N-Roomie stuff is triggering N-mommy stuff...

[Gabben]

Unfortunately the world is full of Ns and the point for me is to see them but not to bother me (that much) anymore, not because they are part of who I am(my conflict with them) but rather a bunch of people that are made/behaving a certain way. I think with us it's a bit like it happens with pregnancy: They say that there is alwasy the same amount of pregnant women but when you get pregnant, you start noticing them and think they are more!

Thanks.

Living with an N roommate really does not bother me that much, but growing up with an N mom, her YEARS of abuse, that pain, IS what bothers me and that is why I posted this, to see it on paper, bring it to light so that it loses it's power over me, so to speak, allow the old pain to wash out of me, and them move on, whether or not she moves out and or the situation changes.

Pain is OK, frustration is OK --  I do not always need a solution or to solve my problems, just times I just need to be able to have a voice about what bothers me, my pain, whether or not I can fix it or not.

Thanks again,
Lise

[Nonameanymore]

Hey Lise,

I wasn't trying to discount your N trouble. Apologies if it sounded/read that way.
I am being introduced to different breeds and versions of Ns everyday and I know it wouldn't have been easy if I were in your shoes and had to share a house with one. All I wanted was to stress is that it's not your fault and some of her struggles are not yours to fight - that's how I see Ns now.
Whenever I can and am of course given the chance to escape their claws and mind games, I refuse to be part of their drama, no matter how much they want to cast me in it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I keep going for the times that work.

P

[Gabben]

All I wanted was to stress is that it's not your fault and some of her struggles are not yours to fight - that's how I see Ns now.

Hi ((P)) I got that, I knew that you were just empathizing, sympathizing and just wanting to help 

Thank you.