Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Overcomer on September 01, 2009, 05:03:49 PM
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My mom's sister is into appearance management. This woman always has to have everything perfect. Her husband is stupid. He doesn't work. She sweeps his dysfunction under the rug. Her mommy babies her....
So anyway, her son is in the ministry. The wife of the son is constantly complaining about how her husband doesn't do anything around the house. He lays in bed and watches tv and drinks and does drugs. So the wife told me.
Then my aunt told me not to listen to the wife because she lies. The son is fine. Nothing is wrong with him it is all her....
Who do I believe? Is the wife lying or is my cousin lying to his mom? Is my aunt sweeping her son's dysfunction under the rug and scapegoating the wife??
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Hi Overcome,
If it were me, I would just back away from the situation. No matter which of them is telling the truth, I would feel there is little to be done assuming that everyone involved is an adult.
S
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When you turn off the sound of these two women talking, what do your eyes and ears (and gut) tell you?
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I'm wondering if it really matters if you ever figure out who's telling the truth. In what way does this matter to you? If it doesn't affect your life, can you be OK with not knowing?
Comfort with not knowing is really hard for me but I am working on it.
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Hiya OC
Only if this really affects you and your life would I, in the same instance, bother to find out the truth.
xx
Keep well! Keeping Well?
Izzy
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The bad thing is my aunt plants herself as close to my mom and her money. The family infiltrates our family and puts their dysfunction in the middle of everything......then they try to cover it up by denying everything.....it has been awful!!!
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My H's family is very wealthy--many generations could live on it-- wealth..The family dysfunctions seem to have multiplied b/c of this. I don't know.
Maybe , they would have been just as bad either way. :? Ami
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Well, some of you might remember that my aunt got "fiired" from a job she "inherited" when my mom retired. She was my mom's secretary. They kept leaning on her to do what she needed to do to qualify her division. She couldn't so they gave her a severance and let her go.
She came to our store and asked for a job. I told her I couldn't pay her a lot......but we gave her more than most. Then she pretty much blew her severance and then came crying to my mom......who gave her a raise which the store could not afford........from $28,000 to $40,000.....then she tried to cut her hours....
Anyway, my cousin (her son) worked for us......my mom made our coffee manager and he CO managers..........that made the manager mad. Then he came crying to us and told us that he thought she would be gone.....so the minute she had had it and quit.....HE put in his notice and started praying at this prayer center and he gets paid by pledges.
Apparently they are not making it but she won't and he won't get part time jobs. I think they are afraid they will lose their food stamps.........but they live in a brand new house!!!! Probably helped paid for by my mom.....
So..........now the wife is so mad at the husband (my cousin) because he doesn't lift a finger, doesn't support the family and does drugs and alchohol.......
By dad is fit to be tied because my mom excuses the family.,.......my cousin's wife emailed me and spilled her guts then my aunt called to try to get me to understand that her son was GREAT and it was all the daughter in law....
You know? I am dealing with chemo!! I don't need all this shit!! Yes, i cussed........I am that mad........and I never say those words!!!
My uncle doesn't work. He is a Loser!!!!!! We have all had it with them except my mom.....poor little babied sister!