Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Hopalong on June 18, 2008, 09:11:12 PM

Title: big realization
Post by: Hopalong on June 18, 2008, 09:11:12 PM

I have not been dealing with the necessary paperwork and have let things pile up to a crisis point (AGAIN) because:

I
am
trying
to
prove
my
brother
was
correct
about
me

(and my mother)

UGH
AAACCK

Shake and shudder.

Hops

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Certain Hope on June 18, 2008, 09:32:04 PM

 :o

but why?

Hops, what is the dynamic behind all that and what purpose does it serve?

Ack!  I want to get it, but I don't.

Is it like being type-cast?

((((((((((Hops)))))))))))  whatever it is, I know you can overcome it!!

Love,
Carolyn

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 18, 2008, 09:33:52 PM

Aww Hops

You mean you are trying to prove him right?

Love
Iz

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Ami on June 19, 2008, 07:53:58 AM

I get it ,Hops. We DO try to "fufil" childhood expectations of ourselves .
So many "motivations" are unconscious. I respect you for sharing that, Hops.
Bringing s/thing up to the light of day is the first step in letting it go. Here is to "letting it go".   Blessings ,Hops    Ami

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Gaining Strength on June 19, 2008, 09:52:50 AM

BINGO!!!!!

I can do for others the things I cannot do for myself - why?
proving my parents were right - keeping the dynamic in tack until it can get worked out  correctly
doing the same thing over and over and over waiting for THEIR reaction to change

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Hopalong on June 19, 2008, 01:03:52 PM

Hi Carolyn, Izz...

It's been unconscious self-sabotage. Feeling paralysed and knowing that it will undermind me not to act, but not acting anyway. Making the whole situation worse.

SS, Ami,
Yup.

Horrible sensation. Broke through enough this morning to stem some drastic problems, but a mountain (a bigger, neglected mountain) awaits.

Even a small breakthrough helps. Now that this is conscious it will be more difficult to avoid.

Thanks, love,
Hops

Title: Re: big realization
Post by: Certain Hope on June 19, 2008, 01:08:00 PM

Thanks, Hops.

What is the best way to encourage you through this then... without creating further resistance?

Been thinking on this since you posted and I think my deal is more one of obstinance... which may or may not be the same root of self-sabotage.

Love,
Carolyn