Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Izzy_*now* on October 05, 2009, 03:24:04 PM
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~~and mistakenly thought Yvonne from the Insurance Co. was on my side, and sent an uncomplimentary email to her about the Assessment, the first in SIX months, done by the Occupational Therapist hired by the Insurance Co. to oversee and plan a course of action for my treatment.
Yvonne wrote to my lawyer and told him to tell me to cease and desist. He wrote to me and said I was feisty and thought this was amusing.
Then I replied to the Assessment and pointed out errors etc. I copied to my lawyer
This is one I missed on the first go around of seven errors/questionables. plus the reason I find her visits stressful = 7
-- to outing on September 25, 2009 consisting of lengthy appointment with Dr. Reimer (2.5 hours) followed by traveling approximately 8 blocks to attend to several errands.
~~ I missed your error in the above Date. I attended Dr. Reimer's office on September 24, 2009. Several = 2 errands: I specified my Bank and the Drug Store.
Then I copied this further error to my lawyer, as he had said he approved of my response to MJ, as perhaps now we can all get on the same track.
If I don't speak up for myself, her errors will go down on record as being the truth.
:idea: :idea: :idea:
I didn't speak up for myself as a child, which means I didn't know I could, or didn't know that I should, or didn't know how, or didn't know someone else was wrong
Therefore, so much ended up "on the record" as the 'truth', only for me to grow up with all those instances still stuck in my mind as being "done wrong by".
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Right now, after 2½ months of Physical Therapy; MJ has cut me off. Now my lawyer is in the fight for me to get it back. Lack of it will just bring about a decline in progress already made
That's what started this 'complaint' to Insurance re MJ.
Love Izzy
Still hanging in and hanging on
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Izzy,
Good to hear you are keeping up the good fight.
I didn't speak up for myself as a child, which means I didn't know I could, or didn't know that I should, or didn't know how, or didn't know someone else was wrong
Bingo! How did you learn all the above? Where do you start, any suggestions?
Hope your pain has lessened over time. Wishing you continued healing.
Good job speaking up and setting the record strait! seasons xo
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Hi Seasons
Learn to speak up, that I needed to for my sake?
After I left the N, I determined why I had been vulnerable to one, and realized I had few boundaries and very little assertiveness. so I changed that whenever the occasion called for it.
The impact of this, though, did not arrive until the assertiveness was about my physical self! Either I speak up now when the therapist made a mistake, or her words go down as 'truth' in the claim I am filing against the driver, and if went 'several' places, not just two, it could be misconstrued that I brought something on myself/overdone it.
Learning how as a child, I don't think I was raised in any way to lead to this, but it comes to mind that we make our own choices and the earlier we can do that, with parental permission, and guidance, the easier it is to know what we want and to go for it.
I was called into the school re my daughter's skipping grade 7. I was not for that. When she and I talked about it I told her the pros and cons of skipping a grade, as I had suffered being 2 yrs. younger than the rest of my class. Her choice was to stay with her friends, her age group, not miss what might be taught in Grade 7, and I was happy about her choice and I never ever heard her say she regretted it!
In joining the string orchestra, it was her choice as to which instrument, and my choice as to whether I rented the instrument or bought it for her.
Love
Iz
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Just keep plugging away and asserting yourserlf, Izz.
You're good at detail and follow through.
Glad to hear your attorney approves of your advocating for yourself.
Mo2
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hi Mo2
In this case I had to wait for her to make a mistake in writing--- before I could prove her likely not listening to what I have answered to her questions, and 'generalizing' my replies. Verbally is one's word against the other's.
I knew reassessments were being made monthly but this is the first I have received. I wonder how the others read?
I am having 3 (I hope) x-rays tomorrow, thigh, knee and ankle of left leg.
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I know it's a challenge to get ready for outings like that, Izz.
Take care of yourself and best wishes for the x rays.
Mo2
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Thanks Mo2
Now suddenly it will be slacks I wear, as the mornings are nippy, and cold and pain brings on tremors (had them the past 2 mornings,,,gnashing teeth, while one side of my lip 'snarls' up, then down, and the arm shakes, and hands....some sight to get on a Handidart van.
This Dr. is a fill-in so I hope to convince her, with what is transpiring, that I require these 3 x-rays. I really need to see the injury site and the knee and ankle to understand what's going on inside.
I've set my alarm even.
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Hi Izzy,
How are you? Hope all the x-rays were taken that you needed.
xo seasons
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hi seasons
and all!...while I sit here typing like nothing happened! I guess it comes with age and stuff!
Yes a hip x-ray and a knee x-ray. I have no hip, basically, as I have a non-union which means a space between the shaft and the ball of the femur. I cannot read x-rays but the shaft was 'white' on the x-ray (I saw before Dr. Leung, {Female} came back.) I had to ask, "Where is the ball?" and there it was, a little malnourished looking gray circle sitting in the curve of the shaft. The knee aches/pains because the bottom (distal end) of femur is working in the socket but has no attachment at the top (proximal end)---just wants to wander through my nerves and muscles.
It will take exten$ive surgery to rejoin, but if the ball is dead? ..That's what is looked like to me, and I have been reading about bone necrosis.
Holy SH*T! I'm dying "A piece at a time", like Johnny Cash smuggling out a car in that song!
She said it doesn't matter about trying to therapize my external rotation of my knee. It will always be that way. All this therapy for internal rotation is good but not an answer with what we're working with. I can do whatever *I* want that makes ME comfortable, doesn't matter if I sit crooked or straight or what. This is it! I was sent for a blood test in case of an infection (which had crossed my mind when the pain increased) and am to call on Monday to find out! And I told her I wanted nothng higher than Tylenol Extra Strength for pain, but there could be an anitibiotic again! (Yes Mo2---take probiotics--if)
(I ought to put in here that I have been told two different ways, each by a separate person, on how I ought to sit, as well as how to place, and not place, my leg when in bed. They don't know I don't have a hip!)
The volunteers, many, as this hospital is one bigt B*tch of a thing, under expansion, (How did I ever escape for as long as I did last April?) were both women and women talk. They both have areas and one took me to the next area, on the way to the laboratory and each asked if this was my 'chair. I said "Yes" and they said if I didn't have it marked I had better, as the hospital was short of chairs and any running loose are grabbed........AHA! So the hospital DID steal my damaged 'chair!. which....... took so long for me to get a loaner as promised if I turned over the damaged 'chair. No Could do! So used an 11 year old chair of mine for long enough to infect my incision from the tire, then came the loaner and I was already infected from a "dirty tire" and the infection is what rendered the titantium useless, so it had to be removed and it was the titanium that would have closed the gap for proper healing--Who is at Fault?
I say the Insurance Comapny, on driver's behalf, for not bringing me a loaner chair when I needed it, while they awaited return of my damaged chair, that while I was out of it, disappeared, and I said time and again that I saw to it that it was brought into Emergency with me. Then when it was all clear to me I told the rep, before leaving the hospital. I've written my lawyer already and I'll bet he's furious, but will fight even harder with this information when he receives the Dr.'s records.
....and so it goes....the continuing story of a wronged woman, *weep weep* for another conversation piece in my dysfunctional family!
xx
Izzy
*Now I will search about infections rendering titanium useless.*
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That must've been a real shock, Izzy, seeing that Xray.
(I'd feel the same if they x-rayed my brain and saw the gaps...)
I'm sorry, sweetie. You are such a champion.
If the pain wasn't such an issue, it might be easier to deal with yes-bone no-bone.
I am awed by your bravery to battle bureaucrats as smartly and effectively as you have been,
all the while hurting so much.
((((((((Izz))))))))), gently, you old hippie...
love,
Hops
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Thank you Hops
Old hippie?
What about old hipless hippie?
When did I learn this....? That whatever happens, happens and cannot be taken back!
Love
Iz
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Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch ... that sounds so painful. Hang in there ... we are pulling for you!
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Well......
something was causing all that pain.
I'm surprised it took them this damned long to X-ray and explain all this to you.
And btw..... I think it's the driver's insurance company at fault too.
You should have had a loaner, for goodness sakes!
Mo2
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Hi HOP and Mo2
Since the pain had reduced in intensity twice = 3 levels, then went back up, I thought it was something I had done that day, as it was different, then I thought infection, but how?
So I called the Dr. after asking Mary Jo's permission--and now, but not at first, it was my job, so did and arranged my transporation. ($2.00 per trip on Handidart.)
Last visit with male Ortho, he said no more visits needed, so I was glad he was away and a lady Ortho filled in. She was very clear. Previous x-rays did not show the 'space', so I'm glad I checked out the pain. Actually I would have wanted a monthly x-ray if I could have but the previous showed the new bone, but NOT the clarity of the end of the shaft, so 'alone'.
I don't need referrals if I get in before 6 months passes from last visit, so will keep on his case!
This would have been horrible for a walkie, when leg bone not connected the hip bone (there goes 'Dem bones dem Bones dem dry Bones' in my head) I cannot imagine being it's over 40 years since I walked, still for me I cannot be brought back, by therapy to my previous state, and the therpist will now understand why my knee rotates outward when leg is at rest, and there aus no connection to keep it rotated inward. This'll change a lot--but I don't fully know yet.
Love
Izzy
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Hi Iz,
Sending my love and repeating myself, you're the best!
tt
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Thanks tt,
Yes, I won't know about infection until Monday, but if the shaft is not 'attached' to the 'ball' I wonder what they are doing in there...waving around through my muscles causing the pain? Everything is a 'wait and see' with time.
I'm wondering what would happen to a 'walkie' who had this space between.....for weight bearing etc. I was thinking when all this was over, I would hire Karla for therapy to strengthen my quads for 'standing only' to reach the higher cupboards, to put the chair into the car, what I called a dropkick with the right while balanced on my left. No way now I guess.
thanks for stopping in
Love
Iz
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I respect your realism but I refuse to think the worst outcome for you, Izz...
this may be a stupid query but is an artifical hip not a possibility?
love
Hops
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Hi Hops,
Someone said,"It's lucky you were in a wheelchair already!" That might be true but was not a nice thing to say to me.
Dr. said this can be fixed but it would be extensive surgery, expensive too, I'll bet, and if I chose it, it would be part of my claim.....??...and I have yet to have details of procedure from my lawyer.
In essence if I were to heal, as if I had no space there and no pain and could move that leg as well as my right one, I would be back to March 26. But I am still healing from that.....
Right now I cannot imagine hip surgery when I no longer weight-bear, and haven't for 2 years. So all this is rambling through this sieve of a mind of mine. It'a a bit like my paranoia about going out and being struck by another car before I am healed from this one! First things first!
I don't like the numbers on elderly people and broken bones, especially hips, especially since there is nothing yet that I've found online when one is already not using hips, and also a smoker (which slows healing.) (My gal, Christine,
also looks after an elderly couple and he is 92 with a broken hip that was not even operated on (maybe his age?)
An artifical hip (hip replacement?) has a long waiting line, and a possibility, but I have to expect it is not a necessity in terms of my still living a life of independence. My doctor's and my lawyer's input will count here, but in another 6 months, when I will likely have all this healed, and I also want to know if the ball part will die. I don't want to be another horror story, more than I already am
Certainly not a stupid query as my thoughts are all over the map.
Love
Iz
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love the old angel...thanks for that pic, Izzz....
shoe fits, hon.
love,
Hops
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Oh ((Izzy.))
::praying you receive the best possible care, from here on out::
It wouldn't make things fair.....
but it would be the best thing for you.
Mo2
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Hi Iz,
So many things about you to love and appreciate...
I love it that you don't allow just any old outcome to overtake you. Instead you are diligent. You do everything in your power to achieve the most appropriate outcome no matter how rough the going and no matter how many 'giants' roar at you.
Love you,
tt
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Izzy,
Infection from your old used wheel chair. Unbelievable. Now your hip bone!
If anyone can come from behind, more than once, twice I wont go on, YOU CAN!
I'm sorry this all has happen.
You are your best advocate, the clearest voice, you are amazing.
I hope you get physical therapy back.
Keep up posted. Best seasons xo
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hi hops,
Ya the old angel...at least she is upright! I have but 2 positions, sitting and lying down.
hi Mo2
My lawyer and I will make things fair! After all, for 6 months, and more to come, I have but been awake and asleep, and when awake I eat, drink, watch one TV show, read and am on the computer all day. My floor at the computer is sagging! Today was trying to rid an error message that has been popping up, and aggravates me.....and always listen to Susan Boyle as she really cheers me with her haunting melodies (oh I used that phrase in one of my songs.)
Thanks tt
I've had all this accident crap throw at me for 40 years and I will fight to the death!....and I will not cry or whine! I take a logical route with whatever facts are presented, after studying them.
hiya seasons
When I think that the infection came from my old wheelchair that I had to use, because ICBC wanted my damaged one (which was stolen by the hospital and I said so) before giving me a loaner, I went into hospital again re the 2nd surgery and by now I had a loaner but the rep between me and ICBC came and took away the loaner, "just in case" and brought it back on my release date. Why would she do that unless she had some belief that I was telling the truth? I have no answer yet about "having no hip". I think if one bears weight on a leg like this the two bones would CRASH together and cause enormous pain! My lawyer used a term "medical necessity"--which it isn't because I don't bear weight... but I am still checking on useless bones that could die and , well...... more to come on that investigation!
I will likely get my physical therapy back, but it will be with a different approach, I'll bet!
Cheers All
Love
Izzy
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Hey Iz... (forgive me - I'm just getting caught up after some time away)...
I'm thinkin' you're on to something with the pain + hip problem connection. I mean, wouldn't that also throw your spine wonky? your tailbone? And after living through a year/two of sciatica... I can tell ya that there are LOTS of nerves around the spine that affect both the leg & arm on that side.
"Dem bones" serve the purpose of keeping everything "where it's supposed to be"... and if there's a big gap like you describe... there is inevitably pressure (where it's NOT supposed to be) that causes pain. Keep pursuing this research... I think you're on to something that the docs & specialists haven't thought of yet...
go get 'em, Tiger!
:D
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Thanks PR,
I mind is trying to wrap itself around this no hip to leg connection. Being in a wheelchair (more or less) for 40 years, do you think I can remember what the hip does? NOPE! I see the Internet often refers to the femur, long thigh bone as a hip bone. I was making some pics for my sister and will post them here.
The one is the regular femur, which includes the ball. The ball runs around on the 'orange' hip socket. Well my femur was broken at the black line I drew on this and the yellow lines on the second pictur as to what *I* see this unattached bone doing when I move, waving all over, if there is space.
I didn't ask on Wed'y as some of these 'unknowns' require time to think upon!
This is our Thanksgiving, in Canada, and everyone is away and no one has acknowledged my lastest news!
I am thankful for be a Canadian, as by a fluke I saw 2 movies last night about an American woman who married an Iranian doctor in the States and after 20 years in USA and 10 of marriqge, he took her back to Iran..with their 6 yr.old... where she becasme a nobody and he becomes a tyrant, and she had to escape with her daughter. "Not without my Daughter". More than anything that I can remember, I felt her fear...right here in my safe livingroom. Sally Field.
The other was "Rendition" about American big-wigs torturing the wrong man, who knew nothing, and his wife efforts to find him. It was an English speaking movie, with Egyptian? taking 50%, or an Egyptian? movie with English taking 50%./
There was such torture in both movies, that I sure felt thankful for just a LITTLE leg pain! I find that I can "hide' myself in books and movies that I KNOW will never be a part of my life!
The gap is likely small but as long as there is gap, I suspect there will be pain. Dr. gave another 6 months to heal with things this way....but not the gap.
12:00 noon....time to lie down, been up since 7am
Love
Izzy
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Hey Izzy!
Check in, won't you?
It's been awhile since we heard from you and I would love to know how you are doing.
CB
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Hi CB,
Thanks for asking,
Recap
Sept 24th pain flared up--possible reason being that most of swelling has disappeared
Oct 7- to hospital to see Dr. Leung, and new x-ray showing the non-union (Internet verifies that non-unions are usually discoverd at about 6 months) then sent for blood test re infection, then holiday weekend and no results until I called Oct 13.
Oct 21-to hospital to see my surgeon, O'Farrell, who specified that I require a Girdlestone Arthroplasty, which in our simple speak is to remove the head (ball) of the femur and my leg with likely be shorter (Internet say 1"-3") but could be less..these are my thoughts. (If) When I have therapy and have my leg pulled, then enough cartilage will grow in that spot to keep the shortage down to centimetres. The space might be only a centimeter or two and the worst pain is when sitting and I hear noises (bones rubbing together) and when I am prone, there is less pain and more sleep, but nothing stays the same. It's always changing so keep me guessing. He wanted me to see another Ortho Surgeon to have a second opinion, so I had an appontment with Oliver on
Oct 26 Oliver made rounds in hospital when I was in before but didn't recognize me with no make-up. (He had dealt with my leg that healed crookedly in '07-'08) He is the one I called a Narcissistic money-grubbing Psychopath when I was influenced by drugs, morphine and codeine and was hallucinating. (I apologized the next day.--said I was ½ asleep and felt I'd said something un-called for. He smiled.) For my 9:15 am appointment, I had been up since 3:00 am, went by taxi, and was still not taken by 9:45 when he was called away to surgery. I felt a bathroom trip coming on, can't use public, as too painful to wiggle back into being dressed, so cancelled, made one for Monday, Nov 2 and came home.
The pain was just as excruciating as when leg was first broken and I had no meds, I called my GP and he wanted to see me. I just told his nurse, to never mind, as if he couldn't do this over the phone, as he promised, to the drug store and the drug store deliver on my Visa, then forget it. I asked if she had not received the paperwork from my hospital trips and she said "No...(pause) well my filing isn't done) I just took 3, instead of 2 Tylenol Extra Strength when I needed. I'll get that guy and have an answer or know why--which it seems I already think I do.
So since Sept 24th, I have been out 3 times only, to the hospital. Been watching plenty of movies and pretending I am having fun.
O'Farrells Office called already to have a workup on me for the surgery so it could be very soon after I see Oliver this Monday. O'Farrell is surgeon and Oliver will assist. (I asked her for it that way and told her what I called Oliver and that I didn't want to be alone with him under anesthetic....she just howled!) WOW another scar, but the GA is to fix the pain. After seven months, I might wonder who I am without it! I still have my house helper, but therapy was pulled at end of Sept. I was furious that Mary Jo felt she could make that unilateral decision, and contacted my lawyer. The point is moot now, that because of the pain, which I didn't know to what it was leading, would have been painful, or might it have prevented some of the agony in spite of the non-union? MJ had already pulled therapy before Sept 24th!!! So would I have discovered the non-union? Likely somewhere along the way. (Read of one guy, 32 months non-union.)
My lawyer jumped on her, incensed, as she said I could do my therapy on my own. 2 exercises , with pictures, show a therpaist working with the patient, and the rest were for me on my own, but I always did them better will my therapist here, cheering me on.
So it's the knife again, and I just came on to see about Hallowe'en.
Love to all
Izzy
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Nice costume, Izzz! Put a lot of thought into that one, did ya? :lol:
I am sorry you have the surgical ordeal ahead, but if it eases the infernal pain you've been going through, I imagine that's the payoff...
What a tiresome personal Bataan you've had this year.
I hope the surgery means a big chance for relief after you've recuperated.
Sounds to me as though there is real hope for that.
Been thinking of you, sending vague herby thoughts in hopes of calming the pain...
(were I Queen o' Universe, that is).
love to you,
Hops
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Thanks Hops,
I suppose many things are sent to test us....for what tho? The final exam?
Yesterday, Dr. Oliver verified that this surgery would relieve the pain, so that is my main objective.
I had to change my cushion as I realized it was a problem, (always on the look out for better ways) as my thigh had swollen so much and heavy that the cushion was off kilter. Now most swelling is gone and that might be why I had the flare up,.I wonder if swelling can be a "padding"? Nevertheless, I feel as though I am sitting straighter.
I found out there are special cushions for discrepancies in leg lengths too, so will await a more or less final conclusion after surgery and therapy.
Thanks for thinking of me
Love
Izzy
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think of you a lot, hon.
all hail Dr. Oliver and getting rid of your pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boy, once you're back to snuff and that's behind you, I imagine a trail of twangy tunes being composed...
(Meanwhile, thank God for movies. I'm glad you have them.)
xo
Hops
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Thanks Hops, (aka Queen of the Uuniverse)
Surgery date called in this a.m. by Dr. O'Farrell's office, December 1st.
Dr. Oliver agreed with Dr. O'Farrell's solution so I have 2 handsome Drs. to assist one another with me. After that I will know what kind of therapy I will have. I asked Oliver if leg stretches, 'pulling my leg', could minimize length discrepancy and he said yes!
So now I wait, and my lawyer comes today for his 8 week update (though I email him other things in between, especially if I require his input/stepping in)
Love
Iz
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Wow Izz..... surgery.
Again.
If anyone can handle it, I know you can.
::sending prayers for end of pain and Izzy back to normal::
Mo2
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Hi Mo2
I missed you and was thinking of you and wondering how you are,
Yes more invasive surgery, only the date has changed to Nov 12. I go in for pre-surgery screening on Tuesday 10th
It's kinda scary, thinking about it, as it popped up so soon. At least December is next month.
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Oy, Izz.
I know getting ready for things like this is a trial for you..... on top of everything else you have going on.
I wish I could bring you mommy food, fresh flowers and ice cream (((Izzy.)))
I'm hanging in there...... taking one day at a time and watching my children grow.
They're doing well and we're keeping very busy.
Good luck with surgery..... I'll be sending you white light and healing thoughts.
Mo2