Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on June 17, 2008, 05:47:22 PM
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I posted not long ago that my N-SIL yelled at me once, "I talk. You listen!"
He was talking to me about something in firefighting (He is a firefighter) and he used a word that I had never heard before, so I excused myself to interupt to ask him what it meant. THAT is when he yelled at me.
THAT is what I call Active Listening, what *I* did to keep in tune and understand the conversation.
Perhaps there are instances whereby we do not understand what someone has posted to us, so we ask for clarification. I'll refer to that as Active Reading! I have seen that time and time again, but.....
There is a recent post whereby I misunderstood bean, and was 'attacked' by SS, immediately, to which Gabben agreed.
............then bean asked me to clarify, which I did and apologized for my misunderstanding of his post, and I see two unnecessary 'fight-prodding' posts to me in between.
There is a word that some ought to think of.....
PATIENCE...... it is more of a virtue than some are exhibiting.
Izzy
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Hi Izzy,
PATIENCE...... it is more of a virtue than some are exhibiting.
I do so agree, often times, all one needs, oneself, is a little time spared, for the purpose of clarification and discussion, one to another, alas, that seldom occurs.
How different things could be, is my heartfelt sentiment, and thoughts.
By the way, I like the firefighter's "I talk. You Listen."
In life, I do think that it's the Listening Skills that really do make all the difference.
Thank you for the opportunity to share.
Love, Leah
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Thanks Leah, but
By the way, I like the firefighter's "I talk. You Listen." is a contol freaking N speaking to shut me up.
The following is the point of Active Listening:
He was talking to me about something in firefighting (He is a firefighter) and he used a word that I had never heard before, so I excused myself to interrupt to ask him what it meant. THAT is when he yelled at me.
THAT is what I call Active Listening, what *I* did to keep in tune and understand the conversation.
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Hi Izzy,
I ascertained that the firefighter was as you have just expounded, and also, thinking about it now, I do recall you mentioning the incident in your posting a week or so ago.
By the way, I like the firefighter's " I talk. You Listen " -- was meant with a tone of 'what a nerve!'
Love, Leah
PATIENCE...... it is more of a virtue than some are exhibiting
Do you think that today, what with the rat race and pace of life - that people don't have time to listen anymore? This is something that I have wondered about, in contemplation pondering mode.
Everywhere one goes, everyone is rushed off their feet and so busy, well, in the city they are, when I venture in!
Leah x
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hi Leah,
Listening is an art, as is the reading and understanding of our posts.
I just made an erroneous assumption on bean's thread, "Had Enough", but she and I straightened it out, yet not before SS and Gabben chewed me out.
Their posts were unnecessary. They needed patience for bean to ask me to clarify!
Izzy
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Hi Izzy,
Listening is an art, as is the reading and understanding of our posts.
Exactly, I agree, and believe in asking questions first - for clarification.
And not jumping in impatiently, seemingly, going for the jugular! :) as is oft to happen in life.
Listening Skills and sparing the time to care.
Bliss.
Love,
Leah
Active Reading
S
K
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They needed patience for bean to ask me to clarify!
You mean to say that we needed to read beans mind and your mind to know that you and bean were going to resolve it?
Basically...you are just upset that we were using our voices to express our feelings in response to your post...we are not mind-readers and telling us to get patence is shaming as well as a form of superiority to coverup your inferiority.
If I had done something wrong, Izzy...I would apologize to you. But, I did not do anything wrong, I was just expressing myself, and, not to attack, but in response to your attack.
Lise
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Patience and Faith in others