Recent Posts

91

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by lighter on November 12, 2025, 11:39:06 AM »

Amber, reading your list of projects brings me comfort, and calm.....it feels like you're creating sacred spaces. Transformation.....of most kinds.....tickles my attention deficit brain.

Right now, I'm pausing.....looking around....noticing what's really here.  What will matter in 5, 10....15 years.  25 years.  Checking myself.... my priorities.....taking the temperature of my girls....the bf....making list, or.....poising to make lists.....the bf and youngest DD are asking for a list.

It feels like I'm leaning over a cliff's edge.....
but balanced. 
Not teetering, or endangered, or whipped and blinded by the wind....
but leaning into it....
over....above, what's below...with multiple possibilities.
A leap? 
Flight? 
Swan dive?
I don't know, but there's choice and choices....
 restored.
HUGE.

Maybe everything.
Small.
Large.
Expansive.
I get to choose, this time.

Lighter

92

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 12, 2025, 08:21:44 AM »

I've got one project to work on over the winter - my downstairs entry. Repurposing, painting a storage bench I already have, have a board of hooks and two shelves to put up. Beadboard to lighten the space as opposed to the horizontal heavy pine everywhere in the house. Shoe racks.

Hol & I will tackle that, so B doesn't feel under pressure to make it "just so".

93

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 12, 2025, 08:14:03 AM »

No, no noticeable difference in color perception. My gains have all been in clarity, resolution at distance.

2nd eye isn't happening Thursday. Doc's office called, said he was reviewing my "measurements" and thinks I have dry eyes... to try to more aggressively use the artificial tears and go in tomorrow for a recheck on those measurements. Well, OK. But the artificial tears just made my eyes crust up, itch, and felt sticky. So, I'm trying another brand w/o the propylene glycol in 'em.

My eyes water copiously at night, in the evening. I don't know what standard he's using but I'm questioning this "dryness" definition. Every yawn, sometimes just a cough, or a sneeze will do it.

We'll see what's what tomorrow. Meanwhile, I drove into our local town yesterday - just fine. I notice a little irritation from I presume is the incision; I take it, it's healing. The followup appt is Dec 1, and if it's still bugging me any, I'll let him know.

94

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again

« Last post by lighter on November 11, 2025, 12:13:45 PM »

Contractor very sick....he fixed a small sink leak yesterday, then left.  He might be here tomorrow.....will see.

Unlikely, as the skirting around back deck is on the list.... it's snowy blowy winter cold here.  Blew in yesterday.... unbelievable.

I'm finishing ceiling paint, both bathrooms, and cutting in upstairs bathroom wall paint....door paint.  I can pull up floor protection paper, after contractor puts in last vanity drawer.  We've been taking deep baths in the new soaking tub.  Will figure out shower curtain next.

We found an amazing double sconce mirror, for over the upstairs bath toilet.  SO heavy, but throws soft warm light....is wonderful with the wood vanity and window trim.....carved.  Lovely. Perfect size and shape....oval.  Adds curves.

We're feeling snowed in, but DD's bf went to work very early. Schools and trash service closed down.  I'm planning pork and lamb chops, blackened broccoli, salad with blue cheese and apple cider vinegar,sending will th homemade apple pie.

My sister left yesterday, just before it was too late to get out.  She's already missed.

Lighter

95

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by lighter on November 11, 2025, 11:57:53 AM »

What a great outcome, for you, Amber!  So glad to read your update.

I'm wondering.....do you have blue back?  That's what I really noticed....I saw blue again.

96

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 10, 2025, 09:29:24 AM »

Hops, this is really a "miracle of modern science", IMO. I'm not even a week past the surgery, and I can't describe how much more I'm seeing. And that's kind of opened all the rest of my senses again too. I know I rely mostly on vision, but I didn't know it was impacting other senses. Now it's the eye behind the glasses that doesn't seem "right". Things seem magified; almost a fisheye lens affect in the eye that gets done this week.

I've not ever paid attention to any vanity anti-aging stuff. But given it's been 2 years since I was told I had cataracts, and the glasses I got then, didn't help much I really wish I'd been convinced to do this sooner. Educated in how simple the surgery is. I wouldn't even call it an "inconvenience", even tho I'm tired of the schedule for eyedrops already. The whole surgery takes about 10-15 mins; and the whole appt is about as long as a good massage.

I've adjusted to the uncertainty of moving a good bit now (day 5) and I'm thinking that will go away as soon as the other eye is done and it starts healing up. Honestly, the degradation in my sight was contributing to some unsteadiness for me, that I thought was more related to strength and loss of balance... but I guess I was dependent on my sight for the finer points of balance, too. Every move I make is more direct now; less "remote control", if you can figure out what I mean.

I am in a good spot to exercise that eye, now that the leaves are mostly down. All those bare trees, with big limbs, smaller branches, and tiny twigs are becoming clearer, even over 100 yds. The middle distance - where I move - is waaaay clearer. And even the close up is less blurry than it used to be.

The downside is, I'm seeing everything I've missed previously, housecleaning. LOLOLOL.

I figure I might be driving by Thanksgiving again. I'm ALLOWED to drive now, but I want to wait till I have two good eyes and better sunglasses. I have been driving the ATV; we have enough road on the property and I never drive it fast anyway.

97

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island

« Last post by lighter on November 10, 2025, 08:34:21 AM »

Thinking of going to the island for Thanksgiving.  Could stay through mid February.....longer if I have "caretaker" move out to renovate guest cottage.....thinking headboard bathroom walls and paint entire interior.

We're all sick, so I'm not feeling strong about it.

Lighter

98

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Thought slams: sudden insights that surprise

« Last post by lighter on November 10, 2025, 08:28:36 AM »

Revisiting your thread, Hops.....
judgement, of all kinds, is not often helpful, IME.

When, my dear Bill. was alive and well, he said his T taught him to assume everyone was doing their best.  That brought him some peace....over his drunken father and years with a warring/suicide threatening PD wife..... generally, in all things.  It was a relief to stop wondering why, also. 

Lighter

99

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard

« Last post by lighter on November 10, 2025, 08:22:36 AM »

The leaves are falling....like an invasion of moving, live things.....wind blowing them, as though they have minds, and targets, of their own.

It snowed this morning....just enough to dust the cars and porch.  It's so cold, a wet windy cold.... I'm glad I winterized the outdoor shower and hoses yesterday.

The lake is ok, I hope.  At least the well pump is protected.

Lighter

100

Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025

« Last post by sKePTiKal on November 08, 2025, 11:15:52 AM »

Sigh. The board is loading faster now. But now reply is sticking for me.