Control VS Controlling

[gratitude28]

Where do you think the line is between control and controlling?

Being in control is good... but being controlling is bad...

What do you think???

[Stormchild]

Self vs. others.

self control - good.

trying to control everyone within a 5 mile radius - bad.

seem reasonable?

[Overcomer]

CONTROL which is micro managing everyones every move is a defence mechanism people use to protect themselves-but that kind of control makes people hate you.

[gratitude28]

What about control with the self - a sensible diet vs controlling - anorexia.

I think I was talking about within the self.

[isittoolate]

I like to be in control of myself, my work , my finances and my bladder.

I've been controlled by others, in the past, but never again if I can help it!

IZ

[isittoolate]

OIC, Beth

Well both of those are in the mind, right?

You choose, in your mind what you are going to eat.

You choose in your mind to not eat, with this one being in the category of "an addiction out of control"

Is that on track?
love
Iz

[Stormchild]

Oh yes, the bladder. Oh yes indeed.

Iz, you made me laugh so hard I dern near peed m'self

Beth, I see what you mean. I kind of still take the same tack, though. Self control vs. controlling parts of myself as though they WERE other, and not parts of me, somehow.

Sorry, that probably sounds nuts, but it makes perfect sense to me and I don't know how else to explain it.

[axa]

I think being in control is coming from the adult part of oneself

Controlling is the defensive child at work.

axa

[poetprose]

I think any time the word "control" is being used in your vocabulary , it is worth examining,

making decissions so that you can be in control of something is "controlling", but if the motive is for protection of self then it is ok
ie) if you have a disorder that has "triggers" you will at times make decissions arround this avoidance... etc, so you do this to be in "control" of your illness

even then this to me can only be a temporary measure... because you can not control the world so that you do not get ill

I saw a man on Dr Phil yesterday who was an obsessive controller of his wife... she could not go out without him putting a tracking devise in her car... he read all her emails,  he spied on her, etc... he took away all her right to privacy in the name of love* (which really was never love in the first place), because love does not lock someone in the basement...  and take away your rights

[poetprose]

>>I think that control is an illusion.<<<

true:-)) i agree