Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: ann3 on August 20, 2008, 03:42:29 PM
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Yesterday, I read cover to cover, "Healing the Sensitive Heart" by Debra Mandel, PhD. After reading this book, I had a revelation: I finally realized that I never felt that my parents loved me (they were very critical) and then so many N pieces fell into place. When you don't feel unconditionally loved by a parent, you can grow up to feel inherently flawed and this can cause shame, which permeates your adult life. Then, you can go thru adulthood seeking the unconditional love you never received from your parents.
IMO, the book puts together all the pieces of the N puzzle: not loving ourselves, not having good boundaries, being criticized as children, shame, humiliation, accepting that we can only change ourselves, walking away from relationships with people who refuse to change, etc, etc. IMO, Dr. Mandel interweaves all the pieces together, shows us why we've been victimized by & attracted to Ns and then shows us how we can create a life in which we can thrive. Although she never talks about Ns, she clearly refers to Ns when she discusses those people who invalidate us.
While her presentation does not provide new information, it's the way she presents the info that is so helpful and easily digestible.
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Yesterday, I read cover to cover, "Healing the Sensitive Heart" by Debra Mandel, PhD. After reading this book, I had a revelation: I finally realized that I never felt that my parents loved me (they were very critical) and then so many N pieces fell into place. When you don't feel unconditionally loved by a parent, you can grow up to feel inherently flawed and this can cause shame, which permeates your adult life. Then, you can go thru adulthood seeking the unconditional love you never received from your parents.
IMO, the book puts together all the pieces of the N puzzle: not loving ourselves, not having good boundaries, being criticized as children, shame, humiliation, accepting that we can only change ourselves, walking away from relationships with people who refuse to change, etc, etc. IMO, Dr. Mandel interweaves all the pieces together, shows us why we've been victimized by & attracted to Ns and then shows us how we can create a life in which we can thrive. Although she never talks about Ns, she clearly refers to Ns when she discusses those people who invalidate us.
While her presentation does not provide new information, it's the way she presents the info that is so helpful and easily digestible.
Hi Ann3,
I too have read "Healing the Sensitive Heart" by Debra Mandel, PhD - and it has been a wonderful resource, Chapter 4 ' BREAKING FREE' ...... brilliant.
Hope all is well with you.
Leah x
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Hi Leah,
I loved this book. The author really makes clear that we are not responsible for other people's feelings and I found that so liberating. For me, the author gives a strategy for freeing ourselves from N damage so we can actually live a happy life. Amazing!!
I'm doing well and I hope you are too.
love,
ann
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Thank you, Ann. I am going to check out the book. Ami
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Hi Leah,
I loved this book. The author really makes clear that we are not responsible for other people's feelings and I found that so liberating. For me, the author gives a strategy for freeing ourselves from N damage so we can actually live a happy life. Amazing!!
I'm doing well and I hope you are too.
love,
ann
Hi Ann,
I so agree, regarding the book.
I am well thank you, ever so well and so very free and happy. Delightedly so, and unashamedly. Getting on with life and building up friendships here and around wherein I live - with much to look forward to.
No dating as yet, but that will happen in time, the right time.
So glad to know that you too are doing well.
Love,
Leah
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Leah,
Great to hear you're doing great. When you're ready, the dating will come.
love,
ann