Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on June 19, 2008, 07:24:22 PM
-
I had to gas up the car, needed oil, air in my front tires and a wash. As I was driving I noticed this is a first for my gluteus maximus to cooperate with my using my right foot on the accelerator. You know? The car is an equalizer. No one else on the streets would know that just before today, my foot would slide off the gas and I immediately switched to hand controlled accelerator until I had a chance to manually place my foot back there. I have been driving for 38 years with hand controls (please no jinx) and never had an accident.
Today is a first for being seated and putting the chair in, and taking it out of, the car. I wasn’t even tired when I came home after being 2 places so it was in and out 3 times.
Today I accepted my leg as is and if it isn’t quite straight when the year is up, in September, I will just call it a ‘battle scar’ as I have dome with the other scars. I think that came with knowing no one is perfect and I was just at the doctor’s with that cute resident.
I came home with 3 bags of groceries and a 12 pk of water. While in the store I had to ask for help twice and each time the woman (different each time) was very nice. When it comes to packing my purchases, I like to pack my own, but sometimes a new cashier will call for a packer. All I had a chance to say was that all the meat went in ‘this bag’ (I bring my own) and that is the second time I have been taken literally, as there was still space for other things and made for an extra bag. I asked him to escort me to the car and out there we played ‘swap the groceries‘. Then I knew I could bring everything upstairs on my own. Only one trip allowed.
I put the food away, then took 2 green bags of garbage down to the dumpster, one household, and one full of throwaways from my izzifying [ oh! where is Changing?] clean up. Only one trip allowed.
Just being made up, hair styled, and clothes that were coordinated was part of a great day out and a smile all the while.
I watched ‘Charlotte’s Web’ last night on line and all the animals were so friendly in spite of their differences so I really enjoyed the show......................................and thought of us.
Best
Izzy
-
Izzy,
Your post was delightful!
In case I havent told you lately--you make my day!
Love you
CB
-
T.S. Eliot (1888–1965). Prufrock and Other Observations. 1917.
Ahhh..... Izzy: )
I resonate with your mood and feeling of accomplishment.
Took the girls to get their hair done today, as a matter of fact....
toes and fingernails too.
Grocery shopped.... found the quinio after I gave up.
I iced down the crunchy tart cherries in season now.... always have them every season, iced.
The freshest ripest peaches I've had the pleasure of smelling in a long while, and.....
::providing poem, cause it seems appropriate somehow::
I hear you speak of living in the moment, Izzy..... and being mindful of the time you have to spend on this earth.
This poem is for everyone here.... who thinks of daring, trying, twirling in their garden.....
or not.
1. The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.
LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.
The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.
And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.
And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.
For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?
And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…
I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.
And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”
And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.
I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me. 125
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.
-
Hi Iz,
The description of your good day, made my day good too..
tt
-
:) Feeling better myself, too. Reading your account of the day along with a slice of decorated cheese pizza provided a welcome moment of pure relaxation, Iz.
Thanks!
Carolyn
-
My Deer One-
Thank you for your post. I get something out of each and every one. Your attention to detail and calm focus give you a formidable strength. I too have trouble bringing things in from shopping, etc , especially when my foot is dodgy. And though I love to be color coordinated to the point of being monochromatic, I often end up looking more witchy than bewitching- something spills, my hair gets puffed up by the wind (it's very thick) , step in something, crumbs, etc.
I think I need to start Izzyfying me. My neighbor came over and seemed to love the Izzy scheme in my house- at first she was shocked, so bare and everything white- now she is Izzyfying too!! White curtains, etc!!!!
Got to get back to class...
Love,
C.
-
Thank you Hops, CB, lighter, teartracks, Carolyn and changing!!!!!
I appreciate your responses to a rather mild thread after the 'excitement' of our previous day.
I was hoping for more people to respond and say that they, too, have a wonderful day!
Iaay
-
Now that is the line of post which makes my day.