Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on September 11, 2008, 09:39:08 AM
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I was just feeling so discouragerd. Not only has my mom not backed off, she seems to have stepped up. So I was searching through careerbuilder.com and I had been thinking about a sales job I had before we opened our store almost 15 years ago..............selling furniture. I was feeling overwhelmed by the whole management thing and not being able to do my job with mom in the way. I found a job with the company I worked for. Thought of it BEFORE I went to the web. There was a job available AND the money was exactly where I needed it to be. THen I thought.....wouldn't it be nice to go in, sell, sell, sell and go home........no disciplinary duties. No scheduling. No advertising and marketing. No long and drawn out meetings with my mom.......just me, doing what I do best.............SELL!!
I am getting this "get out of Jail" feeling. I think, ok, could this be the answer. Forget the career. I am old enough I would prefer to retire anyway. No real stress.....(yes, there is some backstabbing in sales.......but I am a tough girl who does not have a problem standing up for myselfr.....) Away from my mom. No fighting with our former employees who are opening the store two miles away. No "christian" stress. Freedom from all that!!
Now we will see if they will hire me!
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I hope they do...........meanwhile, I have an interview with another company tomorrow. Probably will not take it because I know I will not get the money I want and need.........but it is good experience!!! Feeling relieved somehow..............I hope they want me.............because if they do not I will be really sad. They offered me a management job about 8 years ago which I turned down......the money was not there......but the sales job is commission based and their best sales people make over 100k!!
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I am wishing you very good luck, Kelly. I will be waiting to hear what happens. Ami
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this is wonderful, Kell...
I am pulling for you and I hear you pulling for yourself!
Eager to hear.
love,
Hops
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hi OC
How are you doing?
Did you apply yet?
Am anxious to hear about your 'jumping off the roller coaster' if you have.
Good Luck
Izzy
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I applied for the job and now I am just waiting to see. I think they will hire me - they would be foolish not to since they have offered me the management position in the past. I am a natural born salesperson and would be good for their business. I am not even afraid of the hours......as long as I do not have to work bell to bell (open to close) If I get two days off during the week and work on weekends, then I do not have to be around my husband who drives me crazy..........and I can make more money than I do now. Plus I will get discounts on furniture and I am in the market for a new sofa!!!!!
Thanks for pulling for me. I was disappointed I did not get a call this week but hopefully early next week....
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Good luck Kelly!!!!!
ox seasons
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I hope you get that job.... but just in case.
Keep looking round and see what's available.
Sometimes it's a windy unexpected path leading to a better place.
Lighter
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Thinking of you, Kelly.How have you been and are there any updates? Ami
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Well, my furniture store never called but a department store called about a cosmetic counter manager. I have to admit I was not happy about it but I went to the interview with a smile and a good attitude. AFTER the interview I was psyched!! I think it would be fun and I am doing three more interviews!! Plus another furniture store called me and I have an interview next Tuesday AND another company called and I will call back tomorrow. I really feel good about this dept store job. We will see!!
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Sounds very promising Kelly. :D
Good luck, keep us posted. ox seasons
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Dear Kelly,
The cosmetics sounds fun . I always thought that cosmetics would be the most fun of any sales job. I have had many sales jobs, but not cosmetics.
I think you are doing very well, Kelly. Looking forward to updates. Ami
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And I have another interview at a Cable company on Monday and an interview on Tuesday with Slumberland furniture so I am shaking things up.....The cable job would be cool because you do it all on your own so you could make your own schedule (therefore alloting time to pick up daugher at school!!)
We will see. The cosmetics counter manager would probably be a cut in pay but that would force me to step up my v4l business....but there are advancement opps!
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Good luck with your interviews!! It sounds like you are doing a great job!!!
Love, Beth
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Well, I finally got a call from the original company I wanted to work for. Phone interview on Monday.......and the cosmetics job called back and I am doing some kind of personality test profile also.............lots of things in the hopper!!
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And now a phone interview with the Clinique rep today over the phone and tomorrow I go in so I am busy. Monday will be a whirlwind!
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That sounds exciting , Kelly. I always wanted to work at a make-up counter. I think it would be fun to help women feel more beautiful.
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So I had my phone interview yesterday and then met with the HR manager and the store manager. They will let me know by Wednesday. Then I had a phone interview with the original furniture company.....then i took a personality test. Lastly I went down town for another job (NOT) selling cable door to door!!!
I pretty much cancelled one for tomorrow....Slumberland is a smaller company in a different town and I just cannot see myself doing that.....
So lots of stuff going on. I made it through today and we will see. The waiting is the hardest part...
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you set your mind to making a change and you got a slew of interviews in a difficult market. WOW!!! That's impressive.
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Thanks now prop me up. I am having all kinds of cognitive dissonance. I need to remember that I can go spread my wings and remove myself from all the N drama. Maybe in a few years if the business is still viable and she really IS ready to retire, I could go take over.
But don't let me back out.........I am fearful of the cosmetics manager for a couple reasons. One the pay may be too low and two maybe they will not even hire me. But I hope they at least offer it to me!! THe furniture store? If I get on there I know I could make a substantial living and that is a wonderful prospect for me!!
Lord, help me to do the right thing and make the right decision!
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OK, so I go to the first job I wanted and applied for and they WANT ME!!! In fact, I could have done a drug test today and started on Monday, but then they called and said, "You can start on Oct. 20th." So needless to say I was excited and trying to figure out how I would be able to get over the bump of not making much money during my training.......I was thinking this ALL through today when I got a call from my church. Church as 7000 members. Anyway they have this new bookstore with a coffee shop. They use the exact same computer system that we got at my store in May. Well, the lady in charge of it quit and I am going to talk to them tomorrow about a full time position running their church store!! Can you believe it? That sounds like just the thing I want and need!! I meet with them tomorrow....it is what I know AND it is AWAY from my mom and all the drama with my former employees!!! Pray for me. This sounds like just the job I need!
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Dear OC
It's not raining, it's pouring!! Great!!
You are now almost employed? HURRAH!!!
Let us know tomorrow!
Love
Izzy
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That church job sounds awesome for you. Perfect. I will indeed pray it happens.
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Kelly,
WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!
ann
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So I went in today and talked with them. I would be perfect for this job.....however, there is someone who is already working in the shop who wants the job. He has no where near the experience I have..........also I am predicting the pay is waaaaaay low. If it is not too low I may be able to wrap my arms around it. Have faith that God will provide, etc. Do my V4l business. I get the feeling that they want people who have been around the church for along time. We are new and he was surprised I didn't know about the special education program they had. I told him my kids still go to the church they grew up at......and I must have missed it!!
Oh well, and when I gave them my name as someone who could help a long time ago they didn't contact me because they thought I would be too bossy or bring my store into it and they wanted it to be different. For whatever reason...................but they NEED me. The store needs my experience!!
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NEED ADVISE!!
So if they offer me the church job I predict the pay will be half of what I am making now. Our budget is tight right now. But I could do great things with their store.
If I take the furniture sales position, I could make MORE than I make right now.
BUT the economy is so bad, what if we plummet into a depression and no one has money for furniture and I make NO money.
And please do not tell me to downsize. I know the market. Houses sit on the market for months and years. I do not want to move.
Any insight??
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Could you take the church one with the agreement that you could sell your MLM product there? Does that sound workable? Ami
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I'm a security freak (having none), Kell.
Given things w/your marriage...and that life will always, always bring SOME kind of change...
I think what I would do is ask the church what level of commitment they would make to you.
Would they agree to a salary review in 6 months?
Would they agree that if the church store business slows, they would create compensatory tasks for you so your income would be guaranteed not to drop if that happened? (If it were me, I'd want them to say, yes, you could polish the candlesticks, help with RE part-time, or whatever...). I would ask for something like that so they accept that they are making a commitment to me.
The only difference I see between the church store and pure private sector (furniture store) is that the former might have some ethical hesitation about layoffs, that the latter would not. And you're right about the economy.
I believe MLM success, real success, is rare as hen's teeth. In a shaky economy, expensive supplements get replaced by drugstore brands in many people's budgets, I'd think.
Furniture...well, if things get really bad people will buy second-hand or make do. So it does seem like an unsafe industry for bad times. Would either job give you health insurance or any other benefits? That could be a deciding factor.
I guess if you can't move (I understand why) I would do everything in your power to scale back consumption...clothes, extras, entertainment, prepared foods. Build an emergency fund.
(Like I haven't.)
love,
Hops
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Good advise. Both offer good benefits. The bookstore would be so much more flexible but I really cannot even consider something that is half of what I get now. I could scale back but I do not think we go overboard as it is. I guess I could do the old cash and envelope budget where you put the money in each envelope and that is ALL you get to spend until next pay check...
Furniture store I could reasonable make a lot more money but I know they are hiring dozens of people. The store is under construction so until it is done next Spring the floor may be a bit flooded with employees.
I still haven't heard from the Clinique people//////my gut is they are not going to offer it to me. When I called on Wednesday they said another person "popped" up. She told me she would probably know by Thursday.........well, it is officially Saturday and no word. This leads me to believe I will receive a Dear John letter. They also had a Sales Manager position and I wondered if they might consider me for that.......who knows??
I know I can take the job at the furniture store. I predict our store will go belly up anyway. I would rather get out now rather than when I was forced out.
To be free from mom is the ultimate goal, though, isn't it???
I want to build my Vision For Life business and for some reason I am kind of frozen................paralyzed and I do not know why.......almost like I make myself fail because of my mom. Like a self fulfilling prophecy. I need to get out there. It is truly ground floor in Iowa and I see Monavie growing like crazy but my product is so much better...
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Hi OC
I must have missed...being Cdn?... that you were in a MLM scheme. I have to agree with Hops on this.
I frankly cannot see someone who joins well after the pyramid has begun, ever make it.
My N sister was in Amway for twenty years. She swore by their products and was overwhelmed with thoughts of wealth beyond belief, diamonds, yachts, etc and every month she made the trek to a meeting whereby she listened to all this again..She was angry with me for not becoming her 'down-line'. She is out now
A gal here was in a Pyramid scheme with Nutrametics. She had a few customers, but she bought more for herself because of a discount? She asked me to help her keep personal and business straight and she was not posting a personal expense from personal to business. She thought she was loaded, and wasn't. She is out now
The friends who just came to visit were in Essential Oils and it took all my determination to not buy anything just for their sake. They are out now.
Well there are more but all those cement blocks at the bottom of the pyramid will not move up when there are really heavy ($loaded$) blocks at the top ....maybe 3,4,5, are millionaires, but if my pushy sister spent 20 years at Amway, well, she was still poor when she left.
I apologize for being so negative, as I usually say to myself that I would never destroy a person's hope, a person's dream, as that might be all they have.
Love
Izzy
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Back again OC
so follow the money
Where are people always spending money?
At fast food Restaurants? Yep
Gas stations? Yep
Grocery stores? Yep
On Booze? Yep----set up your own delivery business at $10.00 a pop (+ item) within city limits and $15.00 outside the limits. (Gas) Oh--maybe free delivery within x km (like my chinese food restaurant)
On Cigarettes? Yep---maybe add cigs on your delivery --business card
You won't need an inventory on the last two, your husband might drink it up. Does he smoke? Just pickup when the calls come.
Advertise on Personals too or? ---gee I've never done this. I just started a list of where the money goes!...
I'll design you a Business Card! You can set your hours to suit you, but don't become a bootlegger. I had an Aunt (Nelly) who bootlegged baack when--anyway the cops looked the other way, as they came as customers too.
Love
Izzy
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I agree with what you say about MLM. Unless you are in at the ground floor. Well, that is where I am with this company. That is why I think there is potential because I saw some people really make it with Arbonne because they got in first.
So we will see....I will do this..............I am going to start doing it again regardless....
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Counter Manager job...............got the let down today. Of course, I can still do the furniture if I choose......the church? They blew me off!! My h is so mad he was ranting and raving and says he is going to email the pastor and maybe stop going to that church.
I seriously am the most qualified person for the job. I was at my job and a customer came in and told me they had offered her the position at the church bookstore. They had told me it was between me and another guy.....I felt like I was punched in the gut..
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Gosh OC, that is just devastating. I am so terribly sorry. I suspect I would feel much like your husband. What a terrible way to learn. And how dishonest. That would be bad enough is some potential employer you would never see again had lied to you but your own church --- gosh....
That's so disappointing - just hard to take in. I can't tell you how sorry I am.
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Dear OC
What a blow! I am so sorry it happened!
One disappointment after another....not fun.
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I am sorry, Kelly. I can tell that you have many qualities that would make an employer very happy. I really see it as their loss . I know that an NM is the worst, Kelly. I know how much it hurts to have to be in close contact with her.
I am so sorry about your struggles.
You are a winner ,Kelly. You have beautiful children and grandchildren.
Inside you, you are special. Ami
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Thanks everyone. The lady who came in and told me they offered her the job turned it down. I have not heard anything. I sent the guy another email a few days back and told him even if they offered it to someone else they could use me part time to help with display, etc. Nothing. I had emailed them two years ago and offered my assistance.....nothing.
Oh well. The lady at the cosmetics counter said they offered the job to another candidate. But, she told me to continue applying because it was just the Clinique thing that did not work out. So I applied for a Sales Manager position.....
I also applied for a job as a District Manager. This job I would be in charge of Lincoln, Omaha, Des Moines and Cedar Rapids. THey have these people who go around and take newborns first photos.....I would be in charge of hiring the staff. That sounds fun since I grew up in Omaha, have family in CR and live in DM. I went to college in Lincoln....
The furniture store is a done deal. It starts Oct 20....but I am still not completely sure I want to make that job.....I probably will. The new competition is doing a great job of marketing.......I hate this feeling...
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Kel,
I am so impressed with you.
You are taking some hits and you are NOT GIVING UP.
Not letting the losses define your future.
I am excited for you, because your grit and determination IS GOING TO GET YOU A GOOD JOB.
love,
Hops
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I do have a resolve that I will find a great thing............and even if I take one job and then find a better one, at least I will be away from the major stressors in my life...not just my mom but the drama!!! The furniture store thing would not require ANY management and that seems so good. No extra duties with less pay. Just sell, sell, sell.............no mom, no marketing, no hiring, no drama.......just me doing what I do best - sell!
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So I interviewed (phone) for the DM position and the guy liked me. Now we will see if the lady who I have a face to face interview will like me.....meanwhile my old boyfriend and I have been talking a lot. Flirting...
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meanwhile my old boyfriend and I have been talking a lot. Flirting...
Why, Kelly?
That will up the drama level again, right when you are anticipating some calm in your life. What do you think is going on with that?
Hope you get the perfect job for you, Kelly. I have found that being happy with your work can be very satisfying--even with long hours...
Love
CB
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Yes. I would make less money but I would be more satisfied. I could put us on a budget because we make enough money....we just overspend. So even if my income goes down, I can make a little extra money doing my Vision For Life.
Well, talking to the exboyfriend is probably not a smart thing to do. He is going through a divorce and came to me. I told him I had no inclination to have an affair and all that. I did admit that I was in a marriage with an alcoholic and I have decided that I would confront my h on his drunkenness......if anything ever happened with the ex boyfriend it would be AFTER my marriage ended. Plus he is spinning because of an affair his wife had with his best friend. He is in no state to jump into something else. I have learned the hard way that rebounds are not healthy.......
I think what makes me so excited about this District Manager position is 1. I would not be trapped in a building for 8 or 10 hours. 2. I could listen to great teaching tapes while I am on the road 3. I can factor V4L contacts into my travels 4. It will look great on a resume so if I can find something better down the road I will have more experience than just being a christian retailer for 15 year..............
I am psyched about it....it sounds like such a fun and fulfilling adventure.....
I accepted the job at the furniture store and it starts on Oct 20 so I have ten days to see if the other one works out....
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Dear Kelly
I think you are doing so well woth the job situation! I am waiting to hear what happens. Ami
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Hey Kell,
You seem to have a handle on all things going on. You came a long way. And congratulations on the job...on everything!
Feels good right?....Go Kell.
Love
Deb
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So I called the guy at the church....just basically told him I hadn't heard and was wondering what the status was of the job.......he finally called back and he told me that the person who was already working in the store they were watching her.......(I thought it was a him) He thought she did great so they gave the part time job to her.
Now imagine this. This is a 7000 member church......huge. Growing even more. But they are treating it like a small church. Part time to run a bookstore which is probably doing 1/5 of what it could? But I am glad in a way....I do not want to get involved with church politics........I do not like how it feels. Christians let me down over and over again...
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And the lack of consideration in not letting you know.
I'm sorry Kel, but I agree you're better off not working there.
xo
Hops
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OC - there is so much about the way the church bookstore guy treated you that is just wrong and very painful. First he is lieing to you b/c you already know that he offered the job to that lady who was in your store so he wasn't always looking at the part-time employee PLUS why would you want to work for such a small-minded person who doesn't even see the HUGE potential for what is possible.
It actually hurts to even read how he treated you. But it might help for you to remember how important it is to learn this now. The furniture store sounds great to me. I kept my mouth closed but from the beginning I thought it sounds good.
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Yeah, don't these people know that when you have a church that is exploding you need to try to keep up?? My h is mad enough to maybe even stop attending there...
The furniture store is good but it is every single weekend..........without exception unless you have a wedding or something.......the District Manager position is travel but the furthest away place is 3 hours and you go there one day every three or four weeks...I like the idea of not being stuck inside somewhere.....I would hate a job where I sat behind a desk....
But thanks for saying that. I know I have that job. I know it. I just hope that I do not take it and then the economy turns even worse and no one buys furniture. Plus she was going to put me in the sofa area but they have too many people so they are putting me in bedroom furniture...
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Dear Kelly
You seem like you have more hope for your life,now. I can hear that. I admire your strength. Ami
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I had an interview with the REgional Sales Manager.................I think she liked me although I had a nightmare about it last night.......I will know on Monday if I get this job (a traveling job.....) so I will go to the furniture store on day one and then if they offer me the job on Monday, I will call and tell them I got a different job...
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I hope you will have options. This person is the Regional Sales Manager for what type of business? Is this the cosmetics counter job?
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Good Luck, OC
It will fall into your lap when you least expect it!
I was job hunting when I took D and left the alcoholic. It was 2 months, but one day the noon news was on and in the middle, jobs were posted; one was right up my alley.
Happened to be a day Joe had come to see D and me and we were staying at Mom's having liinch, but Mom would not turn off the news for the Queen of England. (She and I both, at the kitchen table, were keeping one eye on the TV and one on lunch and company.)
(I got the job.)
xx
Izzy
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No, GS, they offered the job to another for the Cosmetic Counter Manager. My mom and I went in there on Sunday to buy me a new coat for my birthday and I saw them training the new manager....a blonde!!! Brunette abuse!!!
No, this job is for a company which goes into hospitals and takes baby's first photo. It was ironic because we had just bought some for my daughter and her new baby. Then i read it was in Omaha and Lincoln and Cedar Rapids and Des Moines. I live in Des Moines, grew up in Omaha, went to college in Lincoln and have family in CR. I think this is the perfect job for me.....
I will not know until next Monday
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Fingers, toes, and many hairs crossed for you...
sounds like a joyful job.
xo
Hops
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fingers crossed here too!!
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Thinking of you ,Kelly and wishing all the best for you! Ami
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Well, I am having a melancholy day......the gal who interviewed me for the District Manager position for the baby photography company told me to call with any questions. Her email was on the card so I dropped her an email and thanked her for the interview. I also asked her a couple questions. She has not responded which makes me believe she is blowing me off because they are leaning towards another candidate. I just do not know. I have had so many disappointments. I will start the furniture sales position on Monday but I am not as excited about that as I am the other.......I just wish God would bless me with the perfect job so I can not look back...
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Hey Kel, it's Saturday...maybe she's doing other things???
If it turns out that Monday is your day for a new chapter...go into that furniture business with joy in your heart.
You are free.
xxxxooo
Hops
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Thinking about you OC. Eager to hear what is going on!!!
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No, this job is for a company which goes into hospitals and takes baby's first photo. It was ironic because we had just bought some for my daughter and her new baby. Then i read it was in Omaha and Lincoln and Cedar Rapids and Des Moines. I live in Des Moines, grew up in Omaha, went to college in Lincoln and have family in CR. I think this is the perfect job for me.....
I will not know until next Monday
Sounds wonderful!
Hope you are enjoying your lovely little baby granddaughter.
Thoughts of you.
Leah x
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Hi Kelly
Thinking of you and hoping for good things for you! Ami
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Hi All!! Well, this is how it all played out......I started at the furniture store this last Monday. I called in sick to worik. They let me off at noon so I went into work and told them my headache was better. No word from the baby picture taking company. So I sent my mom and the rest of the management team telling them I would continue to work part time at the store until the end of the year (doing this because the training pay at the furniture store is not enough to get by on for twelve weekis!!)
Then yesterday I got a Dear John email from the baby picture taking company. The only thing that makes me feel good is he said it was a very difficult decision but they went with someone with more experience in that kind of job. Then I have to admit I was relieved that I would not be traveling all the time.
So I talked to my mom and she was nice about it. She told me I had to do what I had to do.
I had such a pep in my step yesterday that I went to Jazzercise.....I am happy. I cannot wait.....
Then both my kids told me if I start making the big bucks at the furniture store, maybe then I can consider leaving my husband......although we have been getting along pretty good and he is drinking quite a bit less......but we will see what happens when I am working all weekends...............
Thanks for listening and being there for me.........I think I have jumped...!!!
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Dear Kelly
' You have so many good qualities which I have seen since I have known you. You have get courage,a great sense of humor, warmth, care for others and a good sense of self(even though you may not see it b/c of NM damage)
I am happy for you! Ami
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I wish you well, OC
I often, if ever, play my cards in advance, then I don't have to explain why I had a bad hand. The JINX thing.
Just keep a-lookin' and a-searchin' and a-hoofin' it...just keep a-hopin', a-prayin' that someone is payin' it!
I was never looking for a job in such bad times!
Take anything and they know you are serious?
Love
Izzy
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Feeling good. I started my job last Monday. Trained for five days and go in on Monday and do it again. I am itching to sell. I see customers come in and I want a piece of the action. I am biding my time. I know I will do well.
I called my mom and she seems a little sad. My dad and her went on vacation and left the day after I told her I was leaving. She told me she just wants me to be happy. Oh, yes, mother, if that was the case you would have retired a long time ago..............but I am happy to be doing something else. Yes, I work many more hours and do not have the flexibility but I will make more money and my mom does not have the final say in my life!!!
I love that. And soon enough, she will retire. And then it is MY decision whether I go back or not.........probably not because she will run it into the ground....
But I am happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You would not believe the weight that has been relieved!!! I jumped I jumped I jumped!!!!
And even though we found out my h got laid off for the months of Nov and Dec and I am on that time of the month...............I do not care!!! It is all gonna work out!!!!
Love, Kellyi
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That is so fantastic,Kelly. I bet you are a great sales person. I am so, so happy for you. I am awaiting updates! Ami
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Been training on the computer at work...........leaving everyone in my dust!! Easy as pie!!!!!
Cannot wait to vote and have the economy turn around!!! Selling furniture.......so much fun!! I will make some great money and I am so happy about it!!!
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Great news Kelly. I was thinking about you when I logged on. Have been looking for an update. It sounds so great. I am filled with joy and hope for you - love to you - GS
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(((Kelly))
You jumped: )
Lighter
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Hi KELLY!
Congratulations! I sell, too...after a lifetime writing/editing for a living, and I really enjoy what I'm doing.
It helps when you believe in what you're selling, and I like our product.
But I really enjoy being a type of salesperson who is enthusiastic but not pushy, I like to laugh with customers, and I really enjoy the problem-solving aspect of what we do. It is service, for real.
I bet you're great at it, and I know you'll succeed!
hugs,
Hops
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I am happy for you, Kelly.
I bet you feel proud of yourself. You made a big accomplishment! Ami
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HOW LONG HAVE YOU GUYS BEEN HEARING ME BITCH ABOUT WORKING WITH MY MOM!!! AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME??? I DID IT!!
AGAIN, THE GUYS IN COMPUTER CLASS DO NOT GET IT. TO ME, IT IS SOOOOO EASY......
CANNOT WAIT TO GET OUT ON THE FLOOR.......AND YES, HOPS, IT IS ABOUT SERVICING THE CUSTOMER, NOT SELLING. I CONSIDER MYSELF THEIR DECORATOR-NOT THEIR SALESPERSON.......IN FACT I WAS THINKING OF HAVING A PIN MADE WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON IT.
I AM NOT A SALEPERSON, I AM YOUR PERSONAL DECORATING CONSULTANT!
I SENT AN EMAIL TO THE STAFF!!!! THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG!!!
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Hiya OC
I am so happy to hear that you are away from your NM.
The wisest, and maybe the hardest, move you have made?
The very best to you!
Love
Izzy
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Thanks to all. In a way I think everyone at my store is relieved. Relieved that they do not have to be exposed to the obvious turmoil between my mom and I. My aunt is already going to hire her daughter in law (taking care of HER family is of the utmost importance to her.......) She will step into my come and go as I please mode. She gets what she wants. I get what I want. Everyone will eventually tire of my mom and leave......I predict it.......but it does not matter to me.....I am free!
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Congratulations
((( Kelly )))
Enjoy!
With every good wish for happiness and success in your new job.
Love,
Leah
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So proud of you Kelly. You really showed great strength and resolve. That is an extraordinary step of courage and a wonderful beginning to truly taking care of Kelly. I am so glad for you - your friend - Gaining Strength
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Yea!! A little scared. My legs and feet really hut after a long day.....I think I am too old for this!!! I have another job interview today for a position I applied for before the furniture store and I thought they had blown me off.......we will see............always have my antannae up!!
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You are doing really well, Kelly.I think that you really showed your strength and independence. Ami
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So they loved me at the new retail store and offered me a position as store manager. Problem is.........it is a huge cut in pay but there are advancement opportunities. Meanwhile at the furniture store I am burning out by the end of the day and just cannot do it anymore. By the time I have been there nine hours I am spent.....I also applied for a sales trainer position at the furniture store.....we will see......I have to tell the lady by tomorrow....
meanwhile, my former boyfriend (before my husband....my h was a rebound from this boyfriend who went back with his wife........when he saw he was happy with me, she came running back....they have four kids................so now she is off with another man..............anyway, he has been contacting me and he came into the furniture store and there was a connection.....
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Dear Kelly
i think you are writing about your old b/f b/c you know that it is not right for you and you want others to agree with your basic instincts. *I* cannot judge. YOU know that.
I can just say that it seems that you are looking for a pain killer .
I understand ,but the cure could be worse than the disease.
Thank you for all the help and love you have given me on the board. I always will hold you dear.
Keep talking about your dilemma. You need friends to help. Ami
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You write that you are burned out by the end of your shift but are you selling? Perhaps you can negotiate the long hours. How does the sales trainer position pay? Would that be less stressful and pay a decent salary? Stay with the furniture company as long as you can.
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Thank you both for comments, GS and Amii...................the former boyfriend is just a diversion.......we are talking and he is a wonderful man and we can talk. My husband rages at me and is truly boring and angry....I have told you all about his drinking. Well, now he is not drinking but he goes on and on.....I wanted to talk about my job and our future and all he could say was I AM NOT TAKING A PART TIME JOB TO MAKE UP THE DIFFERENCE!!! This while he is laid off for two months and is bringing in nothing but I go home and he has dirty dishes strewn all over the place. I pick them up and put them in the dishwasher after a twelve hour day.....
I plan to go into the HR manager and ask her about the training position. I will tell her the truth......that while I applied at the furniture store I had also applied other places. One of the other places offered me a job. Then I will tell her that I do not think I am cut out for the long hours............plus it is crazy.............on a weekday there will be like 18 people in my department. Every customer is approached 12 times before they are half way through the department. Yesterday, one of the customers stuck his hand out like a stop sign and said REALLY I AM JUST LOOKING!! I CANNOT GET TWO STEPS WITHOUT SOMEONE APPROACHING ME!! And it is true. Right now I have to split my sales and no, I haven't sold much. I don't want to sell much because it doesn't go into MY pocket but my trainers. The week of Thanksgiving I go solo.........
But oh, my aching back!!! And today my h was yelling at me and I called him on it. I told him I wasn't sure if I loved him and when his dad moves up (in a couple of weeks) he should get a three bedroom place so he can move in with his dad. Then he started backpeddling. Let's talk.............what? A minute ago you were yelling at me, I call you on it and NOW you want to talk???
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Keep drawing your boundaries Kelly. Keep taking care of yourself.
I am so sorry that the furniture job is killing you. 12 hour shifts are very long to be on your feet. My body would be worn out. Just keep pushing for yourself and don't give up. Something will level out for you. Don't give up. - GS
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I think you did the right thing with your H. Maybe you should have him move out for a while until he decides what he wants. He also still should probably go to AA, as it seems he is a "dry drunk." That is when you aren't drinking, but you carry the same traits as when you are. Without some sort of program, he will either drink again or just comtinue to be an angry person.
You are doing great and should be very proud of yourself for trying your hardest to make changes!!!!! I hope you sell a ton at Thanksgiving, when the commission will be yours.
Love, Beth
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You are a human being working in a store where human beings come to look at stuff.
Forget all the sales pressure training crap.
Find your own way around it, so you just meet people to person.
You're a good egg and you can just serve and help...and let go of the outcomes.
I think you'll do great. You can't pump yourself up for it like the Hindenberg or you'll pop.
Be NICE to yourself, hon. Let the dirty dishes sit until he notices them.
You get some pretty paper plates and eat in a pretty bedroom, unwind.
Hon, I'm sorry. You're trying too hard. It won't be perfect.
love to you,
Hops
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Yes, I learned a "sales process" to follow like...............Hi welcome to our store, thanks for coming in.....what brings you in today?? Well, most people say JUST LOOKING!!!! So you just be nice and some people let you in and some do not............no breathing down their neck.
I told the clothing store I could not work for them since it was a $17,000 drop in pay.....
My h and I had a blow up and we pretty much decided to divorce and then he came crawling back.......asking for another chance........
The ex boyfriend and I are talking but I really do not feel anything there other than friendship......
I keep applying because I want the perfect perfect...........so I will not settle.......I'll keep looking...........but at least I am away from mom!!!
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You are doing great. When you finally pulled the plug it really shakes things up. They are on the upswing but there is turmoil on the way. You are finally taking care of yourself. It doesn't feel good while things are still shaking out. Just wait and be patient. See how things settle and then you will know what changes to make.
Trust yourself. You are doing a great job!!!
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I really AM excited!!! Things are turning around for me.......
My ex boyfriend and I went to lunch................after lunch he told me "I want to be honest with you.....I do not know what I want......." Meaning, I am not sure there is anything between us........and good, I do not want to go there........I am going to try to work it out with h............he hasn't drank...............he CAN be a jerk.....
But I am excited about not working with my mom....... :D
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Dear Kelly
It sounds as if you are stepping in to an affair. I am not judging. I just want to let you know how it feels to me so that you look at it clearly and make a decision, not just fall in to it. Ami
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No, Am, I realized it is NOT what I want and I think he feels that way too.........................back to my senses
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I am glad you made that decision, Kelly, cuz it seemed like it would bring you more grief ,not less. . I wish I was wiser when I was younger ,so I didn't have to learn the truth of life,now. KWIM? Ami