N mother as vampire

[Anonymous]

Bunny, where can I learn more about “splitting” – oscillating between rejection and smothering?

Here's a simple description of the splitting defense. It's about borderline personality, and your mom may be a borderline personality as well as narcissistic (these problems often coexist):

http://www.bpd411.org/splittingintro.html

This is also an incredibly useful website:

http://www.bpdresources.com/index.html

It's normal to feel ambivalent/guilty when one's mother has sent the message: "Don't criticize or question my behavior." But go ahead and get information. You'll soon be glad you did. Confusion will eventually become clarity and a better grip on what to do.

bunny