Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: les on October 29, 2004, 01:57:41 PM
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Hi to all newcomers:
This is a great board. There are some very wise, wonderful and gentle people here. At the moment there is some sort of spat going on between some members in 4 or 5 different posts. I think the posts themselves were each an honest attempt to resolve a problem but it seems that the problem has continued to grow in the new posts. (could be wrong about that, maybe they are all getting somewhere)
Just want to say that if you stumble into one of these posts - posts that seem confusing and troubling, don't feel that there is no place for you here. I can't explain what's going on, I don't really know but I do know that this board has helped me and many many others. I hope you find your way.
Les
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Hi Les:
I like your post and the truth in it. Welcome newcomers.
S
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Just keeping it up top!
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Les,
Thanks for the reminder.
Your post reminded me of that book "The Four Agreements". I'd like to copy the inside cover because it is so succint and so meaningful.
THE FOUR AGREEMENTS
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself and to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
3. DON'T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self abuse and regret.
As written by Don Miguel Ruiz
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Thanks for re-posting the Four Agreements, mighty mouse! :D I've always loved how simple yet inspiring those words are!
WF
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Great post, Les :D
BT
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All told, I am very glad I found this forum. I don't post much but I like to browse. It does get a little bit weird from time to time, but there are people here who have been there, done that as far as the N thing goes. And you can feel like you're going crazy if other people don't know what N is...hard to explain to the uninitiated.
renee
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Say only what you mean.
This is the part I have to focus on in number 1.
Number 2 and 3 are challenging, but not all the time.
Number 4 is the best advice anyone could ever give anybody.
Thanks MM. Really helpful post.
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Thank you, Les, for this thread.
Thought I'd put it back up on the top, as did Guest earlier!
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I beleive all this acrimony will peter out soon. We will all have Holiday crap to deal with and will need the support here.
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You know what? I consider myself a newbie (been posting for a little over a month....................) and I don't even read those long rambling posts. It is too confusing for me.
I just post to a couple that I have started or that I have read with interest and let all the bickering go by the wayside!
But considering this is a Narcissitic forum we probably have some second and third generation N's who don't realize what they are doing!! :wink:
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Yes, Kelly. I think you are right. I had some mighty Nish behaviors and I knew something was wrong with me. It took a major disruption in my life to get me to see I was the one constant in my problems. I had to humble myself and make some big changes. But I don't think I was as far gone as the NPDers or I probably wouldn't have thought something was even wrong with me in the first place. This awareness came at about the age of 30 or 31.
I do see some on the board that I recognize as myself some 15 years ago. Inevitably, there probably are some Ns here. But most don't seem to be thank goodness. This board is still a great place and you are wise to not look at the disruptive threads. Now maybe I can discipline myself to not read them. Sometimes I don't go there and sometimes I still do and should know better. Some people say they learn from the negative stuff but I don't think I ever have....I had too much fighting and stuff growing up and I have a personality that prefers calm.
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Hello:
Hi Guest: "I have a personality that prefers calm."
Me too. All the fighting seemed to instill a desire for just peaceful, quiet calm in me. I worked with the deaf for a few years and I really developed a great appreication for silence. Not the silence of voices (because the deaf can speak as clearly and as loudly as the rest of the world) but a love for the peacefulness of quiet communication. I learned so much from that experience.
Your words reminded me of this. Thanks.
S
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bump
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I beleive all this acrimony will peter out soon. We will all have Holiday crap to deal with and will need the support here.
:!: thank you
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Indeed.
S
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bump :!:
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bump :)