With over 100,000 posts and 2 million pageviews, the Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board has become a valuable resource for people learning about and dealing with narcissistic spouses/partners, boyfriends/girlfriends, parents, siblings, adult children, bosses, and co-workers--as well as other sources of "voicelessness."
Recent Posts
When I think about these awful feelings (rage, resentment, loathing) about men lately, and then as you remind me, set them in the context of today's politics, they make perfect sense.
But it's not just men, is it, Hops? It's more common. More threatening. More obvious and in our faces, but the "political climate" has the same group of bad actors, enablers, DIM thinkers and advocates every group of....every group of misguided people, being lead by a.....naughty strongman, has. I gave up deciding which group, within the faction, is more maddening.
I'm afraid of the unleashed beast. And continue to love many good men, who don't spend all day searching for validation of their own anger and distress.
I continue to love many good men, also. Imperfect, but good men. As for the " unleashed beast" aspect. Are you speaking of your own appropriate anger response?
I keep thinking back to the primary lesson from the Hoffman research, in which they tracked couples for decades, interviewing and videoing their interactions over time. The finding that settles me most back to my own values when my toxic resentment stirs is that the Number One predictor of divorce is contempt. Things said, facial expressions, eye rolls, etc. Once contempt appears and sticks, we're divorcing. Take a cult, a golden calf, and poor education or low-quality information from isolated, bad-faith people either broadcasting or online who pot stir and add contempt...America is divorcing itself. Heartbreaking. But maybe we can turn aside in time...we have 400 days to steer sane.
Ih, I think about it too. Particularly when men look at me/speak to me/sneer at me with disdain. I wonder about it in a spiraling loop of frustration, so far, without resolution.
Lighter, I watched a remarkable interview with Tia Levings and thought you would enjoy it. Tia is remarkably intelligent, understands deconstruction profoundly, and connects it all up in a way I found both exhilarating and comfortingly realistic. I particularly thought you'd like what she says about intuition and healing from trauma. A lot of it is Lighteresque.
Really enjoyed it. Thanks, Hops.
Another I rambled onto is Monte Mader who you (and maybe Amber) really might like--who grew up running cattle on a 4000 acre Wyoming ranch and built a truly powerful, healthy sense of herself in the world.
Will look that up: )
The upside of the internet for me is these positive discoveries, and conversations like the ones we have on this board.
This board's been a powerful touchstone in my life too. Thanks again, Doc G.
hugs
Hops
PS - Neither of these women TODAY is angry or fearful or anxious.
