Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: lighter on July 01, 2008, 12:42:13 AM
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I cannot explain how much difference it makes in my life....
when I'm mindful to pull back and view situations from a distance.
(remember the helmet, Lupita)
Sometimes, I can't.
Sometimes, I can.
My life's better when I can.
I don't think it's possible to pull back if we hold expectations, imbibed with life threatening importance.
THAT seems to be the driving force behind a certain sense of emergency and despair, that sometimes sidles up like a spider, and ruins one's day.
If I pull back..... view all possible outcomes from a distance and mull them over..... not set my heart on any one outcome......
the stress dissipates.
I'm going to try to distance, detach and mull....
BEFORE the stress sets in.
I receive clarity of thought for my efforts so.... I'll keep working at it.
Lighter
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Hi Lighter-
You are mindful and powerful!!! When I am going off the rails Our Izzy is a big help to me in setting me straight and getting on with whatever I need to focus on. She is a treasure, and so are you!!!
Love,
C.
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Hi lighter,
If I pull back..... view all possible outcomes from a distance and mull them over..... not set my heart on any one outcome......
lighter, I think part of viewing all possible outcomes from a distance is key. Getting into the zone, as Caesar Milan says, is the hard part. I guess a lot of getting there revolves around mindfulness and taking every thought captive.
These are the times when I find it invaluable to go into 'search mode' within myself and ask, where my rehabilitation is concerned, do I really have to do anything about anything or for anyone in this moment, this hour, this day? That gets me in the zone as Caesar would say. It is surprising how often the answer is no. This releases me to rest in the new arena where I am the only one I have to be concerned about or answer to. It amazes me how refreshing it is to dwell there however briefly.
lighter, I know you have the children who make demands all the time. I know you have to see to their needs. What I'm saying above speaks to the methods we can use to shift from coping with our wounds to living above and beyond our wounds. I hope I'm making sense.
tt
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hi lighter
Detachment is a wonderful tool for calming oneself. I was happy when I finally understood 'detachment'.
Pulling back and looking and thinking and determining from a distance appears to be a safer mode.
I am glad to hear this:
I'm going to try to distance, detach and mull....
BEFORE the stress sets in.
I receive clarity of thought for my efforts so...
Love
Izzy
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Teartracks,
These are the times when I find it invaluable to go into 'search mode' within myself and ask, where my rehabilitation is concerned, do I really have to do anything about anything or for anyone in this moment, this hour, this day? That gets me in the zone as Caesar would say. It is surprising how often the answer is no. This releases me to rest in the new arena where I am the only one I have to be concerned about or answer to. It amazes me how refreshing it is to dwell there however briefly.
This makes a world of sense to me. It's about becoming... un embroiled, un entangled, un distracted, and fully complete, even when shifted into neutral.
Thank you.
Lighter,
Still praying.
Love,
Carolyn
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hold expectations, imbibed with life threatening importance
sense of importance, ego, to think that we need what we do not have, detachment, the opposite of attachment. Not to take anything personal, not to suffer, suffering is an option.
Enjoy the present and detach from the result, having a healthy competition without being obligated to want to win. Just the fun of competing, to challenge one self. Detachment from the result.
Lighter, very nice thread.
How are you?
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I am praying for you. The Lord will give you the strenght you need to cope and endure the outside forces. But a strong effort cannot be sustained for long periods of time. I will pray ofr you to be successful in keeping that distance form those outside forces.
My heart goes out to you.
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Hey Light,
The one thing I had found is just when you really need people the most... some detach from you/your problems....I guess some have to do this to get by emotionally....and then you have to try to detach from their detaching.... sometimes they still love you... it's just to big for people to handle.... I had a hard time understanding this...back then...and yes I also had to detach from them and my hurt because it just gets so big.. that no one knows what to do with things.....it does not mean that people don't care about you....
I care about you.. I understand.. and I won't detach....
Love
Deb
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Lighter,
I hold hope everything you're learning and practicing now will be what you will be able to call upon when those obligatory
challenges come to fore.
cats paw
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Hey Light,
I care about you.. I understand.. and I won't detach....
Love
Deb
Thank you, ((((deb...))))
You're an Amazon of the first order.
(((Lupita....))) thanks thanks thanks for the prayers. I'm being very mindful about controlling my imagination and keeping my head where my feet are. Not getting too far ahead of myself..... one day at time.
(((catspaw))) Thanks for the kind words..... I'm hopeful too.
Lighter
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Hi Lighter,
It sounds like you're going through a tough time and I just wanted to say ....
this won't last forever (my version of the old cliche...this too shall pass).
I have to embrace what works and block what hurts.
What a great one you've coined there!! I need to do that too! Need to make it my mantra!
Take care Lighter and I hope things get much better real soon for you.
Sela
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(((Sela)))
A big hug for those great kind words.
I'm having a good day.....
I have energy and focus....
getting lots done.
I'm reaching out for help and receiving it.
Again, thanks for the kind thoughts.
Lighter
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Oh Lighter, I'm so glad to hear that!
Keep doing all that!! Things will keep improving!!
returning ((((((big hug))))))
:D Sela
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I've had several very good busy days, getting much done.
Your enthusiasm made me smile, (((Sela.)))
Thanks.
Lighter
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Hi Lighter-
Good for you- detaching from the negative and being productive in the positive...
I find at times I shut down instead of detaching- not so good, but at least I don't get crazed...the detachment can be complicated when I have to be productive wth items that I perceive as damaging or futile at best...
When I can detach and examine things on all sides , best and worst case scenarios, etc it truly eases- but woryy can hector me when I feel vulnerable. I suppose deatchment is a form of invulnerability...
Now back to the dreaded paperwork preparation...
Love,
C.
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It's the vulberability that makes stress so hard to handle.
The more vulnerable we are.... the harder it is, IME.
Good luck getting your papers in order for next week.
You're very thourough and competent..... I don't worry that you won't be prepared.
I worry about all you have to do, along with that.
Take care of you...... sleep, nutrition, physical therapy.
Yes.
Lighter
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Lighter, I've neglected you. I'm sorry.
Been very self-absorbed lately.
I am sending hopes for you to have the most amazing, steadying, supportive 3-D friend or friends appear in your life, with you several times a week in person. Hearing and being present.
You need that.
You got it?
I hope so.
I'm very very sorry it's such a hard patch.
My imagination fails but your ability to keep movng is amazing and hopeful.
Please keep letting it out, in safety.
love
Hops
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Thanks for the thoughts, Hops.
You have your own rough patches to deal with, I understand.
I'm getting support and staying on track..... very busy with a move and not able to visit the board much.
Thanks for all the responses guys.
And thanks for the hope.
Lighter
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lighter,
My fig tree has about a dozen figs! When I walk by it I think of you...
tt
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Lighter - how's it going today?
Been awhile since we've chatted... and I'm working in an intense phase. Just getting caught back up on this thread and your news....
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tt.... I'll see my father's fig tree tomorrow..... it's always healthy and happy. Lots of figs.
The fig tree I moved for my friend is doing well....no figs but the poor thing has big happy green leaves again.
Amber...... I'm moving along, literally and figuratively.
Happy to report we're heading back to familiar territory, school, church and routine.
I get to see my girls today! They've been on holiday for 2 weeks and I've missed them terribly.
::doing small happy to see my wee ones dance::
Hope your intense phase leaves you time for self care and art.
((((Amber))))
I'll be busy for a good while..... not able to do more than pop in every now and again.
In the meantime.... please say a prayer for me, my children
::whispering::
and for chanqing.
Lighter
Reading a book titled WORRY.....
I think it might be a good one to add to the reading list.
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Lighter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))LIGHTER(((((((((((((((((((((((((((
I miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My heart goes out to you. I am praying for you. You are a strong person, super strong person, and you will make it through the storm, and through the fire, you are a survivor and you will prevail!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOve you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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((((Lupita))))
It gives me a happy feeling to picture you living near the ocean.....
practicing self care and growing.
I miss you too.
Lighter
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Hi Light,
Good to hear from you.. I think about you often...always in my thoughts.... enjoy your kiddos.....and I'll say a pray for you all.
Love
Deb
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:: throwing another log on the Amazonian fire::
:: getting settled in to wait... ::
we'll be here when ya get back Lighter... sounds like a happy change in the right direction!
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Amber, Deb and CB.....
I'm at a loss for too many words but wanted to say.....
I felt warmth and care when I read your mindful words.
Thanks for taking the time to throw wood on the fire, Amber.
Thanks for the prayers Deb.
Thanks for the insights and reminder to stop and have a cup of tea, CB.
I really appreciate your support.
Lighter
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Hi lighter,
A close neighbor has a fig tree as big as a bedroom. It is loaded with figs. I got to harvest some a few days back. I just cleaned them and froze them whole. I stewed a few in sugar syrup then sprinkled a little curry on them. Served with Lamb. Exquisite!
Sending my best!
tt
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So there you are... it's good to hear from you.. I was getting worried...I have missed you...Always in my thoughts.....
We'll be here.. waiting for when you get more time to jump on... till then,, lots of love to you and yours...
Love
Deb
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Hi, Deb and tt:
Thinking about fig trees made me smile.
Knowing someone's always here, made me feel warm and comforted.
I'm enjoying a very productive day..... creating sacred space and organizing drawers and shelves.
The girl's rooms look finished and special.
Now.....
to get the rest of the space looking just as good.
Light