Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on June 21, 2008, 08:29:10 PM
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I don't know what is happening, but there are crazy things, like deletions, changes, modifications, being done to suit someone's purpose but I cannot figure out whose and why!
Leah, this morning, ordered me to remove a post of explanation of mine that she must not have comprehended., which I did, then she removed her post ordering me to do so.
This fuss between which parties, Leach, teartracks or PR
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival / Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: NC Breach: One Member's Pervasive Discombobulated Annoying Board Behavior
on: Today
Started by teartracks - Last post by teartracks
The Orginal Response was:
Ami,
I suppose it depends on the contextual application given it.
tt
However, it has now been re-written
It does not look re-written here!
Posted by: teartracks
Insert Quote
Ami,
I suppose it depends on the contextual application given it.
tt
There is no edit info on teartracks post.
and in one case a post of teartracks was credited to Leah by PR .
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=8124.0 (http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=8124.0)
I think the fuss is between tt and Leah
I also saw a post was Leah saying it would be her 'last post', and I thought she was leaving. It was to Lupita.
Now it is modified to her "last post for tonight"
http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=8127.msg130514#msg130514 (http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3//index.php?topic=8127.msg130514#msg130514)
Two responses below, I see Lupita asking Leah not to leave.
Also certain threads have been deleted rendering other threads undecernible!
Any explanations from anyone?
Iz
I have had to go back and forth to the board to obtain the info to post and have therefore had to modify to add a new URL to which I've referred. Also this has nothing to do with anyone personally other than finding the board difficult to follow. When the information changes or is not there.
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I DID NOT POST TO LUPITA THAT I WAS LEAVING ................. I POSTED THAT THIS WOULD BE MY FINAL POST FOR TODAY ............. BEDTIME BECKONS.
WHY IS SO MUCH TIME WASTED LOOKING FOR TYPING ERRORS AND COMMAS MISTAKES ON A HEALING BOARD ??????
CAN I GO TO BED NOW PLEASE.
LEAH X
OH THIS .......... EXPLAINS.............. AND MY GRATEFUL THANKS TO Gjazz "God Bless You" (( Everyone ))
Shame and Love are Mutually Incompatible
http://www.tomkins.org/pressroom/conversation.aspx (http://www.tomkins.org/pressroom/conversation.aspx)
Finally, there are all those moments when by our own hand we can do nothing to increase our own self-esteem, periods in our life when everything that happens serves only to prove that we are inferior. You've had them, I've had them, and they are awful moments. It is at such a time that we act according to the Chinese proverb "He who lands the first blow was the first to run out of arguments."
We use Attack Other scripts when we can feel better only by reducing the self-worth of another person, and we accomplish this reduction by put downs, banter, physical abuse, contempt, character assassination, calumny, blackmail. Any time we define a shaming remark as an insult or an example of disrespect, and respond by attacking with words or harmful actions, we are involved in an Attack Other script.
In fact, everything we have earlier called sadistic behavior is only action undertaken to reduce shame---a fact that makes treatment much more approachable. It will, of course, be obvious to this readership that people with attack self and attack other scripts hang together because they need each other;
Even the most cursory study of social and political history must suggest to a psychotherapist that in our civilization, over the past 40-50 years, the dominant, culturally expected, normative response to shame has shifted from Withdrawal and Attack Self to Avoidance and Attack Other. We have gone from a culture of politeness and deference to a culture of narcissism and violence, all of which must be understood as alterations in scripted reactions to shame affect.
Finally, for those who can do nothing by their own mind or hand to raise their own self esteem when shame hits, there is the attack other library of scripts through which they can work to reduce the self esteem of anyone else who happens to be available. At this pole of the Compass, anything that brings shame can be defined arbitrarily as insulting disrespect that "must" be handled by compensatory attack lest the individual suffer further shame.
Attack Other behavior includes insults, verbal or physical attack, bullying of any kind, or anything that seems to prevent the momentary sense of inferiority by (for only that moment) feeling bigger and better than the other guy. Sadly, to the extent that any individual hones the skills associated with Attack Other behavior, severe limitations are placed on the ability to negotiate, moderate, love, and nurture.
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Izzy,
I don't know why you are doing this to me, but I never ordered you at all...............I had saved a copy of the entired Healthy Community thread
and is what I wrote to you.......... truth.
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Title: Re: Healthy community
Post by: LeahsRainbow on June 21, 2008, 06:36:57 AM
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Dear Izzy,
I respectfully ask that you remove your above post -- as in your own recommendation: "This is wrong! You are starting another Board debacle, so please delete your post "
Earlier on, I have employed my time and energy in writing and sharing of a most painful personal life experience endured, here actually, and I do feel that your post is most humiliating to me as a person - fellow member of this community.
You have taken the words that were abusively expressed against me by a board member, and used them for a purpose that feels most hurtful to me.
I have treated you with respect.
Love, Leah
Why? Izzy
Why are you doing this to me? Why now?
You have never done this to Changing ...
So, why have you chosen to do this to me?
Respectfully,
Leah x
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Perhaps it isn't an order, per se, Leah, but you are very angry, especially typing in upper case about your last post., and you neve did understand my response to your request, "what if...".
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No I am not angry
however
I am struggling with my new laptoo
as I HAVE mentioned
Assumption is unkind to another person.
Leah
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Why don't you create a thread on a subject topic wherein you can interact with friends on the board?
Instead of nit picking everything I do and write?
I did not order you at all, I simply followed your own guideline, with respect.
Your behavior toward me does not feel respectful to me, and truthfully, I have not treated you disrespectfully.
I have never seen you engage this way with Changing.
So, why me, again?
Leah x
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I think you don't stop to think. Leah, because you have already modified your first response here. By modifying a reponse in one's favour can put the following response in a bad light.
I didn't begin this for disagreements. I was asking about gaslighting and feeling in la-la land with modifications, deletions, etc. that have created lack of continuity.
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My relationship with changing has nothing to do with the recreation of sentences and deletion of posts and threads
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Please refrain from assuming, ask me please?
I type the way I type, how I type, to the best of my ability.
Again, as mentioned before, I am getting to grips with a new laptop.
Why is it that you have never engaged in this way with Changing?
Leah x
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My relationship with changing has nothing to do with the recreation of sentences and deletion of posts and threads
Exactly, in essence, it has nothing to do with you, nor does it effect your life, if anyone 'edits' their post or thread, at any time, to make a correction, for a typo error, or comma error, or spelling error.
In truth, it is tantamount to Nit Picking.
May I suggest you create a thread topic to enjoy positive healthy interaction and please leave me alone, as I have only ever treated you with respect.
I don't follow your threads and posts -- analysing.
Incidentally, I have deleted ALL my threads of the 'What Helps" board for the sake of the board i.e. conflict / tumult. Also, some threads of the main board too.
So that in essence, I have few threads to create assumptions, presumptions, labelling and nit picking abuse.
I do hope that helps, and please, do not be concerned as to my typing ability or none.
Respectfully,
Leah
PS. Have you nothing else to do? Other than trail round checking up on folks typing and spelling and commas? Just my experiential observation. With my time wasted in explaining.
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Also, some threads of the main board too.
This was not started about you Leah, but missing threads and missing posts, where my posts are/were involved & I like to follow up on a thread, and even if I don't post on a thread I like to read and follow up.
You asked us all "What would you do if you woke up one morning and read that Leah is...."
Now I can say it without it being deleted, as the thread is gone, but I did Not remember that post about you. I took it to mean, "What would you do if you woke up one morning and read that (insert your own name here) is...." and gave you my response as if I had been called all those nasty things.....that I eventually learned were what Gabben called you.
Then I knew that I had responded out of context. I posted that to you, but you didn't read that. You instead took my own words and used them against me, because I said that if someone called me that, I "would ask for an explanation and for it to be pointed out where the person had arrived at that conclusion."...something like that.
Now the thread is deleted and no one can read it, but it and others deleted are still posted as reference in other posts by different people and the thread cannot be reached.
This appears to be between you and me Leah, and I never intended it to be. I was asking if anyone else felt crazymaking with the changes and you jumped in pretty quickly.
I will leave this open for others if they have an full idea of what's happening? In order to enjoy the board, please don't anyone rip out any pages. Something important on those pages keeps the continuity
Izzy
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The THREAD is there still Izzy
It is the Healthy Community thread.
I only deleted my request post (which I have copied above for you) out of respect to you, after I saw TODAY that you had deleted your offensive mocking humiliating post.
Which I had reported to Dr Grossman as your posting was abusive. [again, that was, and is, your own recommendation]
I ask that you show some respect to me as a person.
And cease objectifying me.
I have extended respect to you as a person.
Respectfully,
Leah
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Izzy, Here is YOUR own recommendation:
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Title: Re: Healthy community
Post by: Izzy_*now* on June 20, 2008,
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If posted on the Board, everyone would know who posted it, so might ask the poster to identify where she picked up these thoughts.
As far as to whom it is posted, a response of, "This is wrong! You are starting another Board debacle, so please delete your post," Also copy it and send to Dr. Grossman with a complaint!
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Izzy,
Regarding this your thread, which IS about myself.
I consider, exactly as per your OWN recommendation.
That this is wrong!
You are starting another Board debacle.
And again, I ask that you cease objectifying me, for the sake of a thread topic discussion.
I am following your recommendation and reporting this abuse, harassment, to Dr Grossman.
And, I ask that you cease trailing round the board analysing my every post, word, comma, and spelling.
In fact, it saddens me to say this, but, I wish for No Contact with you, as you are completely draining my energy on a daily basis, and I feel that it is unhealthy.
I am going to write with this effect to Dr Grossman informing him of No Contact from this moment in time.
I would say, that I feel you have engineered this action, and it truly saddens me, because I had every respect you.
However, my love is unconditional and you remain in my prayers.
I do not expect any discussion or reference to be made regarding me in this thread, nor any reference to any threads and postings, as per the No Contact ruling.
In fact, I would expect this to bring this, your unhealty debacle, to a closure.
Again, I shall express this to Dr Grossman along with notification of immediate No Contact.
Sadly, " enough really is enough"
Respectfully,
Love, Leah
PS. How sad it is that you never asked me "how are you today, Leah?" or any kind word for me. Unconditionally, I have only ever extended kind respect to you.
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Right!! Dead on!! Leah You GOT IT, girl! EDIT This is in response to Post #12
IF IF IF
[b]If *I* woke up [/b] and saw all those things posted about me I would ask that the poster to identify where she picked up these thoughts.
and also say "This is wrong! You are starting another Board debacle, so please delete your post," Also copy it and send to Dr. Grossman with a complaint!"
Can you, LEAH, not see that I posted as if I had seen My name there..... not yours as I never remembered that post about you
I don't think you and I have ever argued befoire, and I am not arguing now. I am clearing up an incident that has made me feel weird about Board deletions, changes and etc. as well as being asked to remove my post-------------------which was an explanation as I have given here.
I was very hurt that you did not read my explantion and understand, Friends don't do that. They ask for a clarification first.
iz
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awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Leah,
Why would you jump the gun like this???
I just wanted to clear this up after you posted
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww poop izzy------ now ya gone 'n dun it.
and now she'll unnerstan' whut the mixup wuz.
heck oh heck heck I'm goin to tha gardun to eet worms
bye
bye
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Every day, nit pick nit pick.
Sadly, please read above Izzy
I wish for "No Contact" exactly the same as Gabben and any other.
Sorry, I have only ever been respectful to you.
But, kind words have been lacking from you to me.
Respectfully,
Leah.
This is closure now Izzy. No Contact. I have informed Dr Grossman. As does everyone else on the board. Sadly.
Edit: The whole point being, that the matter was closed last night / earlier today. This was all most unnecessary, as your post is no longer there, and only chaos and confusion would ensue. Closure.
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Hi Iz,
Edit in: Oh crap. Everything I said is in quote. Correcting.
I don't know what is happening, but there are crazy things, like deletions, changes, modifications, being done to suit someone's purpose but I cannot figure out whose and why!
I would be happy to answer any questions you have.
This fuss between which parties, Leach, teartracks or PR
No, not PR.
teartracks
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hi teartracks
This quote from your NC
Here's the breach of No Contact rule by **** (cannot be mentioned)
Re: Obsession vs Self-Acceptance
« Reply #7 on: June 20, 2008, 03:26:31 PM »
... and then it finally got through my crazy, frenetic, can't see the forest for the trees head... the same thing that **** posted:
Quote from: PhoenixRising on June 20, 2008, 12:26:31 PM
What would cause any person to participate on a board where it is pretty certain that their dignity will be disgraced and dishonored and their character debased?
I'm not calling you to task on this PhoenixRising. I don't think members should have to trace down and verify the source of what others say of quotes used on the board, or keep up with NC requests, except their own. I just thought that I should say that **** lifted the words used here from my post #1, (page 8 today) to bean's, Board Bunnies - What I think of PM's. Edit in: A fair question would be, well who are you calling to task? It's ****. A NC boundary breaker? Note that the word intelligent was deleted from what I said.
Edit out: dandylife: This will build you stronger and more ready for those who will try and stomp upon your boundaries in the future. Don't let them! [/size] tt
Okay! I didn't think PR. That was your quote assigned to PR, right?
I went back and forth and found threads missing and changes so was confused.
I opened up a tin of worms?
Iz
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Izzy,
all you have done is to cleverly replace by name with *****
That posting is all about me, Leah.
NO CONTACT rules apply.
Leah
You don't need any clarification from Teartracks about a posting regarding Leah.
NO CONTACT all round applies.
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Hi all
My post to teartracks is to explain to her my not understanding something between 2 people and who originated the post, teartracks or PhoenixRising.
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The ONE person is LEAH -- it was about me, hence, you have ALTERED their posting to insert 4 **** to replace my name, LEAH
NO CONTACT ruling applies Izzy.
Dr Grossman's Board Rules applies to everyone here.
Izzy, you are creating the crazymaking with your choice of behavior, as evident.
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hi all,
Something interesting I discovered in the past two-three days. Interesting because I was always so shy and insecure, and unassertive.
I was hurt when I was asked to remove a post of mine, but I was Not hurt when two No Contacts have been requested of me, as in both cases I know I was on my right track and the others were not understanding what I had posted.
There is quite a difference: feeling that sense of 'the power of the truth'.
Best all
Izzy
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Izzy,
I was the was who was hurt by your mimicking ridiculing abusive posting, which is why I asked you to delete it
as per your own previous recommendation, to include informing Dr Grossman, of the abusive posting.
I am the one who has not received an apology, instead, a repeat of being hurt by your choice to re-create the hurt with this thread topic etc.
Which is why, "enough was enough"
and I felt I had no choice left, after having received several 'nit picking' postings from you for some time now.
Whereas, I have only ever shown you kind respect.
Sorry, Izzy, last night it was your choice of words and behavior in your posting to ridicule and humiliate me, that HURT me.
NO CONTACT is the best thing for me to do for my emotional well being, with much sadness.
Leah.
I am NOT an object, I am a person.
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You are responsible for what comes out of your mouth ,Leah. That is all. If people don't approve, you don't answer to them and it doesn't matter, really. Ami
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I have been reading this labyrinthian, paranoid, blame game for awhile now. The hook gets sunk and then apologies are made, only to start again. Will no one leave this to rest?
One thing i like about Voicelessness is when a person who is nasty posts and tries to get a rise out of people. No one replies. I thought.... oh someone will be unable to resist giving the so and so a tongue lashing .... but no ... there was no response.
For some reason people are taking these darts to heart. How about using the admonishion in the Four Agreements ie. Take nothing personally. There is a lesson in all this. This is a place for healing and there are frequent derailments into uber personal attacks. From now on I am ignoring them completely. This is my last attempt at trying to restore peace and harmony.
It is too difficult without seeing the body language and knowing more about the individuals. If anyone wants to carry on bickeringthen do it privately rather than trying to enlist members on the board to take sides.
Sea storm
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OOPs sea storm
I ought to have locked the thread. It is all over and done with now and this was to fade into the dust, as long as it was all understood, and many posts were deleted...threads as well.
Any attack on me was done before the situation was settled, but I responded with dignity, I hope.
Izzy