Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival => Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board => Topic started by: CB123 on June 27, 2011, 02:32:33 PM

Title: I love this
Post by: CB123 on June 27, 2011, 02:32:33 PM

I love this so much.  I just want to eat great, big, gloppy spoonfuls of this article.  I want to lick the bowl and dig around in the refrigerator for more.  This feeds my soul.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-intimately/201106/love-me-is-judge-me

Love
CB

Title: Re: I love this
Post by: Ales2 on June 27, 2011, 03:12:34 PM

this is great. thanks for posting it!

wish he would elaborate on when those judgements are incorrect or off target based on the irrational mind seeing an action or behavior that triggers us to respond in fight or flight mode not from this particular action, but in response to a previous similar action in a previous relationship.  its sort of like when a boyfriend makes a racist remark at a party and then i go into defense from the last boyfriend who made a racist remark in my last relationship. one was truly a racist, the other just joking, but thats not always how we/i respond.  or, we are so hurt by a previous action, that hurt comes up and we cant be/think rationally about that action when it comes again.

and, it would be helpful to make a comment about judgements that tell us the relationship is wrong for us... when again, it might a fight/flight response from long ago, not relevant to the present. Then it becomes our own self fulfilling prophecy, because we respond as we did previously, getting us the same results, hence the definition of "insanity".

Title: Re: I love this
Post by: Hopalong on June 28, 2011, 07:05:23 AM

I love the compassion about being judgmental, since it is SO hard not to be!

thank you, CB.

xxoo
Hops