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91
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by lighter on March 18, 2026, 05:37:00 PM »
My experience with "angry inner child" has been to notice who's there, what that part has to say, validating the part(of course you feel that way...who wouldn't) accepting, and inviting them to sit beside ( my grown self) as ally going forward. My adult self becomes practiced compassionate witness....becomes practiced.

As trauma processes, I experience windows of tolerance expanding also....
 I practice being mindful of being in survival mode vs calm and integrated brain/frontal cortex available to creatively problem solve with logic and reason available.

We o

92
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Hopalong on March 18, 2026, 02:30:48 PM »
What a great assignment...to go choose a stuffie that comforts you.

My dog is a living stuffie who loves disemboweling the manufactured ones. I finally stopped getting them because bending over and over to get fluff off the floor couldn't continue.

I went on a hunt for strong, unstuffed toys. What a relief to find some. As long as he's chomping, he's happy. And in the morning and at night, he's a warm, living hug of a companion who is clamped to my side like a barnacle. I can feel my BP going down and my breathing relax...he is my partner. My source of loving touch.

I remember the first time I handled a Gund stuffed toy. A revelation! Doesn't matter if it's a placebo effect, I believe the endorphins studies.

hugs
Hops
93
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by Hopalong on March 18, 2026, 02:24:27 PM »
Absolutely. How the external training (including brainwashing, religious control, unconscious bias of patriarchy, on and on....) becomes an internal jailer we continue to respect and obey. At the expense of our own best interests.

It's life work. Life-long work, imo, to discover and passionately defend our core values and our core selves. I have mortality on my mind a lot these days but still am animated by the search for MY truth. Made or discovered in ME, by ME.

On we go.

hugs
Hops
94
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 18, 2026, 08:00:33 AM »
<scoff!>

OK. Sure. I think Ns are more likely to not smoke - as a demonstration of how much more perfect they are. THEY would never get addicted to anything.... (which ain't true, but who knows what delusions reign in an N's imagination??)
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 18, 2026, 07:54:37 AM »
Well, my version of this involves internalized criticism from external sources. And those were "rules" I had to live by and always "accept" and kowtow to. I think it evolved into self-judgement based on a set of imposed values.

Once I started questioning "whose rules" and "why rules in the first place" things cracked open a little bit more. Now the lifelong habits are still around and me making even little changes to them feels "not safe"... but I pick one thing to persist with, come hell or high water...

Some days are better than others, success wise. But at least now, I set the bar a lot lower to make it easier and more pleasant.
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: The island
« Last post by sKePTiKal on March 18, 2026, 07:46:36 AM »
I'll second that motion!

Potential marketing idea: there are a LOT of idealistic young people (with cash) looking for "off grid, primitive lifestyle" development projects. Personally, I'd never own anything near the ocean again but it IS a pleasant life for awhile.
97
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Meh on March 17, 2026, 10:31:13 PM »

Large-scale population studies (like the NESARC survey) show a significant positive relationship between Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Nicotine Dependence.  ???
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Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Meh on March 17, 2026, 10:09:04 PM »

A friend of mine who I think is an oddball told me she has bags of stuffed animals. I think it's immature.

She told me though that hugging a stuffed animal releases dopamine & serotonin or something along those lines.

So when I went to the grocery store I hugged a stuffed chicken, a stuffed bunny, a stuffed pig.

I told the lady at the checkout that I hugged one of their stuffed animals and felt somewhat dumb as an adult and then she told me she has stuffed animals at home.

Maybe there is something to it.
99
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: Anything again
« Last post by Meh on March 17, 2026, 10:04:59 PM »

Yes, there are little free libraries around here.
100
Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board / Re: N.
« Last post by Hopalong on March 17, 2026, 10:00:32 PM »
I'd say, go for it in spite of junk insurance, because I believe a smart, compassionate counselor can pop up anywhere. I remember being amazed at how much a MSW counselor in a big public hospital helped me once. I attended a group that was inspiring and then saw her individually for a while.

I think negative rumination is slow poison. It's like you are speaking to yourself in the righteous-justice voice you needed to hear, for validation long ago. Slowly, it can turn to positive, self-respecting thinking. And then you start to understand that you can in fact steer your own thoughts in a different direction.

My first effort was when I started asking myself to talk to myself with the kindness and love I'd give to any child. To actually become my own friend. It has helped a lot. I sometimes catch myself criticizing myself with sharpness the moment the day begins and I face my home's dishevelment. Lately, I've just been reminding myself how I love this sweet place and when I'm ready, even in small steps, I can make it beautiful again. Small steps are fine and perfection ain't the point.

What I'm saying to myself about myself is the most important thing.

hugs
Hops
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