Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on May 07, 2009, 06:44:52 PM
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I went to hospital for a follow-up and back home to find another resident in a wheelchair sitting in our lobby, resting from shopping and home. She asked and I told what happened, as I was using the taxi. I went around the corner to collect my mail while she and I finished talking then this guy comes along and they are talking and HE is talking about what ALMOST happened to HIM, and she stated some facts about her, and mentioned how I had just been struck by a car and he went on to compare something else that ALMOST happened to him.
I don't expect to be fawned over, but this guy was so NON-empathetic, or else lives in total fear that these ALMOSTS might come true. I didn't listen to the ALMOST. I just continued up on the elevator.
This left thigh is over twice the size of my right thigh.
Izzy
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Oh my.... :shock: that must hurt! Sending you prayers for healing and peace for putting up with people that just do not know how they come off. Sorry to hear that you have to deal with any of it.
Were you on foot or in a car when someone ran into you?
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Hello getnbtr
Stranger yet I was in my wheelchair (40 years) on a sidewalk when a giuy backed out his driveway and nailed me!
Thank you for the thoughts
Izzy
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Awwww, Izz.
Your poor leg.
::sending mommy hugs and chicken soup::
I wonder what happened to that man, that he's unable to look outside himself.
Lots of people in the world like that, unfortunately.
Mo2
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So Izzz what'd they say?
Are you healing kind of okay now?
As importantly, what about pain?
Is it any better?
xo
Hops
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Your leg looks like it has seen some hurting. I am sorry, Izzy. Ami
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Thanks all
Yes, Hops am healing, but my favourite male nurse in ambulatory care said, "OH! We'll be seeing you for a while!" ouch!
No infection, staples out again, still seeping and will stop when it's ready
The rod was from the upper incision to the knee and the middle and knee incisions had screws. 2 rods bolts were in the top incision that ran into my hip bone. One of those rods bolts broke away and worked down to middle incision.
One step/day at a time, but I never walked on that leg, so that part is not the problem....only if I cannot use it as well as the right, which made them equal in movement before I was hit. Too soon for PT on hiip--I thought I was being rushed there.
Legal issues will be arising, and do you know?
No one has found my damaged wheelchair!! I think I am the only one who believes what I have figured has happened and now the Hospital owns it as a loaner.
It was mine to salvage or destroy, not to steal!
xx
Izzy
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Ouch, Iz. You really got it good. That looks painful!!!
The guy sounds like a jerk... and, yes, I believe that there are lots of 'em out there.
Heal up and feel better!
Love, Beth
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Izzy,
Please tell me that the guy that hit you felt terrible!
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Yes Beth.
This was/is painful. First the break, then after the surgery with the rod and screws/bolts breaking up my bone, still unbelievable pain.
After second surgery, to remove hardware, a lessening of the pain, to where I didn't pull out my hair, but nighttime is bad. I don't sleep well and with 3 hours last night (or 4-7 this a.m.) I am tired and ready for bed, but bed means spending a long time finding a position, always a bit different each time, takes so long, I am wide awake again.
Getnbtr
Since his Insurance Co. is paying all my expenses, I expect he will be found at fault. He said nothing to me at the time. (20 years ago, the driver got into the second ambulance (so just us) that was taking me to the big city for surgery, said "I'm sorry, Iz. I'll call the sitter and let her know", then he went out and hired a lawyer. He knew he was guilty. The lawyer automatically tells client to NOT talk to the injured party.
Depending on his personality and character, if he IS blaming himself, or is trying to foist the responsibilty onto me. Many people play neutral in these cases....ambulance, cop at the scene etc.
Time will tell what the legal system says!
Thanks
xx
Izzy
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Hey Iz,
Ow, oh that looks so painfull. I hope your pain goes and you can get more comfortable.
How can you hit someone and not say your sorry. Fear, Shock, Possibly...
I wouldn't give a damn about the Insurance Company. I would be saying I'm sorry. That would cost me more then my insurance company paying out to the injured party. I would not be able to live with myself without doing that.
Love
Deb
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Izzy,
doesn't it make you wish that you lived in ole Mayberry with Andy and Aunt Bea? (hope you know what old TV show that I am talking about) :?
I wish you all good things, sorry that you are going through this.
Getnbtr
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hi deb
Yes painful. Between my nurse and me we have decided that I have a sensitivity to titanium. The hardware was put in place for 1st surgery then I was stapled together. The pain was as bad as the break. It never ceased. I was home and finally went to Dr. and he drained one incision, then we saw the loose bolt, so back to hospital to remove all hardware and be restapled. The wound has been seeping and bandaged daily. Wed. I was at follow-up in hospital and staples were removed. Suddenly the pain has lessened considerably and the seepage almost stopped. Instead of daily she is leaving me from today until Monday before checking the dressing.
I am still in pain but not the same, as in finally feeling an improvement. (1 month, 11 days)
My loaner wheelchair gives me a backache and my knees ache. It was not made for me, so I go lie down and that's my second only position. I nod off and find myself awake all night sometimes, usually every second night.
Hey getnbtr
Does you nick mean 'getting better"? Well it cheers me up, as not much does these days. I remember Mayberry and had a crush on Andy. He was so easy-going and wise. He made a movie"Face In The Crowd". Did you see it. He played a Narcissistic ba*tard!, a far cry from Mayberry. I have the DVD. I think it is seldom shown because it is so not like him.
Then where did he go? then Matlock!!! I couldn't bear to see him gray-haired in Matlock so never watched it. It made me sad, but finally, in re-runs about 2 years ago, I started and still love him.
Well back to bed--third time
xx
Izzy
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Hi Izzy,
Yes, the nick name means getting better. I too had a crush on Andy. Watched Matlock a couple of times and never saw the movie "Face in a crowd". I still watch the reruns when he was in Mayberry.
That show is timeless and there is always a good story in each show, problems are solved with acts of kindness. Yup...I wanna one way ticket to good ole Mayberry!
Heal up quickly Izzy, no offence, but you need a better sexy picture on here! :P
getnbtr
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I am so incredibly relieved to hear the pain's eased a bit, Izz.
Your suffering hurts.
loooooooooooooooooooooooove,
Hops
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Hey Iz,
Yes I saw that movie.
You know what's really weird. I was little when I seen that movie.
Now my memories of Andy were a nice, soft, and big smile. Just a man that was comfort looking..
and as little as I was... I saw that smile that was so Creepy, even the change of his tone, and ugly creepy person..
that it bothered me because Andy was Andy and he was playing a different *role* an actor that was just so damn Creepy that it interfered when I saw Andy back in Mayberry for I had seen him ( his looks) so very creepy and dark. Weird eh, because I truly had no clue about the movie ...it was his change in looks..that bothered me.
And then I moved into Mayberry...Ex-h soft, quiet, nice guy big smile....then..That creepy, look...
They really do get creepy look.......
Not too far from real life, eh.
Maybe my preceptions as a child were right on ... because I swear with N and the Creepy Image from one to the Other ...was so very true.
Love
Deb
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getnbtr
Ah! Just like anything, even CSI, problems solved in ½ or 1 hour. Not years, like real life.
Hops
Thanks That awful excrutiating pain was such an unknown' as to "How can one human being hurt so much?" Now the pains are where I know they are and why and it's a bit easier on the mind. I just don't have enough things to keep me busy. I get through the days and sometimes wonder how. Gonna be lazy after all of this, if I make it out the far end.
Deb
Besides that, do you thing CREEPY is a good word to descibe Ol' Lonesome Rhodes and the Ns? When I first saw the show I would be in teens, but just knew he was 'bad'. Now I know Nism and that made it worse when I saw Pat falling for him, giving in to him, --and that little baton twirling chick? How like Ns.
xx
Izzy
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Happy Mother's Day, Izz: )
You have to keep yapping until you get your chair or one made for you.
This is unacceptable for you to keep struggling with a chair not made for you.
Just one thing after another after another.
So sorry and glad the pain's going away.
Let the healing begin.
Mo2
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Happy Day to you too, Mo2
Well the excruciating pain at origin and tenderness/soreness of incisions is at a minimum, which is good. That was enough to drive one around the bend, but I still have the groin pain, that 'leaks ' over into my abdomen, that comes and goes and the new knee pain
40 years ago, 3 weeks after injury I developed a sharp stabbing, pulsating pain in my RIGHT knee. One resident. said it wasn't pain as I was paralyzed, but new resident said it was common in spinal cord injuries and would last about 6 month and slowly fade. Meanwhile I received med for that. In 6 months it had faded enough that I didn't need meds every 4 hours, but could get them just by asking, when I needed, as it acted up on occasions and even to this day. It acted up when there was a change in my body, getting my period, catching a cold, etc. and now I believe it is in sympathy with the trauma to my whole body and mind from this mess---so it comes and goes. The new pain, is the same, but in my LEFT knee and I am expecting that will last 6 months too.
There is so much involved. I could go out and buy myself a chair right now, right size, but that would have to encompass all the swelling, so an extra 2" in width at least---that chair would not fit into my car. Do I plan to listen to them say I will not drive again? No! but it has been said twice so I could give up and go get the chair and stop bi&ching. Even if I did it takes about 3 months for it to be assembled, as it has extensions on the seat, for my height, so that my knees won't ache!
The head Physio has now sent a 'child' for me. She took notes about the chair, but the Head already knew. She was even smart enough to come into the hospital and take the loaner chair until I needed it again after the second surgery. I expect she believes my story about someone giving my damaged one a face-lift and saying it is Hospital's property. Now this child wants me to change my transfer procedure after 40 years? She was also miffed that I wasn't in bed when she came, but Dr. had said NO physio yet on my leg. I went to get into bed as I said this and she said "Never mind we'll do the arm exercises out here." (Arm and leg are to be done from bed, and she does want to watch,,,or maybe she doesn't...my pivot transfers. Arm can be done sitting up!)
Have you ever heard about being stuck between a rock and a hard place? I have a back brace I've kept all these years, but never had knee braces (Does such a thiing exist for this purpose? I don't know)
I have been awake since 2:30 yesterday afternoon.....that was from sleeping because of no sleep the night before. Now it has happened again and I will get dozy and hit the sack and ruin tonight's sleep. This all fits into pain and suffering.
Only the chair and (maybe) driving a car will be Losses for which I will claim....so where is the privacy I value with all these people runing through my place 5 days a week (maybe no more Sat and Sun when dressings had to be done daily.)
I ought not post when I am bi&chy from lack of sleep and with only 2 sips of coffee., but I might as well start my day.
I have 2 books in 1, nora roberts, and read one whole story from midnight til finished and never even yawned. I could feel the pain and changed positions at least 8 times then kept on reading. I just cannot lie there in the dark in pain, and let my mind wander into dark places.
Iz
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Izzy:
Sorry you're sleep deprived, have no privacy, in pain and dealing with the "child's" bumblings.
Oh ya.... and about your lost chair too: /
I imagine you have the heart of a whale by now.
There's no doubt you'll be up and driving as soon as possible.
Of course you will (((Izzy.)))
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Thanks
I wrote my sister, my daughter and my lawyer in one hell of a mood that day (yesterday) My lawyer was the only one who told me to go ahead and get mad, keep my journal, write it all down, as he has to be able to put forth all this on my behalf.
I finally, after 6 weeks and 2 days had a proper 'dump'. You can imagine my irritation and that relieves some groin paiin.
Imagine working out my own care, only to have a idiot strike me down and I lose the control I had over my food and liquid intake, so that I never have to mention this to people.
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Hey Iz,
Well now I had to sit and think about what I said. The two N's I knew/know were of my ex-h and my N-friend.
I thought my ex-h was a creepy as Andy was to me. When I met him he looked like that All American Guy with An All American Job with the big smile and then...the Creepy...same look but different to me...As the person I saw to the person I saw...
Like Andy from mayberry to the Part he played in that Movie. Two different ways I saw them both. Inside Out.
Now I have never seen my Nfriend as Creepy. Sure every thing about her changed, clothes, hair, color, totally opposite of what she use to do. I didn't Creeped out though.
Now I'm not sure truly if my ex-h was N or S or P. He most probably was P, you know the story, so maybe that is the difference?
He was truly Evil/Sick minded. With total intentions of Screwing over People (Evil) intentions and with harm if those ends justified his means. More then N does though.
He even wrote about how he tricked people and that no one ever knew him (started at Childhood). I found this by accident and it was only a few pages and that was after he was locked up.
Now I read that every P is an N but not every N is a P. So maybe the creepy feelings was my Self/Alert that went off that this was a person of Danger more then just my finances, heart, and so forth.
So maybe that's it Iz.
I do not feel my Nfriend is Creepy like I did with ex-h or even the way Andy's appearance was on both his roles ..TV and the Movie.
So I guess Iz maybe the Creepy is for P/N.
With Nfriend leave out the Creepy feeling and everything else applies.
With ex-h add in the creepy and then everything else and it all applies.
Hard to explain but thanks for asking me that question Iz.
Never thought about that before since ex-h is long gone. There is difference.
Love
Deb
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The N I left could be very creepy. His appearance could change right before my eyes.
He could look older, puffier,red-faced and brown hair.
Then he could look slimmer in the face, paler (more normal) and have ½ his hair gray.
When the shorter hair at the front fell into'like bangs', his lashes looked longer and he looked like he was "looking for a man."
When some barber cut his hair right back to a nice manly cut he looked like my brother.
It was eerie.
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I told the 'child' therapist today that I didn't want to use a board transfer. I asked her if she really wanted me to change from a pivot transfer after 40 years. I did a pivot transfer and said , "There! One move, and how many did I make on the board? FIVE!" She agreed I was better at the pivot than when she first saw me and I said, "Because I am healing and my pivots were sloppy, but I was careful and now the pain has decreased that I am not skittsh about an onset of excrutiating pain." I won!
I also suggested that one exercise that wears me out be done first rather than last, because then I might not be worn out for the rest. I won! Wednesday she will take me to the Library! I realize that when I propel myself, I use my hips and that is why longer trips are out for me alone, right now.
So much for asking nicely and having a good argument for oneself!!!
YAY
Izzy
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You need to feel comfortable trusting yourself Izzy.
Not letting people, however well intentioned, sabotage you is very important.
You know what works and what doesn't.
Plenty of first hand practice and think what you have to teach!
Good job, Izz.
Mo2