Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: hardtotrust on August 07, 2008, 07:31:19 PM
Title: MY baby is born
Post by: hardtotrust on August 07, 2008, 07:31:19 PM
Hi!
A few months ago I posted here and everybody helped me a lot, when my N ex girlfriend sent me away during her pregnancy.
There were many doubts and you listened to me and gave great advice.
Now, as the main chapter of this story ends, I owe you all the pictures of my baby girl, Sophie, born on 07.31.2008 and me:
(http://neyjss.sites.uol.com.br/DSC00640a.jpg)
(http://neyjss.sites.uol.com.br/DSC00626a.jpg)
Thank you very much!
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Gaining Strength on August 07, 2008, 07:37:28 PM
What a precious beautiful baby girl and such a lucky father. That's a wonderful picture. I so hope that life turns out beautifully for you both.
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: gratitude28 on August 07, 2008, 07:45:47 PM
Dear Hard, What a sweet little girl. How are things going with you? She is beautiful and I hope you will be a large factor in her life. Love, Beth
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Certain Hope on August 07, 2008, 07:53:37 PM
(((((((((Sophie and Dad)))))))) So many blessings to you both... and prayers for a wonderful life!!
Thank you so much for coming back to share and for bringing such big smiles!
Carolyn
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Ami on August 07, 2008, 07:58:51 PM
Oh Hard To Trust I am so happy to hear from you and see your beautiful baby. I have so much joy to see you both. Love and Big Hugs, Ami
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: teartracks on August 07, 2008, 08:17:43 PM
Ahhhhh! So beautiful... Joy is written all over your face! Congratulations
tt
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: hardtotrust on August 07, 2008, 10:51:35 PM
Thank you, Shame Slayer! Precious is the word. I am really looking forward to our father-daughter relationship. My mother cried a lot tonight when saw the pictures of me taking care of my baby. She lost her father when he was very young and discipline was more strict at her time, so I guess she misses a lot that kind of care and it really moved her. Besides that, she always wanted a daughter, and then a granddaughter. She is very happy.
Hi Gratitude28! Things are much better now. I am still afraid of what my ex might do at any moment, but now I know I have my daughter and the rights to protect her. Right now my ex is being a little friendly and, incredibly, inviting me to visit the baby and take care of her. I hope I can make the difference in her life. I wrote in her memory book: "Sophie, your dreams are mine. Your problems are mine. Your life is my life as well. I will take care of you. I will never leave you. Sophie, I thank God for giving you to me. I thank you for being my baby and for giving me the privilege of being your father. Your arrival makes everything worth it. Sophie, always be certain that you were very expected and that you were loved even before you were conceived, when you were only our dream. Daddy"
Thank you, Certain Hope! We needed that hug! Thank you. I felt the urge to return to this wonderful place to share the news. I am really happy, although people say I am serious in the picture I posted.
Here are two more pictures, the flowers I sent to the girls and one more of me and my baby:
(http://neyjss.sites.uol.com.br/DSC00546.jpg)
(http://neyjss.sites.uol.com.br/DSC00735.jpg)
Thank you, Ami!!! You are very special to me. You were right, she is mine.
Thank you, Teartracks! Thank you!
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Gaining Strength on August 07, 2008, 11:15:05 PM
I love these pictures!! She is such a beauty. I don't know what her mother looks like but there in no question that she looks like you.
What you wrote to her is so precious. It touches me deeply because no matter what happens she will have that. I encourage you to keep a copy of what you wrote attached to your will so that should anything happen she will always know your thoughts when she was born. My little boy's father died when he was only 7 months old. I would give anything to have words like that to show him. Because you never know what her mother might do - keep those words so that she will receive them should anything happen to you or to her mother.
So happy for you and for Sophie, such a beautiful child.
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Ami on August 08, 2008, 12:28:46 AM
Oh My Goodness, HTT. You remembered and I did, too!. YOU are very special to me, too. Love Ami
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: gratitude28 on August 08, 2008, 07:41:25 AM
I love the picture of you nose to nose with Sophie. I am sure you know that Sophie means wisdom! I hope she will be wise and happy, and I am sure that with a father like you in her life, she will be. Lots of love, Beth
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: LilyCat on August 08, 2008, 09:42:08 AM
HTT,
I have come on the board since you shared your story, but I just had to say -- what a beautiful, precious little child. What you wrote in her book is beautiful, and something that she'll treasure always.
We recently found my MOTHER's baby book from when she was born, and it was so charming to see the things my grandmother had written in it.
May you and your daughter enjoy a lifetime of blessings and a very special relationship. It sounds like she is really blessed to have you as a father.
Best,
LilyCat
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: mudpuppy on August 08, 2008, 10:19:52 AM
That's one cute crumb cruncher and that's also quite a head of hair for a newborn. :D
If I'm recalling your N ex girlfriend correctly, Sophie is going to need a strong dad who is there whenever she needs you.
mud
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: lighter on August 08, 2008, 06:25:20 PM
She's beautiful.
Congratulations.
Now..... how did child support, visitation and custody issues get resolved?
On paper?
Cross every t....
dot every i.....
in case anyone jumps sideways?
Working things out, during a time of peace, is best.
You don't have to answer that here.... it was rhetorical, btw.
As long as you've got answers for yourself.....
and that sweet baby.
Light
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: changing on August 08, 2008, 06:41:53 PM
Hello Trust-
Congratulations on the birth of your darling little girl...such a pretty baby!May God bless you and her mother and Miss Sophie.
Thanking you for sharing the pictures and making me smile!
Love and Best Wishes for a Beautiful and Peaceful Future for All,
Changing
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: hardtotrust on August 08, 2008, 08:26:49 PM
Me: Now, where did I leave my car keys??? I can't find them!!!
Sophie: THERE, daddy, there...
(http://neyjss.sites.uol.com.br/DSC00639a.jpg)
Hi, Shame Slayer. Her mother is blond, blue eyes. It took a few days, but her family admitted she has nothing of her mother. Then they began joking she needed to take a DNA test to see if it was hers indeed. I found some pictures of my childhood, it was very funny, it is a little too soon, but there is resemblance.
I encourage you to keep a copy of what you wrote attached to your will so that should anything happen she will always know your thoughts when she was born.
That is the point!!! Everything I did in the last few months I was thinking of leaving her a solid reference of how importante she is to me. I took a picture of my writing and made some copies. I think I will make my own version of her baby book for safety.
Yes, Ami, I never forgot your words of compassion. I remember how you wished and believed she was mine. She is.
Thank you, Gratitude28! I know. Funny, her mother chose the name, I agreed (N relationship). May God listen to your kind words.
Thank you, LilyCat. I also consider myself blessed.
LOL, yes, Mudpuppy, she has a lot of hair!!! Just like of my childhood pictures. I really considered dismissing the Pediatrician and calling a hairdresser. Yes, I believe you are right. She will need me as reference. Right now, my ex is behaving a little reasonably, considering her past attitude, but I don't think that will last much.
Hi, Lighter. No, not yet. Right now, her mother talked to me and said I have free access to the child. I think she still believes in the possibility that we might end together. As soon as that arrangement stops working (any moment), I'll talk to my lawyer. Right now I am grateful I didn't have to wage a legal battle only to check the paternity. It is certain to me that I will need to have everything on paper, but I need to wait for the very right moment, otherwise she'll play the victim, saying that suing wasn't necessary, that I have a problem and so on... I am helping in many ways, but since dialogue is not an option, I don't know what she really wants (and she changes her mind by the minute). You are right, working things out during a time of peace is best. I will think about it tonight. Thank you.
Thank you, Changing! I loved "Miss Sophie" !!!
All your messages are very important, in a moment I know I have to get ready to a struggle that is inevitable and I have to be strong for my baby.
Hugs!
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Gaining Strength on August 09, 2008, 12:25:54 AM
I was looking back at some of your earlier posts and some time ago you said that she was due Aug 5th but that you expected that she would be earlier than that. You are tuned into her. She is already clearly a daddy's girl - so glad for you both. That is special and far to rare.
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Ami on August 09, 2008, 07:12:36 AM
Dear HTT Do your baby pix's look like Sophie? You look so much alike. It is so precious to see. I bet you and she will be alike in many characteristics. It was that way with my children. The one who looked like me was very similar to me in personality, too.We had the same sense of humor, taste in books, outlook on life and other such things. It will be interesting to see what your M says about you. Love Ami
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: debkor on August 09, 2008, 02:24:21 PM
HTT,
She is a beauty......Treasure each and every moment....She is a blessing and a gift...always be there for her...which I'm sure you will be.....
Love Deb
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Ami on August 11, 2008, 02:39:12 PM
Dear HTT Any more news? I am waiting to hear all the exciting things. Love Ami
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: hardtotrust on August 12, 2008, 12:33:31 AM
Hi Shame Slayer! It's interesting, when my ex sent me away, a friend of mine which is into meditation tried to find out if it was my baby by means of her methods of relaxation and dreams. In the end she saw everything correctly. She said that the baby was mine, had very black hair (at the time I didn't notice the importance of this information, since most babies have almost no hair), that she saw we looking into each other eyes and that we had a special connection.
I hope she becomes a daddy's girl, but with responsability, I am really worried about helping her understand about limits and consequences, things her mother can't grasp. On the other hand, I am committed to help her build her self-steem. I am buying all books about fathers-daughters, there are good ones, I found out.
Thank you!
Hi Ami! Yes, I found some pictures of my childhood, they all closed the case. Like her mother joked, I can't run, there is no way to deny (and, of course, I took the DNA test the very first day). One picture is extremely funny, I have a very messy hair in the picture. But oddly enough it looks exactly like her hair. I got very worried when I thought she might be like me, I thought she might suffer a lot. But I intend to be there to help her understand her limitations and her strengths. As to my mother, right now I am very suspicious of everything my mother says, because she is drooling almost as much as I am, so she is very subjective.
Thank you, Debkor! I really consider her a blessing. God was very generous. Even after confirming that she is my child, it is difficult to me to accept that I took part in the making of something so beautiful.
Hi again Ami! Sorry I took so long to answer. I have been there a lot, yesterday until 3:00am. I love to be at her side, helping with what's possible for a cumbersome man. But I have managed to calm her down a few times and many things I didn't think I would be capable of.
News...I have been trying to avoid the N theme, but it is always there. Today I couldn't control myself and criticized her for the strange behaviour she has with her brother. It's something disgusting, that I know her ex-boyfriend complained of as well... I regret criticizing her, because no matter what she is never wrong and everybody else is wrong. There is no use. So I just want to be near my baby till I can have scheduled visits and I don't need ever again to see my ex. She also said it was absurd that I wanted to take a DNA exam. Well, among MANY other things, after we found out she was pregnant, she sent me away and reestablished contact with her "ex" (one of her lovers, of 8 years), while pregnant. I managed to find proof about that, some e-mails that she forgot in a draft box. So, no, I don't have any reasons to take a DNA exam... :shock:
Hugs!!!
Title: Re: MY baby is born
Post by: Ami on August 12, 2008, 07:41:27 AM
Dear HTT It sounds like you are considering practical things ,with the N, which is important. Don't we all wish that N's would grow up and fly right,but it ain't gonna happen. You are right to consider serious ways to stay connected to Sophie b/c she will need you a great deal. You really, really need people who love you when you have an NM. The reason I am even here to tell the story is that I had extended family who loved me. If I had been with my M,alone, I shudder to think what would have become of me. You will be s/one to love Sophie in a way that is good for her, unlike the N,who "loves" in a selfish ,destructive way, as we all know. I am so happy for you, HTT. There are many beautiful things in store for you, peacful,loving, delightful times with Sophie. I know you will chersih all of them. I know that you already do. I am thinking of you and it brings joy to my heart. Love Ami