Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on December 17, 2008, 11:39:05 PM
Title: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 17, 2008, 11:39:05 PM
(http://www.slrkelowna.ca/sober2.jpg)
Perhaps the title says it all, but what do you you see in this little girl's expression.
"I'll neve blink again!" ? " I have a stiff neck!"? "My teeth are stuck together with bubblegum!"? " My chin wouldn't stick out this far if I had an overbite!"?
Let's be inventive here!
Iz
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Hopalong on December 18, 2008, 12:14:41 AM
I think she is beautiful. She looks strong. I love her head posture.
And she has amazing eyes.
Hops
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 18, 2008, 06:10:39 AM
Stoic little Sea Captian
Those eyes have seen storms,
small eyes should never have to weather.
Lighter
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: mudpuppy on December 18, 2008, 10:47:21 AM
I vote for lighter's already. I doubt we're going to get a better one than that.
mud
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: sKePTiKal on December 18, 2008, 10:52:54 AM
"You can't tell me who I am, you know. You don't have a clue."
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: debkor on December 18, 2008, 03:28:48 PM
Hey Iz,
When I saw this picture I thought you would be a shoe in for a football picture. The expression is the same when my son's/the team took their picture. I am strong, I am disciplined, I am tuff, no emotion in it, I am a tank.
It's the same look I see also in children who are being disciplined...I have seen the look in my own son when the teachers and I had meetings and it wasn't even discipline..it was a...you don't know Jack about me look...but respectfull ...Voiceless...to which I think he wanted to scream out...(I'm doing the best I can) you can't possibly think you can get in my Head...but I'll sit and do what I'm supposed to do. I am a tank..my feelings will not get hurt..I will continue to listen but you can't get in my head...you can't change me and I do think he experienced some shame from it and I give up for a bit..a whatever it is you want..till I'm out of here...a kind of voiceless from a child who cannot explain fully or have others completely understand what is going on...but the lips solid..kind of frowned....the eyes that look directly at you...disciplined look...I am a tank....says a thousand words, eh...
voiceless maybe from the mouth but the body, the look, the eyes...tell a story without words.
I see a tank Izzy...someone who is a good girl, do as your told, and a whole different needs of a little girl (inside) that she kept their to her own...Like PR said, You don't know me, you have no clue. I am a tank.
and by the way you were a very pretty little girl.
Love Deb
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 18, 2008, 04:14:52 PM
Thank you so much, all you good people, and I loved every post.
EDIT? She was readable, right? Stoic Little Captain
My Real caption on this, from my experience, is
"Smile? I will never smile for you again, Mother!"
This is the first picture of my daughter at age 6 upon our settling into the new apartment when I came out of hospital in 1970.
Tough little one wasn't she? I am flattered that you would think this was a picture of me, and I appreciate all the comments!
I was never that 'determined at age 6.
Love Izzy
Then about age 9.............
[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 18, 2008, 04:49:55 PM
P.S.
In tay's post about Xmas etc., I posted that I sent my D all the photo albums, from age 6 (about 4 of those sombre photos) until her age 18, when she went to the city to work and met the N.
I hope she has a great time going over all these photos. There is really a lot for her to see and try to recall.
xx Iz
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: teartracks on December 18, 2008, 06:58:42 PM
Hi Iz,
I may have gotten in on this late.
Poised, guarded.
Love,
tt
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 19, 2008, 05:21:22 AM
Izz..... by age 6, your d had seen storms (she should never have had to weather.)
Not the same storms (as you,) but......
your being plucked from her life and the lack of empathy from your family....
(when I picture your sister slapping that tiny face bc she cried for mama..... UGH.)
She may have been angry, in the moment, bc she had to stop playing to have her pic made, but....
your real caption broke my heart.
Lighter
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 19, 2008, 02:20:39 PM
Thank you tt and lighter
I suspected back then that these 'sombre' pictures is what had made me believe that the previous year for her had not been a happy one, while I was in hospital. ...that she was 'angry with me'... that's why it always stuck ..and I blamed myself, of course.
As you can see in the later picture I posted, her big smile? all her photos after those initial ones are full of smiles, but a hurt can last forever and be covered up....
I don't recall having a talk with her about this, as the therpaist I was seeing just before the accident (I wrote to him from the hospital, that I was afraid she would forget me) told me to not be 'so stupid', his words...that a child never forgets its mother.... but I would expect abandonment issues in her after all the things I have learned since.
Her storms would be, my taking her when I left her father, and her missing him. She was 2½. For those first years she had total consistency! My suddenly not being there every day as I had to work, and I know her first sitter, my landylady, locked her out of the house. She was not yet 3 when she told me she had to nap on the wet grass. We moved! She lived, with me, 5 different places in 5 years. (Sometimes that is very disrupting to a child) Then the accident and lived 4 more places until I came home.
This post came about because I have just sent all the photo albums to her, and she will see these. I am just wondering if she will note the difference before, during and after in her demeanour.
Quote
your real caption broke my heart.
and I bet you can understand why I came up with it!
Love Izzy
We are okay now, but I often wonder, because of how *I* think, that all is well, but some 'storms' will be ever-present 'for the record'.
Another one! Different outfit.
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 20, 2008, 12:45:15 PM
Was she excited to receive the photo's Izz?
Lighter
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 20, 2008, 03:10:12 PM
By Bus Express it will take about 8 days, so she will let me know when the box is received. (That makes it my door to her door)
Express truck picked up here on Dec. 16, so might be before Xmas, might be after.
will post when I know!
xx Izzy
(I had to make a suitable box out of 2 I had, and when I got going, it took dayszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz to find the end of the clear sticky packing tape, so my sending was about a week later than I wanted.)
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 21, 2008, 08:30:34 AM
Izz.... when was that picture taken.... the original on the thread?
I can't imagine what your d was thinking.
Whether she trusted that you, changed or not, were back to stay.... had to be front and center on her mind.
Thanks for posting the pic of her smiling again...... really.
Hugs to you, my dear...... are you under too much snow right now?
Lighter
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 21, 2008, 12:54:13 PM
Quote
This is the first picture of my daughter at age 6 upon our settling into the new apartment when I came out of hospital in 1970.
Hi lighter
I came from hospital June 5/70 (went out June 6/69 to have the accident)
A little friend of hers from the building is on the sofa beside her, smiling, when I said 'Smile'. Debbie smiled, not D though... There were still school days left in her kindergarten, so this could have been in June , maybe July, (August, Sept, I had colour fillm...it was just invented :lol: ) Dates were on back of pictures now wending their way to her.
Am under much snow, started a week ago past Friday and ploughs still working, (and still snowing, gently though) worst in my 10 years here, colder than history, and I cracked a rib. Finally put my back brace on to 'secure' my trunk.) Haven't been out in 11 days and am using Visa for deliveries.
I suspect she was wondering if I were home to stay, and who was I now, on crutches, in a wheelchair. I suspect she wondered why I did this to her... why she had had to live 3 places while I was gone, why , why, why, ???
These photos made me feel 'guilty' and I realized that I had none of her in the first 3 months, except for after when she went back to her regular 'sitter' to begin kindergarten. She was a doll in her picture, ready for school, and running back home to show C. the picture she made...smiling, happy. Her aunts were the wrong people to have her, but for 6 days I was not coherent enough to live, let alone make decisions. I then decided she go back to C., the sitter, who is still a friend of mine.
I have one of her in Gr. 1 with 2 'boy pals' from her Grade, who lived on our street. She is smiling. We had settled in but her first photos were a haunting bunch.
Izz P. S. Her sitter is Catholic and D was attending C church and crossing herself after grace at mealtimes. Cute!
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Hopalong on December 21, 2008, 11:35:17 PM
Izz, what I see in the photo is her dignity and your beauty, expressed in her...
No guilt, dear...let it fly with the snow.
You have never abandoned her.
love, Hops
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 22, 2008, 05:57:04 PM
Thanks hopalong,
No. No more guilt, but it was there when I first saw these pictures...I saw her "sweet face" not smiling, unhappy, maybe confused, maybe angry....
Hovever, she was smiling soon for all her photos. Love Izzy
[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: teartracks on December 22, 2008, 09:21:07 PM
Hi Iz,
When is the deadlilne for our vote for best caption?
tt
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 22, 2008, 09:43:51 PM
Hi TT
There is/was no deadline.
Lighter's is good Stoic Little Captain and My own was "Smile? I will never smile for you again, Mother!"
However I have already given away the circumstances of the pose--- anything else is appreciated though!
Hops read very much into her expression without knowing!
Your "poised, guarded".. Well Guarded was good! I can sense that!
Fire away now that you know!
xx Izzy
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 23, 2008, 10:23:39 AM
Did you JUST crack a rib, Izz?
Sorry that happened to you..... no matter when it happened.
As for the caption..... I'm sticking with mine.
Light
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: Izzy_*now* on December 23, 2008, 01:47:36 PM
hi lighter
I fell in the bathroom and hit my right back, kidney area on the steel post of my chair. I was very badly bruised and the pain was so bad it was numbing, but soon was just a big bruise.
Then I was trying to take the riser off the toilet and the pole that the therapist had put there, too, was in the way. I had to really stretch to get the pliers onto the wing nut and to use the screwdriver up top. It was hopleless and I pulled my back in that very area.
I emailed her to come and get rid of both and she did.
In the long run, I expect I cracked a rib or , at least, very badly bruised it, then aggravated it to the point I finally had to wear my back brace to immobilize my trunk. There is just a vague sense of it left now, but all I know is that a trip to the Dr. or a hospital would have netted me no more than what I did for myself. (The brace was like taping ribs.)
As for the caption, I still like yours too!
xx iz
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: lighter on December 23, 2008, 02:27:30 PM
:::Sigh:::
Ahhh.... Izz.
That's gotta be tough.... pain on top of having things in your way.
Perhaps you should at least find out if there's a piece of rib floating about?
((((Izzy))))
Title: Re: Caption this! and let's vote on the best!
Post by: teartracks on December 23, 2008, 09:44:52 PM