Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 08:51:19 PM

Title: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 08:51:19 PM
When we hired my aunt we put her through much training.  After she was trained we would gently tell her when she made a mistake.  Hey, when ringing up a customer you need to not forget to get their phone number.........but but but, I always get a phone number and why are you being so mean and everyone makes mistakes.

You know?  Just remember to get the phone number next time............no need to be defensive.................this was not a personal afront...........just reminding you to get a phone number........

Here on the board.  When someone calls someone on something I see a whole lot of defensiveness.  On the other hand, I also see people calling people on stuff without saying WHO did the stuff - thus Dr. G's rule to identify who you are talking to.

It would be so refreshing to hear someone say, "Hey, did I come across that way?  I did not mean to come across that way......let me rephrase what I was trying to say....rather than.................I AM NOW DRAWING A BOUNDARY WITH YOU!!! Or YOU ARE TRYING TO BULLY ME!! OR WHATEVER.........

Guys.......am I coming across as a "know-it-all?"  Tell me.  I will try to rephrase what I am saying........I can take a direct retort.....I won't get mad.  I won't get defensive.

No one in particular just everyone right now............
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: lighter on June 15, 2008, 08:55:49 PM
You made me laugh so....

I guess you're still coming accross as Mike Luckovitch. '

The nerve!

hee

Lighter
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: Overcomer on June 15, 2008, 09:09:50 PM
Yeah, maybe I am funny................. :lol:  But I mean it.  People cry way too much in life.  Live and let live!!  Laugh at yourself!!  It is NOT that serious!
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 15, 2008, 10:04:46 PM
nope OC

--well understood and am in agreement
I know what you are saying.

Some posts are not labeled to whom, and can land 'out of order' on the thread and in one case the poster before a "defensive attack" was not the person.  The "defensive attack" was meant for the person TWO posts above. It definitely caused a misunderstanding.

Iz
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: changing on June 16, 2008, 02:19:55 AM
When things get confused as Izzy mentions, the posts erupt into Travis Bickle impressions: "You talkin' ta me? You talkin' ta me? You must be, because ther's no one else here...!!!!"

C.
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: Overcomer on June 16, 2008, 07:36:07 AM
Yep and all the defensiveness and inuendo sent Lollie and Oops packing......
Title: Re: Defensiveness-an irritant to me
Post by: Leah on June 16, 2008, 07:39:29 AM


Recalling the clarity of postings on the "Healthy Community" thread, and elsewhere, I do think it was to due to the ongoing current and flow of " Relational Aggression "   here.

Leah x