Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Redhead Erin on October 02, 2009, 03:18:37 AM

Title: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Post by: Redhead Erin on October 02, 2009, 03:18:37 AM

Sometimes I just don't get it . . . . And then other times I really really don't get it.

My family lost a good friend this week.  She was my mom' s next door neighbor for 30 years, and my son's godmother.  The funeral was today.  I didn't feel like going to work afterward and besides it was my husbands pay day, so I didn't go.  NM offered to take us and buy my kiddo some new hockey gear and school books, both of which he desperately needs and which I would have been earning the money for tonight anyway. 

So anyway, we were eating dinner and my son (age 8) said the most tasteless, disgusting, and cruel thing, which I never could have imagined he would say.  I looked at him in absolute horror for a second before I broke down in tears, and the look on my face triggered him to cry too and say he was sorry.  So I got him calmed down so he wouldn't get more upset and disturb the whole restaurant, but I could not speak for quite a while.  I just sat there with my face hidden in my hands and the tears running down.  He obviously didn't realize why what he had said was so tasteless and offensive.  My mom gave him the most appropriate, nice, and reasonable explanation--Far better than I could have done at the time, and just as good as anything I would have come up with on a good day. 

How on earth could this have been the same woman who has said some of the most awful things and treated every horrible event in my life as a minor speedbump, which I had no right to be upset about?  :?  What WAS that?

Title: Re: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Post by: Ami on October 02, 2009, 06:34:06 AM

Dear Erin
 My M was usually wonderful with my kids, particularly when they were younger.  As they got older, she was "off" on her advice but not malicious, usually, as she was to me.
 Maybe, they don't feel the grandchild is  a reflection of THEM so they don't have the *I*, *I*, *I* involvement that  they do with their own kids.
 I do know what you mean, Erin. It is very confusing.               xxoo  Ami
 
 

Title: Re: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Post by: cgm1028 on October 02, 2009, 10:56:17 AM

Erin:

First, sorry for your loss.  Times like that are very hard.

Regarding your NM, you how people sometimes have an off day.  A normally cheerful person is cranky, a patient person is impatient.  Well I think that's what happened here, except in the case of NM she actually behaved normally, not abnormally.  As the saying goes, "even a blind squirrel finds a nut now and then".

Title: Re: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Post by: Redhead Erin on October 03, 2009, 02:07:33 AM

 :lol: LOL, cgm.!

Thanks,  ladies.  I'm so glad it's not just me.

Title: Re: Who are you and what have you done with my mother?
Post by: cgm1028 on October 03, 2009, 10:10:18 AM

Believe me Erin, its not you!  Not at all. LOL