Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on September 30, 2008, 02:50:37 PM

Title: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Overcomer on September 30, 2008, 02:50:37 PM
So at 10 am I get a call at work and it is a guy I haven't seen for 33 years.  Nice guy.  I was a sophomore and he was a senior.  Apparently he liked me a lot.  So we had a nice chat.  He has been married for 26 years and happy.

So then I get another call - another blast from the past.  This was a boyfriend right before my husband...........we got serious and then his ex-wife wanted him back.  He dumped me and went back with his wife.  After the fact I was happy because they have four children.

So he calls me and wants to talk to me.  He basically said he wished we could get back together.  It was weird.  I told him I was married.....it was awkward.

So I keep wondering.  No, there isn't anything there but you all know how I am about my husband.  The timing is so weird....
Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Izzy_*now* on September 30, 2008, 04:48:40 PM
Yes, OC, weird

and if I were younger in that position....well I wouldn't have this board to guide me and wouldn't have figuerd out what was wrong with me, and always going for the wrong/bad guy---I would make the mistake in picking up with someone who was a better __.

Hmmmm. I am at a loss for a word to follow better. I guess I am old and cannot remember, or the board has cleaned up my mind. Heh, Heh, Heh,

Izzy  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:
Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: lighter on October 01, 2008, 09:32:36 AM

I think people tend to get sentimental about the past, when they're having hard times.

That your ex boyfriend thought of you is nice.....

that he called.....

 is innapropriate.

Whew.... bet you're glad that phonecall's over.

Lighter
Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Ami on October 01, 2008, 05:54:06 PM
Dear Kelly
 I think I am coming to the conclusion that 10 thousand Prince Charmings can not cure me. This pain and grief from an NM can be taken away temporarily by things from the outside,such as attention,but it will return .
 I am not trying for outside fixes any more b/c they don't work.
 I am feeling the grief and pain and hope that I will be whole,one day.           Ami
Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Izzy_*now* on October 01, 2008, 06:26:47 PM
hi Ami

I have to agree with you.

I did it alone without books, without a therapist

....so to speak, as they just didn't get it, yet having a listening ear helps, especially if the therapist 'reacts' at something really bad or very good......

I left my second last therapist as we were going nowhere and she didn't know what voiceless was re a child.

Now this last one, only 4 visits, and one last one to pick up some things of mine and have a 'visit'. I told him at the outset, that I had put it all together and would he please listen and comment only when I stated something that didn't ring true. So I did most of the talking and he agreed with me on the majority of what I said---the main being...I put my siblings on the toxic list.

But I have solitude

Ozzy

Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Overcomer on October 03, 2008, 08:19:59 AM
So the next day I texted him and asked for his email.  He immediately tried to call and I texted back and said..........NO I do not want to talk to you I want your email.

Then I told him I was not interested in an afffair nor would I divorce my h and immediately come running back to him but I would addmit that my h was an alchy and that I was not happy.  But I alsso told him I was done making knee jerk reactions.  That I was moving forward with my life and was no longer going to see men or a new job as a way to get rid of my mom......

it has been cordial..........we have emailed back and forth..............

But seriously....he is shorter than I and over weight and has bad breath.  I fell for him during a vulnerable time in my life.....plus he spoils me.  Everything about his looks is trumped by how he treats me...
Title: Re: Two Blasts From My Past
Post by: Ami on October 03, 2008, 09:34:31 AM
Dear Kelly
 I found a picture of my first boyfriend(14 yrs old) on the internet. He is a professional musician.It brought back  feelings of when I still had hope for my life and some trust in myself.
 I am wanting to find those old traits again.
  I think your gut told you that you made the right decision.