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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Nothing much really
« Last post by Meh on August 14, 2025, 12:03:43 AM »Got through the court hearing. I went to work for two hours. Left & went to do hearing way early because I was nervous and I was trying to figure out until the last moment how to handle everything was considering asking for continuance because I wasn't able to contact/obtain legal counsel. Then I ended up waiting for probably two hours. I attempted to defend myself by directly addressing what she was saying.
I think the judge ruled in my favor as the judge was lecturing my mother but I feel a bit dazed and under the weather now. And the ruling the judge gave actually didn't sound clear to me at all because legal jargon and mumbling.
Even if I won my case I lost. I lost a few hours of badly needed pay at work and I think I had anxiety overload today.
My mother is so nuts she is doing this to torment.
I was so unprepared but I remembered not to ramble and I stopped myself a couple times and I think the judge could see I was trying not to waste time and ramble etc. I don't think I sounded unhinged but sometimes I talk louder because I feel I have to amplify my voice I hope it didn't seem like I was shouting.
And frankly I only had one main phrase maybe it was nonsensical. But I said something like "I want to make this clear I have never threatened her and I do not have a history of violence." I NEVER TALK LIKE THAT. "I want to make this clear" is not a phrase I ever normally use. I sort of hate that phrase because it comes from political speech even. But it's simple and I had to make one main point 1) I have not threatened anybody 2) I have no history of violence and anybody insinuating that without evidence is just being awful. Meh.
Then my mother tried to say I destroyed property but it was vague and non-specific. I told the judge I didn't know what she was referring to and it ended up being some nonsense from over a decade ago and the judge cut her off.
At one point my relatives more or less admitted they were doing the court thing to torment me and to teach me a lesson.
They just wasted my f'ing time. And I don't feel good and I tried to do this in-between working. I told my boss days ago I had an upcoming court thing and I wasn't sure how the day was going to go. She kept on saying it was find because she has coverage. I ended up leaving work at 10:30 because my nerves were getting to me and I was worried about technology etc. AND I wanted to transition from work-mind to court-mind.
I didn't make a lot of character accusations but I did mention "she is an alcoholic and she has mood swings" that was the most abbreviated way of me being able to say something ain't right here judge and I am dealing with a lot of shit.
I washed my face.
I am making sleepy time tea.
The place I am staying in is like grungy strip mall area.
Now all I have to do is set my phone alarm. Brush teeth, drink tea, drink water and sleep. And hope that water can flush out whatever bad feelings my gut. I woke up at 4:30 am today and kinda sorta went back to sleep. This day just feels like it was an insane effort for nothing but I guess I think I kept my record clean of everything and anything at least for today.
I'm tired am I repeating myself I don't know. uplug the teapot take pants of go horizontal shut eyes just give up on this day... tomorrow will bring new problems that have to be delt with...
too tired to function
tomorrow I might try to get to work early... yeah I think that's a good idea...
I testified under oath that my mother is an alcoholic with mood swings that is the worst I said about her. It's true and that's what she gets for doing this to me. Her crap and flaws on record. There.