Recent Posts

11

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 17, 2026, 02:31:08 AM »

Sleepy

Woke up 2 AM neighbor making some odd racket and someone else reacting to their racket adding to.

Woke up 5 AM went to staffing office. Was necessary. Also was comedy of errors.

Took nap and it lasted too long but oh well.

Went to silly art thing.

Accidentally found some live free music which was surprisingly VERY good actually it was almost great for a free deal.

At the live music deal there was old mother and grown daughter dancing and it was very sweet and it's joy that people really can't fake because fakers don't bother dancing. AND it's seeing stuff like this that makes me realize A) there are a lot of joyful people in the world and B) I've not been around joyful people and C) I'm not sure that I am one of them but still I en-JOY-ed the music by myself.

Seems my friend bailed on me again this weekend maybe she will get bored of being infirm and want to go hiking.

Or maybe she doesn't feel like going far. I could in theory try to go closer to her - what would we do idk - must research now.

Other people canceled their event for this weekend also which is a relief because I canceled to go hiking.

I don't think I have any plans tomorrow which is great because I have a dire and awful amount of adulting to do. All of which would be easier if I had a big fat credit card but I let my finances get terrible ... or maybe just too much happened at once. And I am not going to complain.

I need to brush my teeth and just go to sleep. It was a long day.

12

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on July 16, 2026, 07:43:13 AM »

they are frozen in a lifelong cycle of empty, resentful passivity.

YES. Spot on.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 09:24:27 PM »

The interview I have is only a staffing agency. Worked via this company in the past it worked out okay.

But now that I see the text msg the woman sent me it was vague and I am realizing it was not for an in person interview. And she had said she was going to be gone for surgery but would be back in...

I am going in person anyways because I was planning on going.

Going in hopes they just scan my freaking id documents so they are logged. The rest is just fluff. They may not be prepared to deal with me. But she had me already wait 30 minutes late for the first phone interview now I am looking and the text was vague and I am thinking it's because she had been dealing with a mad client and she is preoccupied with her surgery. If anybody else in the office has the ability to onboard me that would be good. I have worked with them before why am I saying this like I have to convince someone.

I will have to take a long bus and then walk 30 minutes I think to get there.

Maybe I am over stressing. I am. But details of logistics kind of important.

I really feel like things went smoother just 5-10 years ago. I think she wants the commission so didn't hand me off to someone else.

I will bring a book. 😈😈😈

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 04:57:27 PM »

they are frozen in a lifelong cycle of empty, resentful passivity.

they are frozen in a lifelong cycle of empty, resentful passivity.

they are frozen in a lifelong cycle of empty, resentful passivity.

Stuck on cycle.

It's lifelong and one can not pretend it is anything but that dead end over and over.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 04:55:07 PM »

"Oftentimes, people in relationships with narcissists become other-referenced, where they end up making all decisions based on how they perceive the narcissist will react." 

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 04:42:25 PM »

Well congrats on the refreshed home Hops.

Those ladies sound like they did a fantastic service. And the plants got cared for.

good stuff

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 04:40:08 PM »

"You cannot cooperate with someone who is playing an entirely different, highly toxic game."

"For an emotionally immature narcissist, a solution is actually a threat because it would resolve the drama they desperately rely on to feel seen, victimized, or in control."

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Hopalong on July 15, 2026, 01:35:57 PM »

I did! I finally caved and hired help: a small team of kind Mexican woman who literally brought the house back to life. The joy and relief I felt when I walked in....indescribable. Now, maintenance is the key. Done it before and can do it again.

Watered plants this morning and am soon off to PT, which I hate, but which makes me MOVE. I do feel better from it.

Loved what you said about not minding being socially different and that you just "like noticing the noticing." That's fantastic.

Hope you get the job and that transportation isn't too awful to deal with. That is one thing I did like about most cities I've lived in.

Let me know if you become a papier mache sculptor! I hope you play with it.

hugs
Hops

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 01:06:05 AM »

It's very funny about the paste Hops. There do seem to be online recipes without flour these days.

You can talk about dating that is fine.

Personally I feel I am against online stuff. Sounds like it has sort of worked for you a little bit. Voicelessness is the only social online thing I do anymore. I've tried to make a pact with myself to only meet people in person to avoid the safety wall of the screen.

I don't think I can make an honest self-profile online.

Hops did you do The Great Cleanup of 2026?

I kept one bust (he was a wild-looking gondolier, I think) until I saw a roach come out of his mouth. Don't make bug-friendly paste! I did, out of wheat flour out of ignorance. But I sure enjoyed him while I had him and so did everyone who saw it.

I mean, maybe an experimental artist somewhere makes marzipan poodles, dunno.
I'd love to do papier mache again. Supplies are nearly free and it's FUN. A good paste can be permanent, too. There are surely modern recipes online? Or cheap glue bugs hate? I gave most of the busts to people, which was fun too.

Creepy story about the daughter speaking for the mother, but I wonder if there was something medical involved? My idea for fresh friendships is less scrutiny and more making appointments to do something and see how it goes. That's how I managed online dating, anyway. Said sincerely in my profile that to me, the pleasure is in meeting a new person and hearing about their life, but I believed that if it's just a one-time try without the Big Click, I still enjoyed a nice cuppa coffee with a new person with a story to tell. I did enjoy meeting all those strangers, even when I'd usually conclude I would decline another date. (When that happened I'd write back gently and just say "I enjoyed meeting you, but realized that for me, there wouldn't be a romantic connection. But thanks for the time you spent with me, and the coffee." Then I'd right away block them, not from hostility but because I'd been clear up front about STOPPING being a fine, no-judgement choice for them or for me. I learned to never let a conversation drag on afterward online, once I'd made that choice.) I observed it helped both people relax, too. It's just as scary for them as for me. (Dunno why I'm droning on about men when that's not your topic, sorry.)

It IS hard to connect when you don't feel comfortable about it. I guess I think the best way is to endure the discomfort for the better goal of overall connection with more humans. I think if you keep it up, it'll pay off. I'm rooting for you, Meh.

hugs,
Hops

PS Amber, thanks for asking. I mostly go immobile in extreme heat, but since I spend too much time immobile anyway, it's not a huge change. As long as I know "this too shall pass" and the power doesn't go out (mercifully it hasn't) so I can sleep at some point with AC, I do fine. On the 4th it was 103 and I still went out to meet BirdNerd and his sister and BIL, which went very pleasantly. Nice people!

While I'm at it, I admit I'm catching feelings for him, and it seems reciprocal. Lots of scary passages ahead, intimacy maybe and having him here after the Great Cleanup. But so far he's been kind, thoughtful, communicative and more. Whew!!!

PPS - A big WOOT WOOT about the deck! Kudos. And I too have wondered if Lighter's okay. She better turn up and catch up, so we'll know. Yoo hoo, Lighter! Hope you haven't melted or been kidnapped by pirates, hon.

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again

« Last post by Dirty Hippy on July 15, 2026, 12:53:25 AM »

I will say I am a little worried about the interview. It's just a staffing company and I worked for them before and the job they sent me on it turned out well I was hired permanently and stayed five years until I was laid off. But that was in a different region. I am worried about my location. I worry. I worry. I worry. I worry because that is what I do.

So anyways what is new.

I am just doing the game of connect the dots in my head to get through everything dot A to B to C to D and do it.

See, my soul keeps saying do NOT go deeper into the city NO NO NO NO. I want to live in the countryside and yet I have no money and no car right now so this is making very little sense.

The interview is this Thursday. It's not a big deal. I need to get back to work. It is and it isn't a big deal. Anyhow. I'm old. I go in and I talk to them and they look at me make sure I am sane.