ago -- with his brilliant and funny send up of words and meaning -- laughed so much.

Love, Leah
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Leah on June 15, 2008, 03:13:07 PM: Hi Kelly,

It is English = I have some Ancestry software and looked up Popplewell for you:

English (West Yorkshire): habitational name from any of several places so named in West Yorkshire, for example in the parish of Cleckheaton. The second element is Old English well(a) ‘spring’, ‘stream’; the first may be popel ‘pebble’, or a word meaning ‘bubbling spring’.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 08:40:54 PM: Cool...........we are going to a family reunion..............of course the pure bred English has been "tainted" with lots of other ancestary............my mom is more a Heinz 57 mixed bag..............but my dad, like I said pure English.............I want to go visit Europe as soon as I can afford to...it will be interesting to meet all my cousins.......

I wonder..........do English people tend to have dark brown hair and blue eyes and be very tall???
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Ami on June 15, 2008, 08:44:51 PM: Wow
That sounds neat, Kelly! Ami
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 09:45:49 PM: Off to New Jersey with a day trip to Manhatten.............wish my mom was not going. I would love to go on the Sex and the City tour........
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Ami on June 15, 2008, 09:52:35 PM: Did you watch Sex in the City, Kelly?
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 10:55:09 PM: Yes all six seasons and the movie! I am hooked!
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Ami on June 15, 2008, 11:04:30 PM: I only saw a few episodes, but I could see how you would get hooked. They were very funny and real about emotions. Do you agree, Kelly?
Did you ever see the Sporano's? Ami
Title: Sad to see
Post by: Leah on June 16, 2008, 06:14:12 AM: Hi folks,

I have just noticed, with sadness, that our new member, who created this thread topic - has ceased membership and left the board - yesterday.

If you do read this message, dear Oops

I sincerely wish you everything you hope for in your precious heart and life.

Love, Leah

PS. I have just read the Member's Story board message, and it is truly heartrending to read.
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: Overcomer on June 16, 2008, 07:33:09 AM: oops if you check back.......first of all, sorry about hijacking your thread and also sorry that the board felt too overwhelming to you........it happens from time to time but I have to admit it is upsetting..................

Hope you will try us again//////////Kelly
Title: Re: STOP IT ALREADY!
Post by: nogadge on June 16, 2008, 11:42:29 AM: I don't blame oops.....nogadge