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91
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by lighter on October 23, 2025, 09:10:16 AM »
As trash and recycling trucks pick up today....
I can feel clean sunny spaces open and smile at my soul.

SO.

GOOD.

The trailer's almost full.  It's time to stop gathering stones, and let them go.
92
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Adventures in renovations... again
« Last post by lighter on October 22, 2025, 12:54:14 PM »
The basket weave marble tile floor just went in yesterday.  Contractor and I beaten up....feels like I've been rolling in Jujitsu class for a week.  Up and down stairs.  Hands hurt from cutting tile....so dry.  Feet have been cold and wet too long.  Carrying heavy things.....up.  Down.  Up.

So, today contractor giving his knees a break.....he was bleeding pretty badly yesterday.  So hard on his knees to lay tile.

He's working on the vanity, which I think he enjoys.

Will be done soon and he'll move on to driveway jobs and two house builds.

We're ready for a break, I can tell, but he'll always come when I need him.  I'll always call when I do.

Have to put black pencil trim in floor. Finish bullnose around shower niche and lay bottom row of wall tile THEN grout.

Vanity should be here in the morning, with granite top.....to paint vanity?  Or not to paint?  Maybe DD23 will learn how to paint on this job?

I feel pretty good on timeline.....guests arrive on 30th.

The neighbor's house, however, is a dusty cluster foch.  I intended to put guests there, over Halloween, but her contractor has ONE worker there, not every day, and is 3 weeks past his promises finished date, with no noticable attempt to finish till my d next month. 

I always called that neighbor the "nice neighbor" bc she really IS too nice.  Contractor weaponized her empathy with a lie about worker being ill.  New worker said the guy was fired for working too slow.

Oh well....will make it work....and have access to her 2 fridges, when needed.

Lighter

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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Mindfulness and codependence thread
« Last post by lighter on October 22, 2025, 12:42:23 PM »
 All through the recent renovations, I've been organizing closets and tools and holiday gear....... it's very......cleansing.   Very freeing.  And easy.....er.....ish.

Today contractor is retrofitting the dresser into a vanity, to fit the 66"wide black granite vanity top.  It came out of a hotel.  I pitched the fake wood vanity and bought a (too wide) kitchen cabinet height dresser.....will utilize end drawers and attempt to cut down center drawers to fit....... it's 6" too wide.

All this to say ..... I'm start and stuttering less reactive.  I recover more quickly.  I notice when I go down the rabbit holes....and choose to stay or go.

It's cool to SEE the changes.....dare I say healing process?

Ya, I think I do.

Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Friendship Moments: good or bad
« Last post by lighter on October 22, 2025, 12:36:25 PM »
You sound really solid, (Hops.)

When the energetic charge dissipates.... we're healing, I guess.

I noticed the same while cleaning out my desk today.  Picture a huge carved Ponderosa sized, dark wood L shaped affair, but with bookshelves to the ceiling and antique postage, and antique ribbon holding things with tons of storage space, fur thems that hoard art supplies....add 6, very full, legal boxes, generations of family photos, books and assorted cutters, hole punches and hanging file holders, yet to be installed on backs of antiques, which create a wall of privacy .....and you have the picture.

No reactivity, at all, today.  Just organizing and pitching, repeat.

DD24 needs a place to study, and she'll have it.

The addition of the water closet actually created a more inviting space, if that's possible.  Cozied up the desk space....closer to hall and stairs.  No wasted space, where once there was a dumping ground for things to deal with.

I'm astonished.....eek.  Meant to post this on my thread.  Apologies, Hops.  I'd like an update, when you're ready.

Lighter
95
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by lighter on October 22, 2025, 12:26:18 PM »
I just sent the 30yo survey to the potential buyer, who enjoyed his island trip, but for the day without hot water.  I won't go into it, but feeeeel frustration.  Trust me.

The annual renters has changed her Jan-Feb dates to mid February thru March, bc her DD is having a January baby.  Exciting for them.  Also means my brother can stay longer at New Years.

I appreciate brother installed or fixed hot water heater.  No one tells me anything...secret squirrel/need to know basis, I guess. 

Housekeeper said he also brought a new microwave over.  Sweet, bc old one was rusting out.

I'm considering living there for April/Me at/June in order to renovate guest cottage.  I can continue to rent main cottage, but typically most rentals are in the hot arse hot months if summer. Gack. Would rather eat a bug.

96
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on October 17, 2025, 03:59:33 PM »
Will be fine, Amber. 
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 16, 2025, 03:59:37 PM »
I wore contacts for about 20 years. Glasses don't bug me.
I already have funky depth perception - it's the blurriness and "soft edges" that are causing me issues with anything beyond my uncorrected easy seeing distance.

I've been seeing a lot of people talk about it and how amazing the results were - and still are, years later. Along with a lot of tips for preparing for and getting through the recovery phase.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Farm Journal - 2025
« Last post by lighter on October 15, 2025, 07:48:30 PM »
Another thought, Amber.

Are you comfortable wearing glasses?
Contact lenses?

Do you feel losing your depth perception, or some part of it, would be detrimental to your life?

Research other people's experiences, and choose the best possible option for your life, is my advice.

Lighter
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming
« Last post by Hopalong on October 15, 2025, 02:14:15 PM »
You might find this useful:

https://libguides.wvu.edu/c.php?g=1204801&p=8818927

Hugs,
Hops
100
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Predatory grooming
« Last post by sKePTiKal on October 15, 2025, 11:35:09 AM »
Yep, HL Mencken's warning about only believing half of what you read and none of what you hear, needs to be people's mantra online these days. It's absolutely amazing to me, checking different news sources, the amount of blatant agenda in all of them - and they are primarily designed to confirm a belief, or set the outrage dial to 1000. I am so glad, while I was reading "Steal this Book", I also read Marshall McClluhan. Yeah, I was about 12 then. Having worked in PR, I also understand how much "grooming" there is of people's attitudes and beliefs. It's all manipulation of one's MIND and intuition and feelings.

Every so often, I'll hear about some source for news that doesn't mingle "opinion" in their articles or is supposedlly unbiased. I still don't have any recommendations for one yet. I'd LIKE to know a bit of what is going on in the rest of the world - not just US politics, sports & entertainment. (Blech! Do I care what football player got arrested for breaking laws? Or what's going on with Taylor Swift and her boyfriend?? NOPE.)

So, I can mostly accept being in the dark about Kamchatka or Timbuktu or Nepal or India/Pakistan. If I wanted to translate news sources from those parts of the world, I could. But then - what's THEIR bias?

SIGH.
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