Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: VVVCM on October 26, 2004, 06:14:28 PM

Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: VVVCM on October 26, 2004, 06:14:28 PM
Hello Board.

The problems I've been reading in the Romper Room and the other Ramble thread appear to be fairly obvious to me. Also simple to deal with as a board. I think we should have a vote about whether CG should stay or leave.

Phoenix doesn't seem to have any real problem with Portia apart from CG. The conflict is mainly CG centred.

Portia doesn't have any real problem with Phoenix apart from CG. And ditto. Portia seems to be mainly in confict with Phoenix regarding CG.

This conflict has been raging on regularly and exhaustingly for many months now.

I wonder about the Newbies finding this forum at times like this. Newbies who are hurting and need a place to talk. I wonder if they might go away with a very wrong impression of what this forum is all about.

So it seems to me that the problem here, still  :roll:  is really created by CG and her presence as a participant on this forum.

It's also worth recognising that Phoenix contributes ppostively to many people here and Portia contributes positively to many people here also.

And CG doesn't.  CG by her own admission stays in the Ramble thread and contributes to just a few. And sometimes inappropriately. Personally, I think that CG's style doesn't fit the ethos of this board.

I think this recurring problem and negative energy the board is experiencing, which isn't doing anyone any good, would be easily solved if CG would consider the good of the board and the newbies and leave. I'm sure there are other boards she can go to. Boards who don't mind that style.

Just wanted to open this up to the board to discussion and a vote.

My vote is that CG should leave.

Signed
Very Very Very Concerned Member
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 26, 2004, 07:01:08 PM
Ellie - Not logged in

What if a new section is created on the main menu under Reading material for MISC postings. This exists on several message board - a place for people who want to chat or rant about things not necessarily associated with the main topic. This allows folks to stay who have been here for a while, made friendships and want to remain with this board, but have a Misc place to just chat. That way the folder is not included with these posts, so it does not scare off newbies, but we don't have to run anyone off. Ramble and Romper Room threads can be moved there. We all have the ability to join in if we want, everyone already posting there still remains, all is well with the world. Then if topics are created that begin to resemble these threads on the main message board, they too can be moved over.

Because we do not really know anyone's status, I think it would be harmful to run anyone off unless it can be proven they are a mole, spy, trouble maker, grunt, whatever you want to call it. We do not have the ability to prove that.

Just MHO  :idea:
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 26, 2004, 07:30:47 PM
Great Idea Ellie!!

Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!!  To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???

My vote:

CG Stays
Portia Stays
Solace Stays
Everybody stays
Whoever doesn't want to--goes.

Or: You go chat with your buds in the new "area of the board"

but put up a big sign:

"THOSE WHO DO NOT MEET THE SCRIPT ARE EXCLUDED HERE.
 DON'T EVEN KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
 YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN.
 YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS US AND
 DON'T DARE EVEN THINK YOU ARE!!!"

Ofcourse, I won't sing MY name.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 26, 2004, 07:32:16 PM
Ofcourse, my posts are just soo noticable anyway.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 26, 2004, 08:07:01 PM
Definition:  solace to console - to make cheerful, to allay or soothe, alleviation of grief or anxiety
 

The name you've chosen and what you're doing on this board is an oxymoron.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Dee on October 26, 2004, 08:13:18 PM
I second that emotion Guest.

Why not do as Ellie suggested. It seems reasonable to me. I don't have the perception that S does. I don't see anything to offend at all. And then we wouldn't have to see it when we get on the board. Thanks, Ellie.

Dee
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: les on October 26, 2004, 08:33:03 PM
I agree Ellie - it is important to keep the board as welcoming and friendly as possible. Even for an old timer like me (6 months) Romper and Ramble remind me too much of the out of control hostile behaviour from Nm.

Generally I don't read R and R but when I do I actually shake. I don't feel safe.

I never would have had the courage to post if I'd read these threads in the beginning.  IMO this isn't so much about control as it is about creating a safe environment, particularly for the newbies who are testing the waters. It's a scary time. If controls are necessary to achieve a relatively safe haven then so be it.  

The other option of course is to simply not read these threads.  I need to heed my own advice.

Les
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 26, 2004, 08:38:36 PM
Quote
Great Idea Ellie!!

Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!! To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???


Your are jumping on the wrong person  solace/somebody.   Ellie was not the one who started this thread, nor was she the one you should leave this forum.  That was VVVCM.   Ellie's  idea of  creating another section for misc. chat is a very good idea considering all the crap that is going down now.  

Before you crawl up someone's bum, make sure you've got the right person solace/somebody.   :roll:
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Ellie on October 26, 2004, 09:13:45 PM
Dear, dear Solace :evil: ,

Someone really must have hurt you badly to jump on my ass that bad. If you read my posting again you will see I did not say banish in any way - but at this very moment I feel like when I have attempted to explain myself to Nmom. You just acted like her twin! In fact I do not know why I'm wasting my time with you except this is a great outlet for my now exasperated week!

You lash out to hurt for your own pleasure when it is not called for. I did not say anything about removing someone, but in the definition of Ns, they project their fears on others, so I guess you are truely fearful of being removed! As far as control - look in the mirror sister. Speaking of abuse - you verbally abused me unmercifully!

Solace said:
Quote
Bannish those who you feel superior to to some other place!!

Fantastic!!

Watch what you say or you'll get "removed" too!!!

The consideration is nice but the concept condones control.

Control who posts where.

Control who speaks what.

Control who is allowed to abuse who.

Yep.

Control again.

BE off!! To the chat board with ya!!

wtf???

My vote:

CG Stays
Portia Stays
Solace Stays
Everybody stays
Whoever doesn't want to--goes.

Or: You go chat with your buds in the new "area of the board"

but put up a big sign:

"THOSE WHO DO NOT MEET THE SCRIPT ARE EXCLUDED HERE.
DON'T EVEN KNOCK ON THE DOOR.
YOU WILL NOT BE ALLOWED IN.
YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS US AND
DON'T DARE EVEN THINK YOU ARE!!!"

Ofcourse, I won't sing MY name.


In fact - YOU JUST LIED LIKE MY F***ing Nmom has done to me everyday of my life!
 :twisted:
Come on this board and treat us like our Ns have treated us and you will get the reaction I have waited for 45 years to give my Nmom!

Get the h*** out of my face! :twisted:
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: iwonder on October 26, 2004, 09:42:00 PM
Huh?  Why is Solace getting so bent out of shape at the wrong person?  Wasn't this thread about  "CG"  anyways?

Solace..... did you forget to sign in as CG before you went off on a rant  at Ellie?
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: BlueTopaz on October 26, 2004, 09:54:53 PM
Geez!

Honestly, just like Ellie says, I think it would be best to have another category added to the 3 already existing main ones at the sites main page:

http://www.voicelessness.com/disc3/

That way, those not wanting to read the stuff don't even have to see it, and those wanting to post in it are free to.  Nobody gets kicked off and nobody is bothered by the friction and negativity.

With this being the 3rd new thread about this whole no end in site thing, it really is taking over the board too much (yes I'm posting in it, but with a purpose, not as someone embroiled).  

Gosh, I wish the interest on my money would grow exponentially in the manner and time frame of these disputes!   New arguments keep getting added,  everything expands, and new people become involved as feelings are hurt.    

I wish Dr. Grossman would add another main header entitled Misc. or "Anything Goes", or "Blow Off Steam" etc... where the description notes that it is ok to talk about anything, resolve disputes etc, and though it might be a good place 99 % of the time, you also enter at your own "risk".  

I think it would be a smart move.  I'm with you all the way on that one, Ellie.  

BT
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Kiba Jin in guest mode on October 26, 2004, 09:55:00 PM
Quote from: les


I never would have had the courage to post if I'd read these threads in the beginning.  IMO this isn't so much about control as it is about creating a safe environment, particularly for the newbies who are testing the waters. It's a scary time. If controls are necessary to achieve a relatively safe haven then so be it.  

The other option of course is to simply not read these threads.  I need to heed my own advice.

Les


I started to read both of the R threads and stopped as emotions seemed to be running very high and personal and I (a newbie)  feel I'm in no position to judge who's "in the right" or "wrong" of it. Now I avoid them and have no wish to jump in and post there. I empthize with  Les's feelings about having the courage to post if those are some of the first threads read. It's understandable that emotions will fire in a forum like this, but I agree with Les on creating a safe environment across the forum for newcomers.  I invited my sister to come here and join, but told her maybe she should hold off as these R&R threads seem to be the most active and sharing our experiences maybe wouldn't get noticed or wanted.  This forum is a great find  for those who've lived with Npeople and continue to do so -- like a well in a very dry empty desert to me. So I hope things will smooth out in time.

I know some forums or groups will make a subsection specifically for ranting, bile and general internet teeth-baring. Maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea here. I say get it out in a specific spot, but some bioharzard markers up and those that want to go swimming may do so without involving those who do not.

peace n' donuts
KJ
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 02:51:46 AM
This is an emotional support message board not a hangout-hookup central.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 03:14:56 AM
Quote from: Anonymous
Ellie - Not logged in

What if a new section is created on the main menu under Reading material for MISC postings. This exists on several message board - a place for people who want to chat or rant about things not necessarily associated with the main topic. This allows folks to stay who have been here for a while, made friendships and want to remain with this board, but have a Misc place to just chat. That way the folder is not included with these posts, so it does not scare off newbies, but we don't have to run anyone off. Ramble and Romper Room threads can be moved there. We all have the ability to join in if we want, everyone already posting there still remains, all is well with the world. Then if topics are created that begin to resemble these threads on the main message board, they too can be moved over.
Because we do not really know anyone's status, I think it would be harmful to run anyone off unless it can be proven they are a mole, spy, trouble maker, grunt, whatever you want to call it. We do not have the ability to prove that.

Just MHO  :idea:


I agree with this comment. There is much merit in the ideas. A closed 'rant room' could be a good answer to these problems we're constantly experiencing. Also people who have genuine gripes or want to start gripe threads aren't stifled and or feel to be made voiceless but have an appropriate place to take it instead of shoving there issues in everyone elses face. Perhaps it could reduce some exhibitionism and need to be the center of attention activities also.

Do we want problem threads to be so visible and our introduction to newbies? I don't like it when I come here and find so much in-fighting. I think it adversely affects both newcomers and the general attitude of support we usually enjoy here.

The down side od rant room or sin bin could be that anyone who wanted to could turn anyone's thread nasty for hidden personal reasons. Threads cold be 'gotten rid of by manipulation and then sent to a 'sin bin'. Perhaps hostility and grudges could develop. How is that addressed or doesn't it matter? Perhaps it wouldn't matter. Perhaps that may develop more greater general tolerance and thinking before speaking. Perhaps that's merely detail I'm expressing concerns for.  Can anyone tell me how it works on other boards that have 'rant rooms' and 'sin bins' that they've been involved with?

Interested to hear.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 03:19:16 AM
Quote from: Anonymous
This is an emotional support message board not a hangout-hookup central.


Do you have a problem with someone inviting one of their relatives to join this board too? Why? If their sister of friend or anyone they know is dealing with a narcissist too, why not?
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 06:58:51 AM
I wonder why CG is blamed for what goes on in the Ramble thread?  Hey - why is she blamed for what goes on here in the board as a whole!  

Fact : Portia started the Ramble thread, several people chimed in, and it ended mainly with CG chatting with Portia.  Then some other people got involved in kicking Ramble and the people in it.  

Supposition : They didn't like the intimacy in that thread, I guess.  Felt threatened by it or jealous of it.  

Fact : But because some bullies start bullying people in Ramble thread, the Board has treated Ramble as THE problem.  The bullied were the victims but now they are also the scapegoats.

Opinion :

Shame on the board for scapegoating the bullied.

Shame on the bullies for remaining anonymous.  

phoenix starts a thread because of some bustup with Portia then starts saying mean things about CG

And suddenly everyone turns on CG as the problem.

Come off it.

Scapegoating again.

Solace - butt out of the issue of CG - everytime you jump in you cause problems with and for CG.  Your situation and the way you communicate presses buttons here.  Stop trying to 'help' - for some reason your attemtps to 'help' are destructive.  Find the means to deal with your own issues instead.  Check out the Enneagram : transform number 2 (must help) into its healing opposite.  Work on it.  Stop helping.

I remember the story of CG - her childhood.  For those who have not read her early stories here on the board, then shame on you for what you do to her.  We have all suffered at the hands of our parents but none more so than CG. Hers is a horror story which could never be imagined.  Her story of survival is a bloody miracle.  Stand in awe and learn.

We are all human beings with good and bad in us, anger and pain.  If you say mean things, we hurt.  Why does this board want to cause so much pain for CG???

CG was named as Caring Guest here on the board as a result of her support and valient bravery and effort expended on behalf of others.  That's what CG stands for.

Don't complain about someone who validates others.  What nonsense.   Get real and stop projecting your own demons onto individuals here on the board.  You do not know the harm you cause.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 27, 2004, 07:44:20 AM
Thankyou for your comments Guest above:

Hi Guest:

I posted something nice to Meadow and the bullying began.
For some reason that fact is eliminated.

My helping is not helping.
I hear you.
Have you read my post to Meadow?

Ellie:

I'm so very sorry I jumped on you.  I have no excuse.  It felt to me like you were wanting to send CG and whoever to a dungeon for the crime of speaking in ramble.
I reacted badly to your idea and voiced my anger directly to you.
That was not fair and I am sorry.

My anger is toward the whole acceptance of bullying and abusing that I have seen here on this board.  That is not your fault and you were trying to help too.  I guess you're helping didn't help me but that is no reason to direct my response to you.  I misinterpreted or misperceived and I am truly sorry.

I do, however, maintain a similar opinion as the Guest above here posted.
Rather than shame on the board, I'd rather say:  Please stop bullying others and please stop accepting this bullying of others.  This is truly what will turn new people away.

S
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Portia on October 27, 2004, 10:09:55 AM
VVVCM Guess I get to jabber here? Is this thread still with you? No matter, I shall reply to you. Sorry folks here, this is a biggie, I just kept at it and it grew..

Quote
Phoenix doesn't seem to have any real problem with Portia apart from CG. The conflict is mainly CG centred.

Portia doesn't have any real problem with Phoenix apart from CG. And ditto. Portia seems to be mainly in confict with Phoenix regarding CG.

Ummm. I’m not sure this is my reality right now. I don’t want to talk about Phoenix either, unless it’s to her, which makes answering this tricky. Er, I think I can say that while it looks like I’m in conflict with Phoenix, I don’t think I am, really. I think we’re struggling to understand each other. It can look like conflict, but it isn’t destructive. Well I don’t think so. Phoenix will see things differently coz that’s how we’re made isn’t it? We can never get inside someone else’s head. Sad but true.

But as for it being CG centred, I don’t think so. Often I think it’s me and I should leave! In my head, lots of people would like to see the back of me. And I stop posting, or post as Guest, or as another name. I do that because I think the Portia name carries too much history. And if I’m seen to support someone, others might not like it. So the person I’m supporting might be ‘caught’. I think I am seen as ‘bad’ or disruptive by some. I think people might think I ‘took sides’ with Somebody. I did take a side (eventually, after swearing and stamping my feet), the side of not excluding or persecuting anyone. Inclusion is not agreement is it? We don’t have to love and agree with everyone in order to tolerate each other?

Aside: a heard a radio prog the other day about Inuits in Greenland. Apparently they don’t have a word for ‘punishment’. Amazing! Because they don’t believe, it’s not part of their meaning, that a person can be ‘bad’. When someone does something ‘wrong’ they don’t think the person is bad and they don’t even think of punishment: instead they realise that something caused the person to behave or think as they did. And they try to find out what happened. They ask questions! Think I wanna live in Greenland. If it wasn’t so cold. Anyway, just wanted to share that.

Quote
I wonder about the Newbies finding this forum at times like this. Newbies who are hurting and need a place to talk. I wonder if they might go away with a very wrong impression of what this forum is all about.

Yes, this worries me. How many never even post? But can you or I help that? And surely they have the option to come back later? So I guess it’s okay. But I admit, when I post what I think is a tough post, I do come back frequently to see if I need to talk, apologise, make amends. I take risks here I might not take in ‘real’ life. Oh I don’t know though. I do take more risks now I think about it. And the sky hasn’t fallen in yet. Yeah!

Quote
And CG doesn't. CG by her own admission stays in the Ramble thread and contributes to just a few. And sometimes inappropriately. Personally, I think that CG's style doesn't fit the ethos of this board.

I love CG so I’m just a tad biased. And I’ve seen CG in guest mode be very supportive of others (I’m guessing it was CG at the time coz it wasn’t always obvious). I think I can be very confrontational, or I used to be, and over time I’ve seen CG’s style as kinder in some ways and so much wisdom given freely. Such generosity! But then other times she’s made me wince with swearing! And over the top expressions (one to HUG&C comes to mind where I really did wince, physically). (CG when you read this, it was the one about the cross and skirt. Wow. I know some awful things were being said about me at the time, but I couldn’t have written that so graphically. Ha ha maybe it’s just my image-brain picture-making.)

I VOTE CG STAYS.

So what did everyone else on this thread think? Did they answer you VVVCM?

Oh wow. Well Solace, you vented big time there! I’ve got a hunch there’s lots more where that came from and you know what? I think it’s good. It needs to come out. I don’t know if you can do it here, I really hope you don’t do it to people here, coz you know it’s not about them don’t you? Course you do. Who are you really angry about? Want some candidates from me? Come on S. Both your parents treated you like shit and it’s time you said so. You can forgive them once you’ve really thought about what they did to you, when you’ve wept and shouted and screamed and got it out. Maybe I’m wrong. But I like to see you lose control. It’s okay. What’s not okay is who’s in your way at the time. Okay? I’m here. You can rage at me. Tell me how to get you angry at me! Did I just do that?

It’s a pity it went in your direction Ellie. Mind you, you got some good anger out yourself too. Anger is okay! It’s okay to be angry. It’s necessary to be angry. When we’ve stuffed much of our anger about our childhoods, heck, it’s got to come out or it just might kill us. Heart attack stuff. I hope you’re okay Ellie. Big voice back there, love it.

Dee, Les, Blue Topaz: can I talk to you together please? I hope I’ve got this right. You seem to want to ‘not see’ the conflicts. Like you said Les, you can not read those threads. Difficult I think! But getting an idea of someone’s personality is important, if you’re going to give any credence to any advice they give? So you have to see what’s happening everywhere. I guess. And isn’t it like watching the news? I don’t want to see war, killing, starvation etc but it’s there, in full terrible colour. I can look away, turn it off. It doesn’t stop it happening. It’s the real world. And becoming more self-aware, I think, is also becoming more aware of how the world around us operates. We’re not separate from it, we’re part of it. How we react to it is what’s important.

Iwonder:
Quote
Solace..... did you forget to sign in as CG before you went off on a rant at Ellie?
Stop this crap about people being multiple personas here. It’s taunting and childish and helps nobody. If you can’t say something helpful, shut up until you can. IMHO. It’s just an opinion.

Kiba Jin:
Quote
sharing our experiences maybe wouldn't get noticed or wanted
Good point and it made me go ‘ouch’. You’re right, expending too much time and energy on conflicts with a few people can mean that others get ignored. But I’m only one person. And not everyone is caught up in Ramble/Romper whatever. Some members don’t post to these threads and don’t even read them! Bunny has said that she doesn’t read Ramble and I was relieved. It’s no big deal. Those involved in conflicts don’t (usually) lash out at those not involved. So – umm – noticed or wanted? The more I think about those words, the more questions I have. I didn’t come here to be noticed or wanted so I can’t really understand. I came here for answers – clarity, information, to help me understand things. Maybe I've misinterpreted those words of yours. Probably.

Guest:
Quote
Perhaps it could reduce some exhibitionism and need to be the center of attention activities also.
I doubt it. Wounded people come in all shapes sizes and needs. And somehow here some expect to get along better than in real life. I don’t know why. We’re all just people. Trying to sort out our stuff. Why this board should be some soothing, non-confrontational haven, I don’t know. I think there are other places for that. Places where you can’t be anonymous and therefore where you do watch what you say. Personally I prefer upfront honesty. But I know that’s just me and I don’t speak for anyone else at all. Just me. Not newcomers, not other members, I speak just for me.

Guest:
Quote
But because some bullies start bullying people in Ramble thread, the Board has treated Ramble as THE problem.
Interesting, hadn’t thought of that! But can I say, Ramble hasn’t been all good at all, and I have got nasty stuff in there. But then, nasty stuff came to Ramble to twist my head inside out and give me a good hiding. All actions have consequences. But yes, CG is definitely not the problem and hasn’t been The Problem. CG/Sunny is member like everyone else, only human.

Hiya again Solace:
Quote
My anger is toward the whole acceptance of bullying and abusing that I have seen here on this board.
 I gotta disagree S! Bet you knew I would? I think your anger is about a whole lot more: rejection, alienation, abuse, yes being an intelligent child being utterly and completely controlled by the twerps who you lived with. I know it wasn’t their fault S, but heck, that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt you. Your experience is what matters – not their intention. All that matters is what S the little girl had to experience and how you coped with your experiences which I wouldn’t wish on anyone. You had a very bad time of it S. Very bad. Do you know that?

Anyway VVVCM, it seems it’s not ‘all CG’s fault’ after all. Not many votes here! But I get the impression folk here don’t want to force anyone to leave. Which is great isn’t it? That people can live together on a message board? It is great.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Ellie on October 27, 2004, 11:30:47 AM
Hi Solace,
I am no longer offended. You said:
Quote
Ellie:

I'm so very sorry I jumped on you. I have no excuse. It felt to me like you were wanting to send CG and whoever to a dungeon for the crime of speaking in ramble.
I reacted badly to your idea and voiced my anger directly to you.
That was not fair and I am sorry.


Appology accepted.

I appologize for my strong statements back. I was venting.

The best thing I learned since hearing about voicelessness is that since I was not allowed to speak up in the past, I could not be held accountable for someone else's words or actions. My Nmom and Ndad held me accountable for everything, but as long as I couldn't stand up and say what I thought, there were no consequenses outside of the family.

But now that I have found my voice, I am responsible for expressing my thoughts and opinions. I am learning to accept that I may say something someone does not agree with, and that they may say something I may not agree with. I am learning to deal with this. Sometimes I deal ok, sometimes not so ok.

Time to move on - ok?
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 27, 2004, 11:50:02 AM
Thanks for accepting my appology Ellie:

"I appologize for my strong statements back. I was venting. "

No problem Ellie.  I don't blame you for your response.  I feel like you have heard me and I you.  That feels good.

Enjoy today.

S
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 27, 2004, 11:54:31 AM
Hi P:

Responding to your words to me in your post.  

"I really hope you don’t do it to people here, coz you know it’s not about them don’t you?"

Yes and I did appoligize for that and I'm even giving myself credit for not directing my big burst to anyone else after that.  It was my error and I take full responsibility for it.  I'm usually pretty honest about taking my lumps.

"Both your parents treated you like shit and it’s time you said so."

Did that P.  Years ago.  Really feel at peace in that area as I did vent during and after I left that house of horrors.  Still call it a house of horrors though.  Won't deny that.  I'm trying not to be too wordy here but P, I'm not angry with my parents anymore.  Really did feel it all and do the necessary stuff to get to that peace.  They have both passed on now.

"You can rage at me. "

What a generous offer.  Thanks.  I don't have any reason to rage at you P.  I feel like I am being raged at by some inappropriately and that has upset me and my reactions are no more perfect than any one else's.   Still, I better try harder to be gentle with those who are hurting too, eh?

"Tell me how to get you angry at me! Did I just do that?"

No you didn't and I can see your desire to help P.  Thanks again.

"I hope you’re okay Ellie."

Me too Ellie.  Thanks again for accepting my appology.

"I think your anger is about a whole lot more: ....."

Well, I am angry to see this voting business.  I'm angry to see all these accusations about you and CG and I all being one person posting.  It's not true and it seems very  abusive.  Rejection?  That's not quite as bad as you may imagine.  I'm ok in many ways but I don't like the pro-jection.  I'm the goat for it.  That's how it feels to me.  Then, CG is the goat.  Then, you say: "Often I think it’s me and I should leave!".  Maybe you're feeling a little goatish too, at those times??  How can a board designed for voicing emotions tolerate the induction of such scape goating of it's own members with such ease??  Get's me riled up!!  And I should not post when I am angry, should I?  Might direct it at the wrong source and I sure do not want to do that.

I came here and started to post some bits of my situation and about what was bothering me.  I was in a very sad state.  The rage I feel is toward my sister's behaviour and the effects of her n'ism on me.  She is the person I allowed to control me, frequently, for many, many years and I ignored her abuse for a very long time.   I stuffed my rage about my sister and I sometimes keep stuffing it, and I have released some-- but she keeps on with her stuff and ofcourse, I cannot end that.  I know she grew up in that house of horrors too and she has not dealt with it.

" Your experience is what matters ".  Thanks P.  Not just mine but everyone here deserves the same oportunity to express, don't you think?  Without a cruel vote being taken against them, and without having their story finished with imaginary and incorrect information, which is then deemed fact, and without what they reveal being used against them.  What do you think?  I bet you agree.

S
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Michelle on October 27, 2004, 11:58:56 AM
My vote is CG should stay.  I have received much support and encouragement from her in my healing process.  I have also received challenging advice from her which has been hard at times but necessary and has helped me move along in my process of healing.

Hugs to all,
Michelle
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Portia on October 27, 2004, 12:04:31 PM
Course I agree with you S!

Quote
I know she grew up in that house of horrors too and she has not dealt with it.

Does that make you angry? It would me. For wasting her emotional strength on fighting that which is buried to keep it buried? Just pondering here. Thanks for not taking my words as an attack. Is she older or younger than you? and I'm not supposed to be here....! Just asking questions as ever...gotta post another and go! P
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Portia on October 27, 2004, 12:07:02 PM
...sorry Michelle missed you up above...yeah! CG stays! Sunny, get yourself back in here gal, you're being missed! :D P
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: BlueTopaz on October 27, 2004, 12:14:06 PM
Quote
Dee, Les, Blue Topaz: can I talk to you together please? I hope I’ve got this right. You seem to want to ‘not see’ the conflicts. Like you said Les, you can not read those threads. Difficult I think! But getting an idea of someone’s personality is important, if you’re going to give any credence to any advice they give? So you have to see what’s happening everywhere. I guess. And isn’t it like watching the news? I don’t want to see war, killing, starvation etc but it’s there, in full terrible colour. I can look away, turn it off. It doesn’t stop it happening. It’s the real world. And becoming more self-aware, I think, is also becoming more aware of how the world around us operates. We’re not separate from it, we’re part of it. How we react to it is what’s important.


Hi Portia,

Firstly, nothing here is said with a bad energy.   I am so not at an angry and argumentative phase right now in my life….     I am moving toward a more peaceful and healing energy…  

You’ve got it half right in my case :)      I don't have any prob. with conflict per se at all, but the thing is, it usually gets resolved.  This thing is never ending, and that is one huge difference.  

I also think it has gone beyond mere “conflict” into just some downright mean and hostile stuff, and this is imporant to recognize as well.

IMHO it is also interfering in a negative way, with the board in general.
How?  

1) People that could normally reply to other threads in a supportive manner are spending their time involved in these argumentative threads…

2) More innocent people are getting pulled in and hurt.   Look at what just happened with Ellie.

3) People who would like to share on other threads may not because they might feel like they will be singled out due to things they have said in these volatile threads.   It takes and amount of trust to be vulnerable, even on a message board.    

Some have left the group because of the conflict as well.

4) When there are 2, 3 (will it be 4?) threads all dealing with the same dispute, it might scare away new, emotionally tender people who have already come out of enough violence and arguing, and could really use the support.  

It isn’t going anywhere positive, and again, it isn’t getting resolved.  

I respect what you say about getting to know all aspects of people, though I think we have come to see this by now.    If we need to see someone is a cold blooded murderer, we don’t need to watch them kill 10 people. We got the point the first time around.  Or a philanthropist lol... (the example was a bit neg. & not directed in a personal way toward the threads).

Besides, those involved within those threads often tell those bothered, to simply not read them.  So in that case, we are back at square one in terms of the bigger picture of people.    

It’s just a lot easier to ignore them when they are not so pervasive/omipresent to the board, and taking away from other aspects of the board (those things as mentioned above).  

There are people telling the group they are feeling affected by the never ending, growing volatile threads.  Out of nothing by kindness and consideration, why not just move these topics over somewhere else?  I know this is not in your/other's control, but  theoretcially, for discussion sake.  They are not shut down, stifled, etc.,  They are just in an environment where they can do/say as they please and not worry about getting slack from adding too much negativity to the board.   Honestly, I can’t see why they wouldn’t be a happy group because of the move, too!  

Not with general and “normal” conflict that is always part of human communication at some point, but where conflict will be ongoing and involve a lot of people, messages, argumentative energy, etc.  It just makes sense to give it a separate venue of expression.

It is not a negative thing at all (maybe some involved are seeing it that way & that is part of the issue?)   It is only a matter of logistics and nothing personal  And like I said, I even see it as a  positive thing for those who will have their very own forum area for these ongoing discussions.  

That’s how I feel personally.

Best wishes!  I really do hope that you all come to some sort of resolution at some point, and that you begin to post in other threads as well, so some can get to know you better.   Personally, I only really know you/your character from the ramble & related threads!   I guess it has to do with when I joined.

Take care...

BT
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 27, 2004, 12:19:03 PM
Hi P:

Just a quick note back since I better get moving too!

No, I don't feel angry that my sister has not dealt with her stuff about her childhood.  It makes me feel pity for her and a desire to help her do that.  Unfortunately, she, as far as I know, has not done so.  She's said "it didn't effect me" and then pointed out all of my imperfections.  I worry about her and her children.  She is younger than me.  I am worried that she may have been sexually assaulted as a child, by my father.  I try to really feel my anger toward her and then I just feel how unfair that is of me.   :cry:
Then tremendous guilt, then great saddness. :cry:

S
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Dee on October 27, 2004, 12:23:47 PM
I agree with you BT. You expressed my concerns as well.

Portia, we have dealt with "reality" plenty. Conflicts do arise and mature and reasonable people can deal. But I don't see a problem with what Ellie suggested. It seems reasonable and logical to me. We don't need more drama here.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Wildflower on October 27, 2004, 12:54:17 PM
Quote
I wonder why CG is blamed for what goes on in the Ramble thread? Hey - why is she blamed for what goes on here in the board as a whole!

Fact : Portia started the Ramble thread, several people chimed in, and it ended mainly with CG chatting with Portia. Then some other people got involved in kicking Ramble and the people in it.

Supposition : They didn't like the intimacy in that thread, I guess. Felt threatened by it or jealous of it.

Fact : But because some bullies start bullying people in Ramble thread, the Board has treated Ramble as THE problem. The bullied were the victims but now they are also the scapegoats.


Thanks for saying this Guest.  I wish I'd been able to find similar words last night instead of babbling randomly to the wind.

Another fact is that in the time I've been on this board, there have been many who have been singled out over time.  Maybe it's just a fluke, and I keep logging on at volitile times, but to me, it seems that there's always at least one thread or one discussion about whether or not a certain board member is evil.

Last night was yet another time, only this time, those I care about were being targeted.  I got discouraged last night and wrote a big post - but I have to say, I felt encouraged again when I started reading other threads to kind of shake off the bad vibes.  There's so much great stuff going on here.

But there are also a lot of feelings running high at times.  I love that  things seem quieter today, and it gives me a lot of faith in the idea that people can be mad at each other and it's not the end of the world.  But I really really hope that people here can stop pointing fingers - and maybe when new folks come in, those who've been here longer can help them stop pointing fingers.

Quote
I remember the story of CG - her childhood. For those who have not read her early stories here on the board, then shame on you for what you do to her. We have all suffered at the hands of our parents but none more so than CG. Hers is a horror story which could never be imagined. Her story of survival is a bloody miracle. Stand in awe and learn.


I was there during much of the unfolding of the story of CG, and I agree completely with this.  Like Portia, I'm also biased because I love CG.  I can't begin to express the warmth, courage, and insight she's given me during some very difficult times for me.  It was very difficult for CG to even adopt that name, and now here she is, registering as a member!  :D It's great!  She found the courage to find a voice here, and there were people who were willing to listen and welcome her here.  Isn't that the point of this board?  Being able to find a voice for all the unspeakable things we've been through?  Do we really want to be the kind of board that squashes that?

If it's distracting to see a thread that morphs into a conversation of sometimes arguably irrelevant topics, then perhaps it might be useful to have another forum here for stuff like that.  My own experience is that threads have been started and some comfort has been established between members of the discussion.  Kind of like a mini chat room.  It was always an organic process, though - and one I think is part of a few members's healing processes.

So maybe it would make sense to have a different forum of little chat rooms or cafe tables or whatever.  I can't really see the harm in doing that, and I definitely see the benefit of people here being able to build relationships - without having to do so offline, which is a whole new level and challenge.

Wildflower
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: dharma on October 27, 2004, 01:11:57 PM
Like the seasons, everything has it's turn. The trick is knowing when to stay in a situation and when you'd be better off leaving a situation. I have left situations when I should have stayed and stayed when I should have left.

I think there are people here who actually should leave. I think their time is done. I don't know if CG is one of these people and can't really say that about anyone.

But I think it's something to think about. If you're here mainly as a rambler and not contributing to other threads, then maybe you should take the discussions to another place? I put a question mark there because I'm not trying to mandate anything but to really have yourself ask the question of whether you should be here. Are you helping or hurting?

Dharma
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 05:24:05 PM
That last post from Dharma pushed a few buttons for me and I'm trying very hard not to 'strike'.

This board isn't for people to make YOU feel better - to help YOU or harm YOU.  It's not everyone else's role to look after you or the other members of the board.

You see yourself at the centre of the world - narcissisticly, in a child-like way.

The board is for individual members to help themselves, receive support from some, be challenged by others - or just to 'be'.

It's OK to BE.  

Preferably 'be' authentically, honestly, rationally.

Preferable to make a contribution and a positive one at that.

But it's not a job

And most especially it's not a job of caring for others.

You wanted that from your parents, now you want that from the board.

This board exhausts people who give.

I've seen it happen time and again.

Each individual can decide to leave when they've taken their fill of what's on offer - not to be defined in terms of whether they are 'helping' or 'harming'.

I hope this helps you find a more realistic way of viewing the board and viewing your life and the role of other people in it.

But for the moment I'm really pissed off at the assumptions in that post.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 05:29:02 PM
I am the guest who made that last post.

I forgot to cast my vote.

My vote was that CG stays.

I've changed my mind.

CG should go.

Run for the hills, CG - before you are sucked dry by all the needs on this board.  They won't let you go until they've all had a piece of you, kicked you around, picked over the bones.  That's what they do to good people here.

Run, CG, run!!!!!!!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 05:47:35 PM
The posting above is the exact kind that runs help seekers and companion seekers away.

Ya know poster, we have all been hurt and we all lash out sometimes, but do you really have to be this mean? :cry:
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 06:18:36 PM
This board needs a freekin' moderator or two. To let it go on like this is kind of irresponsible. I'm sure there would be volunteers from the board if Dr. G put out the word.

Separate threads for certain topics and moderate to keep it in tact.  Right now it is like usenet or newsgroups, which are the wild west of online chat. Anything goes; abuse--bullying--arguments that literally last for
y-e-a-r-s

I was under the impression this board was a notch up from usenet & most emotional health related forums like this do moderate with great success. The boards thrive & the communities are caring & supportive with a lot of healing taking place.

What can I say  :(
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 07:37:51 PM
Initially this post appeared quite benign to me. So I dismissed it. Then the following responses caused me to go back and have another read. I read it again. I found in it very directed and specific and many very strong and pointed remarks.

Quote from: dharma
Quote
Like the seasons, everything has it's turn. The trick is knowing when to stay in a situation and when you'd be better off leaving a situation.
This thread is about CG. Quit playing games. You are meaning CG right from the beginning.

Quote
I think there are people here who actually should leave.
I agree. And I notice the plural (people). I agree with that too.

Quote
I think their time is done. I don't know if CG is one of these people and can't really say that about anyone.
You just did. And i'll get to it.

Quote
But I think it's something to think about.
I agree.

Quote
If you're here mainly as a rambler and not contributing to other threads, then maybe you should take the discussions to another place?
Rambler? We all know who the ramblers are here on this board. 2 main people. Portia and CG. That's what all these ongoing stinks are about. Thats' what this thread is about. Quit playing games. Yes, that's right I said "don't play games". Your comment are so very pointed and specific. And which rambler could you possibly be referring to? Duh? Let me guess?

Who else on this board only contributes to one thread regularly. There is only one. CG. We all know that. Come on!! Knock it off!! Stop treating people like idiots.

Cut out trying to pretend you're talking to or about anybody else but CG. You're here to tell the board that CG should go. Nothing wrong with that. And actually, surprise, I agreew with you !!!! That is my vote too!!!!

CG should go!!!!

I am reacting to you because I don't like the way you're casting your vote!! By manipulation. 1 vote your way isn't as effective as manipulating 10 votes your way is it? On reading I see you trying to do that  in a slimey sneaky N way. Next i expect a reply from you like this. With that fake wide eyed innocent look we all recognise. Tht old "Who Me? No you misunderstood" crap and BS!

Why don't you just come out and cast your vote honestly. Instead of all that winding slithering crap you just cloaked it in.  Pretending to be confused and unsure.

Quote
I put a question mark there because I'm not trying to mandate anything but to really have yourself ask the question of whether you should be here. Are you helping or hurting?


Is that it? Black and white rules and thinking. People only help or hurt here! And there is no in between. Can people decide to do neither here? Will you allow them to stay? How about those who just lurk and read and learn and not want contribute at all? By your selfish narrow-minded  standard they shouldn't be here either. Is that the next thing to be forbidden too, because it's not helping, so dudh!!! it must be hurting. BS!What if people read and just want ask questions sometimes and don't even bother thanking or replying. Should they go too!

Signed
Popcorn Anyone
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 08:13:49 PM
For god's sake CG and personalities {duh! who else would get so defensive and ugly over it}  shut the <bleep> up!!!

Skip on over to the BPD board--or have you met too many of your matches there?    They let you know what it feels like to have one of you on the board I bet!    And ya can't take it long-eh?

Came here to hassle the "normal" people I guess???  

Or maybe take up residence on the "I don't get it , never did, and never will" forum--   I see great things for you in such a place ~~Member Of The Month!~~

Give it a freakin' rest!!!!!!!!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: dharma on October 27, 2004, 08:36:11 PM
Actually, I didn't mean CG. I don't read her posts. So there was a presupposition that I did by someone who is being defensive I guess.

I can't say any one person should leave as a matter of fact. That is for the person to decide. Ask yourself why you come here and decide whether it is right for you and others for you to be here. Do you contribute in a positive way? Do you come here just out of habit? Do you come to seek drama or conflict?

These are some questions I think every single person here should ask and probably many more I hadn't thought of. I think things run their course and maybe it's time for some to move on is all. That includes me when my time is up. For some, they may be here for years.

But I think it's legitimate to ask the questions. I didn't have any one person in mind and I'm sorry that I didn't clarify better.

Dharma
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 08:38:14 PM
Quote
Run for the hills, CG - before you are sucked dry by all the needs on this board. They won't let you go until they've all had a piece of you, kicked you around, picked over the bones. That's what they do to good people here.

Run, CG, run!!!!!!!


Oh...puh-leeze...  CG is eating this garbage up with a spoon.  ~slurp~
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: dharma on October 27, 2004, 08:50:57 PM
Popcorn anyone,

I just reread your post again and I didn't mean it to sound like there were just the two options. I guess I just figured people could fill in the gray areas which always exist. Nothing is ever black and white to be sure.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 09:45:26 PM
The reason I do not completely read the posts on this site, Ramble and Romper is that I am completely lost!

I cannot keep up with any of you!

That's my problem - not yours. So I just skip over the posts that get confusing. Since others respond, I assume they know what is going on... But there seems to be a lot of caps, bold, and color! That's about all I notice.

Sorry if I offend - seems to be the theme of the day. Not bashing anyone - just making an observation.

Lost Observer
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 09:46:13 PM
I got where you were coming from the first time around Dharma.You explained well. It's easy to see if you are not the person who feels the comments were directed toward them.

Only the very person who feels the comments were directed toward them would be super sensitive enough to take it personally and reply accordingly <hint-hint ;->
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 27, 2004, 11:17:32 PM
S, you are making me laugh because your style is so distinctive, you may as well sign in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 28, 2004, 05:15:27 AM
Sadly some people that frequent this forum are attention whores and I feel that this is a place for emotional support not gossip circles and pot stirring.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Portia on October 28, 2004, 06:47:06 AM
Who are all you guys? Dharma I know who you are. I might have a chat later if that’s okay with you.

It’s great when an unknown guest says something helpful (Voice of Reason thank you). It’s not so great when no-name guests spat because no-one knows who anyone is. Well I’m me, I’m here again, I haven’t gone. Any named Guest want to talk to me? I can’t address the guest posts above coz there are some really cruel words up there. Cruel because anyone could take them to be directed at them. And some of us (like me) are very good at doing that. I’m wondering if I’m an “attention-whore”. What a fantastically descriptive expression! Attention whore…Marilyn Monroe maybe?

Ah heck: “emotional support”. Please define. Not gossip? Not conflict? What is it then? What’s emotional support? Just people posting and never interacting? Please don’t bother. I’m just making a point that language is very tricky.

Hey CG how you doing?  :D I think the vote’s in your favour! You okay? P
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Solace on October 28, 2004, 07:44:00 AM
I have not posted here since I posted back to Portia yesterday.

All the accusations!!!   All the abusive stuff!!!

Is this appropriate here?

I just don't understand.

S
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 28, 2004, 09:16:28 AM
Quote
before you are sucked dry by all the needs on this board. They won't let you go until they've all had a piece of you, kicked you around, picked over the bones. That's what they do to good people here.


 
Quote
The posting above is the exact kind that runs help seekers and companion seekers away.

Ya know poster, we have all been hurt and we all lash out sometimes, but do you really have to be this mean?  


Did you really think it was 'mean'???  Who was it mean to?  It's the absolute truth from my perspective and experience of this board.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 28, 2004, 09:31:31 AM
Quote
It's easy to see if you are not the person who feels the comments were directed toward them.

Only the very person who feels the comments were directed toward them would be super sensitive enough to take it personally and reply accordingly <hint-hint ;->


If you mean you thought that CG replied anonymously immediately after Dharma's post, you're wrong.  It was me!  We ALL have buttons that get pressed by other people's words, whether or not we are personally singled out.  (Anyway dharma that poster I've just quoted clearly thought you were meaning CG!!!!!)

It just shows how you can be so SURE about something and yet so MISTAKEN because of your assumptions and presuppositions.  

Paranoia rules, doesn't it!

The guest function actually allows people who are paranoid to get even more paranoid.  It certainly seems to have screwed phoenix up, even if only briefly.  But then, even having a 'name' allows the paranoid people to get screwed up what with all that trash about CG and Portia being the same person. And thinking S is posting when she's not even online!

It's THAT kind of nonsense which is mean.  Or crazy.  Take your pick.  I tend to think they are just being plain mean.  But maybe they ARE just plain crazy.  I dunno.

See. you don't know who I am.  If I choose to use particular verbal mannerisms or particular words then you can pin me down to a particular poster or a particular country - but I could be consciously OR unconsciously copying other people just to put you off the track.

So how do you know?

You see what you create in your own mind.

So why not start creating some goodness around yourselves instead of all this paranoid shit.

It's difficult to trust.  It's EASY to be mean.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 28, 2004, 10:16:26 AM
Please, in the name of all that's healthy, please STOP all this circular bickering.  It is hurting us all, one way or another.  Please Please try to STOP the circular bickering, for the sake of the greater good.  Please?????
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Portia on October 28, 2004, 10:39:11 AM
Hiya Guests. :D  I'm weathering the storm.  8) in sunglasses ha ha

That 'Fear' thread is really good. Have you seen it? It's ACE.

And some named members are doing some brilliant stuff 'out there'. Like Ellie and OnlyMe. It makes me smile, it makes me happy to see 'good' in action. But of course I can only see the 'good' for seeing the 'bad'. If we were all perfect, we wouldn't know what perfect was would we?

Got lots of thoughts about all this stuff here but ya know, I gotta sort out doh-mess-tick stuff. Meant to talk to Dharma and BT coz you sparked some thoughts (thanks) but not for now. Must go. Take care guests, go see the Fear thread. It's simple and healthy. Not that this isn't healthy (it is), but this thread is DEEP. Deep water sign up maybe. Bring snorkel. Yeah.  8) P
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 03:13:29 PM
Quote from: Anonymous
Definition:  solace to console - to make cheerful, to allay or soothe, alleviation of grief or anxiety
 

The name you've chosen and what you're doing on this board is an oxymoron.


That is putting it mildly.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 03:34:36 PM
Quote
it's easy to be mean
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 03:42:39 PM
Wow...this place is something else.  You get flamed even if you are trying to be nice.   :lol:  

It seems not everyone is on the same page.  Perhaps some clarification is needed, on what is or is not true.  Then perhaps you peeps can lay the issue to rest.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: mighty mouse on October 29, 2004, 05:17:22 PM
Guest said:

See. you don't know who I am. If I choose to use particular verbal mannerisms or particular words then you can pin me down to a particular poster or a particular country - but I could be consciously OR unconsciously copying other people just to put you off the track.

So how do you know?

You see what you create in your own mind.

So why not start creating some goodness around yourselves instead of all this paranoid shit.

It's difficult to trust. It's EASY to be mean.


If you want to create some goodness instead of the paranoia, why are you attempting to put people off the track? Just wondering. I really would like an answer, I'm not trying to incite any indignation. If I get slammed, I won't take it personally.

MM
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 06:40:44 PM
off what track?
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 06:44:09 PM
Actually, why did you split my post in two and only refer to one half?  The whole post hangs together - they aren't separate points. Perhaps your question arises because you didn't understand the meaning of the post as a whole.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: mighty mouse on October 29, 2004, 08:16:36 PM
I asked the question because I indeed did not understand. Help me understand. And I highlighted the portion that had me stumped. If you don't care to answer, I'm okay with that. If you were being sarcastic or ironic maybe I didn't take the point correctly and maybe I should be embarassed  :oops:

Ah well.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: mighty mouse on October 29, 2004, 08:36:03 PM
Okay, I read that again. It makes more sense now.

However, I will be self deprecating and say I am not sophisticated enough to follow all this and will say bye bye to all the anonymous stuff and what Lizbeth calls word salad LOL!!!!!!!!!!

MM
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: phoenix on October 29, 2004, 09:50:05 PM
Quote
It certainly seems to have screwed phoenix up, even if only briefly.


I must be getting giddy. I am laughing at this - not because I am offended.  I can laugh at myself over this- I understand why this person might feel this way.

When I was taking out my old posts, I had an unsettling feeling at re-reading some them. I didn't recognize some of  them. It was as if I was reading someone elses posts.

Alternately, reading something annonymous in one of these threads - I have no idea which one- I was startled at how much it sounded like me.

Trying to figure out who is who is - well- a shot in the dark. Phoenix
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: jumping jehosephat on October 29, 2004, 10:13:43 PM
Jumping jehosephat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Can you NF types be any more dramatic? Please check yourself before you ooze any more of that pervasive bile.....please!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes a pile of dung is just a pile of dung. Sometimes the bogeyman just isn't there.

Spend your time singing Hippie songs and holding hands for goodness sakes........com'n......I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada, yaaaaaaaaaa..........

Now I need a coca cola, blast it.

And for goodness sake, have some humor about this post. You all recognize yourselves. Go love the stuffing off of your favorite plush toy.

Jumping (no I haven't seen Jesus) jehosephat
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 10:37:14 PM
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If you mean you thought that CG replied anonymously immediately after Dharma's post, you're wrong. It was me!


I gotta crown you your props for being more than right!  :)    But at this point its all the same in the end sunshine. It's universal anger, sensitivity, defense, button pushed hearts, chipped shoulders--

It really doesn't make much of dang difference. Same shi--er--- black jelly beans-different day--

I wish I could be more positive about it.  Ain't it truly so--- :(

Maybe a good thing is that it shows how we are all alike. We all hurt, have pre-existing inner wounds, all want to be heard, understood and treated with respect.  

We all here are really much more alike than different!!!!

I wish that thought would grow here like plenty sunned and watered weeds--or better yet, more like the hair on my brother's back! {you should see it  :shock: }
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: jumping jehosephat on October 29, 2004, 11:20:02 PM
Okay, still needs lightening up around here. Let's try again:

What did the skinny cat say to the fat cat?

Meow.....Dude, I just lost a ton of weight on the Catkins diet.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 29, 2004, 11:25:30 PM
I ain't sayin' nuthin'  :|
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 04:15:43 AM
Interesting isn't it - as soon as people start to listen to each other and try to understand each other, someone jumps in with a new name but the same old nasty name-calling to distrupt things. (I'm talking about jj)

Thanks mm for trying to understand but I was sad that when you took another look at what I said and started to understand you also chose to 'insult' the 'sophistication' of what I wrote.  You asked me what I meant - I responded iwth puzzlement - you ran off.  I feel quite sad and lonely now. And a little bit hurt.  (But not long enough for anyone else to hop in an make use of that vulnerability!!)

So mm - you chose to 'engage' and I responded.  You gave me a quick kick in the shins and ran.

 :D  That's cool but that's how I experienced our little exchange.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: mighty mouse on October 30, 2004, 11:50:18 AM
Look I was referring to the whole thread. I didn't mean anything personally to your particular post. And Indeed I am not sophisticated enough to understand all of these nuances and hidden meanings that so many on the board find. Kicking you in the shins - no. Running off....why would anyone stay here when people are finding offence when none (at least in my case) was intended. And I don't even know who you are since you are posting anonomously and I can't keep all of the anon stuff straight. Let this thread die please.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 12:05:53 PM
You quoted my post specifically so how can you say you weren't referring to it??!  I was being kind to you in my last post and freindly - and making myself vulnerable.  Look how you responded.  

I didn't think anybody had to be sophisticated to understand my thread - I was quoting your own words.  

I didn't say I found offence - I explained what it felt like to me, how I experienced what you said.

You don't need to defend yourself - I just thought you might like to come back and chat some more as I thought you had expressed a wish to understand what I wrote.

So let me now respond to you as you've just responded to me.

Bugger off yourself!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 12:19:18 PM
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I really would like an answer, I'm not trying to incite any indignation. If I get slammed, I won't take it personally.


Quote
I asked the question because I indeed did not understand. Help me understand.


I guess you're just a manipulative lying shitbag then.  Pull em in then smack em down.  Ah yes - the narcissist strikes!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 12:26:04 PM
Hey--maybe take a break.  Chill down a bit.  Think how to communicate more effectively??  Without attack??  Just a suggestion here.

Just another Guest
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: mighty mouse on October 30, 2004, 01:10:16 PM
Think what you like. Like I said I won't take it personally. But you are projecting stuff I hadn't even thought of. That is all on you. Why not take what I said at face value? Obviously we aren't communicating and I won't take any more abuse from you.

MM
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 01:22:19 PM
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Think what you like. Like I said I won't take it personally. But you are projecting stuff I hadn't even thought of. That is all on you. Why not take what I said at face value? Obviously we aren't communicating and I won't take any more abuse from you.


Good on ya MM. You are right all the way. It's very easy to see how much this person is projecting. It's too bad/sad because it indicates they have a very high level of inner pain going on   :(  

But bottom line-- it is so obviously their stuff and not on you whatsoever.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 02:22:25 PM
Yeah, right!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 02:26:22 PM
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manipulative lying shitbag


Explosive, hurtful names like this was something that happened where I grew up all the time.  It really hurt to be called those names and it even hurt to hear others being called those names.

Isn't there a better way to express your view?  One that will not hurt but instead express?


In kindness,
Just another Guest.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 02:34:40 PM
Why dont we just start another thread?   We can title it "Cat Fight", or maybe even "Bitch Fight".   Meeeow....  pfft.... hiss hiss...    =^^=
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 02:50:35 PM
The sheer stupidity of it is that the anger mongers here are merely just fighting within their own selves.They don't recognise it and probably haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

They could get the same release by writing in a daily journal 'cept the  perception of arguing with an actual person would be off and spoil things.They need an outside living entity to project off of.  

I tell ya, if ignorance is bliss then there's plenty of bliss in these here hills, and if that's so, I'd hate to catch wind of what torment and turmoil are supposed to be then!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 02:56:05 PM
Personally, I hate to pass wind because it is really, the real release of what's inside me! :D

Some think their's smells like flowers.
Mine don't. :shock:

Scares the hoolieboolies outa me but, when the air clears, I feel a whole lot better.

So there you have it!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 03:20:35 PM
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Personally, I hate to pass wind because it is really, the real release of what's inside me!  


If that's the case you should patent it as a lethal US defense warfare weapon. That would end the war point blank.

For what it's worth--your analogies are just as stinky.You're rotten eggs  thu & thru.
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 03:49:24 PM
Hey there.  I was trying to give you a laugh but it didn't work I guess.

Quote
If that's the case you should patent it as a lethal US defense warfare weapon. That would end the war point blank.


But!  You've given me one so thanks plus plus!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 03:51:58 PM
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If that's the case you should patent it as a lethal US defense warfare weapon. That would end the war point blank.


Think of this, I could be rich!!

Quick!  Where's the beans?
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 04:13:33 PM
My vote's for the Catkins diet - I missed that the first time around!!
Title: My Vote Is - CG Should Leave .
Post by: Anonymous on October 30, 2004, 04:15:14 PM
Quote
Hey there. I was trying to give you a laugh ...


Ok-- I get where you were coming from. There's hope for you after all!

I'm kidding  :wink:

I'm all for lightening things up--