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91
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world
« Last post by Hopalong on January 14, 2026, 01:43:47 PM »
Pretty calm, no screaming, Lighter.
But calm doesn't really mean I've accepted it all.

Working on facing reality, which ultimately is more important to me than comfort.

I realize that since childhood, I've always felt America was a family and every person who cares about it is a relative. My dad worked in intelligence during WWII in England, and was at the Pentagon every summer. When I was little I was absolutely obsessed with scotch tape. When he came home on weekends he'd bring me a little brown bag from the commissary with about six rolls of it, and I remember feeling like the luckiest five-year-old in the world. I remember holding his hand and walking through the endless huge halls of the Pentagon, full of awe because of all the men in uniforms striding past us. Hundreds.

A romanticized child's view, of course. Life teaches you other things about what you love.
But I love our country still and my heart is hurting for her. I wore my Dad's old Pendleton shirt when it was cold the other day, and it always brings me into the gentle circle of his arms. And such amazingly warm strong wool. It'll last forever if my D keeps it one day.

So, not screaming. Just remembering my Dad and being glad he doesn't have to watch this now.

hugs,
Hops
92
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House
« Last post by Hopalong on January 13, 2026, 02:40:57 PM »
Just WOW!

I'm starting to get a dim image of a mammoth house, and all these options. Exciting for you, Lighter. And for your parades of guests, too. Hope it's wonderful in all directions when you launch it. Will send vibes.

I hope you don't become too exhausted preparing every reservation down to the microbes. Then again, it all sounds elegant, comfortable and even inspiring...with a lake.

Joy to you in it. Is the lake house going to become your permanent home, do you think?

hugs
Hops
93
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House
« Last post by lighter on January 13, 2026, 01:09:06 PM »
Biggie just called....asking for arch photos and list of tools at lake.  He'll bring the sawmill, if he comes, and accept helpers for digging and lifting.  At first, he was defensive...."what do we need them for?!"

Once I said tractor and post hole digger gone, his torn rotator cuff saw the reason.

I'll be looking at a mini open-ended chapel-like structure, utilizing leftover bark siding for face of the thing.....maybe with little chapel top.....?

Onward.....the journey continues.

Lighter

94
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by lighter on January 13, 2026, 01:03:31 PM »
Whoooooooboy...... that's an amazing update, Amber.  I guess the eyes, sinuses and ear tubes are all connected....even if I don't understand them.  I'm glad you do.

B has my profound respect for his continued and enduring intestinal fortitude.  So glad the mental game helping with pain.  I'm guessing distance and blocked access, from problematic people, helps too.
Lighter
95
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The Lake House
« Last post by lighter on January 13, 2026, 12:25:35 PM »
My mountain man journeyman (MMJ offered 3 days work and the lake.  That's 3 people offering to complete the wedding arch....maybe benches.

I'm leaning towards MMJ.....after calmly puzzling through stuff (PTS) this morning. 

The Puerto Rican family, down the road.....can help, but won't lead the project.

The lake handyman, still hunting and mowing the property, has been MIA for 6 plus months, when I needed him.  I suspect he's using, bc he'd call to set up mowing..... something I don't want to be involved in/have said bit to call me about, then promises to show up for things I politely ask him to do, while failing to say he didn't or won't be helping.....giving me a chance to figure something else out.  He also let all the baby clover die, in the summer heat, so that's where we were when he asked if I wanted a fallen tree removed from the driveway (he uses regularly too.)
He removed it, then asked to be paid.

I told him I was happy to have him continue hunting, but he'd stopped being responsive to my requests for help ....it seemed fair he'd keep the driveway clear, in return.  He said he was sorry for that, and would come by "soon" to discuss the work (I'd already completed with the Puerto Rican families help) and the wedding arch (I've been trying to discuss for more than 6 months.

I need to rename the Puerto Rican family..l The husband speaks no English, and can't be present around crowds.  Will have him work on repairing kitchen exhaust down draft fan. The grown special needs son seems lovely.  The mother is the leader......sells hand made empanadas to make ends meet, while caring for elderly mother in the home.  They're always home....a minute's drive from the lake house.  They want to work. The thing is. the dad, son and mum show up for every job.....I pay them all $20 each....one works. One assists.  One translates.  It's not exactly worked out how to make this work out for us all.  I trust we'll get there. I see housekeeping, laundry and event set up, tear downs in our futures. Not explicitly counting on it, however.... there's a strange vibe from the matriarch.  Still have to PTS.....see how we work together.

I'm also leaning towards living in the downstairs family room, bc it has a huge closet I can lock, for my stuff.  Will be paring down, traveling light. 

Will get business license, reboot Airbnb offering, then offer packages for events only, events with upstairs use of house only, events with use of entire home..... I'd drive 2 hours back to mountains, or to Atlanta when while house is booked.  Stay, if only upstairs is booked.

I'll consider a package including the downstairs living/kitchenette/half bath and patio package.  That space seems integral to entertainment for groups of 50+.  Upstairs has seating for 20 guests at tables and counters.

I have lots of figuring to do......drinks and appetizers upstairs, with standing tables on porch and deck?

  Bar, dinner and dessert downstairs.....flowing onto covered patio?  I have table space requirements and number of seats written out.....will be laying down paper patterns to determine max seating and placement of different size table, with and without seating.  Will ask my creative/savvy friend for assistance when she visits.

The garage can be emptied for use OR kept locked for storage.  Would need ceiling scraped, so m coated and paint. Cabinets require prep and paint.....new countertop IF used for guests.  Also, the only working dryer is sitting freestyle in garage.....stained cement floor needs attention.  I have stain for that.  Would need to figure out the sanding/buffer rental and grits. I think I'd enjoy that work....always loved walking on stained cement floors.

Removing the garage door isn't in the budget.....replacing with folding glass doors......French doors..... whatever, might not be on the menu, ever, but it crosses my mind. Garage is a good place to store tables and chairs. Repairing small sheds could be excellent storage, freeing up the garage.  The big warehouse remains mired in mud, when it rains.  Simply emptying it, and gussying it up gains me nothing if it's not accessible in the wet times, when needed most. 

Not having working dryer, inside house, remains problematic.  I have second w/d set if I can get someone to wire them for me..... downstairs optimally.....I think. Biggie could do that.

Lots to work out and ponder.....want a sink and clean counter space for flower arranging (in Maintenance room,)eventually....as well as the bar, double oven, floral area and decoration storage.
To remove the armour bedroom or not remove....that is a question for another day. 

Lighter






96
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 13, 2026, 09:01:23 AM »
Yes, it did. Once I figured out that it was my sinuses swelling/deflating/clogging etc. I upped my usual routine of combatting it non-pharmaceutically. All is well, except when the barometer does extreme swings like it's been doing lately - and then, I know how to handle it.

I did a little research online too, and yeah, the connection is known about. Screen time (excessive amounts) tires my eyes still. But I'm adjusting screen brightness a lot more and not viewing/reading in a totally dark room and that helps. Distance vision is remarkably sharp now. Middle distance clarity removed any balance issues I had been having. And I have a handful of 1.0 readers for anything close up.

B's pain issues are subsiding; changing a bit. We're taking that a day at a time, but this is the longest he's gone without needing anything extra, over & above the morphine pump. And he's staying active. And yes, it's positively impacting his mood & attitude.
97
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: facing the world
« Last post by lighter on January 12, 2026, 07:09:06 PM »
:: screaming in my head::.

::choosing not to comment::.

I hope you're cultivating calm in the storms, Hops.
98
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by lighter on January 12, 2026, 07:06:49 PM »
Did the redness go away, Amber?
99
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by sKePTiKal on January 12, 2026, 07:36:31 AM »
We had a couple warm days, but it's mostly too cold to do anything outside. Seed catalogs have come in but I haven't looked yet. We've been real lazy. My eye adjustment is finally getting "normal" - ish. There are a couple things I'll ask about.
100
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Yard
« Last post by lighter on January 11, 2026, 12:06:27 PM »
I dug up 2 Hemlocks from the forest preserve yesterday afternoon.....at dusk, in fact.  My huffing and puffing would keep bears away....whew boy!  Quite a job.....both trees 4 feet tall, with large root balls, pulled a half mile on a sled.  I think I treated both for woolie adelgid last year, but one looks like I missed it? Lower branches are all dead. I ordered Ferti-lome root drench....just in case.  Will treat again when planting. It's not the fast acting choice.....I might get something else. The smallest Hemlocks, planted in porch pots, are ready to transplant as well....maybe 3 of them.  I'm thinking of grouping them on the property line, between retired nurse's weedy moss yard, and my rock bed......in the leaf island. It'll make it harder for her to blow her leaves into that bed, and I don't want to do that.  It's an unfortunate part of a plan she made necessary.  ::picturing dense hemlocks on border::
I like it.

I still have 5 blue hydrangeas to plant.  The ground's wet and nows a good time for it.  Yesterday was warm.  Today's much cooler....37°.  Will be good for digging.

There's moss needs replacing where electric ditch was covered.  It's mud now.....moss was carefully saved.  Will be happy job.



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