Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: BonesMS on April 30, 2009, 10:57:08 AM
-
It seems that every time I think I've got a handle on things, something else pops up that triggers the emotional roller coaster.
I've been working on genealogy and discovered several of NWomb-Donor's lies during my research. I was able to print out the documentation and confronted her with it, only to get the "evil grin". She died a few months later. One of the "stories" she insisted on telling was that my late father was too young to enlist in World War I and too old for World War II. The other day, I found documentation that CLEARLY showed that my late father filled out the REQUIRED paperwork for the draft during World War I and he was CLEARLY the right age to be drafted!!!!! (He was 21 years old! His poor eyesight was most likely the reason why he did not go into the military.) Finding ANOTHER one of NWomb-Donor's lies makes me want to stomp on her grave!!!!
Bones
-
Sorry about the roller coaster, ((Bones))
It'll never make sense: /
Mo2
-
Amazing Bones eh! All the lies that you find out many years later. As Mof2 said IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE why these even were lies.
I'm sorry about this up and down ride but it will level out.
Love
Deb
-
You know, Bones, two years ago I had a hard time believing my NM lied... Now I know she lies about EVERYTHING. She lies and she is sneaky... just for fun. I think some of it is intentional, and some of it is lying just because she WANTS to believe something - like a child.
xxoo Hang in there!!
Beth
-
Dear Bones
I struggle with the cycle of hatred, trying to 'forgive" and struggling to go on and leave it behind.
Ours is really a different ride than people who did not have N parents.
My friend had parents who did not boomerranged his life. He can't really understand me. I have a friend whose M's molested her as mine did.
It is wonderful to feel a soul connection with people who had the same and wonderful to see the possibility of living life free like people who were not interefered with.
Will I ever approximate "normal"?
Normal to me is accepting and loving myself. I hope I can love and accept myself someday. That is the way out, I think.
I am sorry that your NM keeps on "giving" and giving like the Energizer Bunny from Hell. My heart goes out to you, Bones and I understand. Love Ami
-
Sorry about the roller coaster, ((Bones))
It'll never make sense: /
Mo2
No, it will NEVER make sense; ESPECIALLY when the messages received were usually: "DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!"
Bones
-
Amazing Bones eh! All the lies that you find out many years later. As Mof2 said IT WILL NEVER MAKE SENSE why these even were lies.
I'm sorry about this up and down ride but it will level out.
Love
Deb
Thanks, Deb!
Bones
-
You know, Bones, two years ago I had a hard time believing my NM lied... Now I know she lies about EVERYTHING. She lies and she is sneaky... just for fun. I think some of it is intentional, and some of it is lying just because she WANTS to believe something - like a child.
xxoo Hang in there!!
Beth
Thanks, Beth.
I discovered that a LOT of her lies were self-serving because she was SO afraid of what would the neighbors think if they found out the truth!
Bones
-
Dear Bones
I struggle with the cycle of hatred, trying to 'forgive" and struggling to go on and leave it behind.
Ours is really a different ride than people who did not have N parents.
My friend had parents who did not boomerranged his life. He can't really understand me. I have a friend whose M's molested her as mine did.
It is wonderful to feel a soul connection with people who had the same and wonderful to see the possibility of living life free like people who were not interefered with.
Will I ever approximate "normal"?
Normal to me is accepting and loving myself. I hope I can love and accept myself someday. That is the way out, I think.
I am sorry that your NM keeps on "giving" and giving like the Energizer Bunny from Hell. My heart goes out to you, Bones and I understand. Love Ami
Thanks, Ami.
NWomb-Donor can ROT in hell!
Bones
-
I swear, it's pure evil! Seems they have a choice but think they can GET AWAY with things. If they want to be lead by the devil...let the devil have em! Let him play with them the way they have played with us!
-
I swear, it's pure evil! Seems they have a choice but think they can GET AWAY with things. If they want to be lead by the devil...let the devil have em! Let him play with them the way they have played with us!
AMEN to that!
Bones
-
Yes, get!!!!!! They like to play a game all the time. Even when the N could be straighforward and honest, they would rather be underhanded and sneaky. That irritates me more than anything now. I don't need or want games in my life. I refuse to play, and NM hates me for it. She still plays her own form of game where I am concerned (in what she tells other people and in the fact that she portrays herself as having an interest in our lives).
Love, Beth
-
The lies wear me out. I have to ask NH so many questions trying to figure out the truth that it becomes exhausting! It is a smear when they make up stories about you, my NH likes to tell people that I am sick. What makes my blood boil is when he takes credit for something that I have done or steals a story that I have told him about something that I have done, I think he believes what he says too, it's just too weird and exhausting.
-
The smear campaigns and character assassinations are the worse, IMHO.
Bones
-
Last night, I was out with friends and found myself in the position of expressing empathy to two of them. Their mother died some months ago and their only sister is the executrix of their mother's estate. The problem is that the sister is a full-blown, flaming N who is attempting to manipulate the situation and trying to keep EVERYTHING for herself in spite of the mother's WRITTEN will dividing everything equally among her children. On top of that, she is DEMANDING that her brothers deed over their cemetery plot for her late husband's ashes, (ignoring the fact that she treated her late husband like !@#$ while he was alive). Her brothers have repeatedly told her "NO!" to her demands and they were describing her ranting, raging, screaming, tantrums, manipulations and lies that she has been pulling since their mother died. (Sounds familiar!) I commented that their sister sounds like she has full-blown NPD and to stand their ground with her. One of the brothers is looking for a lawyer, that is knowledgeable about probating wills, so that they can get things settled ASAP. I don't envy these two friends. This NSister is a complete pain-in-the-a$$!
Bones
-
This is just my musings but N's are people with no self(real one)but they make such a big splash with the false self that they destroy everyone around them.
It is such a paradox that they ones with such a little self manifest such big self.
I guess I am realizing that I need to get the right sized self, not too little and not too big. I have to own what is me, take pride in it and recognize that it is special .
I need to put boundary around it.
Ami
-
I have been dealing with the lies and "smear campaigns" of my N sister just about my entire life. I must say that for me, this is one of the most difficult parts of dealing with a n to tolerate... I always keep telling myself, to consider the source, ~ and remind myself how truly "sick" she is. My parents on the other hand, are having an even more difficult time dealing with her because they are in their 70's and they just don't get it. No matter how hard I try to explain her "illness" to them, they don't understand. I have gotten books for them to read, and have printed things from these message boards, hoping something will get through to them. For the past 5 yrs my sister has not only cut herself off from the rest of our family, (and it's a small one.. just me and her, our husbands, and we each have one child & my parents of course) but, she is keeping my parents only grand daughter away from all of us as well. It is an extremely difficult journey. In the end, I feel sorry for my N sister, she is wasting so much time that she would have been able to spend with "our" mother~ either fighting with her, or ignoring or avoiding us all!.. Wasted time that could have been spent "being" a family, rather than her ripping the one that we have apart. I feel even more sorry for her daughter. She is 13 and always loved her Gram and Poppy, and my son her cousin, who she was closer with than some brothers and sisters are... Now, for whatever reason her mother has drilled into her head, she is not allowed to see any of us anymore. I can only wonder what kind of "stories & lies" that my n sister has told her.!
-
That "evil grin." I HATE that.
-
That "evil grin." I HATE that.
I agree!! When I see that evil smirk, I'm tempted to do something to wipe it off! Unfortunately, that could mean legal problems!
Bones
-
I hate that evil grin too...it lets you know that what they are doing or going to do is or will be on purpose. :x
-
Yes, I guess we all know the evil grin. As a child, I would have danced around the world to make it go away. A monster took over my M when the evil grin came out.
I can hear it over the phone, too. Can anyone else? Ami
-
teeth are showing and the face is tight. I remember my moms eyes being narrow and glassy and she seemed extremely happy about what she was about to do to me. It's just pure evil!! And you could here it in her voice on the phone....eewwwwww!!!!!
-
See, to me it isn't my mom, it's my sister~ We could all always tell when she was "at her finest"... You could sense it in her voice, and definately see it on her face..~
-
Yes, I am glad other's can hear it over the phone ,too. She "morphs" like the Incredible Hulk in to a demon-like person. I think that many of my bad patterns such as hypervigilance are simply my childhood responses to trying to make this morphed person go away.KWIM?
Ami
-
We always could tell with my N sister when she was "at her finest", by the look on her face, and then she would start to spew her ugliness~ then everybody run!.....
-
I was watching the Steve Wilkos Show today and he confronted an N when he caught her in lie after lie after lie! I LOVE the way he deals with Ns! He Don't Play!
Bones