Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Ami on June 18, 2008, 07:01:06 AM
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James and Papillion (and others) brought Alice Miller to the board.
I am so thankful. I have only just begun to mine the wisdom of Alice Miller. It would take a lifetime.
She says you must feel your rage for your parents, in order to heal.
I ,NEVER,could feel the rage toward my M b/c I had to take care of her needs and I felt sorry for her.
However, as I was trying to say on "My Voice" thread is that when we ,on the board feel trememndous anger towards a board member, a voice on the computer, it IS an anger from our past.That anger is not from the present, a person we don't even KNOW, in the computer.
I, took that concept and applied MY killer anger toward my M. It WAS my M I was angry at b/c I wanted to smash her leeing face with a rock. I did not want to shoot her , but kill her by banging a rock against her head, wiping that smirk off her mocking face, once and for all. Then, after she died, I wanted to resurrect her, and do it over and over ,again.I felt primal rage.
Today, after feeling that anger, I DO feel more whole, more able to defend myself, more empowered, stronger.
Thank you ,James. You Rock, Kid. Love Ami
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She says you must feel your rage for your parents, in order to heal.
I ,NEVER,could feel the rage toward my M b/c I had to take care of her needs and I felt sorry for her.
However, as I was trying to say on "My Voice" thread is that when we ,on the board feel trememndous anger towards a board member, a voice on the computer, it IS an anger from our past.That anger is not from the present, a person we don't even KNOW, in the computer.
Dear Ami,
This is good healing stuff here. As I told you before that Alice Miller's work has touched me and helped me much through out the years in my journey to find my authentic voice.
There is a rule in life called the 10/90 percent rule which says that our emotions are usually out of proportion to reality. This has been true for me.
I have come to learn that the more I heal that old anger and the raw pain under it, by just staying with the feelings, the less reactive I become as well as my shaming and critical internalized parent voice quiets the more I work to release my old stuffed pain.
Anger is just a defense to protect ourselves from the hurt and wrong of others.
Sometimes, our anger is justified.
Anger is not bullying...sometimes it is just truth at injustice.
Lise