Why are so many N's physicians?

[dogbit]

I raised the question because I have the "best" attorney in the area....highly respected, fair, 30 years experience...etc. etc.  Everyone I have asked says, "OH YES, She is GOOD"....And I think she is also.  It's just that when I talk with her, I feel like the slimy piece of silly putty my husband encouraged me to feel like.  So, I says to myself...what is going on here?  The foremost example is that she doesn't really take my emotions into account in determining the legal strategy in my divorce.  WHAT!!!!  Am I developing another relationship with an N-type person!!!!  And the post traumatic reflexive responses I have to simple questions from her caused me to freeze with panic...(The actual bottom line here is that attorneys deal with the law and not the emotions...that is my therapist's job  )The same dynamic happened with my first obstetrician.  He was very good, smart, but no warm-fuzzies, shmoozing, or bedside manner.  But my kid was born just fine.  So, I'm thinking: Does my interpretation of these people have more to do with me than them.....I don't know what they are like at home.  Probably they are just fine.  I continue to work on regaining a balanaced view of the people in my life.  And, since my husband is such a jerk, I have had ample time to figure out that my attorney is just fine.  She is serving my legal interests well.  So, that is the background for the question!

Dogbit wrote:
Is it possible to display narcissistic tendencies while in your profession and be non-narcissistic with your loved ones?

[Sallying Forth]

Dogbit,
The best attornies I've used don't take emotions into account either. However they have also been called S.O.B.s outside their profession. So I got to wonder if they have narcissistic tendencies. The person's life, inside and outside their profession, would need to be observed to know the truth.

There is one attorney my husband used when he broke both his legs. The guy was very good but NOT in the least bit N. He did take emotions into account but focused on the facts. The physician/surgeon on the same case had absolutely no sense of humor. One day my h joked about something. The doc didn't miss a beat during his exam and seemed to ignore him. His bedside manner was cold and factual almost like a lawyer.

I had a doctor years back who had the bedside manner of a prickly pear. She was an excellent diagnostician and hand surgeon. I understand she's this way in her personal life too. She's married to a doctor and he works with her. He is more congenial than her but slightly prickly.

My current doctor is compassionate, understanding and takes the entire mind, body and spirit into consideration when treating her patients.

[Plucky as guest]

now in my case, and in other families here as described, everyone at work love the n and thinks they are a saint, and then as soon as they get home, it all gets dumped on the family. 


This is so true.  I was talking with someone who works for my husband, and she said, "he is the nicest person I ever met'.  I had a very hard time keeping a straight face.  And I remember that once I even started to cry because I overheard him talking to someone at work, and he sounded like a different person!  In fact, I came into the room, because I thought someone else was there!  It just made me feel awful to know he was capable of such warmth and caring, as at home he was a cold hard rock.
Plucky

[Sallying Forth]

This is so true.  I was talking with someone who works for my husband, and she said, "he is the nicest person I ever met'.  I had a very hard time keeping a straight face.  And I remember that once I even started to cry because I overheard him talking to someone at work, and he sounded like a different person!  In fact, I came into the room, because I thought someone else was there!  It just made me feel awful to know he was capable of such warmth and caring, as at home he was a cold hard rock.
Plucky

This is also true with abusers. People would tell me how wonderful my husband is and I would cringe. And when he spoke to customers he listened and gave them undivided attention. It was everything I never got.


Thankfully now when they tell me how wonderful he is, I actually smile because he is now wonderful to me. He is a changed man.

[miss piggy]

Hi SF...

Ns always smile at new supply and at $$$$.  We just became so much decoration around the N to draw more supply and $$$.   

MP

[Plucky]

Thankfully now when they tell me how wonderful he is, I actually smile because he is now wonderful to me.  He is a changed man.

That is wonderful!  I would like to hear your story and how you got from there to here.   Is it posted someplace?
Plucky