Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on April 12, 2009, 12:00:10 PM
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In emails with this sister and words of caring and sharing from afar, she answered with odds and ends and then this:
For instance, I dearly love (our brother), yet I have not even sent an e-mail to ask him how he is recovering from shingles, and I have not sent my dear niece, (my Daughter), an e-mail asking about her broken back from when she fell off the roof in January. That doesn’t mean I don’t care at all.
This is a mind boggler! My mother, me, my daughter, all in a wheelchair ? No one told me, not even she! and I am wondering to her "what is wrong" when she didn't view the albums that arrived after Christmas, and had stopped intermittment writing until she asked for her personal information for a long form birth certificate! She said "Nothing is wrong!"
I need help before I make a move!
She NEVER told me. No one did, until a slip in my sister's email, and we were discussing, Caring and Support from afar.
At this point I do not know if the spinal cord was affected. If not, I know of someone who healed and back to nomal in 8 months. If so, then there will be paralysis of full are partial limitation, when healed and rehabilitated.
Please advise me. I know not what to do!--[Edit--or where she is as she set up a new email and I'm sure it was about this time]
IN SHOCK!
and Concern
Izzy
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Dearest Iz,
You must be in a terrible fit of worry.
I can't imagine the depth of the many emotions you must be experiencing. I don't even know what to say. It's all so shocking. There just aren't words to offer up that can touch it all. Please know that I care and I'm so sorry.
I so hope your daughter is doing OK. I too have heard of broken backs healing just fine.
How did your sister find out?
You CAN find out where your daughter is with an online search, but surely there's a way to connect with her about this aside from through the back door.
I'm in the reactive mode about this right now.
I'm speechloess, and apalled and shocked at it all.
Love,
tt
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Is there a chance your sister is being dramatic?
"Broken back" can mean a broken vertebra that then heals...
Lord I hope so.
I am sure if something has happened your D didn't want to worry you...
but it's awful you didn't know.
I'm just saying you DON'T KNOW whether she's wheelchair bound,
or whether she had a month in bed...
Please ask your sister to tell you what happened.
I'm so sorry Izz...try not to painic over it, you don't need panic.
But Lord, woman. You have had quite ENOUGH to deal with this week.
love and support and comfort---------breathe breathe breathe.
I think meditation is in order. Seriously.
Me too.
love to you,
Hops
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TT
The thing is, I have been receiving emails and just 2 days ago, this short one:
Mom:
I am glad to hear you are home safe and almost sound, your femur excepted. I am sorry to hear you are in such pain. I hope you get well soon.
A
If she fell in January, and has never mentioned a broken back, I don't know what this means? She's never mentioned. I am at my wit's end, that she wouldn't want me to know, yet the thing is, I couldn't do ANYTHING there that I can't do from here .....words and worry only.
So I am in denial of a sort, like on a tightrope. If it is a healable break and back to normal, she will be fine, but if the spinal cord is involved there could be temporary to permanent paralysis and I don't know.
My sister let it slip and I replied mentioning this and asked if it were a slip.......... because I hadn't known.
Now I await a reply from my sister, and she will reply but I know is celebrating Easter Sunday. I won't call until I find out if my D wants me to know! That just seems like the right way to handle it if she will be better and KNOWS that I cannot go back there for her and be useless if I did! I have too much respect for people's wishes and if this is hers I will respect them and she will be better before Christmas and tell me all!........?
I feel as though in la-la -land, but if my sister knows, then so do others back in Ontario and I expect all have agreed not to tell me out here in BC.
Do you know why anyone would apply for a long form birth certificate? She emailed me for answers to many questioins on Jan 30 and prior to that was an email that states:
have been busy puttering and swimming at the pool and spending time at the gym... got out of the habit in the fall and am trying to get back into it.
Hang on, new email from sister--
Oh my bad but good!!!!
I sent A. an e-mail that you had been hurt and she phoned me to find out details. She told me then about her accident. I believe that there is no neurological damage. A. is in a body cast and will be able to return to work in August. She can move about now but gets tired after a couple of hours.
I think the ladder slipped on ice that A. didn’t see and fell out from under her. She landed in a semi-sitting position, causing a fracture of two vertebrae, T12 and L1. She did not need surgery nor does she have any spinal cord damage.
I asked her if you knew, since you hadn’t mentioned it, and she said she hadn’t been talking to you and I asked if I ought to tell you and she had no objection. I had that uppermost in my mind to tell you when you let me know that you were home, but so much time passed before I heard from you that I didn’t realize I hadn’t told you. I apologize for that; it must have come as quite a shock. Your prayers regarding no spinal cord injury have been answered. But, as you say, there will be a long healing process and you, of all people, will know how tough that will be for A. and – by extension – for you.
Well, by cracky, she is her mother's daughter. We don't waste $$$ on the telephone and to never have hers answered would be par for her busy days. However, to never answer mine would raise a flag, after a few days.
hiya Hops
I saw you get in there. As you can see, it was a slip and with so little info I stayed in denial until I heard. Three hours difference, so Sis is eating dinner with her family and wouldn't be checking emails. now she has cleared it up.
Just as we all would hope for, after the words 'broken back'.
If she had been paralysed, her emails would not have arrived on their semi steady basis. She would have been in hospital on a strycker frame, and far more distraught than thinking, "This,too, shall heal!"
Thank you both for your kind words. I have to wait a bit so that I don't become overwrought on the phone with the up, down and up of today.
Love all
Izzy
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((((((((((((((((((Iz & Daughter))))))))))))))))))),
As you shake all of this new and better news out and put it in the best possible perspective.
I feel so helpless to say the right thing.
Love,
tt
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Lordy, Izz.... what a fright.
Glad to hear your daughter will heal.
It would have been nice to hear it in a less dramatic way, however.
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Hi all,
This drama was uncalled for, from whomever's opinion. I suspect my sister has heard wrong or switched proper terms,
D's T12 anf L1 vertebra were fractured--to me is different than a broken.
She is not in a body cast, but a brace, and is recovering nicely.
I suspect we can say it was a close call but the need for this drama just made it worse, as she sent a very cool response to me over all the questions and concerns
(I've had a fractured ankle, so hospital wrapped in in a tensor bandage. I've had a broken ankle and it was casted.)
Heard in a less dramatic, yet nonchalant way---right!
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OY, Izzy.......
just OY.
I'm speechless.
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Izzy,
First I am relieved to hear that your D will make a full recovery. Thank God.
You have had a hella two weeks Izzy.
There is a lot of recovery going on for quite sometime Iz for you Physical and Emotional. There is also for your D.
It was a terrible way for you to find out what has happened and a Shock and it hurts.
There is so much damage that has happened All Around and Many things that have been worked out talked about and somethings yet to be.
Inbetween a Trauma/Injury to you both. You as Mom always will worry and have concern even if your D was 107 years old. And as strong as you are Izzy so is your D. You said it, She is her Mothers D.
She is taking care of her recovery with...I am fine, Cooly..Nonchalant...it is what it is and God Knows what really is going through her (emotions). I'm sure they are on a daily basis Ups and Downs. She may be depressed, angry, tired and simply don't want to talk about it. It's been a Trauma.
And it feels Shitty to be met so Cooly...and to the point with Facts.. but sometimes that is all they can do. They just don't want to talk about it and have 2,000 question concerned worried Mom being a pain in thier Ass even though we need to have our Concern's met. They just can't do it at the moment.
Oh Izzy I was told by my S before he was put on a helicopter he Hated Me. He did not. He hated everything that has happened to him and I got blasted and had to take it for he was in Great Pain in all Ways.
I was also met cooly with his last recent injury. I had 8 zillion questions and out of my mind with worry which was a Pain in the Ass to him because he just didn't want to talk about it. He was still healing and still Injured *emotional* long after he healed physical.
Give it some Time Izzy as Sucky as This Feels at the moment...You both need to Heal from *Shock* alone on top of everything else.
Love to you Izzy
Deb
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Thanks
tt
Mo2
PR and
deb.
I copied my D's reply to my sister, noting that I felt it cool.
She replied with:
Well, I am glad that you and A. have been in touch. One can do only the best one can do at any given time.
Sis told me broken back...cast
A. said fracture..brace
Sis did not mention the difference, nor that A had improved, or anything....................... nothing other than the above.
Are there 'good' people out there who lie, exaggerate, modify, whatever on a steady basis to protect their own image? I expect the answer is yes!
Had Sis repeated correctly, in her shoes I'd have said, "Great! Now that is an improvement since I talked with her".
xx
Izzy
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Izzy.... it really sounds like your sister's emotionally distanced from everyone and everything.
That she doesn't understand it and can't figure it out...... but realizes something's askew.
She probably wasn't listening closely when your d was explaining what was going on.
I can't think she knew how much pain and upset she caused when she flippantly wrote out the wrong information.
I really don't think she's aware of what she does.
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I cannot disagree with you, Mo2
...so with all the work I've been doing on myself, I have made the comment on and off. Maybe they (the siblings) are the "off" ones, not me. Or maybe we were all 'off' and I am the only one ro recognize it.
If Sis is not seeing things from an emotional POV, then that would be why she might have thought it unnecessary to bring A. to me more than once, 40 years ago.
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Izzy,
I am thinking *ditto* with Mof2.
Deb
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Hey Iz,
Yes I do believe that is so.
I'm starting to think Izzy that her taking care of your D in every day life, food, clothing, ect maybe was what she thought taking care of your * Needs even emotional needs* was. I know it sounds strange but truly she knows nothing on how to show them. I don't think she's void of them Iz.
How do you show what you were not taught you CAN or that you Even know how to get it out there?
For instance, I dearly love (our brother), yet I have not even sent an e-mail to ask him how he is recovering from shingles, and I have not sent my dear niece, (my Daughter), an e-mail asking about her broken back from when she fell off the roof in January. That doesn’t mean I don’t care at all.
I could be crazy here but this sounds to me like *remorse* and the best she can do because she pretty much to (me) as I see it is saying She SUCKS at *emotional support* does not know how to express it and is sorry for this. And that something is Off with her Expressing iit but not in those exact words. She is still a long way OFF and distant from Most Probably her own emotional POV never mind anyone else's.
I think you Izzy may be bringing out that it's alright to examine *emotions* as distance they might be to her...Does it not seem that she is starting to think about things? No?
I don't know. What do I know.
Just thinking.
Love
Deb
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Interesting Deb,
VERY!
I sure see your point. My 3 sisters are alike. When far younger I had emotional needs, love, caring, support, from parents and siblings, but I was looked upon as strange, became a loner and no one acknowledged me. I was the scapegoat, and thought all along that I was the odd one.
I have gone from therapist to therapist in search of where I'd gone wrong...and a few times wondered why "they had it all and I had nothing but their taunts."
As in my previous post, I wonder if things were crossed up?
I recall another sisiter saying I don't LOVE all of you, but I do care.
Back to this sis, she wrote to me over this incident,"You don't deserve this!" I take that as support.
I'm not quite sure why, but that meant something to me.
"I'm sorry about your leg" is not much, and you wouldn't believe the # of folks who forget that a car----a killing machine--hit me!
MO2 saying something like
I'll be there
to comb your hair
and bring you Ice cream on a stick. is good. Coming from a distance to make me feel better,
......knowing what someone might need and expressing (or doing) same?
Did she 'love' my daughter for 2½ months in 1969, or just feed and clothe her, and afford her a bed....?
(Blood--don't you just hate it when it's on your apron, then in your veggie bowl, and you don't know the origin.)
A girl-friend coming every week to wash my hair, when I couldn't, knowing how much it would mean to me. Good eh?
Keep thinking deb and keep talking
Love
Izzy
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Hi Izzy-
Oh My Lord. Even with your current physical state and the horrible shock of being " hit by a killing machine", you handle potentially emotionally upsetting events so well- I think your honesty and fairness are key here- no hidden agendas, etc. to dilute the true feelings and thoughts or subvert your actions. You were the odd one, the swan that the ducks did not recognize...
Perhaps your sis sees it now and is attempting to make sense of things and set things right in the best way that she can- I'm glad that she gave you acknowledgement that meant something to you- that is precious.
Love,
C.
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I think your sister sees her own circumstances with emotion....
she seems to draw blanks when applying emotion to the feelings of others, however.
That doesn't mean she's evil.... it means she can't do it.
She doesn't understant that she owes you an apology..... that she should ask for forgiveness.
That doesn't mean she shouldn't be forgiven.
What it means is.....
your expectations, of her, should be in line with reality.
If you choose to provide her with more information about your dire history, that makes sense to me.
Perhaps she will have an epiphany?
However, I wouldn't take up that task until I was healed and feeling better.
I think that pretty much sums up how I felt about this from your first post in the matter.
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Thank you changing
You are so sweet. I have never seen/thought of myself as a swan, but the idea of being the different one is not foreign and therein lies the rub.
and Mo2,
Your post is very interesting. At the time Sis had A. with her and I was in hospital, she was the only sibling not working out. She was home with her 2 girls, one 9 months older and one 9 months younger than My A. (3 cousins in 18 months) Her husband was attending University, they lived free on a farm of his friend, and had little money. I think this period defines her as having risen above the "_______" and both now have a Master's Degree, and daughters are a teacher and a Lawyer.
(I spelled that out because I wonder if they expected financial assistance?) I don't know where any money came from. This set up was their choice. She would buy 2 ply paper and split it into 2-1 ply rolls. I was there once before the crash and she had delicious pea soup. I asked her for the recipe and she wouldn't give it to me. I saw later it was peas from her garden done in a white sauce of proper consistency. That's all. Yes she grew food, and dessert was a heaping spoonful of vanilla ice cream sprinkled with flat jello squares: good but inexpensive. She knew how to pinch pennies.
Into the midst of this, she took on my A. and $50.00 /mo (1969). I had but $12.00 to my name as I crashed, but then anything received in gifts etc went into my bank and I was able to send her that much. A. had a good supply of clothing, as I had made her a number of outfits for that upcoming summer. It is not difficult for me to see that they were in quite the situation, but no one had met A's sitter Colly. A. didn't get to Colly's until time for kindergarten.
Yes I say she sees that time 'as her being the martyr', or sticking to a deal that they never left their girls with 'strangers' by staying home with the girls while hubby bettered himself. I never asked her to take A. This was all decided while I was on death's door. A. was smart enough to say to the first sis who came for her, the one who slapped her, "What about Aunt Ruth with Go-go (The dog!)?"....a gal friend from 1956 who was coming that day for the weekend. Had they asked, A. could have told them who her sitter was, Colly, and that would have saved 3 disruptions in that summer....
Just something about sis' life then.... so true: she sees that life of hers with emotion. So yes, I feel guilty for expecting her to bring A. more than once---the importance of my seeing her---just as their importance that she stay home with theirs, but I never asked how she disbursed the $50. Cheap eh? Babysitters were $10/wk then. I was paying Colly $12/wk.
What apology Mo2 and when? and yes I would, because you are seeing something I am not. I agree she has meant no harm. I think she knows all my history, old at that point,
I better stop trying to think. It is 6:15 and I haven't slept all night, the pain.
Stick with me
Love Izzy
Edit] I need a system to put my leg in this seated position, as I sit
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We know you should have been gifted visits with your child over those months in hospital.
Your sister listened to A cry for you.... she knew too, on some level, as a mother.
She just didn't have the energy or the presense of mind to make it happen, overwhelmed with 2 small d's and a garden and making do, as she did.
She may well have been depressed and struggling with having another little charge in the house..... not understanding she was depressed. Not being able to put it into words bc she doesn't understand either.
That this sister doesn't emotionally terrorize you with alienation and outbursts, when you speak honestly, is a gift, just as her caring for A was a gift.
Family should be able to give, and receive, these kinds of gifts.
A gesture or offer of care and help, in these later years, certainly would have gone a long way in healing past hurts.
I think it's best to always assume people are doing the best they can do, at the time, no matter how poorly they're doing.
It makes it easier to forgive them, at any rate.
Keep growing and healing, Izz.
I'll always stick with you.
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Awwwwwwwww Mo2
You are so sweet to bear with me and spell it out. My mind was drifting and I was losing it and had to go to think.
Edit] I need a system to put my leg in this seated position, as I sit
I needed a seated position for when I lay.
It's what I've thought all these years, an apology or an explanation.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with those thoughts and I see that you, as well, can see that I am grateful she cared for A., but yes....something was amiss. And yes, that was the life they chose, but they didn't do so on the basis of 3 little ones, only 2.
She is the Sis who will try to stay around for the answer, try the most hard to explain, along with me. The other 2........poof!
That this sister doesn't emotionally terrorize you with alienation and outbursts, when you speak honestly, is a gift, just as her caring for A was a gift.
Do you really mean this??????????? Like out of guilt? WOW!
Thank you so much. I'm seeing what I'm saying. What a time in my life!
Love Izzy
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Iz,
Ok what I see from your post about your Life Story which I loved to read is that the family did Care but as far as *emotions* for themselves or POV they ran Flat. Very Flat emotions...Oh My poor dear girl, dear sister...and everything they did was Sensible.
Another words they Never Let Emotions FLY...fall apart, get hysterical, do all the things that One does when *emotions* Are all over the Place and you just let them Fly....
The sensible thing is... You break, we take care of and care for, you heal and you get back into life Oh My Goodness such a terrible thing and where is those* Emotions* that you want to put your fist through a Wall that you Scream and Cry. I don't think anyone could afford to Feel Them what would be the Sense.
Maybe they all have lock boxes of their Own..
That is why you were probably looked upon as Strange as a Child, the Scape goat, You showed *emotions* and were teased because of your NEEDS...NORMAL NEEDS. So you became a loner and did the sensible thing.
That was never enough for you though Izzy. You searched for years to find out Where you Went Wrong but you didn't go Wrong you just went *under ground* with your needs and your feelings.
In the hospital Izzy they should have moved heaven on earth to make sure that you D and you were together As Much as Possible that those Needs that had to be Met were of the Top Importance for you both and for your Healing Process for Family Healing of such a Trauma that had hit the Entire Family.
The *emotional* POV should have bee Everyones Needs and Izzy I just don't think they can Let them FLY...They have to be sensible and that meant.... Life goes on with Everyday Life And when your Sis says... She really Cares... She really Does (I think).
She's thinks about people though with Strong Feelings about them and at the Same time... I noticed that she wrote..Yet I have not sent an email since....which is no excuse why ...but almost like she is saying... I FEEL HUGE FEELING....AND GREAT CARE...yet I suck at getting Emotions out There....BUT I SWEAR I CARE.
And her emotions are flat but I'm trying to read between the Lines....
I see statements Iz.
I dearly love, Dear Niece, I care, Yet, I have not emailed......I see no excuses ...I see her taking responsibility in the, Yet...
with what seems to me like sadness (like she is saying) Please Know I care Although I SUCK at this *emotional* support.
You don't deserve thisThose words say a thousand Words Iz, No?
To say this she has many of feelings and thoughts about you, care, concern, sorrow.
This I believe.. I also think that she has lots of remorse and guilt... Yet I have not
Now the one post where your Sis Blasted your Butt with Curses as she screamed I'm a Christian ..Well ..HOT DAMN IZ ...She lost control and her EMOTIONS were FLYING because as I remember you sent her an Article about Narcissism and I think that ...You hit a Sore Spot....AND SHE WAS PISSED....because I do think she applied that to herself...
Who Knows.. GUILT.. that she buried..Can't Touch THIS.. I AM GOOD...and there goes Freaking Strange Izzy who had all those needs Grown Up and talking about Things that SHE CAN'T TOUCH THIS..
I don't know about that one Iz for you think she may be N and the N I know which I have talked about Narcissist and the Traits directly to her didn't respond that way. She never responded WITH it applied to her and talked about many other people she thought were.
And I think Iz from that Post your Sister was so Pissed she did the .. I'm the rubber your the Glue everything you say Bounces off of ME and Sticks to you. But your sure as hell Triggered Some Thing In her.
There is Lots to Think about Iz and AGAIN I am just thinking ....I don't know Iz but I see Lots of Guilt all over the Place not sure about that one Sister though that was a hella mad at you.
Love
Deb
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Hey Iz,
I tIn emails with this sister and words of caring and sharing from afar, she answered with odds and ends and then this:
I dearly love
yet I have not even sent an e-mail
That doesn’t mean I don’t care at all.
You don't deserve this!"
And add in anything else she has Said to You.
Now what we wrote in separate Post.
sounds like your sister's emotionally distanced
she doesn't understand it and can't figure it out...... but realizes something's askew.
Sis is not seeing things from an emotional POV, then that would be why she might have thought it unnecessary Edit…With Many Things.
know it sounds strange but truly she knows nothing on how to show them.
sounds to me like *remorse* and the best she can do
She SUCKS at *emotional support* does not know how to express it and is sorry for this.
distant from Most Probably her own emotional POV never mind anyone else's.
Does it not seem that she is starting to think about things?
You don't deserve this!" I take that as support.
Perhaps your sis sees it now and is attempting to make sense of things and set things right in the best way that she can
sister sees her own circumstances with emotion....
she seems to draw blanks when applying emotion to the feelings of others, however.
That doesn't mean she's evil.... it means she can't do it.
Just something about sis' life then.... so true: she sees that life of hers with emotion.
I agree she has meant no harm
She just didn't have the energy or the presense of mind to make it happen, overwhelmed with 2 small d's and a garden and making do, as she did.
She may well have been depressed and struggling
not understanding she was depressed.
Not being able to put it into words bc she doesn't understand either
That this sister doesn't emotionally terrorize you with alienation and outbursts, when you speak honestly
She is the Sis who will try to stay around for the answer, try the most hard to explain, along with me.
Do you really mean this??????????? Like out of guilt? WOW!
Care but as far as *emotions* for themselves or POV they ran Flat.
Never Let Emotions FLY...fall apart, get hysterical, do all the things that One does when *emotions*
I don't think anyone could afford to Feel Them what would be the Sense.
Maybe they all have lock boxes of their Own..
Strange as a Child, the Scape goat, You showed *emotions* and were teased because of your NEEDS...NORMAL NEEDS. So you became a loner and did the sensible thing.
The *emotional* POV should have bee Everyones Needs
Life goes on with Everyday Life
I FEEL HUGE FEELING....AND GREAT CARE...yet I suck at getting Emotions out There....BUT I SWEAR I CARE.
also think that she has lots of remorse and guilt...
ook out some things from all Our Post...Go over this... Take what applies and leave the Rest Out.
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Oh Sorry ..
I'm tired and the ending was... Look at everything we wrote and take out what applies and Leave the Rest alone.
Deb
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OMG Deb,
This is Pure Gold! What insight you have about my dysfunctional family. Even I, who lived it, could never have put it this way, as much as my troubled mind was most assuredly trying.
I can see that the rages Dad had that were followed by beatings, shooting cats, beating animals, emptying a gun into the ground (which comes terribly close to wiping out his whole family) and Mom’s tight-lipped response, we children were faced with seeing this.
None of us did it!
A normal farm family: 2 parents 5 kids one without red hair , me, a baby brother who died, who is remembered by (me), would be 63. Father on School Board: Mother President of Church Group Kids work hard, do well in school. Yep all okay, except that little brown haired one is so damned sensitive, (me) spends a lot of time alone. Hmmm well normal enough I guess.
Yes. I was pleased that I never fought back like Dad’s rages. I was a good girl I remember all 3 sisters fighting back. I became the oddball, go to see psychiatrist at 20 to find out what is wrong. The others all obeying the law…nothing wrong with them. All got married. I didn’t. For almost 50 years fight a losing battle with therapists who find nothing wrong, yet I know there is and finally told Counselor last year that I might just have our roles reversed. No proof.
You don't deserve this Those words say a thousand Words Iz, No? AGREED and I wondered why, but told her it was a very intimate and caring statement. I felt her concern.
And when your Sis says... She really Cares... She really Does (I think) AGREED!
yet, yet, yet, yet, eh?
Now the supposed N one, I asked her how she saw me back when such and such an incident happened, an incident that was a setup of me on her part. She BLEW! Right! I was supposed to have forgotten? and she knows the bible backwards to protect herself.
Oh what an eye opener, and yet (yet) none of them went to therapy. Only I did the things that were different!
Wonderful Deb, Better than a therapist to piece all this together and you don’t write like one of us, so you cannot be one of my sisters in disguise.
Much Love
Izzy
--and thank you for the next with all the pertinent statements. A treasure trove of understanding from my friends. What a goldmine. What a day to rejoice!
Love
Izzy
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Hey Iz,
(lol) yet we are all sisters in some sense. We just got to Look in and give our Thoughts and then Cut and Paste and you do the this one goes here...that one goes in the garbage...ect.
And your puzzle is forming a Picture....
Love
Deb
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Really an amazing cut and paste job, Deb: )
You're so very kind and I know it's appreciated.
((((Izzy))))
It's helpful to see that all written out like that, isn't it?
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Morning, Izz...just wanted to remind you I'm perched in a chair with a cup of tea, wincing my way with you through the morning routine. Taking your mind off your troubles with some bad jokes or fine morning flute music, or just sit. Got a pot of tea in a cozy when you're settled...
Deb, you are so solid. I've really appreciated and admire and been helped by your posts lately.
Hey Mo2...chin up? You're sounding steady yourself.
hugs all,
Hops
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hiya Hops,
I thought I felt some fresh breath down my neck this a.m. but was too tired to get up already! "Wincing your way"...WOW You've been there? Wince, and roar, is right. Keep needing new postions, so finally remembered on tummy. Works great!...until I have to change again.
Was Searching for 'positions' and came across a couple of articles about people's pins bending, and their hardware causing bone to die. Removal necessary. These were 'walkers' though. I have a nephew with this hardware. He limps badly and carries his x-rays when traveling by air.
One bad part is the upper thigh at the groin, swollen twice/thrice it's size (sorry no pictures) and in certain positions the "fat" just hangs unsupported full of paining neurons. I use an long elastic bandage. and wrap to keep it all tucked up, for transfers. I knew what nurses would say so show them and begin with, " For the 20 minutes, or so, that".... but one still managed to sneak in the possible problem, cutting circulation, and I held firm on my few moments that provides relief. I bet that leg weighs 3 x normal weight.
I sent my brother a note about his shingles and he said this was second time so a few antibiotics and all gone and, "You must be well back into you independant ways!" HA! :P
Yes! Cudos to Mo2 and Deb. Very insightful! I was thinking about 2006 when eldest sister and her hubby were married 50 years. I was thrilled for them, and I made the most beautiful card, as I heard nothing about a party. I had beautiful things, golden things placed just so, wrote a short meaningful message, printed and mailed to them. No acknowledgment of that. I even remembered the day, but acknowledged it. I'd drop flat if someone remembered the date of Joe and me. I also remember her saying once that her favourite singer is Jann Arden, and she has a song about "It's buried so deep inside, maybe no one can find it!". ??? and a time long ago before Anita, that I was there and hubby was leaving on a trip. He asked her to come up and have a 'nap' with him before he had to leave for the airport. She looked embarrassed and said, "No"! (They did have 2 kids.)
Uh boy!
Sleepy...gotta Go!
xxx
Izzy
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I bet you were a wonderful mate to Joe...... I bet he wished he could have held it all together.
(((Izzy))) Rest and remember to drink a probiotic, Activia for example, about 30 minutes after taking any antibiotics in the future.
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Am just up from my nap.... from a phone call...
What do you mean, Mo2?
I never heard of that and I don't have any. The w'chair cab won't stop at drugstore for meds, will bring me straight home....so I need to get the Rx in and then can get a probiotic?
thanxs
Iz
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Activia is a yogurt product with active cultures..... anything that states it's a probiotic in yogurt section will do.
Get it at the grocery store.... I guess this means you had an infection that required antibiotics, huh?
So sorry but you're on top of it.
The antibiotic kills the good bacteria in your body, as well as the nasty ones, so you need to drink the Activia or whatever you guys have there.
Maybe you could get someone to pick some up for you or have it delivered?
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Hey Iz and Mof2
Rest Iz, Rest.
Mof2 is right on about her suggestions. Listen to her Izzy.
Mof2
Are you my sister?
Finally after years of my sister being on me to take better care of my health and body, I listened.
I have been going crazy for the last several months with a Molar problem with no Apparent Cavity or root damage but seen a little something there After they gave me Antibiotics to a Cleaning (from hell) and Again..problem...But nothing wrong with the Tooth and they could take it out It was up to Me. Then more antibiotics.
There answer was:: You know there are all kinds of bugs going around..Argh!
And wasn't sure if that was the Problem, really. Couldn't put my finger on it.
So my sister couldn't take it anymore and you'll love this Hops....Brought me a Netti Pot :shock: I do love it. Didn't it First.
I had no choice which I was avoiding all this time for it was a Gift from her so I used it. I noticed my ears were crackling away.
She told me cup my hand over them and get the fluid out and keep doing the Netti Pot. Eventually I had no clogged or crackling ears. I could breath when I didn't even know I wasn't. I was loaded with Fluid.
Told me to shaddup and do as she says.. Honey and Cinnamon, pinapple, garlic pills and the Marine Fish Oil with V-E (she ordered from a buddist monk).
Took care of heart, blood pressure, immune system, energy And I actually feel better
I also ate Activia for I do love yogurt.
I don't know what the hec I'm taking on my own to just read a label and say that sounds good It very Well Not Be so don't Ever take anything you don't know about even if it is Natural it can Harm you.
Ask your Doctor first. I mean the honey and cinnamon, pinapple, activia would be fine (I think) I'm not dead anything other Ask the Doc.
Love
Deb
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Mary Jo is going to help me dress to go to DR. tomorrow to see if I need antibiotic. The nurse who removed staples didn't like the look of one of the incisions, so I don't know yet.
Thanks for info.
xx
Iz
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you can get probiotic capsules, too, Izz...most health food stores have them.
You are so resourceful and clear about being your own ally in the physical battles you must wage.
I really admire you for that.
Leg soon better....sending vibes!
Powerful nutrition = great idea of M02's...
xxoo
Hops
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Deb:
My left ear's been crackling for about a year now.
I just assume I'm allergic to something in the new place that keeps fluid hanging round.
Glad to hear you're feeling healthier these days.
I've begun eating salads as a sort of brunch food.... just craving the dickens out of them.
Fresh spinach, edamame from produce section at Trader Joes (so good), turkey, boiled egg and crunchy nuts.... so nice to feel the body ask for something healthy.
I also think St. John's wort and Emergen-C are good things.
(((Hops, Deb, Changing and Izz)))
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Hi MO2, Deb, Hoppy and Our Deer Izzy-
What Izzy is pointing out here is true- part of love is caring enough to KNOW about the beloved- their anniversary date, their favorite singer, etc.- because you care about what moves and happens to them. Their life and loves mean something to you, they register and reverberate. Understanding...It makes me happy to see the caring lavished on Miss Izzy in these posts!
Love to All,
C.
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Speaking of Izzy...... where'd she go?
Izzy! Where are you?
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I am here 99.9% of the time. I do have to supervise the "Care" girls and I switch from bed to chair and back and forth and sometimes have no new news.
Received a card from a 90 year old woman to whom, along with many others, I'd sent my notice, and to "Please respect my situation, as I might not always be near a phone" As soon as she read I'd been hit by a car, she called me.
I was somewhat dazed and so early in the a.m., she said, "I am just reading-----"
I asked, "Have you finished reading the email?"
"No"
"Well go read it. I'd like to rest".
I telephoned her at an opportune time
I had flowers from friends in Calgary, a short arrangement of peach roses (Naw, more like yellow with orange edgings) Please people, no more flowers....they make me think of Ken.
xx
Izzy