Carolyn,
It is as if psychopaths sometimes have difficulty in monitoring their own speech, and they let loose with a convoluted barrage of poorly connected words and thoughts.
Psychopaths also sometimes put words together in strange ways.
The psycopath doesn't merely indulge in conversational chaff or word salads. They twist, and twist, and twist. and then twist some more.
Good reading.
tt
I have had two N-bosses and they both had this problem with language. The second boss convinced our maintenance man to break into our money drawers (long story) by tricking him as to why he was supposed to do this and what she wanted him to look for. Once he realized he was breaking into money drawers (rather than drawers that might have something other than money in them) he stopped, got a witness, and then protected himself with a signed statement from that witness. He knew immediately that this was wrong. No question in his mind.
Once the whole thing blew up in our boss's face, she decided to call each of us into her office for a lengthy explanation of why she did this, and that it wasn't wrong, and it was a mistake, but she just had to do it, and on and on. I didn't say a word during my fifteen minutes of quality time with her. I just listened really hard. She contradicted nearly every single statement she made. And her story shifted slightly with each telling (we all compared our experiences with her later on). She was so very subtle--much more skilled and subtle than my first N-boss. I kept thinking, no wonder she gets away with so much! You have to have so much background knowlege of events to detect the lies and inconsistencies. You have to check with others and you have to compare current statements with something she just said three seconds ago. It was a draining experience for me. And..... there was still one person who said, "Oh, I believe her, she wasn't lying, she was telling the truth." How I wish I could have recorded the explanation. It would have been classic N talk, a wonderful example for this thread.
I met her daughter once. That girl was one of the most depressed or repressed people I have ever met. She is quite smart and going to be a veterinarian according to her mother. But voiceless. So very voiceless. How could she be anything but with a mother like that?
Oh, and after this we started referring to her as "Crowbar" behind her back. The thing that bothered her the most? Once our little nickname got out of the office, other people were teasing her about it. She didn't like being teased about it. "All the clerks who know me in other offices are calling me Crowbar!" That was the worst part of it for her. Not that we reported the security breach to our union, not that we all knew she was not to be trusted, not even her "friends" could trust her. It was being teased about it that bothered her the most.
It was being teased about it that bothered her the most.
The story of the dunky and the old mand and the child.[/size]
They all were walking when somebody told them how stupid they were becasue they could be on the dunky. They got on the dunky and kept going and somebody told them how cruel they were because they both were on the dunky. The old man got off the dunky and kept going. Then somebody told them how stupid they were because the poor old man was walking instead of the ouny strong child. So thet changed palces nad kept going. Somebody stopped them and told them how stupid they were since the old man was on the dunky and the poor young child was walking.
Never is everybody going to be happy or everybody unhappy. We make some of the time some poeple happy and some of the time some people unhappy.
We cannot be responsible for the feelings of others or the thoughts of others or the opinions of others and need not to care for the opinions of others.
Just do the best we can.
I, personally, am very thankful to Dr. Grossman for this place where I can come and talk and make friends.Dear Dr. Grossman, you have all my sympathy, and my empathy.
I do not want to be a principal in a school, or a president of a country, or a CEO or a company, etc.
Hops, thank you for this thread.
AAAAAHHH... Carolyn, maybe it was a cow.
can't imagine having her for a boss
She did hundreds of awful or ridiculous things during her year and a half with us. One good example: After she re-decorated her office for top dollar she decided the rest of the building was ugly. So she wanted the maintenance man to paint all the interior bricks pink. This building was built in the 1930s and the interior walls contain thousands of bricks. It would have taken him a year to do such a thing. And she also wanted some shelving painted all the same color but he was only to use leftover paint that might be laying around in the basement. And all this was after she cut the other maintenance position so that one man was expected to do the work of two. She was able to cut the position by convincing the powers that be that our office was too small to even have one maintenance position. Logical, huh?
It was a rough year and a half. All the lying and head games and power plays and divide and conquer.
She confided in one of her favorite employees that when her father died, all four of his girlfriends showed up to the funeral at the same time. Her mother was there, too, of course. She had "daddy issues" as we called it. I can only imagine what else went on in the household that she grew up in to have her turn out like this.
All the lying and head games and power plays and divide and conquer.
That is very interesting about your co-worker trying to obliterate you by becoming like you. That makes so much sense. The co-worker I don't get along with mimics people. It is very subtle so I have never pointed it out to people since they know I don't like her and would think I am the nuts one. I hate working next to her because it is like an echo. Or a shadow. And since I am the only one who won't do her work for her, around me she works hard--or as I put it, pretends she is a hard worker. But that is fake. The real her is lazy and arrogant. She is just mimicking my work ethic. I have also seen her mimic my mannerisms and do other things, which now that you have described what your co-worker is doing, sounds like the same motivation at work. Obliterating us.
Your co-worker sounds very scary to me. I absolutely do not like the physical stuff and she sounds very extreme. After the incident when you had to put the chair between the two of you--did she back off? Or is she one of those broken record relentless types who just keeps at it till others give up or give in?