Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: teartracks on July 09, 2008, 05:14:11 PM
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Hi,
I've been thinking...
There's nothing wrong with copying and pasting or providing links for member consumption. I do it, so you ain't heard me complain, OK? Trying to resay what is contained in a good article seems like a useless exercise kind of like trying to reinvent the wheel. Not a good use of time. However, I'm beginning to examine why more often than not I choose to copy and paste articles written by 'experts' on the web, rather than freely throw out my own thoughts on a subject. Here are some things that went through my head as to why I copy and paste rather than publish what I think. 1) Nobody really cares what I think. 2) Time consuming to write all that stuff down. 3) Intellectual laziness. 4) I'm not a good enough writer. 5) Sitting in front of the computer for that long gives me a fierce backache. Want to add your own?
tt
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ooo... tt, I have done alot of that... and I've considered the reasoning behind it, too!
I've shared the articles and tidbits which have made the most impact on me - like the Kathy Krajco stuff - for the simple reason that I've never really had anyone with whom to share those things which impact me.
Of all of the things I've missed the most, it was someone whose eyes would light up in recognition when I'd point at something and say - isn't that cool?! Wow!
Here at this board, I have found that.
There are other reasons, too, but that is the primary one... and right now I must clean up the mess I made in the kitchen... lol.
Love,
Carolyn
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hi tt
1.) We care what you think
2.) Copy and Paste the link and it's done.
3.) Anyone interested can click the link to read the original
4.) If there is something that really rings your bell , copy that paragraph and then provide the link, just give your thought on that part.
5.) I prefer people's own experiences, on their own words. Not all these writers know everything.
6.) Izzy's feelings on the matter.
Izzy
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Hey again tt,
I've been thinking on this and why articles bug me, and it is that not all articles fit everyone with our array of problems. This gives me a feeling of rubber-stamping all people with a certain author's theory.
In sharing of ourselves, we can open up other doors, as there can never be one scientific theory of what feelings are, because we can never know what anything feels like to another person.
I also suggest, from what I have seen here, there are diifferent views even of 'voicelessness' and that is this Forum
The forum is not about traits of Narcissists or Psychopaths, and how they are to blame for everything. It is about us, the members, and what we are doing to 'fix ouselves'.
Then to talk about our baby steps and sucesses.
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Just my own eccentric take on it, jives with parts of others':
I feel exhausted when I see page after page after page of some other author's writing pasted in. It's nothing against the poster...but I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it! (Put childishly, forgive that, I do know it doesn't harm me one bit and I can skip.) But I think it bugs me because I would like to get to know the poster, but I give up even opening most of those tomey posts since I know there's such a very slim chance I'll be learning anything about the poster.
I do like it a lot when people share links to good stuff, or brief extracts. It's great to know that our hive-mind of great google searches can find such illuminating and helpful gems to share with each other.
I ain't against research I'm just pro dialogue. It's so beautiful when that really is happening here...
love to all, librarians included,
Hops OOO! Just had a small lightbulb! My Nmother was a professional librarian and the woman BATTERED me with impersonal information and articles to read until I thought I'd scream. Aha! That's it! Duh.
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Hi Carolyn,
You and others have generated some brisk and helpful discussions on the board. There are some really good discussions in progress as we speak. Very helpful and pleasant.
I thought of another reason why it may be a good thing that I predominately copy and paste. Maybe I just don't have anything worth saying. Maybe I should be happy being a good copy and paster!
tt
tt,
Thanks.
To me, you have plenty that's worth saying... and if you choose to share entire articles or snippets or links or however it seems best to you, I will read with interest.
Can't please all of the people all of the time, right?
Might as well please yourself and those around you who are interested in you... and, consequently, interested in the articles which interest you!
That's how I look at it.
Life is too short to be so dang picky-oonie.
Love,
Carolyn
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tt,
One thing I really like about cutting and pasting from another's work is it shows you really are listening and you can expound on what they wrote. I have always appreciated it when people have quoted what I said and then added their take on my words. It is a very caring way to reiterate a post and respond to the poster, I think. I am not sure why you say you prefer to do this. It seems to me that you also do your own thoughtful ruminating that helps others here.
If I quote someone, usually the words are particularly meaningful to me. Or, as I said earlier, they are words I think are important for the author to really ponder.
This is a good subject.
Love, Beth
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Life is too short to be so dang picky-oonie.
You're so right about that, Carolyn.
For what it's worth, I know it's a petty irritation on my part. I got all huffed up about it at one point and was trying to control that on the board. Silly and useless.
I totally agree with you that people should be free to post what they want.
It was a great insight for me just now about my mother's use of articles and info. Glad this thread happened.
One thing (can't help myself) -- I would think that maybe sometimes the really long long long ongoing article extracts could more appropriately (in the sense of the Dewey Decimal System :D) be posted under What Helps?. Then in posts here on the main board, the writer could explain there's a long article over there about ___.
But what the hey, the world ain't my library.
love to you,
Hops
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Hi Beth,
It's true that acknowledging what other bring to the board is a good thing. Like Carolyn says, having someone see truth in something you've unearthed and share a Wow moment...well, there's nothing quite like it for voiceless ones.
tt
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Hi Hops,
Hops OOO! Just had a small lightbulb! My Nmother was a professional librarian and the woman BATTERED me with impersonal information and articles to read until I thought I'd scream. Aha! That's it! Duh.
It was a great insight for me just now about my mother's use of articles and info. Glad this thread happened.
I knew I'd influence your life sooner or later! :D
tt
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Hi Iz,
Then to talk about our baby steps and sucesses.
Yes!
Me thinks the board is stuck with the N word and the P word.
tt
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6) It's not safe to post one's own thoughts on the board, so posting an article is an effort of dogged determination to continue to participate.
Just a guess.
CB
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I think you're on to something Carolyn, with #6.
I have appreciated greatly the links and even some copied articles that are relevant to what I'm currently working with, on myself. Remember your attachment thread? Those articles hit at just the right time for me to work through that whole set of feelings, ideas and issues.
On the other hand, once I open a topic and see that something's been copied or linked to that's not of great interest (well - it might be - but time is short, right?) I tend to skip over it.
I guess it all depends on what the intention is, behind sharing something. What is the poster really wanting/needing?
6) It's not safe to post one's own thoughts on the board, so posting an article is an effort of dogged determination to continue to participate.
If #6 is really the case, I guess we can all examine our why's... and either continue to hide behind this kind of "sharing"... or resolve to try to change this habit - if it really is just a habit - and see that (as my taichi teacher says) "nothing bad will happen".
Myself, I don't feel that it's unsafe to post my own thoughts or feelings here, now - but I do understand that feeling well - because I was once there, myself. Live & let live... you know?
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Hi CB,
6) It's not safe to post one's own thoughts on the board, so posting an article is an effort of dogged determination to continue to participate.Yes. I think that having the veil of someone else's words that approximate our own between us and the board does serve to protect us from off topic attacks on some threads. I also think that many of us have been conditioned to think that someone on the Internet who has the gall to publish themselves is an expert allowing us to confidently adopt their 'expertise' and turn them into our surrogate mouthpieces. Doesn't that diminish the potential of the board?
tt
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TT
surrogate mouthpieces. Doesn't that diminish the potential of the board?
Very well said!
I've been talking about this for months, but I expect I didn't say it well enough, that I would prefer the poster's personal thoughts/experiences rather than some long involved article.
Thanks
Izzy
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OOPS!
Yes - #6 was CB's; must've still been foggy in the head this morning!
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Hi Iz,
Thanks.
I've enjoyed your writing here a lot. Everyone has a different style of expression on the board and that is part of the enjoyment of reading on the main board. You get to know the person better. I like the personal stories, but not to the exclusion of great articles written by professionals. I think I'm getting a better perspective of my own participation by talking about it on this thread.
Question Iz - When you hang a thread, do you measure its effectiveness by the number of 'hits' it gets or by the number of replies? Or what?
tt
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I think there are many topics that are good thought-provokers or even discussion starters. That's always the hope when I post something from an article.
We do have to be mindful of copyright laws and provide links to the original source. Most authors probably won't mind IF their link is posted as well.
Dandylife
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Question Iz - When you hang a thread, do you measure its effectiveness by the number of 'hits' it gets or by the number of replies? Or what?
tt
I don't start many threads, tt, and if I do I don't expect much interest as the Post #s will show, but the Views #s are usually larger, as with many others , but then some people post 3- 4 threads a day or more, and a few posts to all 5 threads might make them happy, whereas one thread with 5 posts would not make them happy.
Someone could click on the thread without reading, just to 'up' the numbers of disinterested Viewers.
The supposèd truth can be faked so I really don't measure anything that can be manipulated.
With this opinion, I could be dissed, but so be it.
Izzy
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Hello to all,
I find that I ignore the posts that are informational. Some are kind fo interesting and helpful, some I already have learned the information. When I first strarted here I was hungry for information and anythng that would bring insight into what I had experienced in close personal relationships with Ns. So for the newcomers, it is probably a good idea to keep recycling the basics and the indepth articles as well.
There is such diversity here. Some people are very intellectual in their approach to healing wounds and others are bleeding all over the road emotionally. There is not a right way or wrong way. Just like there are sensors and feelers and intuitives and thinkers. I used to feel bad about posting how emotionally raped I felt. Luckily, there were some empaths who were there for me. I guess the intellectuals are coming at it sideways, to my way of thinking. This always feels life the wrong way to me because I am not strongly loaded intellectually although I am not stupid. I love words too.
Lately, I find that hearing the stories and myths about narcissism to be the most helpful. I am even dabbling into my own dead places and how they have affected others. For one thing, I immersed myself in cyberspace and withdrew from everyone who cared for me. I recently heard this from a friend who felt abandoned by me. So we are ALL on the continuum from psychopathy to sainthood.
As for the relevance and worthiness of an posting based on the responses...... well, the one with the most responses is just about anything. Jerry Springer gets the highest responses and ratings from the public. Probably a posting that said;
jumping out of window, partner has gun. Would be a really good one for number of responses. OR ( this is from national enquirer 1960) Father kills lover, forces daughter to eat corpse. I try to remember that finding my voice and telling my story in my own awkward and inconsistent and sometimes powerfulo and helpful way is for me and not to meet any standard of anyone else.
I don't want to sound judgemental and snittly. I dont read everybody's posts. I dont have a great memory and I dont remember everyones threads for the last two years. i bumble through this. Some days i can help someone who is foundering and some days I look for help myself.
I have noticed that most people have pretty predictable styles. I ignore the articles mostly but like referrals to books.
So there ya go.
Sea storm
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Hi Iz,
The supposèd truth can be faked so I really don't measure anything that can be manipulated.
With this opinion, I could be dissed, but so be it.
Izzy
Good observations Iz. My instincts are the same, so if you get dissed I might too. :wink:
tt
So for the newcomers, it is probably a good idea to keep recycling the basics and the indepth articles as well.
You make a very good point, Sea.
Recently I learned that I can click on the Users Online prompt and see what others are reading in real time. I have been surprised that more often than not, viewers are reading a variety of current and old posts or threads.
Jerry Springer gets the highest responses and ratings from the public.
Oh lord Sea, that says it all as far as I am concerned. :lol:
Some days i can help someone who is foundering and some days I look for help myself.
Me too.
tt
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I also think that many of us have been conditioned to think that someone on the Internet who has the gall to publish themselves is an expert allowing us to confidently adopt their 'expertise' and turn them into our surrogate mouthpieces. Doesn't that diminish the potential of the board?
Dear TT,
I think that it probably diminishes the potential of the individual poster (if using a "surrogate mouthpiece" is the motivation), but I doubt that it affects the potential of the board. There are so many posts in a day, and probably only a fraction of them are copied articles, and only a fraction of those are out of that motivation. So, I suspect that the overall impact is minimal.
Add to that, the fact that reading them is optional, so there is probably little danger to the board's potential. IMO.
CB
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Hi, tt,
I don't know whether this will help in your consideration of this topic,
but here are a couple more of my own thoughts.
Over the years, I'd accumulated quite a collection of articles which helped me find my way out of oblivion. That's how I viewed them.
I'd saved them as links, thinking that I never wanted to lose track of these gems.
Well, over time, these links would get "broken", meaning that the info which I'd considered a veritable treasure trove was no longer accessable.
Now, admittedly, I may have gotten too attached to these articles (this is something I'm exploring for myself), but still...
when I post something, I will include at least an excerpt from the content - and, on occasion, the full article - and not only a link, because I find broken links distressing. It's okay with me if some folks aren't interested in reading... because I know that some don't mind and may even appreciate that method!
If there is one old fable to which I no longer hold, it's this: It is my job in life to try to please everyone at all times.
But more than that, I often post articles and excerpts because it is the discussion which follows that helps me to understand and frame the content!
I can read something and get a vague sense of knowing "in my knower", but it's only when others comment and add their contributions that the meaning gets fleshed out and put into more practical application. When I cannot do that for myself, I find this exchange of thoughts invaluable.
So the bottom line is... it works for me and does not cause any real harm to others, so... I'll keep rowing my little boat.
Carolyn