Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: Nonameanymore on April 08, 2010, 12:28:19 PM
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I will try and be as brief. I have a website. Its about my writing. Have written memoir on being raised by NM and NGM, to be published in September. NM visits site daily, maybe 1000 times a day (have mentioned in another post, and given that I know her IP address, her stats are sky high on a 20 page site). I registered this domain last year. I used a yahoo address that I had to shut down because of NM's abusive emails. Somehow I thought I registered for two years. Recently I have translated site in Greek and have as front page an article on maternal narcissism. NM is probably doing voodoo for the site to go down. I don't mention her name, nor mine. I just want to raise awareness in Greece. As it happened, the registration for the domain expired 1st April. I am sure I got lots of reminders but given that I shut down the email address (together with many others in the last few years) because NM could not be blocked - she manages to send me stupidities through facebook etc., none came through. The site shut down on Tuesday. I have no email for 3 days now (this is my professional email). I had to reregister the domain, and have given them my nameservers (the 'address' of the hosting company so my site runs). They told me 12-48 hours. 48 hours lapsed today. A 'mistake' happened and they need another 12-48 hours to be up and running. I am really pissed off right now. NC for 15 years, this woman can still interfere with my life. HOW CAN THIS BE??????
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((((((((((((((((Persephone)))))))))))))))
I don't know what to say but if there is a will, the N will find a way!! I think they operate in a different dimension alltogether. Seriously. Your NM is like a stalker, no? She is going to find out anything she can and obviously, she has succeeded in doing so. I don't know how she did this because I'm not privy to all the techno with IP's and logging in to web-sites, etc. But she certainly has rattled your cage. I'm sorry this happened to you. I guess you have to wait the extra time for them to reapair it but maybe there is a way to have better protection from her, no? How does she find you out?
Geez, I just have no solution to your problem. However, congratulations on your book. That's the important thing here. How amazing for you!! Can you share the book here? I'd love to read it sometime.
I think you should keep going with your website idea and ignore your NM if she finds out about it. I know that's difficult but you seem to be on a good mission to spread the word to Greece and that's beautiful. Don't let her steal that from you!!
All the best luck to you P!
Bear
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Oh bear, don't get me started. A 58 year old woman that she is, I blocked her ip address, then she found a russian website to get a fake ip to sneak through. Last summer when I returned to Greece, she googled my email address, found my job search ads and started texting me and sending me emails. It all of course started with a STUPID woman I collaborated with on a play that in spite of having asked her a million times not to write my full surname - I use a pen name anyway because I have a long Greek surname that is difficult to pronounce abroad - she did go ahead and put it on her site, then when NM googled my surname, her site came up and she contacted her. She told this designer that she is dying and she is desperately looking to get in touch with me. When I got the email from the designer, I should have told her 'probably it's a coincidence, a simple case of sharing a name', but I got so upset, I emailed her from a yahoo (this darn yahoo that is all about now) and she took it from there. Needless to say that she did go and find the designer somewhere in Scotland - the designer told me that meeting and talking with NM was the most horrifying experience of her entire life. I feel really silly that at 40 minus 22 days, I still fall into her trap. I don't know if other NMs are real Macchiavelis, but mine is. Anyway, there's more to it - I have shared that she actually practices witchcraft and stuff - but I respect people's beliefs here and don't want to mention more. It's not so much about believing in the existence of witchcraft but the fact that she believes it is her right to use every means possible to harm other people - because this is why she does it and I know, she is into this stuff since I was 5.
It has been tough going through everything with the book - I even talked to a priest if it's morally correct to publish such a book. Anyway, I did sent it a couple of years back to a couple of people in another forum, but interestingly enough, none got back to me with any comments. The version I am working on now is in Greek - have translated the whole thing - but as soon as I will get back to editing the English version, I will ask if anyone on this board would like to read it.
Thanks so much for your kind words bear!
Pxxx
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Good gawd P!
No words can describe....my jaw is on the floor!
((((hugs to you))))))
Bear
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Thanks bear, hugs right back at ya!
P xx
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My site is up and running! Hooorrraaaayyyyyy!!! :D :D :D
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That is good news Persephone!
I would feel scared if a were in your shoes with such a stalking NM. But please don't let it get to you too much, she is not worth it.
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So glad you have your site back :)
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Thanks you guys! I was a bit quick to celebrate - oddly enough, there is a glitch and from some browsers it still shows that publicity stupidity, which means that I can't access my webmail, or people can't see the actual site... Anyway, maybe it will be sorted soon... :( :(
Lucky yes, she is a stalker of the worst kind, very unsettling feeling I am familiar with for so many years. Even when I lived with her, I had the feeling that she knew everything about me and the scary thing is that she would see a thing, then take it up a notch. For instance she says that she is sure that I had my room door closed because I masturbated inside (which never happened). :? :shock: :? :shock:
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(((((P)))))) x o x Ami
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Lucky yes, she is a stalker of the worst kind, very unsettling feeling I am familiar with for so many years. Even when I lived with her, I had the feeling that she knew everything about me and the scary thing is that she would see a thing, then take it up a notch. For instance she says that she is sure that I had my room door closed because I masturbated inside (which never happened). :? :shock: :? :shock:
Yikes, that is really weird!
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Indeed!
I don't mean to say that I am 'special' you guys in an N kind of way, or that NM is the worst in the world, but I am telling ya, the woman is a real freak!
I am going to write this here because I don't want to open a new thread, but those of you who are practising a full and complete NC, how do you feel towards them?
Because to me this woman is a total stranger, I really and honestly don't care about her, I mean, AT ALL.
Any thoughts?
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I also have no feelings at all for my NM anymore. I feel immune to her, which is good. If my dad were to pass away, I am not sure I would ever deal with her again.
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I hear you gratitude. I am glad I am not the thick-skinned person she makes feel that I am...
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So sorry P, I have felt stalked by my mom before. I'm NC and don't have feelings of any closness anymore. The only thing that irked my soul about NC is all the bad tapes that say that NC is the wrong thing to do. My mom said NC is "unhealthy", and she knows I'm into leading a healthy life. She really thinks she knows what is best for me still. I'm wired to doubt myself, so ughhhh.
NC is clearly not a solution to any pain I have. NC definately stops any further assault, at least I think..... Somehow I know I'm doomed till the day she dies though. I'm sure there is a master plan..... She has boiled up plans in the past for years while on okay behavior, then slammmm!! Hopefully I'll know how separate I am from her and how I have nothing to do with causing her rage against me.
I'm not sure if this works for you..... You've prob thought of everything, but here I go anyways;). Is there any way you can respond directly to what she is posting. Educating the people who read your site about what exactly is happening. Silence feeds N's and speaking up kills sometimes.
Ughhhhh I really feel for you, and can picture this without a strain in my thought. Try raising your hand and saying the absolute truth. I did that with my mom 16 months ago, and she hasn't even tried to call me. She knows the truth, and can't face me anymore because I'm all about truth now. I threw the pie of truth at her last string of tricks REALLY hard. It works best with an audience, N's hate that:))))
I hope I didn't go on and on too much, and sharing my situation helps.
I hope you get some peace soon. She is really harassing you, wonder if there is a Internet trail you can use for a restraining order. Just a thought.
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Oh Swimmer, you can't imagine the things she tells people about me and the comments she posted on my myspace a year ago. I shared before that I used a passage from an article on NMs to show their lack of boundaries and mentioned that she liked to go around naked and forced me to be around her. So she posted that when I left in 95 she found in my room a black pair of panties with a whole at the 'back' with a dildo that proves that I like to do dirty and dark things, that it was her who insisted on taking me to the dermatologist and that I didn't go and now I have acne scars in my face just like my father who has evil dna and I am ugly as f**k, that if it wasn't for her to take me to the optician's and buy me glasses I would be cross-eyed like my aunt (my father's sister) etc. What can you counter-comment on that, and what would have happened if I didn't see this comment promptly and left it there, on the page that I used to have samples of my writing as reference, havng had the myspace link on my CV? What if a potential employer read it? She releases so much poison and I don't know how much and where it's spilled all these years I am NC. Yes, your NM says NC is not healthy, mine writes in emails that she has repeatedly tried to wise me up and understand that the only thing there is for me to do is to go crawling back at her and ask for her forgiveness for being such a rotten child.
I think her biggest problem is, the one that makes her really angry, is that she thought that with whatever she did, all this abuse, I would never find the gut to leave and go NC. She just can't handle it.
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Yikes.
Lord save us all from "social" media.
Hops
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Hi P, I really can see what you are saying!!! And I hope I don't sound "flippant" in offering suggestions. I know how similar our stories are, but there are some real doozy stories we all have that are just "out there".
I have difficulty writing/articulating about N's most of the time, so I hope I can get this out.... What I mean about silencing with the truth is actually writing on your blog or website, quoting your mother's comments written on your blog & what nussance she is & no matter where she goes she turns life into dust. I could very well not understand enough what is really happening to appropriately and fairly give advice though. I often misunderstand things, so take what I say with a grain of salt of it doesn't apply to you.
In any event, it's hard to not have complete solutions to deal with NM's. You are very brave P for speaking out, and the truth prevails somehow in the end. Whatever you do, keep talking.... Because everything you've said here IS believable, contrary to the mainstream belief system about mothers ..... Some are actually worse than we remember, yes someone Can be this cruel..... Especially a mother.
(((((((P))))))
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Oh yeah, that thing about the black panties dildo post, an example of what I mean is posting something after saying....." See what I mean, this is my mother posting, a great example of overstepping boundaries. Now I need to post an article about delusions and compulsive lying."
I might be way off base though.... I know how it feels to be misunderstood. I realize you might have just wanted to vent
best wishes P, hope you are well:))
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Thanks Swimmer.
I guess I will have to wait till the memoir is out sometime in the winter.
You know what bothers me? And I think this is what bothered me all my life.
With an NM you cannot have a 'normal' life. People don't want to have to deal with people who have lives like ours. They are way too complicated, full of intrigues etc.
I remember the first time I left home at 19 (and returned after a year, then left at 25) my friend's husband who said 'P you better go back because you will soon be in the newspapers'. So messy.
I have had friends offering me shelter in their houses, one in particular that was really nice to me at 19, then NM started going to the bar she was waiting tables and making big scenes. Eventually the girl told that she couldn't handle her anymore.
She told another friend that if she wouldn't tell her where I was, she was going to make a scene at her husband's workplace and say that my friend was cheating on him. I have so many of these examples. Get a life, you know?
Today I am freaking out because I am thinking she may be hacking my email (she has money, she can pay people to do that for her) and I am terrified - I cannot think any other way that she finds out what I am doing after 15 years of NC, especially since she made sure that I talk to practically none of my old friends - she has managed to poison many relationships. It's a 'mother's' word against mine. Oh well...